and dad were rollin’ on the couch!” Clair caught on a bit – she knew that part. They were holding onto each others hands and jumping up and down like silly little girls. Clair got a little lost on the next line, laughing almost the entire time.
“Rolling…numbers…GOT MY KISS RECORDS OUT!!!”
4 “This Is Probably Not A Good Idea…But I’m Gonna Do It Anyway”
After the song the two went over to the bar for another round and sat down at a booth.
“Oh my god,” Clair tried to catch her breath. “That was fun! You’re fun!” Did Clair have what they called a girl-crush? It was starting to seem like it.
“God, man,” Marisa said, dropping her head back against the booth. Her face glistened with pretty makeup and sweat. “The thing is – living in this city is so stressful that when you go out to have a good time you really want to have a good time.”
“I know!” Clair completely agreed. “It could be dangerous.” Marisa’s eyes tightened as she stared off into the dark belly of the club.
“Its almost like you’re…trying to escape forever…break through some…I don’t know…”
“Make a prison escape?” Clair guessed.
“Yeah.” Marisa laughed.
Clair considered inviting Marisa along on the road trip but knew Nathanial would have sex with her. She couldn’t take that hurt.
“Yeah, so where are you from?” Clair asked.
“Chicago.”
“Chicago?” Clair was surprised. “Chicago’s cool. Why did you move to New York.”
Marisa was still looking off into space. A small smile crawled across her mouth.
“Its funny – everyone said before I moved here, I should move here and then when I did they only said, why did you move there?”
“I just meant…”
“No, its okay,” Marisa looked at Clair. She had a vibrant smile to go with her thoughtful expression. “I moved here for the same reasons everyone else does – achieve something big.”
“Like what?”
“Modeling. There’s just more opportunities here than Chicago.”
“You could totally make it as a model,” Clair gushed.
“Oh…well thanks.” Marisa seemed doubtful.
“Jeremiah, Nathanial’s bassist, was stopped a few weeks ago by this guy that was supposedly some agent, looking for models. You should talk to him!”
“Right…because I’m a tall black man…?”
They both laughed.
“Hey what time is it?” Marisa asked before biting her lip.
“Time for the show, let’s go.”
Clair and Marisa found spots near the front of the stage and waited as the band made sure everything was ready to go. Marisa couldn’t take her eyes off Nathanial. Her heart sped up and stomped around in her chest like an impatient child.
She smiled adoringly at the sight of him. It took a certain person to pull off the leather pants look and he was certainly that person. He had on rugged black boots and a handkerchief tied around his wrist and a black t-shirt with the word STRUGGLE in red lettering across the chest. She wanted to share her relentless crush on him with Clair, but wasn’t sure what the deal was between her and Nathanial.
“So what about your underwear your ex sent you?” Clair suddenly asked. What a strange question, Marisa almost laughed.
“What?”
“Did you toss them?” She looked at Marisa’s amazing milky white skin.
“Oh no,” Marisa smiled and took her time responding. “I kept them. It’s not their fault who they’re from,” Marisa pointed out. “I’m a bit materialistic, I admit. At the end of the day, you know your favorite pair of shoes are not going to cheat on you. Anyway, the panties are red silk and from Victoria’s Secret.”
“Haha, just keep letting him send you stuff – nice stuff – you could even act like you’re considering getting back together with him to see what he sends next! Once you collect enough Chanel and Dior, cut him entirely off.”
“Cheers to that!” Marisa said. They clanked their glasses and looked back at the stage. Another guitar fart was released into the air. Nathanial was saying something to Jeremiah and Marisa wanted to know what it was. Why? It had nothing to do with her. It had something to do with the band probably, or some boyish joke, but she wanted to know it, she wanted to know everything he said and thought.
Clair grinned as she looked at Marisa.
“Do you have them on now?”
“You are fixated with my underwear!” Marisa called out. A strange looking guy with glasses standing a couple people down from them was watching them closely. They didn’t notice him. Clair waited for her cheeks to cool because she was blushing so hard! What had come over her?
“No,” Marisa answered about a minute later. A mischievous smile took over her face. “I’m not wearing any underwear.”
“Oh,” Clair responded in a goofy way, feeling nervous in a way she never had before.
“How do you feel about that?” Marisa teased.
“Oh…I don’t know…” Clair said, before taking a huge gulp of her beer.
“So…” Clair desperately tried to change the subject. “So Nathanial is calling their first EP This is probably not a good idea but…I’m Gonna Do It Anyway.”
“I like that,” Marisa nodded, looking at Clair. Then the music took over.
Nathanial’s chosen outfit for the night showed off his physique – tall with broad shoulders. He’d been working out some too with Jeremiah, and the results were starting to show. Then the fog machine nearly erased him as the song, which was very Joy Division, intensified.
“I wanna go with you,” Nathanial sung in a husky, brooding voice. “I wanna take a walk…” a piercing guitar riff courtesy of Jeremiah bled through beautifully. “I want your hands behind your back now honey and no I don’t wanna talk, don’t wanna talk…I wanna feel… the wind blow, as we go, to nowhere special, just like yesterday, oh it keeps going doesn’t it? The…nothingness…”
Drums thundered and the song was a sizzling doom affair. Marisa couldn’t believe it. He sounded as good as he looked, but as playful as he was on a day-to-day basis, on stage he was completely austere. How could she have liked him anymore than she did five minutes ago? It wasn’t fair. It was sweet torture.
“But this time…oh I’m making it work,” Nathanial threatened as another powerful guitar riff met with thunderous drums. “Don’t! Don’t you turn your head back for one second little girl, in my sleep, I killed the dream, today’s the end, I had the need, I knew you’d bleed, what else is new? Nothing…now don’t try to scream…don’t try and move…I wanna go with you, I wanna take a walk, I want your hands behind your back now honey and I don’t wanna talk…”
Nathanial took a break. It was Jeremiah’s turn to shine with a great guitar solo. The guitar was more like a chainsaw ripping apart the night to shine light on the one about to kill you. If everyone wasn’t paying attention a minute ago, they were now. The crowd could have been bigger – but what mattered was that the forty or fifty people that were in the room watching were invested now. Marisa’s eyes moved from Nathanial’s treasured face to the word STRUGGLE on his shirt as he returned to the stage with brimming ferociousness.
“Now you’re starting to shake! Mmmmm…you’re starting to shiver…” his voice roared loudly and sounded a bit staticy. “I got you how I want you, and you get the point girl, you’ll start to feel the fever, all weak inside, as you decide, not to think, and I’ll…take your hand, for hell’s sake, you want my hand on your back, you want my sick on your thigh, I’m the reason you breathe, the reason you’ll want to die, oh I will touch you with my plan, oh my love, ain’t it grand?” Another guitar riff spat out like liquid gold. “Don’t turn your back now honey and don’t try to understand, its your fault, now say bye to your friends, everything but the end, oh…sweet, sweet love, sweet, sweet…”
After a few minutes of silence post hoc fade out, the crowd che
ered. Marisa was in a trance, captivated by Nathanial’s dark weariness mixed with sexual tension and tenacity. He’d acceded her expectations.
“Oh my god,” she said to Clair. “He’s amazing.”
There was no time to say anything else when the band flew into the next song. They’d been practicing so much and tonight was the pay off. No wonder Nathanial was so restless earlier – he had something great to show off. The next song kicked off with an incredibly catchy fast beat.
“One day I'll be the boy I set out to be...one day she'll set him free...Oh…I know, just-just-just got to give it a few more days, just-just-just got to see it her way…the girl’s got a selfish need…the boy’s got time to bleed…but it never works out no it never works out! The fear gets in the way, she can’t find the words to say, and it never works out no it never works out! Just-just-just got to give it a few more days, just-just-just got to have it my way! Even though, this is what I said a year ago…and she screams when I don't touch her right, she forgets my hands are tied…” the song evolves into a catchy pop chorus. “She's the one with the rope! She’s the one with formaldehyde! My jaw's gone numb, I feel dumb just like anyone, all the saints run and hide! And it never works out no it never works out no! The sun drifts behind the clouds, a storm rips up the beach, these are the lessons that I teach, so it never works out! No it never works out!” Nathanial took a break and the band showed off their talents.
“Their songs are really good,” Marisa praised. “So