Chapter LVII
News from home not very agreeable, although the reader may laugh--Wearrive at Portsmouth, where I fall in with my old acquaintance, MrsTrotter--We sail with a convoy for the Baltic.
I had written to my sister Ellen, giving her an account of all that hadpassed, and mentioning the character of the captain, and his apparentintimacy with my uncle. I received an answer from her, telling me thatshe had discovered, from a very communicative old maiden lady, thatCaptain Hawkins was an illegitimate son of my uncle, by a lady with whomhe had been acquainted about the time that he was in the army. Iimmediately conceived the truth, that my uncle had pointed me out to himas an object of his vengeance, and that Captain Hawkins was too dutifuland too dependent a son not to obey him. The state of my father was moredistressing than ever, but there was something very ludicrous in hisfancies. He had fancied himself a jackass, and had brayed for a week,kicking the old nurse in the stomach, so as to double her up like ahedgehog. He had taken it into his head that he was a pump; and, withone arm held out as a spout, he had obliged the poor old nurse to workthe other up and down for hours together. At another time, he had anidea that he was a woman in labour, and they were obliged to give him astrong dose of calomel, and borrow a child of six years old from aneighbour, to make him believe that he was delivered. He was perfectlysatisfied, although the child was born to him in cloth trousers, and ajacket with three rows of sugar-loaf buttons. Aye, said he, it was thosebuttons which hurt my side so much. In fact, there was a string ofstrange conceptions of this kind that had accumulated, so as to drive mypoor sister almost mad; and sometimes his ideas would be attended with avery heavy expense, as he would send for architects, make contracts,&c., for building, supposing himself to have come to the title andproperty of his brother. This, being the basis of his disease, occurredfrequently. I wrote to poor Ellen, giving her my best advice, and bythis time the brig was again ready for sea, and we expected to sailimmediately. I did not forget to write to O'Brien, but the distancebetween us was so great that I knew I could not obtain his answerprobably for a year, and I felt a melancholy foreboding how much Irequired his advice.
Our orders were to proceed to Portsmouth, and join a convoy collectedthere, bound up the Baltic, under the charge of the _Acasta_ frigate,and two other vessels. We did not sail with any pleasure, or hopes ofgaining much in the way of prize-money. Our captain was enough to makeany ship a hell; and our ship's company were composed of a mutinous andincorrigible set of scoundrels, with, of course, a few exceptions. Howdifferent did the officers find the brig after losing such a captain asO'Brien, and so fine a ship's company! But there was no help for it, andall we had to do was to make the best of it, and hope for better times.The cat was at work nearly every day, and I must acknowledge that,generally speaking, it was deserved; although sometimes a report fromthe sergeant of marines of any good man favoured by me, was certain tobe attended to. This system of receiving reports direct from an inferiorofficer, instead of through me, as first lieutenant, became so annoying,that I resolved, at all risk, to expostulate. I soon had an opportunity,for one morning the captain said to me, "Mr Simple, I understand thatyou had a fire in the galley last night after hours."
"It is very true, sir, that I did order a stove to be lighted; but may Iinquire whether the first lieutenant has not a discretionary power inthat point? and further, how it is that I am reported to you by otherpeople? The discipline of this ship is carried on by me, under yourdirections, and all reports ought to come through me; and I cannotunderstand upon what grounds you permit them through any other channel."
"I command my own ship, sir, and shall do as I please in that respect.When I have officers I can confide in, I shall, in all probability,allow them to report to me."
"If there is anything in my conduct which has proved to you that I amincapable, or not trustworthy, I would feel obliged to you, sir, if youwould, in the first place, point it out;--and, in the next, bring me toa court-martial if I do not correct it."
"I am no court-martial man, sir," replied he, "but I am not to bedictated to by an inferior officer, so you'll oblige me by holding yourtongue. The sergeant of marines, as master-at-arms, is bound to reportto me any deviation from the regulations I have laid down for thediscipline of the ship."
"Granted, sir; but that report, according to the custom of the service,should come through the first lieutenant."
"I prefer it coming direct, sir;--it stands less chance of beinggarbled."
"Thank you, Captain Hawkins, for the compliment." The captain walkedaway without further reply, and shortly after went down below. Swinburneranged up alongside of me as soon as the captain disappeared.
"Well, Mr Simple, so I hear we are bound to the Baltic. Why couldn'tthey have ordered us to pick up the convoy off Yarmouth, instead ofcoming all the way to Portsmouth? We shall be in to-morrow with thisslant of wind."
"I suppose the convoy are not yet collected, Swinburne; and yourecollect there's no want of French privateers in the channel."
"Very true, sir."
"When were you up the Baltic, Swinburne?"
"I was in the old _St George_, a regular old ninety-eight; she sailedjust like a hay-stack, one mile ahead and three to leeward. Lord blessyou, Mr Simple, the Cattegat wasn't wide enough for her; but she was acomfortable sort of vessel after all, excepting on a lee-shore, so weused always to give the land a wide berth, I recollect. By the bye, MrSimple, do you recollect how angry you were because I didn't peach atBarbadoes, when the men _sucked the monkey?_"
"To be sure I do."
"Well, then, I didn't think it fair then, as I was one of them. But nowthat I'm a bit of an officer, I just tell you that when we get toCarlscrona there's a method of _sucking the monkey_ there, which, asfirst lieutenant, with such a queer sort of captain, it is just as wellthat you should be up to. In the old _St George_ we had seventy mendrunk one afternoon, and the first lieutenant couldn't find it outnohow."
"Indeed, Swinburne, you must let me into that secret."
"So I will, Mr Simple. Don't you know there's a famous stuff for cutsand wounds, called balsam?"
"What, Riga balsam?"
"Yes, that's it; well, all the boats will bring that for sale, as theydid to us in the old _St George_. Devilish good stuff it is for wounds,I believe; but it's not bad to drink, and it's very strong. We used totake it _inwardly_, Mr Simple, and the first lieutenant never guessedit."
"What! you all got tipsy upon Riga balsam?"
"All that could; so I just give you a hint."
"I'm much obliged to you, Swinburne; I certainly never should havesuspected it. I believe seamen would get drunk upon anything."
The next morning we anchored at Spithead, and found the convoy ready forsea. The captain went on shore to report himself to the admiral, and, asusual, the brig was surrounded with bumboats and wherries, with peoplewho wished to come on board. As we were not known on the Portsmouthstation, and had no acquaintance with the people, all the bumboats werevery anxious to supply the ship: and, as this is at the option of thefirst lieutenant, he is very much persecuted until he has made hisdecision. Certificates of good conduct from other officers were handedup the side from all of them; and I looked over the books at thecapstern. In the second book the name struck me; it was that of MrsTrotter, and I walked to the gangway out of curiosity, to ascertainwhether it was the same personage who, when I was a youngster, had takensuch care of my shirts. As I looked at the boats, a voice cried out, "O,Mr Simple, have you forgot your old friend? don't you recollect MrsTrotter?" I certainly did not recollect her; she had grown very fat,and, although more advanced in years, was a better-looking woman thanwhen I had first seen her, for she looked healthy and fresh.
"Indeed, I hardly did recollect you, Mrs Trotter."
"I've so much to tell you, Mr Simple," replied she, ordering the boat topull alongside; and, as she was coming up, desired the man to get thethings in, as if permission was quite unnecessary. I did notcounter-order it, as I
knew none of the others, and, as far as honestywas concerned, believed them all to be much on a par. On the strength,then, of old acquaintance, Mrs Trotter was admitted.
"Well, I'm sure, Mr Simple," cried Mrs Trotter, out of breath withclimbing up the brig's side; "what a man you've grown,--and such ahandsome man, too! Dear, dear, it makes me feel quite old to look atyou, when I call to mind the little boy whom I had charge of in thecockpit. Don't you think I look very old and ugly, Mr Simple?" continuedshe, smiling and smirking.
"Indeed, Mrs Trotter, I think you wear very well. Pray, how is yourhusband?"
"Ah, Mr Simple, poor dear Mr Trotter--he's gone. Poor fellow! no wonder;what with his drinking, and his love for me--and his jealousy--(do yourecollect how jealous he was, Mr Simple?)--he wore himself out at last.No wonder, considering what he had been accustomed to, after keeping hiscarriage and dogs with everybody, to be reduced to see his wife go a_bumming_. It broke his heart, poor fellow! and, Mr Simple, I've beenmuch happier ever since, for I could not bear to see him fretting. Lord,how jealous he was--and all about nothing! Don't you want some freshmeat for the gun-room? I've a nice leg of mutton in the boat, and somemilk for tea."
"Recollect, Mrs Trotter, I shall not overlook your bringing spirits onboard."
"Lord, Mr Simple, how could you think of such a thing? It's very truethat these common people do it, but the company I have kept, the societyI have been in, Mr Simple! Besides, you must recollect that I neverdrank anything but water."
I could not exactly coincide with her, but I did not contradict her.
"Would you like the Portsmouth paper, Mr Simple?" taking one out of herpocket; "I know gentlemen are fond of the news. Poor Trotter used neverto stir from the breakfast table until he had finished the daily paper--but that was when we lived in very different style. Have you any clothesto wash, Mr Simple,--or have any of the gentlemen?"
"I fear we have no time, we sail too soon," replied I; "we go with theconvoy."
"Indeed!" cried Mrs Trotter, who walked to the main hatchway and calledto her man Bill. I heard her give him directions to sell nothing upontrust, in consequence of the intelligence of our immediate sailing.
"I beg your pardon, Mr Simple, I was only desiring my head man to sendfor your steward, that he might be supplied with the best, and to savesome milk for the gun-room."
"And I must beg your pardon, Mrs Trotter, for I must attend to my duty."Mrs Trotter made her courtesy and walked down the main ladder to attendto _her duty_, and we separated. I was informed that she had a greatdeal of custom, as she understood how to manage the officers, and madeherself generally useful to them. She had been a bumboat woman for sixyears, and had made a great deal of money. Indeed, it was reported, thatif a _first lieutenant _wanted forty or fifty pounds, Mrs Trotter wouldalways lend it to him, without requiring his promissory note.
The captain came on board in the evening, having dined with the admiral,and left directions for having all ready for unmooring and heaving shortat daylight. The signal was made from the frigate at sunrise, and beforetwelve o'clock we were all under weigh, and running past St Helen's witha favourable wind. Our force consisted of the _Acasta_ frigate, the_Isis_ ship, sloop, mounting twenty guns, the _Reindeer_, eighteen, andour own brig. The convoy amounted to nearly two hundred. Although thewind was fair, and the water smooth, we were more than a week before wemade Anholt light, owing _to_ the bad sailing and inattention of many ofthe vessels belonging to the convoy. We were constantly employedrepeating signals, firing guns, and often sent back to tow up thesternmost vessels. At last we passed the Anholt light, with a lightbreeze; and the next morning the main land was to be distinguished onboth bows.