Page 22 of City Girl

going to live forever. What will you do when they're

  gone?"

  "I'll be very sad. I'll grieve for a long time, but I still

  won't hold back on my feelings for them today. I'll still

  pour my heart into them so that today can be all God

  intended and so when they do ride away from here--even

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  if it turns out to be the last time I see them on this earth-- I'll have no regrets.

  "You're right, Reagan, families do cost something, but

  they're worth every cent."

  Reagan was so shaken that she almost dropped her

  washcloth. Her complexion went very pale, and she looked

  helplessly at Cash.

  "Reagan." Cash's voice was the kindest she'd ever

  heard. "I'm sorry to upset you. I promise it was the last

  thing I wanted to do. You didn't want to talk about it I

  should have let it go."

  "You did let it go," she reminded him. "I brought it back

  up." She turned to the dishpan and admitted softly, "I

  don't know why I'm the way I am."

  "If s not hard to guess, the way your mother left and

  your father turned to drink."

  Reagan nodded. "But there's no excuse for worry or fear,

  is there, Cash? You told us how huge our God is and how

  powerful and able to look after our every need He is. You

  told Katy and me that last Thursday night, and Pastor Fills said something about it on Sunday too."

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  City Girl 205

  "Thaf s true, Reagan, and if s great you remembered, but

  don't be harder on yourself than God is. When you fall into

  the sin of worry or fear, confess it to God as you would any

  other sin, and ask Him to change you."

  They heard laughter coming from Katy's room, and

  Reagan listened to it in silence. Cash was right. Those men

  with her had no guarantee that Katy would be alive the

  next time they visited, but they'd traveled--one leaving an

  expectant wife--to see her because she was loved, because

  she was family. Even if she died an hour after they left, they

  would not be the least bit sorry they had come. In fact,

  Reagan thought with a sudden certainty, it would probably

  be quite the opposite.

  Without warning the young woman relaxed. She had

  not been thinking logically. Her fear had clouded her judgment.

  If she knew that she had a last chance to see Sally or

  Holly, she would not stay away. She would go to her side

  and be with her no matter how hard it was to say goodbye

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  at a later time.

  For a moment Reagan was transported back to the day

  she realized her mother was not returning. For a long time

  she had blamed herself. She convinced herself that her

  mother would have stayed if she'd only been a better little

  girl. Then her life became consumed with her father's

  drinking, and some of her mother's memory faded into the

  background. She had started to wonder if she'd caused her

  father to drink, but by then a wall had grown around her

  heart, and she didn't care-if she had or not

  Today she was able to see that she had not been responsible.

  Just by thinking about her own life, she knew that she

  couldn't blame someone else for the choices she made, no

  matter how tempting that might be.

  With a heartfelt sigh, Reagan turned to thank Cash for

  the help his words had been but found herself alone.

  And isn't that just like him, Reagan thought with pleasure. He's so thoughtful and caring. It's too bad he doesn't have

  206 * lori wick

  children, she said to the Lord. Their upbringing would be Jar

  377

  removed from my own.

  5"3r -

  "We

  have to talk."

  Cash had been dead asleep. He was emotionally drained

  these days/ and most nights when his head hit the pillow,

  he was gone.

  "Dakota?"

  "Yeah. Slater too."

  Cash heard the strike of a match just as light came into

  his eyes. Both his brothers were standing fully dressed at

  the side of his bed. For a moment he wondered what time

  it was and then realized they must have stayed up talking

  after he'd gone to bed.

  "Is something wrong?"

  "No, but with Slater leaving tomorrow night, who

  knows when well get to talk again?"

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  Cash was finally awake enough to look into their eyes.

  He caught steely determination.

  "Talk or browbeat me into agreeing with you?"

  "He knows us too well," Dakota said without repentance

  and proceeded to sit on the edge of the bed. Slater

  took the floor.

  "I know she's a new Christian and that these things take

  time," Dakota began. "But Slate and I want to know if

  you've noticed Reagan."

  -"She

  lives in my house," Cash stated calmly.

  "That doesn't mean you've noticed her," Slater said.

  "Dak told me that if you hadn't pointed out to him that he

  was falling for Darvi, he might never have given it a

  thought."

  "And you think I've fallen for Reagan?"

  "No. We think she's fallen for you."

  Cash had no trouble shaking his head.

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  City Girl 207

  "Now there you're wrong. If ever there was a woman

  who did not want a family, it's Reagan Sullivan."

  This stopped both men. Their brother's voice told mem

  he was completely serious.

  "Listen," Cash went on, "I appreciate your caring--you

  know I do--and as I've told you, I want to fall in love and

  get married. But it doesn't seem to consume my thoughts

  like it does yours. I'm happy and at peace with who I am

  right now. If God has someone for me, you'll be the first to

  know, but for now, I can't push this, especially not with

  Reagan. Her heart can't take it"

  "We're sorry we woke you," Dakota said sincerely.

  "Thanks for telling us, Cash. We'll keep praying."

  "Thank you. I'll see you in the morning," he murmured,

  sounding as tired as he felt.

  "All right. Good night."

  Slater said his goodnight as well, but the moment the

  two men were out in the hallway, Dakota signaled his

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  brother into his room. They shut the door so they could

  finish the conversation.

  "He's in love with her," Slater stated.

  "I think so too, but he doesn't know it, and rigjit now it

  looks like that's for the best"

  "Do you think he does know but has held his feelings in

  check? I mean, she did just come to Christ, and Cash would

  not even entertain the notion of marrying an unbeliever."

  "He might have, but I don't think so. I think his heart is

  as tender as it's always been, and Reagan is just another

  one of the many recipients."

  The younger Rawlings brothers were tired as well and

  didn't have much more to say. With few other words, each

  man sought his own bed, but before they could rest, each

  was convicted of his thoughts and actions.

  A major miracle had happened with both Katy and

  Reagan coming to Christ, and all they could
do was play

  matchmaker. In the morning, both men planned to seek

  Cash out and apologize.

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  381

  5-*3r

  "You want to ride?" Reagan asked in surprise, staring

  up at Slater.

  "Sure. I've seen them in St. Louis but never been close to

  one. Or don't you think 111 fit?"

  "Oh, no, you'll fit I'm just surprised."

  "Why?"

  Reagan looked uncertain and then knew she had to

  come out with it.

  "I'm the reason Katy broke her hip. I brought the bike

  out and talked her into riding."

  "Thaf s not what Katy said/' Slater told her with a smile.

  Reagan blinked.

  "What did Katy say?"

  "She said that she knew she should have stopped and

  didn't. She was getting tired but wanted to show off for

  Cash, so when she put her leg out, it couldn't support her."

  Reagan's mouth opened and Slater grinned. Her hands

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  came to her waist, and the accent slipped into place.

  "So you've been chattin' behind Reagan's back, have

  you now? Well, I'll tell you a thing or two, Mr. Rawlings,"

  Reagan began, stopping when she saw that Dakota had

  come on the scene and was staring at hen

  "Do it again," he ordered, but Reagan only laughed.

  "I thought you were here to visit Katy," she accused

  them, her voice returning to normal.

  "She's asleep. I think we wore her out last night and

  then again this morning,"

  "I still want to ride this thing," Slater put in, and Reagan

  acquiesced and gave him a quick demonstration.

  "She just hops right on! Etid you see that?"

  "Yes, I did. I think I'll have a try."

  "Wait your turn, Dakota."

  Before long Cash joined the threesome, and in little time

  they had Reagan in near hysterics with their antics on the

  City Girl 209

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  bike. To the amazement of all, Cash was the most proficient.

  "Have you been practicing in the barn when I wasn't

  looking?" Reagan challenged him.

  "Every night," he teased. "I sneak down after dark and

  ride among the horses."

  "Wouldn't Darvi love to see this," Slater called as

  Dakota took a turn.

  "I was thinking of some of the Rangers I used to work

  with. I'm glad they're not around now."

  "Rangers?" Reagan questioned Cash.

  "Dakota and Slater were both with the Texas Rangers."

  Reagan's mouth dropped open as she did nothing to disguise

  her amazement.

  "Real Texas Rangers?"

  Cash smiled.

  "Who's a real Texas Ranger?" Dakota asked as he rode

  up and stopped.

  Reagan could only stare at both of the younger Rawlngses.

  "What's so amazing, Reagan?" Cash asked her.

  "I don't know. I just never thought I'd meet any. I've

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  been hearing about the Texas Rangers since I was a little

  girl."

  Once again Cash was given a glimpse of life through

  Reagan's eyes. The very things he thought nothing of were

  special and amazing to her.

  "Is it too personal to ask why you're not with the

  Rangers anymore?"

  "Not at all." Dakota filled her in, explaining the way

  Rangers had to be on the move and how hard it was to

  meet that expectation and also be with his family.

  Reagan was still looking stunned over who they had

  been when she realized she hadn't checked on Katy for a

  time.

  "I'd better get inside."

  210 lori wick

  "Thanks for the lesson/' they called to her, but Reagan

  only waved them away. Once inside she found Katy still

  asleep and thought it might be a good time to dust and

  sweep upstairs. She tried to make quick work of it but

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  found it was quite warm and was reminded that she still

  hadn't gotten a chance to shop for cooler clothing. Having'

  arrived in this hot country in January, she had not made

  summer clothing a priority, but suddenly Reagan felt

  awful.

  Not caring whether or not she was needed, Reagan

  moved down to Katy's bedroom and sat quietly in the

  chair. The window was open, and for a time she let what

  little breeze there was blow in on her as she prayed for

  Katy's hip to heal.

  "Are you all right, Reagan?"

  Reagan turned from the window to find Katy looking at

  her.

  I'm just a little warm."

  "Have you nothing cooler to wear?" the older woman

  asked, taking in the long sleeves and dark material of

  Reagan's dress.

  "No. I haven't had a chance to shop."

  "Well, go today."

  "No. I'll just take some time the next time we need supplies."

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  "Oh, stuff and nonsense! If s only April, Reagan. You're

  going to need cooler clothing. Go now while I have the

  boys to look after me."

  "It's not the same," Reagan informed her, knowing Katy

  would understand her meaning.

  "I don't have any needs like that right now. I'm fine.

  Now go. No, wait. Get Cash in here. I'll ask him to take

  you. Do you have money?"

  "Yes, thank you, I do have money, and 111 just ride my

  bike."

  "How will you get your dress home?"

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  "Mrs. Unger will wrap it, I'm sure." Reagan smiled

  before adding, "Dinna fash yourself, woman."

  Before it was over, Cash ended up hearing about

  Reagan's plans and did offer to take her into town, but she

  would have none of it. Before lunch, so the sun was not

  quite as fierce, Reagan--with instructions to take all day if

  she needed--took herself off in the direction of town, her

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  mind already going over what she should buy. She also had

  a letter in her pocket from Katy. It was to be delivered to

  Lavinia. Reagan assumed it was a thank-you note for the

  powder.

  And she was partially correct.

  Had Reagan but known it, Katy was plotting against her.

  All her life Katy Sims had had tender thoughts for the ones

  she loved, but never before had she felt she could express

  them or do anything about them. It had been her lot, or so

  she felt, to cook and clean as a way to say the words she

  could not utter.

  Now she knew better. And the letter to Lavinia was only

  the start

  $eimtet

  "I'M having a sale for special customers," Lavinia

  whispered to Reagan not many minutes after she was

  handed the letter. "Buy two dresses, get one free."

  Reagan's eyes rounded.

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  "When is the sale?"

  'Today only."

  Katy had not asked the mercantile proprietress to lie to

  Reagan; nevertheless, in handling it her own way, she was

  going to accomplish Katy's goal.

  That Lavinia had received a note from Katy thanking

  her for the powder and telling her to talk Reagan into

  buying an extra dress and putting it on her bill was enough

  to surprise her into sitting down, but she fou
ght the urge.

  Staying on her feet and helping Reagan, Lavinia was able

  to see that in just under an hour's time, the younger

  woman left the store with three new dresses, all very lightweight

  and comfortable, and some new underthings and

  stockings too.

  Never in her life had Reagan been able to afford more

  than two dresses. Her shoes were not going to last another

  year, but for the moment, Reagan felt as though she was set

  for life. She was so excited about her purchases that she

  wanted to tell someone. At the same time, she wanted to

  ignore Katy's orders to take her time. Telling herself she

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  City Girl 213

  would just take a few minutes, she rode her bicycle toward

  Holly's house.

  As Reagan knew she would be, Holly was very surprised

  but also pleased to see her.

  "You came in on your own? Cash didn't have one of the

  men bring you?"

  "No, I rode my bike."

  "I'm surprised Cash didn't do the job himself."

  "He wanted to, but his brothers are visiting, one of them

  just until tonight, and I didn't want any of them to have to

  come to town with me."

  "Will you be able to get things back on your bike?"

  "Yes. It's just a small bundle of clothing."

  "For you?"

  Reagan nodded.

  "Show me!"

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  For a time the women enjoyed looking at the purchases,

  but before long Reagan put her hand on Holly's arm and

  spoke intently about what had been lingering in her heart

  on her ride into town.

  "I understand now, Holly, why you wanted this for me.

  I was reading my Bible on Monday morning and realized

  that your prayers were answered with a yes. You knew

  how much God's Son would do in my life, and you wanted

  that for me."

  "Oh, Reagan," Holly said quietly, "you have no idea

  what you do for my heart."

  "I don't know how," Reagan said with a laugh. "There's

  so little I know."

  "But you want to know, and that's such a blessing,

  Reagan."

  Reagan frowned a little.

  "Think of how delighted you were when the children

  loved your bike and Elly wanted to ride it. You were

  thrilled to have them share in something you love."

  Reagan nodded with new understanding.

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  214 lori wick

  'It's coining up on noon. Do you have time to walk with

  Alisa and me to give Russell his lunch?"

  Reagan hesitated, but she wanted to see the large blacksmith

  who was missing from her life on the ranch.