That didn't mean she had to go repeating the past and setting herself up for an even bigger fall.
This time, she couldn't run away when he shattered her heart. Not with Cassie between them.
"Boston," she said, trying to sound reasonable, when she just wanted to toss all common sense into the wind and drag him by the front of his shirt back to her room. "Will you just step back and look at what you're trying to do here? This"—
she motioned between the two of them—"is a bad idea. I mean, aren't you the one who told me you didn't do long distance relationships? And if a relationship's not even what 254
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you're after, then that's even worse. Everything was bad enough when it ended the first time."
"Ellie, you started this," he growled through the dark and reached for her again. "You called me back onto this porch.
You—"
She evaded him. "I know, and I'm sorry. Now please, just go. I...this was a bad idea. I'm sorry, but I don't want it to happen again."
"What are you so afraid of?" he demanded, his voice impatient and frustrated. "Do you honestly think it would end the way it did last time?"
"I'm not afraid," she told him. "I'm just not interested."
"Not interested?" he echoed incredulously. "Not interested?"
Ellie gasped when he snagged her arm and yanked her close. She didn't have time to rebuke him because he covered her mouth with his before she could speak. The sensation rippled a path clear to her toes. She was just starting to arch against him when he pulled away.
"Still not interested?" he snarled in her ear.
Off balance, Ellie reached out blindly and caught stability on the closed front door. She leaned there, breathing hard, as she lifted a hand to her swollen, tingling lips.
"Damn it, Ellie," he groaned. "Someday you really ought to stop lying to me. I could have you right here, right now, and we both know it."
Spine straightening, Ellie pushed from the door and stood erect. "Fine," she said, gathering her pride around her like a 255
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cloak. "You're right. But I think...I suggest we just...ignore it.
For Cassie's sake."
He snorted. "Sorry, that's not working for me."
"And I'm sorry, but that's not my problem. It's working just fine for me."
She turned and reached for the door handle, but a large hand slapped the surface closed just as she started to open it.
Crowding her against the door, he moved up behind her, intimidating her as much as he was enticing her with his hard, powerful body.
"The day you cut down my tree you said you'd wouldn't maul me anymore," she reminded him, biting her lip as soon as she said the words.
He went still for a good thirty seconds. She braced herself, expecting him to lose his temper. But he threw her completely off balance when instead he leaned in and smelled her hair. Too startled to even breathe, she stood there passively as he nuzzled his face against the back of her shoulder.
"I won't ever hurt you again, Ellie. I've spent all these years wishing I'd done things differently. If I could take it back, I would. When I started pursuing you, I already foresaw an end. And that's the worst thing a person can do in a relationship. But this time, you're the one anticipating an end.
And this time, you're the one who's wrong. You hurt me too, you know. You purposely kept Cassie from me.
"Just think about that, Elora. I'm willing to work past this, and I've been wronged a lot more recently than you have.
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Why aren't you so willing? And don't tell me it's because you're not interested."
When she didn't answer inside five seconds, his warmth at her back disappeared. Ellie whirled around and was shocked to see his stiff spine as he strode off the porch toward his car.
Half tempted to call him back, she hurried to the top of the steps, listening to him slam his car door and start the engine.
She hugged herself as his Infiniti backed out of her drive and took off down the street.
Mind spinning, she wondered if he'd meant what he'd just said. Did he think it would be forever this time? His words sounded too good to be true...which meant they probably were. Or was she the one causing the problem?
Confused, hurt, and a little mad, she felt tears fill her eyes and quickly lifted both hands to her face to wipe them away.
Boston wasn't being fair. He shouldn't have heaped all this on her. She couldn't work through her hang-ups as quickly as he could. She hadn't been raised in a big, close-knit, loving family like his. She hadn't had all the luxuries in life he'd had.
All she'd ever really had was herself to rely on. It wasn't so easy for her to put her faith in someone who'd already hurt her.
Damn him for expecting something she couldn't give.
Damn her for making him hope.
Boston simmered all the way home. It was a quiet drive, giving him too much time to think and stew.
She'd lied to him.
Again.
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It was more than obvious she'd wanted him just as much as he'd wanted her. So why in the hell had she pulled back and put a stop to it?
In the years since his time with her, he had sometimes let himself wonder at night what he'd be doing with his life if Ellie hadn't lost that baby. Would he have asked her to marry him?
He kind of thought so. After missing her the way he did, he thought he would've gone back and begged until she accepted his ring.
Missing her had hurt, and festered, and bugged the hell out of him. He never wanted to experience that again, so he'd stayed away from relationships. Besides, no one had ever sparked something inside him the way Ellie had.
But now that she was back in his life, stirring up old feelings, he knew he couldn't let her get away this time.
Grinding his teeth and flexing his fingers around the steering wheel, he wondered how the hell he was ever going to break through her trust issues.
He wondered if he even could. A helpless surge of panic raced up the back of his neck just as his phone rang. Though he didn't feel like talking to anyone, he still checked the ID to see who was trying to get a hold of him. When Ellie's number flashed across the screen, his heart nearly beat out of his chest.
"Hello?" he said, and clenched his teeth because even he could hear how hopeful he sounded.
"How about every other week?" Ellie's tremulous voice came out.
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For a moment he was utterly confused. "What?" Then it struck him what she was saying. "You mean for custody."
She didn't answer. He blew out a breath, still shocked she was suddenly willing to compromise. "Um...okay. I accept every other week. Definitely."
"Fine." Her words were brisk, abrupt. "You can start next weekend. Bring a revised contract with you for me to sign."
"Okay. I can do that. Ellie—"
She hung up on him before he could say anything else.
Quietly he set his phone down, not sure what to make of this new development.
Either Ellie suddenly trusted him...or she couldn't stomach the idea of him coming to her place and spending any more time there to be with his daughter.
He had a bad feeling her reason was the latter.
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Chapter Sixteen
Eight days later, Cassidy had her first weekend with her father. While Ellie was ripe with apprehension, her daughter was beyond excited. Boston must've been a jumble of both emotions, because he called Ellie three times during the week, asking question after question. First he wanted to know if Cassidy had any allergies or phobias. Then he wanted to kno
w about her sleeping habits, her bedtime and if he needed to get her a nightlight.
Ellie couldn't help but melt every time she heard his nervous voice. And, in truth, spending most her time answering his questions and soothing his nerves eased her own worries. At least he was going to try to do things right.
Dealing with him also took her mind off the fact she'd be completely without her baby girl for a full forty-eight hours.
She needed to get a life. Letting her world revolve around her daughter had been all good and well until the girl went and deserted her every other weekend. Now, she just felt useless and lonely.
It was pure providence when Ted Barnaby came into her office one day. Ted was a partner in Barnaby & Murdock, an advertising firm in Lawrence. He kept Ellie's boss on retainer as their legal advisor. And every time he popped in for Winston to look over a contract, he had to stop by Ellie's desk to flirt. For the past three years since Winston had been dealing with him, Ted had asked her out on an average of once every two to three months.
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So, when he perched his hip on the corner of her desk, stole a mint from her candy jar and asked her what she was doing that Friday night, Ellie stared at him and thought, Why not? Cassie would be with Boston for their second weekend together, and she'd be all alone.
She'd been out of the dating world for so long, she didn't even know the rules anymore, but going out with a man she'd known for a few years seemed like a nice safe place to start.
Besides, it was way past time to spend a little social time with an adult of the opposite gender.
Before she could rethink her decision, she said, "Well, I hope I'm going to dinner with you."
Though he hadn't been moving around to do so, Ted fell off the corner of her desk. He caught himself before tumbling all the way to the floor and straightened instantly, tugging his suit jacket back into place as he did. Then he stared at Ellie in blunt surprise before saying, "Really?"
She laughed. "Was that not what you had in mind?"
"No!" he blurted out before he realized how unstylishly he was behaving. Then he cleared his throat, fiddled with the knot of his tie. "I mean...yes, that's what I had in mind. A nice, quiet restaurant with a little wine and candlelight was exactly what I had in mind."
Slipping right into flirt mode, Ellie twined a piece of hair around her finger. "And what time will you be picking me up Friday evening?"
"How does seven sound?"
Seven o'clock. Boston would be gone by six with Cassie.
That would give her an hour to prepare. Perfect.
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"It sounds great," she answered.
"Then...great," he said, pitching his voice even lower as he grinned at her. "I'll see you Friday at seven." He turned to leave then but drew short at the last seconds, swinging back to eye her peculiarly for a moment. "Just curious, but what changed your mind?"
Ellie didn't figure she should tell him the truth— it was either you or no one, bud. Sorry. Giving him one of those Mona Lisa smiles, she grinned and said, "I just thought that after all those mints you stole from my jar, you probably owed me a full-course meal by now."
His gaze slid slowly to her candy jar and then back to her.
She could see by the gleam in his eyes how her comment delighted him.
"Well now, ma'am," he told her in a silken voice, "I'll do everything in my power to make sure you get your money's worth."
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Chapter Seventeen
Ellie gnawed on her bottom lip and stared impatiently at her wristwatch until the phone rang. She yelped, not expecting the sound, and pressed a hand to her heart.
It was finally Friday, the day for her big date, and Boston hadn't shown yet. Okay, to be fair it wasn't even six o'clock, but the man was usually so impatient to get Cassie, he showed up obscenely early to fetch her. But tonight, it was two till and he was nowhere around. It was as if he knew she had plans for once in her life and was doing everything in his power to keep her nerves rattled.
"Hello," she answered, hoping it wasn't Ted to cancel. After borrowing a dress from Nora, she was actually excited for a fancy night out.
"Ellie." The voice calling through the crackling phone lines sounded as if it came from a long distance. Her stomach tingled in apprehension. In the background, she heard traffic noise and occasional honking.
She pressed a hand to one ear, hoping to hear him better.
"Boston?"
"I'm sorry," he gushed. "I'm stuck in a major traffic jam on the interstate. There's some kind of wreck up ahead and no one is moving."
"Oh." Her shoulders dragged. Shoot. "Ah..."
"I'm only about ten miles outside Lawerence. But there's no way I'm going to get there by six."
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"Umm, okay." Damn. "Uh..." She wondered briefly what he wanted her to do about it. "So...do you know when you'll make it?"
"No, sorry." His apology sounded genuine. "Traffic was starting to move a few minutes ago, but now it's come to a complete stop again."
"Oh, well...all right then. I'll see you...whenever."
"You'll tell Cassie what's going on?"
"Of course."
"Thanks. See you in a bit."
After he hung up, Ellie continued to hold the phone in her hand. Biting her lip, she stared sightlessly at the wall.
Thinking this was probably the best time to prepare for her date, she hopped into the bathroom and took a quick shower.
Cassie was camped out in front of the mini television in her room, playing Mario Brothers with Keller, so Ellie took her time putting on makeup and doing her hair. She'd just slipped on her going-out heels when the doorbell rang.
Ellie glanced at the clock and let out a relived sigh. Yes!
Great timing. There were still twenty minutes before Ted was supposed to arrive. That gave her the perfect window of opportunity to get Cassie and Boston out the door before her date showed.
Boston started apologizing as soon as she opened the entrance. "I am so sorry about this, El. I left plenty early. If it wasn't for—" He stopped midsentence and took in her painted face, styled hair, and knee-length sexy black dress. "You're going out." He stated it as a comment, but the underlying question behind his words remained thick in the air.
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"That's right," Ellie answered. "I—" Stepping aside to let him in, she turned and yelled, "Cassie! Your father's here."
"Just one more minute," the girl hollered back. "I'm almost through this level."
Boston frowned at Ellie in confusion, and she rolled her eyes. "She and Keller are on the Xbox."
"Ah," he said; all the while his gaze moved down her dress and back up to her face. "So...is this, like...a date?"
Ellie eyes narrowed. "It's, like...none of your business."
"Then it's a date," he said.
"I didn't say that."
He looked amused when he answered, "If it was anything else, you'd tell me."
"No, I would—"
"It's not going to work this time, Ellie," he murmured, stepping closer. "I refuse to fight with you anymore. So, whatever you say in an attempt to upset me is just going to bounce off me unnoticed."
"I'm not trying to—"
"Though, I have to admit," he went on, conversationally, stepping in a circle around her to check out her backside,
"going out with someone else to make me jealous is working.
Very well."
"Arggg." She spun away from him and yelled, "Cassidy!"
"Just a minute," the girl roared back.
Determined to ignore her daughter's father, Ellie picked up a pair of earrings she'd le
ft sitting on the coffee table. She turned to look in a mirror and became engrossed with trying to put them on.
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"You know I'm not doing this because of you," she grumbled to her reflection as she spoke to Boston. "In fact, if you hadn't been so late, I would've waited until after you were gone before I even started getting ready for tonight."
More in control of herself, she sighed in relief when the earring finally slid on. Then she whirled to face him. "So, there's no reason for you to think I'm trying to make you jealous, because I never intended for you to find out about it in the first place."
"Well, I'm jealous anyway," he said quietly.
The admission threw her off guard. This is what she hated most about Boston Kincaid. He never played fair. He always knew exactly what to say to draw her in.
Glancing away, she folded her arms over her chest, refusing to let his pretty words sway her. "That's not my problem."
"And if I make it your problem?" he countered, stepping closer.
She turned her face aside. "Boston—"
"I want to be with you, Ellie," he whispered, stopping her rejection short. "And I know you want it too. All I have to do it look into your eyes to see that you want—"
"Sex," she finished for him, turning to stare him directly in the eye.
Surprised by her cold, lifeless tone, he fell a step back.
"Excuse me?"
"We want sex," she said on an unconcerned shrug. "And why wouldn't we? It was always good between us. But that 266
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was never the problem. There's more to a relationship than just—"
"I'm well aware of that," he cut in. "And if you'd give me half a chance, I'll show you I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get it right this time."
"No," she said.
He growled and grabbed a handful of his own hair. "Damn it, Elora," he gritted out. "What do I have to say to convince you—"
"Nothing," she said, pacing across the living room to gain some space. "Trust me. You've said quite enough."
Boston froze and looked at her as if she'd struck him. The instant hurt she saw in his eyes made her want to apologize, but she kept her mouth stubbornly shut.