Page 23 of Letting Go


  “Yes to all of that. Do you want to go?”

  “Of course I want to go!” I kissed him roughly and pushed off him so I could run back up the two steps we’d made it down. Just before I hit the bathroom, I whirled around to find him behind me, and launched myself into his arms. “You’re amazing. I love my ring. I love the way you asked. I love the note. I love you. This morning has been incredible and more than I could’ve ever asked for. Thank you for asking me, and thank you for knowing I would want to share this with all of them.”

  “Thank you for saying yes.” He kissed the side of my head and released me. “Now go get ready.”

  I squealed and ran into the bathroom to freshen up and get ready. Calling Jagger in there, I made him take a picture of my arms before I jumped in the shower to clean off the charcoal. When Jagger stepped into the shower behind me minutes later, I quickly forgot about Wake, our family and friends, and everything else except for Jagger, how in love with him I was, and how he felt against me and inside of me. My legs were wrapped around his waist and my back was pressed to the cool tile of the shower wall while hot water pelted down on us and Jagger moved slowly and easily inside me. The differences in temperature and the feel of his body were an exhilarating combination, and I gripped at his shoulders like only the touch of him under my fingertips could keep me tied to this earth and this moment.

  Jagger unwrapped my legs from his body and we stumbled out of the shower and bathroom, and over to the bed. We’d barely landed on the bed before Jagger was pressing his thick length inside me again, and I fused our mouths together to quiet my moans as our slick bodies moved against each other and he quickly brought me to the edge. He hooked one of his arms under my leg, and my mouth left his as my thigh slid up near his shoulder when he steadied himself on the bed with the same arm, and began moving faster and deeper.

  My stomach heated and tightened in eager anticipation for what was coming, and my eyes locked with Jagger’s when he reached down with his other hand and ran his fingers over my aching clit. My mouth opened on a soundless moan as my body shattered around him, and minutes later he came with a deep groan, his arms shaking as he tried to keep himself above me before finally lying down on top of me.

  Our chests moved roughly against each other as we lay there, and I lightly ran the tips of my fingers over his back to keep him there when he started moving away. I wasn’t ready to let go of him yet. Once we both calmed our breathing, he brushed his mouth across mine as he pushed off me and rolled over onto his back.

  “Now you can get ready.”

  I smiled and rolled my head to the side to look at him. “Best reason for being late . . . ever.”

  “Let’s just not tell your dad.”

  I laughed and pushed at his arm as I climbed off the bed and walked back into the bathroom to fix my hair and put on a touch of makeup. Hurrying into the closet, I put on a bra and underwear, and was stepping into my shorts as I walked back out. My eyes hit the bed just as I started to put my arms into the shirt, and for the umpteenth time in the hour I’d been awake, my heart melted at what I saw in the center of the bed. I shrugged quickly into my shirt and walked over to run my fingers across the outside of the large frame.

  Inside was a large, thick paper with a charcoal-drawn replica of the mass of papers downstairs. In the bottom corner of the frame was the note Jagger had given me on the stairs.

  I turned to see Jagger and reached out for him. He grabbed my hand and kissed my palm before wrapping me in his arms. “Thought you might want to keep it, and what’s downstairs is way too big and complicated.”

  “I do, thank you.

  “No need to thank me.” Releasing his hold on me, he grabbed my hand and pulled me toward the stairs. “You ready?”

  I looked at the man in front of me and wondered what I’d done to deserve anyone like him. I couldn’t wait to start my life with him. “I’ve never been more ready for anything in my life, Jagger Easton.”

  Chapter 17

  Grey

  September 27, 2014

  I WALKED AROUND the shop part of The Brew, talking with a few customers and seeing if anyone needed a refill, but the entire time, an annoying feeling kept nagging me. It had my neck tingling and a weird chill going through my spine. My eyes were everywhere as I walked, and only stayed on the customers for a few seconds before I was looking somewhere else. Just before I turned to go back behind the counter, I saw her standing at the end of a book aisle.

  Mrs. Easton nodded at me once and waved me over, and I took careful steps toward her. I hadn’t seen her in the almost month and a half since I’d given her the check, and something about her being here didn’t feel right.

  “Hey, Mrs. Easton,” I said cautiously when I got closer to her. “How are you?”

  “I’m okay, but I needed to see you.”

  I laughed once and gestured around the shop. “Well, you obviously know where to find me.” If we’d lived anywhere other than Thatch, it would bother me that she knew where I worked, or when I was working. But this was Thatch. Everyone knew pretty much everything about everyone all the time. It was hard to keep a secret here.

  “Yeah, well . . .” She trailed off and gave me an odd smile. “Honey, I need more.”

  “More what?” I knew what she was talking about; I just wanted to avoid the subject and wished I hadn’t walked over to her in the first place.

  I’d been agonizing over our last encounter, even more now that Jagger and I were engaged. Talking with Graham about it had helped remind me why I’d kept it from Jagger in the first place, but it was hard to remember as days went by, and all I could think about was the fact that I’d kept something so important from the man I was going to marry.

  “Money, Grey. Two . . . three thousand, at least.”

  The air in my lungs rushed out quickly, and I gave her an incredulous look. “I don’t have that kind of money . . . I can’t afford to give you any money, Mrs. Easton. Didn’t you find a job yet? Maybe I can help you look for somewhere to work.”

  “You’re marrying my son, I know you have money,” she hissed, and I took a step back, my eyes and mouth widening with shock. I’d never heard her speak in any way other than her signature everything-is-made-of-love tone.

  “How did you know?” Mrs. Easton hadn’t been at our celebration breakfast last week, and unless Jagger had seen her while I was at work, he hadn’t gone to her house while she was there, or even said anything about her this whole time.

  “Do you really think I wouldn’t find out if one of my children got engaged?” She clucked her tongue and gave me a patronizing look. “Oh, honey, that’s cute. Really. But there isn’t much about them that I don’t know.”

  “Look, I’m sorry, but I can’t help you and I need to finish the rest of my shift.”

  I’d barely turned when she grabbed my arm and brought me back so I was facing her. “I know you have—”

  “Jagger and I don’t share accounts, Mrs. Easton! I’m sorry, but I can’t help you!”

  Her grip tightened like she knew I was preparing to make another attempt to leave. “If you don’t want to ruin my son’s life, you will give me what I need.”

  “Ruin his life? There’s no way I would ever do anything to ruin him. I think you need to leave.”

  “I wouldn’t be so sure of that. I know something that would ensure my son’s devastation. Now if you don’t want this little secret getting out, I suggest you give me the money.”

  “I have no secrets from Jagger!” I whispered harshly, and turned my head to see if anyone was watching us. “Other than giving you that money, there is nothing about me that he doesn’t already know.”

  “It has nothing to do with you. This is all on my son.”

  My stomach churned and I stopped breathing for a few seconds. “W-what—” I cleared my throat and looked around again. “What ‘little secret’ about Jagger are you talking about?”

  “That’s for me to know; but if he finds out about it, t
hen—”

  “Wait, what? What do you know that he doesn’t? How could you have something on him that he doesn’t even know?”

  “Like I said, that’s for me to know.” Her anger was rapidly escalating, and I was still in shock seeing this spiteful and vicious side of her.

  “You don’t have anything on him. Just like you don’t have anything on me. I don’t have money for you, and once again, you need to leave.”

  I hadn’t gone more than two steps before she sneered, “It’s just great that you’re making sure his kid is going to starve.”

  I came to a stop and stood there staring ahead of me before looking back at her. “What did you just say?”

  “If you loved my son the way you say you do, you wouldn’t make his son go hungry because you refused to give him the money Jagger owes him as a father.”

  My throat felt thick. I couldn’t swallow and I wasn’t bringing in air fast enough, or maybe it was too fast. Either way, my body swayed and I grabbed on to the end of another aisle. “What . . . son? What son?”

  “Apparently my kid doesn’t know the meaning of the word ‘protection.’ He knocked LeAnn up over two years ago. But by the time LeAnn came to talk to him, Ben was dead and Jagger was never around because he was too busy taking care of you.”

  This wasn’t happening. Jagger couldn’t have a son, especially not with LeAnn. “You’re lying.”

  “Oh, am I? Why don’t you ask Charlie why I was never pregnant, but I miraculously gave birth to a baby—since she was there the whole time. Why don’t you ask LeAnn why she disappeared that summer and didn’t come back until a few months after the baby was born? Oh, wait, you can’t ask her because you have a restraining order against her. And why is that? Because she’s now regretting that she signed over custody of the child to me, and she’s doing everything to get her family back together—and that includes Jagger.”

  “Oh God,” I whispered, and swallowed back the bile rising in my throat. “No, he can’t—they can’t be the parents. Keith looks just like—” I cut off quickly when I remembered exactly who I’d always thought Keith looked like. A little bit of Jagger with the dark hair, and a little bit of Charlie—who happened to look just like LeAnn—with the same blue eyes, and the full lips that all of the Eastons had. Which was exactly why I’d never questioned that Mrs. Easton was the mother.

  “Now, I’ve been getting close to filing bankruptcy way too many times because I’ve been paying for this child when Jagger should have been, and it’s time he paid for it. So give me what I need, and if Jagger finds out about this, I swear to you I will be gone with that child faster than you can destroy another wedding attempt.”

  My chest ached at her words, and I once again couldn’t understand how she could be so evil. She’d fooled everyone, and I wondered if Jagger knew about this side of her. But I was positive he couldn’t know, he would’ve told me if he had, and I knew for sure then that I had been right in not telling him about his mother. Not because she needed help financially, but because of this ugly side of her personality. I knew it would break Jagger’s heart if he learned about it.

  This was definitely my time to do the protecting. Jagger’s mom needed to be stopped, and I needed to figure out a way to save Keith from her. If he was Jagger’s son, then Jagger deserved to know, and get the chance to raise him. But that chance would never come if Mrs. Easton took off with Keith, and taking off was what she was best at next to finding husbands.

  “I don’t have three thou—”

  “Then give me two, or I’m gone.”

  I wanted to say I didn’t have two, but I was afraid she’d know I was lying—and I was even more terrified that she would make good on her threat. I just need to buy myself time with her. Looking up at her, I tried to compose myself so she wouldn’t know how much this conversation was killing me. “Fine. My shift is almost over. I’ll give you the check when I leave.”

  “You’re a smart girl, Grey.” Without another word, she walked past me and out of the shop. I didn’t move until I heard the door shut. Then, in a fog, I made my way back behind the counter.

  Thankfully there were only about ten minutes left of my shift, no new customers came in, and none of the customers needed anything else, so I was able to slowly pull myself together before I walked outside to see Mrs. Easton again. I’d written the check before leaving the back room, so all I did was hand it to her and then continue the short walk to my car.

  “You did the right thing, honey,” she called after me, but I didn’t respond. I just got into my car and drove to the lake.

  Not getting out of my car, I stared out at our favorite dock and the lake. The sun had turned the water into a sheet of gold, and I stared, mesmerized by it, until the colors began shifting. For the longest time, my only thoughts were of the water, but as I watched the sun set, my mind started drifting to the things I’d been trying so hard to block out.

  Jagger had a son; he was a father and he didn’t even know it. If it weren’t for Mrs. Easton’s threats of taking off with Keith, I didn’t think I’d have been able to keep something of this magnitude from him. I’d already known that Mrs. Easton left town on a regular basis, but I also knew that she always came back. But after what I’d found out about her today? After she’d revealed a side of her no one had probably ever seen—a side she’d hidden so perfectly . . . I would never put anything past her again.

  Jagger’s a father, I thought to myself as my stomach roiled, and LeAnn’s the mom. The girl who made the last two years of high school a living hell for anyone close to Jagger. The girl who slept with any man willing to give the town whore a few minutes of his time. The girl who’d been breaking into the warehouse, torturing Jagger and me, and hacking into Ben’s old Facebook account. The girl we now had a restraining order against.

  My head dropped back against the headrest, and I let out a pained cry as I took everything in. The deceit, the tormenting, and the pain. Jagger and I hadn’t talked about having kids; it just wasn’t something that had come up between us yet. Our focus had been on each other and on a future in which we were always together, and nothing else. But knowing he already had a son with another girl was breaking my heart. I felt like LeAnn had taken something special from Jagger and me, and couldn’t help but wonder how Jagger would react . . . when he found out.

  I felt beaten down. There was always something, and it seemed like life never let us have more than a few seconds to breathe, and just be happy. I had thought my biggest challenge with moving back to Thatch would be finding a way to survive in a town where there were so many memories and heartaches. I’d thought the difficulties would include my family getting used to seeing me and not worrying that they were going to hurt my feelings if they mentioned Ben, and finding something to keep me busy now that school was over; I didn’t want to be one of those people who just sat around wallowing in grief.

  There was no way I could’ve imagined all of this, or prepared for it. And I had no idea how to get through it now.

  But I knew that for Jagger I would somehow find a way to get through it. I knew I would do everything to find out the truth and figure out a safe way to tell Jagger. And I knew that we would find a way to get past this, just as we had with all the other problems that had come at us. We’d been through too much in the last two and a half years not to.

  Jagger

  October 18, 2014

  “YOU’RE INSANE. BURGERS are the only thing that should be ordered here.”

  I let the menu fall onto the table between Graham and me, and pushed it toward him. “They have a ton of other food for a reason. You’re supposed to try it.”

  “Their burgers are famous,” he argued, and I rolled my eyes.

  “Have you ever even tried anything else?”

  We were at Bonfire. A restaurant that had started off as a little hole-in-the-wall place, but had changed locations to a bigger space when everyone began to rave about their burgers and people started coming in from surrounding
towns. And granted, their burgers were amazing, but they had a handful of different types of food, and the burgers were nowhere near the best thing on the menu. But Graham and I had been having this fight for as long as I could remember, and there was no way to avoid it whenever we were here.

  “No need. I know what’s good. What are you getting, Grey?” Graham turned his attention to her when she didn’t respond and slapped at her menu. “Wake up, kid!”

  Grey’s gaze slowly slid over to her brother, then moved to me, her eyes wide and unreadable. “What?”

  “Food. Menu. Bonfire. What are you getting?” he repeated.

  “Oh, uh . . . I’m not sure. I think we . . .” She trailed off and looked around the restaurant, and Graham gave me a strange look just before I turned to see if something was wrong with her.

  “We should what?” Graham prompted, and Grey looked back at him.

  “What?”

  “Are you okay?”

  “Of course I am,” she said defensively, her gold eyes hardening at her brother’s question. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

  “Because you just stopped talking. You said ‘I think we,’ and then just stopped.”

  Grey sat there for a moment before shaking her head like she’d finally remembered what we’d been talking about. “Sorry, I’m spacing out so much today. Um, I think we should wait until Knox and Deacon get here.”

  Graham once again looked at me with confusion, but I couldn’t even begin to figure out what to say. I had no idea what was going on with Grey tonight. “We are waiting for Deacon and Knox, kid,” Graham said carefully. “I was just asking what you were going to order.”

  “Oh, well, I don’t know, we just got here.”

  “We’ve been here for ten minutes,” I informed her, and watched the shock take over her features.

  “Well then, I guess I should figure it out,” she said on a laugh, but Graham and I were still staring at her like she’d just told us that cows lived on the moon.