6th Stanza: The Castle Allure
One
All at once she was falling into her body again and the sensation provoked a memory of blinding brilliance: Odetta Holmes at sixteen, sitting on her bed in her slip, sitting in a brilliant bar of sun and pulling up a silk stocking. For the moment this memory held, she could smell White Shoulders perfume and Pond's Beauty Bar, her mother's soap and her mother's borrowed perfume, so grown-up to be allowed perfume, and she thought:It's the Spring Hop! I'm going with Nathan Freeman !
Then it was gone. The sweet smell of Pond's soap was replaced by a clean and cold (but somehow dank) night breeze, and all that remained was that sense, so queer and perfect, of stretching into a new body as if it were a stocking one was pulling up over one's calf and knee.
She opened her eyes. The wind gusted, blowing a fine grit in her face. She squinted against it, grimacing and raising an arm, as if she might have to ward off a blow.
"Over here!" a woman's voice called. It wasn't the voice Susannah would have expected. Not strident, not a triumphant caw. "Over here, out of the wind!"
She looked and saw a tall and comely woman beckoning to her. Susannah's first look at Mia in the flesh astounded her, because the chap's mother waswhite. Apparently Odetta-that-was now had a Caucasian side to her personality, and how that must frost Detta Walker's racially sensitive butt!
She herself was legless again, and sitting in a kind of rude one-person cart. It had been parked at a notch in a low parapet wall. She looked out at the most fearsome, forbidding stretch of countryside she had ever seen in her life. Huge rock formations sawed at the sky and jostled into the distance. They glistened like alien bone beneath the glare of a savage sickle moon. Away from the glare of that lunar grin, a billion stars burned like hot ice. Amid the rocks with their broken edges and gaping crevices, a single narrow path wound into the distance. Looking at it, Susannah thought that a party would have to travel that path in single file. And bring plenty of supplies. No mushrooms to pick along the way; no pokeberries, either. And in the distance - dim and baleful, its source somewhere over the horizon - a dark crimson light waxed and waned. Heart of the rose, she thought, and then:No, not that. Forge of the King. She looked at the pulsing sullen light with helpless, horrified fascination. Flex. . . and loosen. Wax. . . and wane. An infection announcing itself to the sky.
"Come to me now, if you'd come at all, Susannah of New York," said Mia. She was dressed in a heavy serape and what looked like leather pants that stopped just below the knee. Her shins were scabbed and scratched. She wore thick-soledhuaraches on her feet. "For the King can fascinate, even at a distance. We're on the Discordia side of the Castle. Would you like to end your life on the needles at the foot of this wall? If he fascinates you and tells you to jump, you'll do just that. Your bossy gunslinger-men aren't here to help you now, are they? Nay, nay. You're on your own, so y'are. "
Susannah tried to pull her gaze from that steadily pulsing glow and at first couldn't do it. Panic bloomed in her mind
(if he fascinates you and tells you to jump)
and she seized it as a tool, compressing it to an edge with which to cut through her frightened immobility. For a moment nothing happened, and then she threw herself backward so violently in the shabby little cart that she had to clutch the edge in order to keep herself from tumbling to the cobbles. The wind gusted again, blowing stone-dust and grit against her face and into her hair, seeming to mock her.
But that pull. . . fascination. . . glammer. . . whatever it had been, it was gone.
She looked at the dog-cart (so she thought it, whether that was the right name or not) and saw at once how it worked. Simple enough, too. With no mule to draw it,she was the mule. It was miles from the sweet, light little chair they'd found in Topeka, and light-years from being able to walk on the strong legs that had conveyed her from the little park to the hotel. God, she missed having legs. Missed it already.
But you made do.
She seized hold of the cart's wooden wheels, strained, produced no movement, strained harder. Just as she was deciding she'd have to get out of the chair and hop-crawl her ignominious way to where Mia waited, the wheels turned with a groaning, oilless creak. She rumbled toward Mia, who was standing behind a squat stone pillar. There were a great many of these, marching away into the dark along a curve. Susannah supposed that once upon a time (before the world had moved on), archers would have stood behind them for protection while the assaulting army fired their arrows or red-hot catapults or whatever you called them. Then they'd step into the gaps and fire their own weapons. How long ago had that been? What worldwas this? And how close to the Dark Tower?
Susannah had an idea it might be very close indeed.
She pushed the balky, gawky, protesting cart out of the wind and looked at the woman in the serape, ashamed to be so out of breath after moving less than a dozen yards but unable to help panting. She drew down deep breaths of the dank and somehow stony air. The pillars - she had an idea they were called merlons, or something like that - were on her right. On her left was a circular pool of darkness surrounded by crumbling stone walls. Across the way, two towers rose high above the outer wall, but one had been shattered, as if by lightning or some powerful explosive.
"This where we stand is the allure," Mia said. "The wall-walk of the Castle on the Abyss, once known as Castle Discordia. You said you wanted fresh air. I hope this does ya, as they say in the Calla. This is far beyond there, Susannah, this is deep in End-World, near the place where your quest ends, for good or for ill. " She paused and then said, "For ill, almost surely. Yet I care nothing for that, no, not I. I am Mia, daughter of none, mother of one. I care for my chap and nothing more. Chap be enough for me, aye! Would you palaver? Fine. I'll tell you what I may and be true. Why not? What is it to me, one way or the other?"
Susannah looked around. When she faced in toward the center of the castle - what she supposed was the courtyard - she caught an aroma of ancient rot. Mia saw her wrinkle her nose and smiled.
"Aye, they're long gone, and the machines the later ones left behind are mostly stilled, but the smell of their dying lingers, doesn't it? The smell of death always does. Ask your friend the gunslinger, thetrue gunslinger. He knows, for he's dealt his share of it. He is responsible for much, Susannah of New York. The guilt of worlds hangs around his neck like a rotting corpse. Yet he's gone far enough with his dry and lusty determination to finally draw the eyes of the great. He will be destroyed, aye, and all those who stand with him. I carry his doom in my own belly, and I care not. " Her chin jutted forward in the starlight. Beneath the serape her breasts heaved. . . and, Susannah saw, her belly curved. In this world, at least, Mia was very clearly pregnant. Ready to burst, in fact.
"Ask your questions, have at me," Mia said. "Just remember, we exist in the other world, too, the one where we're bound together. We're lying on a bed in the inn, as if asleep. . . but we don't sleep, do we, Susannah? Nay. And when the telephone rings, when my friends call, we leave this place and go to them. If your questions have been asked and answered, fine. If not, that's also fine. Ask. Or. . . are you not a gunslinger?" Her lips curved in a disdainful smile. Susannah thought she was pert, yes, pert indeed. Especially for someone who wouldn't be able to find her way from Forty-sixth Street to Forty-seventh in the world they had to go back to. "Soshoot! I should say. "
Susannah looked once more into the darkened, broken well that was the castle's soft center, where lay its keeps and lists, its barbicans and murder holes, its God-knew-what. She had taken a course in medieval history and knew some of the terms, but that had been long ago. Surely there was a banqueting hall somewhere down there, one that she herself had supplied with food, at least for awhile. But her catering days were done. If Mia tried to push her too hard or too far, she'd find that out for herself.
Meantime, she thought she'd start with something relatively easy.
"If this is the Castle on the Abyss," she said, "where
's the Abyss? I don't see anything out that way except for a minefield of rocks. And that red glow on the horizon. "
Mia, her shoulder-length black hair flying out behind her (not a bit of kink in that hair, as there was in Susannah's; Mia's was like silk), pointed across the inner chasm below them to the far wall, where the towers rose and the allure continued its curve.
"This is the inner keep," she said. "Beyond it is the village of Fedic, now deserted, all dead of the Red Death a thousand years ago and more. Beyond that - "
"The Red Death?" Susannah asked, startled (also frightened in spite of herself). "Poe'sRed Death? Like in the story?" And why not? Hadn't they already wandered into - and then back out of - L. Frank Baum's Oz? What came next? The White Rabbit and the Red Queen?
"Lady, I know not. All I can tell you is that beyond the deserted village is the outer wall, and beyond the outer wall is a great crack in the earth filled with monsters that cozen, diddle, increase, and plot to escape. Once there was a bridge across, but it fell long ago. 'In the time before counting,' as 'tis said. They're horrors that might drive an ordinary man or woman mad at a glance. "
She favored Susannah with a glance of her own. A decidedly satiric one.
"But not agunslinger. Surely not one such asthee. "
"Why do you mock me?" Susannah asked quietly.
Mia looked startled, then grim. "Was it my idea to come here? To stand in this miserable cold where the King's Eye dirties the horizon and sullies the very cheek of the moon with its filthy light? Nay, lady! 'Twas you, so harry me not with your tongue!"
Susannah could have responded that it hadn't been her idea to catch preg with a demon's baby in the first place, but this would be a terrible time to get into one of those yes-you-did, no-I-didn't squabbles.
"I wasn't scolding," Susannah said, "only asking. "
Mia made an impatient shooing gesture with her hand as if to sayDon't split hairs, and half-turned away. Under her breath she said, "I didn't go to Morehouse orno house. And in any case I'll bear my chap, do you hear? Whichever way the cards fall. Bear him and feed him!"
All at once Susannah understood a great deal. Mia mocked because she was afraid. In spite of all she knew, so much of herwas Susannah.
I didn't go to Morehouse or no house,for instance; that was fromInvisible Man, by Ralph Ellison. When Mia had bought into Susannah, she had purchased at least two personalities for the price of one. It was Mia, after all, who'd brought Detta out of retirement (or perhaps deep hibernation), and it was Detta who was particularly fond of that line, which expressed so much of the Negro's deep-held disdain for and suspicion of what was sometimes called "the finer post-war Negro education. " Not to Morehouse orno house; I know what I know, in other words, I heard it through the grapevine, I got it on the earie, dearie, I picked it up on the jungle telegraph.
"Mia," she said now. "Whose chap is it besides yours? What demon was his father, do you know?"
Mia grinned. It wasn't a grin Susannah liked. There was too much Detta in it; too much laughing, bitter knowledge. "Aye, lady, I know. And you're right. It was a demon got him on you, a very great demon indeed, say true! A human one! It had to have been so, for know you that true demons, those left on the shore of these worlds which spin around the Tower when thePrim receded, are sterile. And for a very good reason. "
"Then how - "
"Your dinh is the father of my chap," Mia said. "Roland of Gilead, aye, he. Steven Deschain finally has his grandson, although he lies rotten in his grave and knows it not. "
Susannah was goggling at her, unmindful of the cold wind rushing out of the Discordia wilderness. "Roland. . . ?It can't be! He was beside me when the demon wasin me, he was pulling Jake through from the house on Dutch Hill and fucking was thelast thing on his mind. . . " She trailed off, thinking of the baby she'd seen in the Dogan. Thinking of those eyes. Those blue bombardier's eyes. No. No, I refuse to believe it.
"All the same, Roland is his father," Mia insisted. "And when the chap comes, I shall name him from your own mind, Susannah of New York; from what you learned at the same time you learned of merlons and courtyards and tre-bouchets and barbicans. Why not? 'Tis a good name, and fair. "
Professor Murray's Introduction to Medieval History, that's what she's talking about.
"I will name him Mordred," said she. "He'll grow quickly, my darling boy, quicker than human, after his demon nature. He'll grow strong. The avatar of every gunslinger that ever was. And so, like the Mordred of your tale, will he slay his father. "
And with that, Mia, daughter of none, raised her arms to the star-shot sky and screamed, although whether in sorrow, terror, or joy, Susannah could not tell.
Two
"Hunker," Mia said. "I have this. "
From beneath her serape she produced a bundle of grapes and a paper sack filled with orange pokeberries as swollen as her belly. Where, Susannah wondered, had the fruit come from? Was their shared body sleepwalking back in the Plaza - Park Hotel? Had there perhaps been a fruit basket she hadn't noticed? Or were these the fruits of pure imagination?
Not that it mattered. Any appetite she might have had was gone, robbed by Mia's claim. The fact that it was impossible somehow only added to the monstrosity of the idea. And she couldn't stop thinking of the baby she'd seenin utero on one of those TV screens. Those blue eyes.
No. It can't be, do you hear? Itcannot be!
The wind coming through the notches between the merlons was chilling her to the bone. She swung off the seat of the cart and settled herself against the allure wall beside Mia, listening to the wind's constant whine and looking up at the alien stars.
Mia was cramming her mouth with grapes. Juice ran from one corner of her mouth while she spat seeds from the other corner with the rapidity of machine-gun bullets. She swallowed, wiped her chin, and said: "It can. It can be. And more: it is. Are you still glad you came, Susannah of New York, or do you wish you'd left your curiosity unsatisfied?"
"If I'm gonna have a baby I didn't hump for, I'm gonna know everything about that baby that I can. Do you understand that?"
Mia blinked at the deliberate crudity, then nodded. "If you like. "
"Tell me how it can be Roland's. And if you want me to believe anything you tell me, you better start by making me believe this. "
Mia dug her fingernails into the skin of a pokeberry, stripped it away in one quick gesture, and ate the fruit down greedily. She considered opening another, then simply rolled it between her palms (those disconcertingly white palms), warming it. After enough of this, Susannah knew, the fruit would split its skin on its own. Then she began.
Three
"How many Beams do there be, Susannah of New York?"
"Six," Susannah said. "At least, there were. I guess now there are only two that - "
Mia waved a hand impatiently, as if to sayDon't waste my time. "Six, aye. And when the Beams were created out of that greater Discordia, the soup of creation some (including the Manni) call the Over and some call thePrim, what made them?"
"I don't know," Susannah said. "Was it God, do you think?"
"Perhaps there is a God, but the Beams rose from thePrim on the airs of magic, Susannah, the true magic which passed long ago. Was it God that made magic, or was it magic that made God? I know not. It's a question for philosophers, and mothering's my job. But once upon a time all was Discordia and from it, strong and all crossing at a single unifying point, came the six Beams. There was magic to hold them steady for eternity, but when the magic left from all there is but the Dark Tower, which some have called Can Calyx, the Hall of Resumption, men despaired. When the Age of Magic passed, the Age of Machines came. "
"North Central Positronics," Susannah murmured. "Dipolar computers. Slo-trans engines. " She paused. "Blaine the Mono. But not in our world. "
"No? Do you say your world is exempt? What about the sign in the hotel lobby?" The pokeberry popped. Mia stripped it and gobbled it, dr
izzling juice through a knowing grin.
"I had an idea you couldn't read," Susannah said. This was beside the point, but it was all she could think of to say. Her mind kept returning to the image of the baby; to those brilliant blue eyes. Gunslinger's eyes.
"Aye, but I know my numbers, and when it comes to your mind, I read very well. Do you say you don't recall the sign in the hotel lobby? Will you tell me that?"
Of course she remembered. According to the sign, the Plaza - Park would be part of an organization called Sombra/North Central in just another month. And when she'd saidNot in our world, of course she had been thinking of 1964 - the world of black-and-white television, absurdly bulky room-sized computers, and Alabama cops more than willing to sic the dogs on black marchers for voting rights. Things had changed greatly in the intervening thirty-five years. The Eurasian desk clerk's combination TV and typewriter, for instance - how did Susannah know that wasn't a dipolar computer run by some form of slo-trans engine? She did not.
"Go on," she told Mia.
Mia shrugged. "You doom yourselves, Susannah. You seem positively bent on it, and the root is always the same: your faith fails you, and you replace it with rational thought. But there is no love in thought, nothing that lasts in deduction, only death in rationalism. "
"What does this have to do with your chap?"
"I don't know. There's much I don't know. " She raised a hand, forestalling Susannah before Susannah could speak. "And no, I'mnot playing for time, or trying to lead you away from what you'd know; I'm speaking as my heart tells me. Would you hear or not?"
Susannah nodded. She'd hear this. . . for a little longer, at least. But if it didn't turn back to the baby soon, she'd turn it back in that direction herself.
"The magic went away. Maerlyn retired to his cave in one world, the sword of Eld gave way to the pistols of the gunslingers in another, and the magic went away. And across the arc of years, great alchemists, great scientists, and great - what? - technicians, I think? Great men of thought, anyway, that's what I mean, great men ofdeduction - these came together and created the machines which ran the Beams. They were great machines but they weremortal machines. They replaced themagic withmachines, do ya kennit, and now the machines are failing. In some worlds, great plagues have decimated whole populations. "
Susannah nodded. "We saw one of those," she said quietly. "They called it the superflu. "
"The Crimson King's Breakers are only hurrying along a process that's already in train. The machines are going mad. You've seen this for yourself. The men believed there would always be more men like them to make more machines. None of them foresaw what's happened. This. . . this universal exhaustion. "
"The world has moved on. "
"Aye, lady. It has. And left no one to replace the machines which hold up the last magic in creation, for thePrim has receded long since. The magic is gone and the machines are failing. Soon enough the Dark Tower will fall. Perhaps there'll be time for one splendid moment of universal rational thought before the darkness rules forever. Wouldn't that be nice?"
"Won't the Crimson King be destroyed, too, when the Tower falls? Him and all his crew? The guys with the bleeding holes in their foreheads?"
"He has been promised his own kingdom, where he'll rule forever, tasting his own special pleasures. " Distaste had crept into Mia's voice. Fear, too, perhaps.
"Promised? Promised by whom? Who is more powerful than he?"
"Lady, I know not. Perhaps this is only what he has promised himself. " Mia shrugged. Her eyes wouldn't quite meet Susannah's.
"Can nothing prevent the fall of the Tower?"
"Not even your gunslinger friend hopes toprevent it," Mia said, "only to slow it down by freeing the Breakers and - perhaps - slaying the Crimson King. Save it!Save it, O delight! Did he ever tell you that was his quest?"
Susannah considered this and shook her head. If Roland had ever said that, in so many words, she couldn't remember. And she was sure she would have.
"No," Mia went on, "for he won't lie to his ka-tet unless he has to, 'tis his pride. What he wants of the Tower is only tosee it. " Then she added, rather grudgingly: "Oh, perhaps to enter it, and climb to the room at the top, his ambition may strike so far. He may dream of standing on its allure as we hunker on this one, and chant the names of his fallen comrades, and of his line all the way back to Arthur Eld. Butsave it? No, good lady! Only a return of the magic could possibly save it, and - as you yourself well know - your dinh deals only in lead. "
Never since crossing the worlds had Susannah heard Roland's trade of hand cast in such a paltry light. It made her feel sad and angry, but she hid her feelings as best she could.
"Tell me how your chap can be Roland's son, for I would hear. "
"Aye, 'tis a good trick, but one the old people of River Crossing could have explained to you, I've no doubt. "
Susannah started at that. "How do you know somuch of me?"
"Because you are possessed," Mia said, "and I am your possessor, sure. I can look through any of your memories that I like. I can read what your eyes see. Now be quiet and listen if you would learn, for I sense our time has grown short. "
Four
This is what Susannah's demon told her.
"There are six Beams, as you did say, but there are twelve Guardians, one for each end of each Beam. This - for we're still on it - is the Beam of Shardik. Were you to go beyond the Tower, it would become the Beam of Maturin, the great turtle upon whose shell the world rests.
"Similarly, there are but six demon elementals, one for each Beam. Below them is the whole invisible world, those creatures left behind on the beach of existence when thePrim receded. There are speaking demons, demons of house which some call ghosts, ill-sick demons which some - makers of machines and worshippers of the great false god rationality, if it does ya - call disease. Many small demons but only six demon elementals. Yet as there are twelve Guardians for the six Beams, there are twelve demonaspects, for each demon elemental is both male and female. "
Susannah began to see where this was going, and felt a sudden sinking in her guts. From the naked bristle of rocks beyond the allure, in what Mia called the Discordia, there came a dry, feverish cackle of laughter. This unseen humorist was joined by a second, a third, a fourth and fifth. Suddenly it seemed that the whole world was laughing at her. And perhaps with good reason, for it was a good joke. But how could she have known?
As the hyenas - or whatever they were - cackled, she said: "You're telling me that the demon elementals are hermaphrodites. That's why they're sterile, because they're both. "
"Aye. In the place of the Oracle, your dinh had intercourse with one of these demon elementals in order to gain information, what's calledprophecy in the High Speech. He had no reason to think the Oracle was anything but a succubus, such as those that sometimes exist in the lonely places - "
"Right," Susannah said, "just a run-of-the-mill demon sexpot. "
"If you like," Mia said, and this time when she offered Susannah a pokeberry, Susannah took it and began to roll it between her palms, warming the skin. She still wasn't hungry, but her mouth was dry. So dry.
"The demon took the gunslinger's seed as female, and gave it back to you as male. "
"When we were in the speaking ring," Susannah said dismally. She was remembering how the pouring rain had pounded against her upturned face, the sense of invisible hands on her shoulders, and then the thing's engorgement filling her up and at the same time seeming to tear her apart. The worst part had been the coldness of the enormous cock inside her. At the time, she'd thought it was like being fucked by an icicle.
And how had she gotten through it? By summoning Detta, of course. By calling on the bitch, victor in a hundred nasty little sex-skirmishes fought in the parking lots of two dozen roadhouses and county-line honky-tonks. Detta, who had trapped it -
"It tried to get away," she told Mia. "Once it figured out it had its coc
k caught in a damn Chinese finger-puller, it tried to get away. "
"If it had wanted to get away," Mia said quietly, "itwould have. "
"Why would it bother fooling me?" Susannah asked, but she didn't need Mia to answer that question, not now. Because it had needed her, of course. It had needed her to carry the baby.
Roland'sbaby.
Roland's doom.
"You know everything you need to know about the chap," Mia said. "Don't you?"
Susannah supposed she did. A demon had taken in Roland's seed while female; had stored it, somehow; and then shot it into Susannah Dean as male. Mia was right. She knew what she needed to know.
"I've kept my promise," Mia said. "Let's go back. The cold's not good for the chap. "
"Just a minute longer," Susannah said. She held up the pokeberry. Golden fruit now bulged through ruptures in the orange skin. "My berry just popped. Let me eat it. I have another question. "
"Eat and ask and be quick about both. "
"Who areyou ? Who are you really? Are you this demon? Does she have a name, by the way? She and he, do they have a name?"
"No," Mia said. "Elementals have no need of names; they are what they are. Am I a demon? Is that what you'd know? Yar, I suppose I am. Or I was. All that is vague now, like a dream. "
"And you're not me. . . or are you?"
Mia didn't answer. And Susannah realized that she probably didn't know.
"Mia?" Low. Musing.
Mia was hunkering against the merlon with her serape tucked between her knees. Susannah could see that her ankles were swollen and felt a moment's pity for the woman. Then she squashed it. This was no time for pity, for there was no truth in it.
"You ain't nothing but the baby-sitter, girl. "
The reaction was all she'd hoped for, and more. Mia's face registered shock, then anger. Hell,fury. "Youlie! I'm this chap'smother! And when he comes, Susannah, there will be no more combing the world for Breakers, for my chap will be the greatest of them all, able to break both of the remaining Beams all by himself!" Her voice had filled with pride that sounded alarmingly close to insanity. "My Mordred! Do you hear me?"
"Oh, yes," Susannah said. "I hear. And you're actually going to go trotting right to those who've made it their business to pull down the Tower, aren't you? They call, you come. " She paused, then finished with deliberate softness. "And when you get to them, they'll take your chap, and thank you very much, and then send you back into the soup you came from. "
"Nay! I shall have the raising of him, for so they have promised!" Mia crossed her arms protectively over her belly. "He's mine, I'm his mother and I shall have the raising of him!"
"Girl, why don't you getreal? Do you think they'llkeep their word?Them? How can you see so much and not see that?"
Susannah knew the answer, of course. Motherhood itself had deluded her.
"Why would they not let me raise him?" Mia asked shrilly. "Who better? Who better than Mia, who was made for only two things, to bear a son and raise him?"
"But you're not just you," Susannah said. "You're like the children of the Calla, and just about everything else my friends and I have run into along the way. You're atwin, Mia! I'm your other half, your lifeline. You see the world through my eyes and breathe through my lungs. I had to carry the chap, because you couldn't, could you? You're as sterile as the big boys. And once they've got your kid, their A-bomb of a Breaker, they'll get rid of you if only so they can get rid of me. "
"I have their promise," she said. Her face was downcast, set in its stubbornness.
"Turn it around," Susannah said. "Turn it around, I beg. If I were in your place and you in mine, what would you think if I spoke of such a promise?"
"I'd tell you to stop your blabbering tongue!"
"Who are you, really? Where in the hell did they get you? Was it like a newspaper ad you answered, 'Surrogate Mother Wanted, Good Benefits, Short Term of Employment'? Who are you, really?"
"Shut up!"
Susannah leaned forward on her haunches. This position was ordinarily exquisitely uncomfortable for her, but she'd forgotten both her discomfort and the half-eaten pokeberry in her hand.
"Come on!" she said, her voice taking on the rasping tones of Detta Walker. "Come on and take off yo' blindfold, honeybunch, jus' like you made me take off mine! Tell the truth and spit in the devil's eye!Who the fuck are you? "
"I don't know!"Mia screamed, and below them the jackals hidden in the rocks screamed back, only their screams were laughter. "I don't know, I don't know who I am, does that satisfy?"
It did not, and Susannah was about to press on and press harder when Detta Walker spoke up.
Five
This is what Susannah's other demon told her.
Baby-doll, you need to think bout this a little, seem to me. Shecain't, she stone dumb, cain't read, cain't cipher more than just a little, ain't been to Morehouse, ain't been to nohouse, but youhave, Miss Oh-Detta Holmes been to Co - lum-bee-ya, lah-de-dah, de Gem ob de Ocean, ain't we jus' so fine.
You need to think bout how she pregnant, for one thing. She say she done fucked Roland out of his jizz, then turn male, into the Demon of the Ring, and shot it into you, and den you carryin it, you tossin all those nasty things she made you eat down yo' throat, so whereshein all this now, dat what Detta like to know. How come shesettin there pregnant under dat greaser blanket she wearin? Is it more of dat. . . what you call it. . . visualization technique?
Susannah didn't know. She only knew that Mia was looking at her with suddenly narrowed eyes. She was doubtless picking up some of this monologue. How much? Not much at all, that was Susannah's bet; maybe a word here and there, but mostly it was just quack. And in any case, Mia certainlyacted like the baby's mother. Baby Mordred! It was like a Charles Addams cartoon.
Dat she do,Detta mused. She acklike a Mommy, she wrapped around it root and branch, you right bout dat much.
But maybe, Susannah thought, that was just her nature. Maybe once you got beyond the mothering instinct, therewas no Mia.
A cold hand reached out and seized Susannah's wrist. "Who is it? Is it that nasty-talking one? If it is, banish her. She scares me. "
She still scared Susannah a little, in all truth, but not as much as when she'd first come to accept that Detta was real. They hadn't become friends and probably never would, but it was clear that Detta Walker could be a powerful ally. She was more than mean. Once you got past the idiotic Butterfly McQueen accent, she was shrewd.
Dis Mia make a mighty pow'ful ally her ownself, if you c'd get her on yo' side. Ain't hardly nothin in the world as pow'ful as a pissed-off Mommy.
"We're going back," Mia said. "I've answered your questions, the cold's bad for the baby, and the mean one's here. Palaver's done. "
But Susannah shook off her grip and moved back a little, out of Mia's immediate reach. In the gap between the merlons the cold wind knifed through her light shirt, but it also seemed to clear her mind and refresh her thinking.
Part of her is me, because she has access to my memories. Eddie's ring, the people of River Crossing, Blaine the Mono. But she's got to bemorethan me as well, because. . . because. . .
Go on, girl, you ain't doin bad, but youslow.
Because she knows all thisotherstuff, as well. She knows about the demons, both the little ones and the elementals. She knows how the Beams came into being - sort of - and about this magical soup of creation, the Prim. As far as I ever knew, prim's a word you use for girls who are always yanking their skirts down over their knees. She didn't get that other meaning from me.
It occurred to her what this conversation was like: parents studying their new baby. Their new chap. He's got your nose, Yes but he's gotyour eyes, and But my goodness,where did he get that hair?
Detta said:And she also got friens back in New York, don't forget dat. Least she want to thinkthey her friens.
So she's someone or something else, as w
ell. Someone from the invisible world of house demons and ill-sicks. But who? Is she really one of the elementals?
Detta laughed. She say so, but she lyin bout dat, sugar! I know she is!
Then what is she? Whatwasshe, before she was Mia?
All at once a phone, amplified to almost ear-splitting shrillness, began to ring. It was so out of place on this abandoned castle tower that at first Susannah didn't know what it was. The things out there in the Discordia - jackals, hyenas, whatever they were - had been subsiding, but with the advent of this sound they began to cackle and shriek again.
Mia, daughter of none, mother of Mordred, knew that ringing for what it was immediately, however. Shecame forward. Susannah at once felt this world waver and lose its reality. It seemed almost to freeze and become something like a painting. Not a very good one, either.
"No!" she shouted, and threw herself at Mia.
But Mia - pregnant or not, scratched up or not, swollen ankles or no swollen ankles - overpowered her easily. Roland had shown them several hand-to-hand tricks (the Detta part of her had crowed with delight at the nastiness of them), but they were useless against Mia; she parried each before Susannah had done more than get started.
Sure, yes, of course, she knows your tricks just like she knows about Aunt Talitha in River Crossing and Topsy the Sailor in Lud, because she has access to your memories, because she is, at least to some extent,you -
And here her thoughts ended, because Mia had twisted her arms up behind her and oh dear God the pain was enormous.
Ain't you just the most babyish cunt,Detta said with a kind of genial, panting contempt, and before Susannah could reply, an amazing thing happened: the world ripped open like a brittle piece of paper. This rip extended from the dirty cobbles of the allure's floor to the nearest merlon and then on up into the sky. It raced into that star-shot firmament and tore the crescent moon in two.
There was a moment for Susannah to think that this was it, one or both of the final two Beams had snapped and the Tower had fallen. Then, through the rip, she saw two women lying on one of the twin beds in room 1919 of the Plaza - Park Hotel. Their arms were around each other and their eyes were shut. They were dressed in identical bloodstained shirts and bluejeans. Their features were the same, but one had legs below the knee and straight silky hair and white skin.
"Don't you mess with me!" Mia panted in her ear. Susannah could feel a fine, tickling spray of saliva. "Don't you mess with me or with my chap. Because I'm stronger, do you hear?I'm stronger! "
There was no doubt about that, Susannah thought as she was propelled toward the widening hole. At least for now.
She was pushed through the rip in reality. For a moment her skin seemed simultaneously on fire and coated with ice. Somewhere the todash chimes were ringing, and then -
Six
- she sat up on the bed. One woman, not two, but at least one with legs. Susannah was shoved, reeling, to the back. Mia in charge now. Mia reaching for the phone, at first getting it wrong-way-up and then reversing it.
"Hello? Hello!"
"Hello, Mia. My name is - "
She overrode him. "Are you going to let me keep my baby? This bitch inside me says you're not!"
There was a pause, first long and then too long. Susannah felt Mia's fear, first a rivulet and then a flood. You don't have to feel that way, she tried to tell her. You're the one with what they want, with what they need,don't you see that?
"Hello, are you there? Gods,are you there? PLEASE TELL ME YOU'RE STILL THERE! "
"I'm here," the man's voice said calmly. "Shall we start again, Mia, daughter of none? Or shall I ring off until you're feeling. . . a little more yourself?"
"No! No, don't do that, don't do that I beg!"
"You won't interrupt me again? Because there's no reason for unseemliness. "
"I promise!"
"My name is Richard P. Sayre. " A name Susannah knew, but from where? "You know where you need to go, don't you?"
"Yes!" Eager now. Eager to please. "The Dixie Pig, Sixty-first and Lexingworth. "
"Lexington," Sayre said. "Odetta Holmes can help you find it, I'm sure. "
Susannah wanted to screamThat's not my name! She kept silent instead. This Sayre would like her to scream, wouldn't he? Would like her to lose control.
"Are you there, Odetta?" Pleasantly teasing. "Are you there, you interfering bitch?"
She kept silent.
"She's in there," Mia said. "I don't know why she's not answering, I'm not holding her just now. "
"Oh, I thinkI know why," Sayre said indulgently. "She doesn't like that name, for one thing. " Then, in a reference Susannah didn't get: " 'Don't call me Clay no more, Clay my slave name, call me Muhammad Ali!' Right, Susannah? Or was that after your time? A little after, I think. Sorry. Time can be so confusing, can't it? Never mind. I have something to tell you in a minute, my dear. You won't like it very much, I fear, but I think you should know. "
Susannah kept silent. It was getting harder.
"As for the immediate future of your chap, Mia, I'm surprised you'd even feel it necessary to ask," Sayre told her. He was a smoothie, whoever he was, his voice containing exactly the right amount of outrage. "The King keeps his promises, unlike some I could name. And, issues of our integrity aside, think of thepractical issues! Who else should have the keeping of perhaps the most important child to ever be born. . . includingChrist,including Buddha,including the Prophet Muhammad? To who else's breast, if I may be crude, would we trust his suck?"
Music to her ears,Susannah thought dismally. All the things she's been thirsting to hear. And why? Because she is Mother.
"You'd trust him to me!" Mia cried. "Only to me, of course! Thank you!Thank you!"
Susannah spoke at last. Toldher not to trusthim. And was, of course, roundly ignored.
"I'd no more lie to you than break a promise to my own mother," said the voice on the phone. (Did you ever have one, sugar?Detta wanted to know. ) "Even though the truth sometimes hurts, lies have a way of coming back to bite us, don't they? The truth of this matter is you won't have your chap for long, Mia, his childhood won't be like that of other children, normal children - "
"I know! Oh, I know!"
" - but for the five years youdo have him. . . or perhaps seven, it might be as many as seven. . . he'll have the best of everything. From you, of course, but also from us. Our interference will be minimal - "
Detta Walker leaped forward, as quick and as nasty as a grease-burn. She was only able to take possession of Susannah Dean's vocal cords for a moment, but it was aprecious moment.
"Dass raht, dahlin, dass raht," she cackled, "he won't come in yo' mouf or get it in you' hair!"
"Shut that bitch UP!"Sayre whipcracked, and Susannah felt the jolt as Mia shoved Detta head over heels - but still cackling - to the back of their shared mind again. Once more into the brig.
Had mah say, though, damn if I didn't!Detta cried. Ah tolethat honky muhfuh!
Sayre's voice in the telephone's earpiece was cold and clear. "Mia, do you have control or not?"
"Yes! Yes, I do!"
"Then don't let that happen again. "
"I won't!"
And somewhere - it felt like above her, although there were no real directions here at the back of the shared mind - something clanged shut. It sounded like iron.
We reallyarein the brig, she told Detta, but Detta just went on laughing.
Susannah thought:I'm pretty sure I know who she is, anyway. Besides me, that is. This truth seemed obvious to her. The part of Mia that wasn't either Susannah or something summoned from the void world to do the Crimson King's bidding. . . surely the third part really was the Oracle, elemental or not; the female force that had at first tried to molest Jake and then had taken Roland, instead. That sad, craving spirit. She finally had the body she needed. One capable of carrying the chap.
"Odetta?" Sayre's voice, teasing and
cruel. "Or Susannah, if you like that better? I promised you news, didn't I? It's kind of a good news - bad news thing, I'm afraid. Would you like to hear it?"
Susannah held her silence.
"The bad news is that Mia's chap may not be able to fulfill the destiny of his name by killing his father, after all. The good news is that Roland will almost surely be dead in the next few minutes. As for Eddie, I'm afraid there's no question. He doesn't have either your dinh's reflexes or his battle experience. My dear, you're going to be a widow very soon. That's the bad news. "
She could hold her silence no longer, and Mia let her speak. "You lie! Abouteverything! "
"Not at all," Sayre said calmly, and Susannah realized where she knew that name from: the end of Callahan's story. Detroit. Where he'd violated his church's most sacred teaching and committed suicide to keep from falling into the hands of the vampires. Callahan had jumped out of a skyscraper window to avoid that particular fate. He had landed first in Mid-World, and gone from there, via the Unfound Door, into the Calla Borderlands. And what he'd been thinking, the Pere had told them, wasThey don't get to win, they don't get to win. And he was right about that,right, goddammit. But if Eddie died -
"We knew where your dinh and your husband would be most likely to end up, should they be swept through a certain doorway," Sayre told her. "And calling certain people, beginning with a chap named Enrico Balazar. . . I assure you, Susannah, that waseasy. "
Susannah heard the sincerity in his voice. If he didn't mean what he said, then he was the world's best liar.
"How could you find such a thing out?" Susannah asked. When there was no answer she opened her mouth to ask the question again. Before she could, she was tumbled backward once more. Whatever Mia might have been once, she had grown to incredible strength inside Susannah.
"Is she gone?" Sayre was asking.
"Yes, gone, in the back. " Servile. Eager to please.
"Then come to us, Mia. The sooner you come to us, the sooner you can look your chap in the face!"
"Yes!" Mia cried, delirious with joy, and Susannah caught a sudden brilliant glimpse of something. It was like peeking beneath the hem of a circus tent at some bright wonder. Or a dark one.
What she saw was as simple as it was terrible: Pere Callahan, buying a piece of salami from a shopkeeper. AYankee shopkeeper. One who ran a certain general store in the town of East Stoneham, Maine, in the year of 1977. Callahan had told them all this story in the rectory. . . and Mia had been listening.
Comprehension came like a red sun rising on a field where thousands have been slaughtered. Susannah rushed forward again, unmindful of Mia's strength, screaming it over and over again:
"Bitch! Betraying bitch! Murdering bitch! You told them where the Door would send them! Where it would send Eddie and Roland! Oh youBITCH!"
Seven
Mia was strong, but unprepared for this new attack. It was especially ferocious because Detta had joined her own murderous energy to Susannah's understanding. For a moment the interloper was pushed backward, eyes wide. In the hotel room, the telephone dropped from Mia's hand. She staggered drunkenly across the carpet, almost tripped over one of the beds, then whirled about like a tipsy dancer. Susannah slapped at her and red marks appeared on her cheek like exclamation points.
Slapping myself, that's all I'm doing,Susannah thought. Beating up the equipment, how stupid is that? But she couldn't help it. The enormity of what Mia had done, the betrayingenormity -
Inside, in some battle-ring which was not quite physical (but not entirely mental, either), Mia was finally able to clutch Susannah/Detta by the throat and drive her back. Mia's eyes were still wide with shock at the ferocity of the assault. And perhaps with shame, as well. Susannah hoped she was able to feel shame, that she hadn't gone beyond that.
I did what I had to do,Mia repeated as she forced Susannah back into the brig. It's my chap, every hand is against me, I did what I had to do.
You traded Eddie and Roland for your monster, that's what you did!Susannah screamed. Based on what you overheard and then passed on, Sayre was sure they'd use the Door to go after Tower, wasn't he? And how many has he set against them?
The only answer was that iron clang. Only this time it was followed by a second. And a third. Mia had had the hands of her hostess clamped around her throat and was consequently taking no chances. This time the brig's door had been triple-locked. Brig? Hell, might as well call it the Black Hole of Calcutta.
When I get out of here, I'll go back to the Dogan and disable all the switches!she cried. I can't believe I tried to help you! Well, fuck that! Have it on the street, for all of me!
Youcan'tget out, Mia replied, almost apologetically. Later, if I can, I'll leave you in peace -
What kind of peace will there be for me with Eddie dead? No wonder you wanted to take his ring off! How could you bear to have it lie against your skin, knowing what you'd done?
Mia picked up the telephone and listened, but Richard P. Sayre was no longer there. Probably had places to go and diseases to spread, Susannah thought.
Mia replaced the telephone in its cradle, looked around at the empty, sterile room the way people do when they won't be coming back to a place and want to make sure they've taken everything that matters. She patted one pocket of her jeans and felt the little wad of cash. Touched the other and felt the lump that was the turtle, thesk?ldpadda.
I'm sorry,Mia said. I have to take care of my chap. Every hand is against me now.
That's not true,Susannah said from the locked room where Mia had thrown her. And where was it, really? In the deepest, darkest dungeons of the Castle on the Abyss? Probably. Did it matter?I was on your side. I helped you. I stopped your damn labor when you needed it stopped. And look what you did. How could you ever be so cowardly and low?
Mia paused with her hand on the room's doorknob, her cheeks flushing a dull red. Yes, she was ashamed, all right. But shame wouldn't stop her. Nothing would stop her. Until, that was, she found herself betrayed in turn by Sayre and his friends.
Thinking of that inevitability gave Susannah no satisfaction at all.
You're damned,she said. You know that, don't you?
"I don't care," Mia said. "An eternity in hell's a fair price to pay for one look in my chap's face. Hear me well, I beg. "
And then, carrying Susannah and Detta with her, Mia opened the hotel room door, re-entered the corridor, and took her first steps on her course toward the Dixie Pig, where terrible surgeons waited to deliver her of her equally terrible chap.
STAVE: Commala-mox-nix!
You're in a nasty fix!
To take the hand in a traitor's glove
Is to grasp a sheaf of sticks!
RESPONSE: Commala-come-six!
Nothing there but thorns and sticks!
When you find your hand in a traitor's glove
You're in a nasty fix.