CHAPTER X. THE GREAT LAMP.
It was some time before she had a second opportunity of going out, forFalca, since the fall of the lamp, had been a little more careful, andseldom left her for long. But one night, having a little headache,Nycteris lay down upon her bed, and was lying with her eyes closed,when she heard Falca come to her, and felt she was bending over her.Disinclined to talk, she did not open her eyes, and lay quite still.Satisfied that she was asleep, Falca left her, moving so softly thather very caution made Nycteris open her eyes and look after her--justin time to see her vanish--through a picture, as it seemed, that hungon the wall a long way from the usual place of issue. She jumped up,her headache forgotten, and ran in the opposite direction; got out,groped her way to the stair, climbed, and reached the top of thewall.--Alas! the great room was not so light as the little one she hadleft. Why?--Sorrow of sorrows! the great lamp was gone! Had its globefallen? and its lovely light gone out upon great wings, a resplendentfirefly, oaring itself through a yet grander and lovelier room? Shelooked down to see if it lay anywhere broken to pieces on the carpetbelow; but she could not even see the carpet. But surely nothing verydreadful could have happened--no rumbling or shaking, for there wereall the little lamps shining brighter than before, not one of themlooking as if any unusual matter had befallen. What if each of thoselittle lamps was growing into a big lamp, and after being a big lampfor a while, had to go out and grow a bigger lamp still--out there,beyond this _out_?--Ah! here was the living thing that would not beseen, come to her again--bigger to-night! with such loving kisses, andsuch liquid strokings of her cheeks and forehead, gently tossing herhair, and delicately toying with it! But it ceased, and all was still.Had it gone out? What would happen next? Perhaps the little lamps hadnot to grow great lamps, but to fall one by one and go outfirst?--With that, came from below a sweet scent, then another, andanother. Ah, how delicious! Perhaps they were all coming to her onlyon their way out after the great lamp!--Then came the music of theriver, which she had been too absorbed in the sky to note the firsttime. What was it? Alas! alas! another sweet living thing on its wayout. They were all marching slowly out in long lovely file, one afterthe other, each taking its leave of her as it passed! It must be so:here were more and more sweet sounds, following and fading! The wholeof the _Out_ was going out again; it was all going after the greatlovely lamp! She would be left the only creature in the solitary day!Was there nobody to hang up a new lamp for the old one, and keep thecreatures from going?--She crept back to her rock very sad. She triedto comfort herself by saying that anyhow there would be room outthere; but as she said it she shuddered at the thought of _empty_room.
When next she succeeded in getting out, a half-moon hung in the east:a new lamp had come, she thought, and all would be well.
It would be endless to describe the phases of feeling through whichNycteris passed, more numerous and delicate than those of a thousandchanging moons. A fresh bliss bloomed in her soul with every varyingaspect of infinite nature. Ere long she began to suspect that the newmoon was the old moon, gone out and come in again like herself; alsothat, unlike herself, it wasted and grew again; that it was indeed alive thing, subject like herself to caverns, and keepers, andsolitudes, escaping and shining when it could. Was it a prison likehers it was shut in? and did it grow dark when the lamp left it? Wherecould be the way into it?--With that first she began to look below, aswell as above and around her; and then first noted the tops of thetrees between her and the floor. There were palms with theirred-fingered hands full of fruit; eucalyptus trees crowded with littleboxes of powder-puffs; oleanders with their half-caste roses; andorange trees with their clouds of young silver stars, and their agedballs of gold. Her eyes could see colours invisible to ours in themoonlight, and all these she could distinguish well, though at firstshe took them for the shapes and colours of the carpet of the greatroom. She longed to get down among them, now she saw they were realcreatures, but she did not know how. She went along the whole lengthof the wall to the end that crossed the river, but found no way ofgoing down. Above the river she stopped to gaze with awe upon therushing water. She knew nothing of water but from what she drank andwhat she bathed in; and, as the moon shone on the dark, swift stream,singing lustily as it flowed, she did not doubt the river was alive, aswift rushing serpent of life, going--out?--whither? And then shewondered if what was brought into her rooms had been killed that shemight drink it, and have her bath in it.
Once when she stepped out upon the wall, it was into the midst of afierce wind. The trees were all roaring. Great clouds were rushingalong the skies, and tumbling over the little lamps: the great lamphad not come yet. All was in tumult. The wind seized her garments andhair, and shook them as if it would tear them from her. What could shehave done to make the gentle creature so angry? Or was this anothercreature altogether--of the same kind, but hugely bigger, and of avery different temper and behaviour? But the whole place was angry! Orwas it that the creatures dwelling in it, the wind, and the trees, andthe clouds, and the river, had all quarrelled, each with all the rest?Would the whole come to confusion and disorder? But, as she gazedwondering and disquieted, the moon, larger than ever she had seen her,came lifting herself above the horizon to look, broad and red, as ifshe, too, were swollen with anger that she had been roused from herrest by their noise, and compelled to hurry up to see what herchildren were about, thus rioting in her absence, lest they shouldrack the whole frame of things. And as she rose, the loud wind grewquieter and scolded less fiercely, the trees grew stiller and moanedwith a lower complaint, and the clouds hunted and hurled themselvesless wildly across the sky. And as if she were pleased that herchildren obeyed her very presence, the moon grew smaller as sheascended the heavenly stair; her puffed cheeks sank, her complexiongrew clearer, and a sweet smile spread over her countenance, aspeacefully she rose and rose. But there was treason and rebellion inher court; for, ere she reached the top of her great stairs, theclouds had assembled, forgetting their late wars, and very still theywere as they laid their heads together and conspired. Then combining,and lying silently in wait until she came near, they threw themselvesupon her, and swallowed her up. Down from the roof came spots of wet,faster and faster, and they wetted the cheeks of Nycteris; and whatcould they be but the tears of the moon, crying because her childrenwere smothering her? Nycteris wept too, and not knowing what to think,stole back in dismay to her room.
The next time, she came out in fear and trembling. There was the moonstill! away in the west--poor, indeed, and old, and looking dreadfullyworn, as if all the wild beasts in the sky had been gnawing ather--but there she was, alive still, and able to shine!