Chapter V
THE TRAVESTIE
"Here we are, Corbett, and now I only wish my venture had been double,"observed Pickersgill; "but I shall not allow business to absorb mewholly--we must add a little amusement. It appears to me, Corbett, thatthe gentleman's clothes which lie there will fit you, and those of thegood-looking fellow who was spokesman will, I am sure, suit me well.Now, let us dress ourselves, and then for breakfast."
Pickersgill then exchanged his clothes for those of Mr Hautaine, andCorbett fitted on those of Mr Ossulton. The steward was summoned up, andhe dared not disobey; he appeared on deck, trembling.
"Steward--you will take these clothes below," said Pickersgill, "and,observe, I now command this yacht; and, during the time that I am onboard, you will pay me the same respect as you did Lord B.: nay, more,you will always address me as Lord B. You will prepare dinner andbreakfast, and do your duty just as if his lordship was on board, andtake care that you feed us well, for I will not allow the ladies to beentertained in a less sumptuous manner than before.--You will tell thecook what I say,--and now that you have heard me, take care that youobey; if not, recollect that I have my own men here, and if I but pointwith my finger, _overboard you go_.--Do you perfectly comprehend me?"
"Yes,--sir," stammered the steward.
"Yes, _sir_!--What did I tell you, sirrah?--Yes, my lord.--Do youunderstand me?"
"Yes--my lord."
"Pray, steward, whose clothes has this gentleman put on?"
"Mr--Mr Ossulton's, I think--sir--my lord, I mean."
"Very well, steward; then recollect, in future you always address thatgentleman as _Mr Ossulton_."
"Yes, my lord," and the steward went down below, and was obliged to takea couple of glasses of brandy, to keep himself from fainting.
"Who are they, and what are they! Mr Maddox?" cried the lady's-maid, whohad been weeping.
"Pirates!--_bloody, murderous, stick-at-nothing_ pirates!" replied thesteward.
"Oh!" screamed the lady's-maid, "what will become of us, poorunprotected females?" And she hastened into the cabin, to impart thisdreadful intelligence.
The ladies in the cabin were not in a very enviable situation. As forthe elder Miss Ossulton (but, perhaps, it will be better in future todistinguish the two ladies, by calling the elder simply Miss Ossulton,and her niece, Cecilia), she was sitting with her salts to her nose,agonised with a mixture of trepidation and wounded pride. Mrs Lascelleswas weeping, but weeping gently. Cecilia was sad, and her heart wasbeating with anxiety and suspense--when the maid rushed in.
"O madam! O miss! O Mrs Lascelles! I have found it all out!--they aremurderous, bloody, do-everything pirates!!!"
"Mercy on us!" exclaimed Miss Ossulton; "surely they will never dare--?"
"Oh, ma'am, they dare anything!--they just now were throwing the stewardoverboard--and they have rummaged all the portmanteaus, and dressedthemselves in the gentlemen's best clothes--the captain of them told thesteward that he was Lord B.--and that if he dared to call him anythingelse, he would cut his throat from ear to ear--and if the cook don'tgive them a good dinner, they swear that they'll chop his right handoff, and make him eat it, without pepper or salt!"
Miss Ossulton screamed, and went off into hysterics. Mrs Lascelles andCecilia went to her assistance; but the latter had not forgotten thevery different behaviour of Jack Pickersgill, and his polite manners,when he boarded the vessel. She did not, therefore, believe what themaid had reported, but still her anxiety and suspense were great,especially about her father. After having restored her aunt, she put onher bonnet, which was lying on the sofa.
"Where are you going, dear?" said Mrs Lascelles.
"On deck," replied Cecilia. "I must and will speak to these men."
"Gracious heaven, Miss Ossulton going on deck! have you heard whatPhoebe says?"
"Yes, aunt, I have; but I can wait here no longer."
"Stop her! stop her!--she will be murdered!--she will be--she is mad!"screamed Miss Ossulton; but no one attempted to stop Cecilia, and ondeck she went. On her arrival, she found Jack Pickersgill and Corbettwalking the deck; one of the smugglers at the helm, and the restforward, and as quiet as the crew of the yacht. As soon as she made herappearance, Jack took off his hat, and made her a bow.
"I do not know whom I have the honour of addressing, young lady! but Iam flattered with this mark of confidence. You feel, and I assure you,you feel correctly, that you are not exactly in lawless hands."
Cecilia looked with more surprise than fear at Pickersgill; MrHautaine's dress became him, he was a handsome, fine-looking man, andhad nothing of the ruffian in his appearance; unless, like Byron'sCorsair, he was _half savage, half soft_. She could not help thinkingthat she had met many with less pretensions, as far as appearance went,to the claims of a gentleman, at Almack's, and other fashionablecircles.
"I have ventured on deck, sir," said Cecilia, with a littletremulousness in her voice, "to request, as a favour, that you willinform me what your intentions may be, with regard to the vessel, andwith regard to the ladies!"
"And I feel much obliged to you, for so doing, and I assure you, I will,as far as I have made up my own mind, answer you candidly: but youtremble--allow me to conduct you to a seat. In few words, then, toremove your present alarm, I intend that the vessel shall be returned toits owner, with every article in it, as religiously respected as if theywere church property. With respect to you, and the other ladies onboard, I pledge you my honour, that you have nothing to fear; that youshall be treated with every respect; your privacy never invaded; andthat, in a few days, you will be restored to your friends. Young lady, Ipledge my hopes of future salvation to the truth of this; but, at thesame time, I must make a few conditions, which, however, will not bevery severe."
"But, sir," replied Cecilia, much relieved, for Pickersgill had stood byher in the most respectful manner, "you are, I presume, the captain ofthe smuggler? Pray, answer me one question more--What became of theboat, with Lord B.,--he is my father?"
"I left him in his boat, without a hair of his head touched, young lady;but I took away the oars."
"Then he will perish!" cried Cecilia, putting her handkerchief to hereyes.
"No, young lady, he is on shore probably by this time; although I tookaway his means of assisting to capture us, I left him the means ofgaining the land. It is not every one who would have done that, afterhis conduct to us."
"I begged him not to go," said Cecilia; "I told him that it was notfair, and that he had no quarrel with the smugglers."
"I thank you even for that," replied Pickersgill. "And now, Miss--I havenot the pleasure of recollecting his lordship's family name--"
"Ossulton, sir," said Cecilia, looking at Pickersgill with surprise.
"Then, with your permission, Miss Ossulton, I will now make you myconfidant: excuse my using so free a term, but it is because I wish torelieve your fears; at the same time, I cannot permit you to divulge allmy intentions to the whole party on board; I feel that I may trust you,for you have courage, and where there is courage, there generally istruth; but you must first tell me whether you will condescend to acceptthese terms?"
Cecilia demurred a moment--the idea of being the confidant of a smugglerrather startled her; but still, her knowledge of what his intentionswere, if she might not reveal them, might be important; as, perhaps, shemight dissuade him. She could be in no worse position than she was now,and she might be in a much better. The conduct of Pickersgill had beensuch, up to the present, as to inspire confidence; and, although hedefied the laws, he appeared to regard the courtesies of life. Ceciliawas a courageous girl, and at length she replied:--
"Provided what you desire me to keep secret will not be injurious to anyone, or compromise me, in my peculiar situation, I consent."
"I would not hurt a fly, Miss Ossulton, but in self-defence, and I havetoo much respect for you, from your conduct during our short meeting, tocompromise you. Allow me now to be very candid; and then, perhaps, youwill
acknowledge that, in my situation, others would do the same; and,perhaps, not show half so much forbearance. Your father, without anyright whatever, interferes with me, and my calling: he attempts to makeme a prisoner, to have me thrown in jail; heavily fined, and, perhaps,sent out of the country. I will not enter into any defence of smuggling,it is sufficient to say, that there are pains and penalties attached tothe infraction of certain laws, and that I choose to risk them--but LordB. was not empowered by Government to attack me; it was a gratuitousact--and had I thrown him, and all his crew into the sea, I should havebeen justified, for it was in short, an act of piracy on their part.Now, as your father has thought to turn a yacht into a revenue cutter,you cannot be surprised at my retaliating, in turning her into asmuggler; and as he has mixed up looking after the revenue withyachting, he cannot be surprised if I retaliate, by mixing up a littleyachting with smuggling. I have dressed your male companions assmugglers, and have sent them in the smuggling vessel to Cherbourg,where they will be safely landed; and I have dressed myself, and theonly person whom I could join with me in this frolic, as gentlemen, intheir places. My object is twofold: one is, to land my cargo, which Ihave now on board, and which is very valuable; the other is, toretaliate upon your father and his companions, for their attempt uponme, by stepping into their shoes, and enjoying, for a day or two, theirluxuries. It is my intention to make free with nothing, but hislordship's wine and eatables,--that you may be assured of; but I shallhave no pleasure, if the ladies do not sit down to the dinner-table withus, as they did before with your father and his friends."
"You can hardly expect that, sir," said Cecilia.
"Yes, I do; and that will be not only the price of the early release ofthe yacht and themselves, but it will also be the only means by whichthey will obtain anything to eat. You observe, Miss Ossulton, the sinsof the fathers are visited on the children. I have now told you what Imean to do, and what I wish. I leave you to think of it, and decidewhether it will not be the best for all parties to consent. You have mypermission to tell the other ladies, that whatever may be their conduct,they are as secure from ill-treatment or rudeness, as if they were inGrosvenor Square; but I cannot answer that they will not be hungry, if,after such forbearance in every point, they show so little gratitude, asnot to honour me with their company."
"Then I am to understand that we are to be starved into submission?"
"No, not starved, Miss Ossulton; but recollect that you will be on breadand water, and detained until you do consent, and your detention willincrease the anxiety of your father."
"You know how to persuade, sir," said Cecilia. "As far as I amconcerned, I trust I shall ever be ready to sacrifice any feelings ofpride, to spare my father so much uneasiness. With your permission, Iwill now go down into the cabin, and relieve my companions from theworst of their fears. As for obtaining what you wish, I can only say,that, as a young person, I am not likely to have much influence withthose older than myself, and must inevitably be overruled, as I have notpermission to point out to them reasons which might avail. Would you sofar allow me to be relieved from my promise, as to communicate all youhave said to me, to the only married woman on board? I think I thenmight obtain your wishes, which, I must candidly tell you, I shallattempt to effect, _only_ because I am most anxious to rejoin myfriends."
"And be relieved of my company," replied Pickersgill, smiling,ironically,--"of course you are; but I must and will have my pettyrevenge: and although you may, and probably will detest me, at allevents you shall not have any very formidable charge to make against meBefore you go below, Miss Ossulton, I give you my permission to add themarried lady to the number of my confidants; and you must permit me tointroduce my friend, Mr Ossulton;" and Pickersgill waved his hand in thedirection of Corbett, who took off his hat, and made a low obeisance.
It was impossible for Cecilia Ossulton to help smiling.
"And," continued Pickersgill, "having taking the command of this yacht,instead of his lordship, it is absolutely necessary that I also take hislordship's name. While on board I am Lord B.; and allow me to introducemyself under that name--I cannot be addressed otherwise. Depend upon it,Miss Ossulton, that I shall have a most paternal solicitude to make youhappy and comfortable."
Had Cecilia Ossulton dared to have given vent to her real feelings atthat time, she would have burst into a fit of laughter, it was tooludicrous. At the same time, the very burlesque reassured her stillmore. She went into the cabin with a heavy weight removed from herheart.
In the meantime, Miss Ossulton and Mrs Lascelles remained below, in thegreatest anxiety at Cecilia's prolonged stay; they knew not what tothink, and dared not go on deck. Mrs Lascelles had once determined atall risks to go up; but Miss Ossulton and Phoebe had screamed, andimplored her so fervently not to leave them, that she unwillinglyconsented to remain. Cecilia's countenance, when she entered the cabin,reassured Mrs Lascelles, but not her aunt, who ran to her, crying andsobbing, and clinging to her, saying, "What have they done to you, mypoor, poor Cecilia?"
"Nothing at all, aunt," replied Cecilia, "the captain speaks veryfairly, and says he shall respect us in every possible way, providedthat we obey his orders, but if not--"
"If not--what, Cecilia?" said Miss Ossulton, grasping her niece's arm.
"He will starve us, and not let us go!"
"God have mercy on us!"--cried Miss Ossulton, renewing her sobs.
Cecilia then went to Mrs Lascelles, and communicated to her, apart, allthat had passed. Mrs Lascelles agreed with Cecilia, that they were in nodanger of insult; and as they talked over the matter, they at last beganto laugh; there was a novelty in it, and there was something soridiculous in all the gentlemen being turned into smugglers. Cecilia wasglad that she could not tell her aunt, as she wished her to be sofrightened, as never to have her company on board of the yacht again;and Mrs Lascelles was too glad to annoy her for many and various insultsreceived. The matter was, therefore, canvassed over very satisfactorily,and Mrs Lascelles felt a natural curiosity to see this new Lord B. andthe second Mr Ossulton. But they had had no breakfast and were feelingvery hungry, now that their alarm was over. They desired Phoebe to askthe steward for some tea or coffee. The reply was, that, "Breakfast waslaid in the cabin, and Lord B. trusted that the ladies would come topartake of it."
"No, no," replied Mrs Lascelles, "I never can, without being introducedto them first."
"Nor will I go," replied Cecilia, "but I will write a note, and we willhave our breakfast here." Cecilia wrote a note in pencil as follows:--
"Miss Ossulton's compliments to Lord B., and, as the ladies feel ratherindisposed after the alarm of this morning, they trust that his lordshipwill excuse their coming to breakfast; but hope to meet his lordship atdinner, if not before that time, on deck."
The answer was propitious, and the steward soon appeared with thebreakfast in the ladies' cabin.
"Well Maddox," said Cecilia, "how do you get on with your new master?"
The steward looked at the door to see if it was closed, shook his head,and then said with a look of despair, "He has ordered a haunch ofvenison for dinner, miss, and he has twice threatened to toss meoverboard."
"You must obey him, Maddox, or he certainly will. These pirates aredreadful fellows; be attentive, and serve him just as if he was myfather."
"Yes, yes, ma'am, I will, but our time may come; it's _burglary_ on thehigh seas, and I'll go fifty miles to see him hanged."
"Steward!" cried Pickersgill, from the cabin.
"O lord! he can't have heard me--d'ye-think he did, miss?"
"The partitions are very thin, and you spoke very loud," said MrsLascelles; "at all events, go to him quickly."
"Good-bye, miss; good-bye, ma'am; if I shouldn't see you any more," saidMaddox, trembling with fear, as he obeyed the awful summons--which wasto demand a tooth-pick.
Miss Ossulton would not touch the breakfast; not so Mrs Lascelles andCecilia, who ate very heartily.
"It's very dull to be shut up in t
his cabin," said Mrs Lascelles; "come,Cecilia, let's go on deck."
"And leave me," cried Miss Ossulton.
"There is Phoebe here, aunt; we are going up to persuade the pirates toput us all on shore."
Mrs Lascelles and Cecilia put on their bonnets and went up. Lord B. tookoff his hat, and begged the honour of being introduced to the prettywidow. He handed the ladies to a seat, and then commenced conversingupon various subjects, which, at the same time, possessed great novelty.His lordship talked about France, and described its ports; told now andthen a good anecdote; pointed out the different headlands, bays, towns,and villages, which they were passing rapidly, and always had somelittle story connected with each. Before the ladies had been two hourson deck, they found themselves, to their infinite surprise, not onlyinterested, but in conversation with the captain of the smuggler, andmore than once they laughed outright. But the _soi-disant_ Lord B. hadinspired them with confidence; they fully believed that what he had toldthem was true, and that he had taken possession of the yacht to smugglehis goods, to be revenged, and to have a laugh. Now none of these threeoffences are capital in the eyes of the fair sex; and Jack was ahandsome, fine-looking fellow, of excellent manners, and very agreeableconversation, at the same time, neither he nor his friend were in theirgeneral deportment and behaviour otherwise than most respectful.
"Ladies, as you are not afraid of me, which is a greater happiness thanI had reason to expect, I think you may be amused to witness the fear ofthose who accuse your sex of cowardice. With your permission, I willsend for the cook and steward, and inquire about the dinner."
"I should like to know what there is for dinner," observed Mrs Lascellesdemurely; "wouldn't you, Cecilia?"
Cecilia put her handkerchief to her mouth.
"Tell the steward and the cook both to come aft immediately," criedPickersgill.
In a few seconds they both made their appearance.
"Steward!" cried Pickersgill, with a loud voice.
"Yes, my lord," replied Maddox, with his hat in his hand.
"What wines have you put out for dinner?"
"Champagne, my lord; and claret, my lord; and Madeira and sherry, mylord."
"No Burgundy, sir?"
"No, my lord; there is no Burgundy on board."
"No Burgundy, sir! do you dare to tell me that?"
"Upon my soul, my lord," cried Maddox, dropping on his knees, "there isno Burgundy on board--ask the ladies."
"Very well, sir; you may go."
"Cook, what have you got for dinner?"
"Sir, a haunch of mutt--of venison, my lord," replied the cook, with hiswhite night-cap in his hand.
"What else, sirrah?"
"A boiled calf's head, my lord."
"A boiled calf's head! Let it be roasted, or I'll roast you, sir!" criedPickersgill in an angry tone.
"Yes, my lord; I'll roast it."
"And what else, sir?"
"Maintenon cutlets, my lord."
"Maintenon cutlets! I hate them--I won't have them, sir. Let them bedressed _a l'ombre Chinoise_."
"I don't know what that is, my lord."
"I don't care for that, sirrah; if you don't find out by dinner-time,you're food for fishes--that's all; you may go."
The cook walked off wringing his hands and his night-cap as well--for hestill held it in his right hand--and disappeared down the fore-hatchway.
"I have done this to pay you a deserved compliment, ladies; you havemore courage than the other sex."
"Recollect that we have had confidence given to us in consequence ofyour pledging your word, my lord."
"You do me, then, the honour of believing me?"
"I did not until I saw you," replied Mrs Lascelles; "but now I amconvinced that you will perform your promise."
"You do, indeed, encourage me, madam, to pursue what is right," saidPickersgill, bowing; "for your approbation I should be most sorry tolose, still more sorry to prove myself unworthy of it."
As the reader will observe, everything was going on remarkably well.