“Yes.” There was no reason to lie. “I don’t know what you want from me, Coal.”
“Look at me.”
She looked up at him as she returned the drink to the tray. Coal’s dark, intense eyes were locked on her face. He reached for the waistband of his pants and she lowered her focus to watch his fingers work the front opening.
“I will not hurt you. This is going to be about learning pleasure.”
He wiggled his hips slightly to bare more of his body when his pants lowered. It fascinated her as his skin was revealed. A few inches more and she held her breath as his cock sprang free from the material. She stared at his large, erect sex, which pointed straight up at her. It amazed her that something that size could defy gravity. This time she wasn’t afraid of him.
“What frightens you about males?”
She swallowed hard. “I told you, I’ve been hurt.” She didn’t expand her explanation, figuring he could guess from what she’d already told him about her ex.
“I really could track him down and kill him for you if you were to ask it as payment from me for rescuing me from the freighter.”
“Don’t tempt me.” It shocked her when she smiled, amused at the image of how Darren would react if he ever ran into the terrifying cyborg. She realized she should be running for another room to try to hide from the man who pushed his pants down his thighs and stepped out of them. Instead she said, “He enjoyed fear. It turned him on more.”
“I don’t want that.” Coal straightened, stood motionless, allowing her to study every inch of him if she dared. “What will make you less afraid of me? You may touch me.”
The idea of reaching out to put her hands on him had her lacing her fingers together in her lap. Curiosity tempted her to actually do it.
“I won’t attack you. I won’t get so excited that I harm you. Touch me. Perhaps that will make you more comfortable with the sight of my body.” He hesitated. “I know my size is intimidating but I’d never use it against you to cause any pain.”
An emotion flashed in his eyes but she caught it. She just wasn’t sure why he felt vulnerable. She had a lifetime of feeling that way—she recognized that look.
“This is insane.”
He moved slowly and sat on the bed a few feet from her. She glanced at his lap, gawking a little at his hefty erection, and then jerked her gaze back up to his face when he spoke.
“What is insane about me helping you get past your fear of males?”
“I don’t know you and you’re naked.”
He eased his hand toward her, palm out. “Take my hand.”
She hesitated and then unlocked her fingers, actually putting her hand in his. He didn’t comment on it if he noticed how she trembled. He inched her palm to his chest, placing it over his heart, and gently held it there. Heat radiated off his skin, more so than anyone she’d ever touched.
“You’re very warm.”
“You mentioned that before.”
She had, believing he’d been sick with a fever. His hand released hers, leaving her touching him on her own. She gazed up into his beautiful eyes as her fingers inched up to his collarbone, hesitated there, and then slid upward to curve around the bend of his broad shoulder.
“There’s no need to be timid. I will remain still,” he encouraged her softly. “There’s no pain here, Jill.” He paused. “I will not harm you.”
Honesty and sincerity shone in his eyes. Jill wanted to believe him but it would be insane to do so. She didn’t know him—cyborgs had to be pretty dangerous, considering that Earth Government had tried to kill all of them—but her other hand lifted to touch his thigh inches above his knee. Hot skin greeted her there as well.
Coal took a shallow breath. “I’ll lie down and you can explore me if you wish.”
She released him and watched as he very slowly stretched out on the bed until he rested flat on his back. His arms rose and he laced his fingers behind his head, using his palms to form a pillow.
“Go ahead, Jill. You may explore any part of me you wish.”
She turned to allow her gaze to travel over his impressive form. His beauty of his muscular, toned body wasn’t lost on her. Even his unusual gray coloring attracted her, tempting her to spread her hands over him.
“Have you ever willingly touched a man?”
“No.”
“What do you fear?”
Images of her past flashed. Her ex-husband had really hurt her and on top of it all, he’d been verbally abusive. She’d never wanted to touch a man before, never had been given the opportunity to do it without fear. It sank in slowly that she wasn’t afraid. She felt curious, definitely, but memories of what Coal had done to her body had her feeling…aroused.
“I’m not sure,” she admitted, caressing his thigh, amazed that the small amount of hair there could be so soft and that his warm skin could be silky textured, considering the strength of muscles lurking just beneath.
“There’s no pain here,” he assured her again. “I will never hurt you. I give my word on that.”
Her gaze lifted up his body to meet his intense, beautiful eyes. Sincerity shone in those dark depths and she really wanted to believe him enough to put faith in his word.
“You can touch me anywhere, explore anything, and I will remain still.”
Jill hesitated and then shifted on the bed, bending her knee, and turned to face him. Her other hand shook slightly when she reached over and firmly put her hand over his other thigh. She looked down, watching in amazement as his cock stiffened even more, rising straight up his belly.
“Go ahead,” he urged. “Have you ever touched a male’s sex?”
No. She bit her lower lip in nervousness when she concentrated on his stiff shaft. Her right hand slid up his thigh ever so slowly. When she nearly reached it, his cock moved, jerking slightly, and she froze.
“It’s a normal reaction. I’m very turned on. Your hands are incredibly gentle and nearly torturing me with wanting more.”
“You won’t knock me over, pin me down, and force me to take you?”
His mouth tensed. “No. I really want five minutes alone with the male who put that terror into your eyes.”
Her fear eased instantly and she smiled. “What would you do to the asshole?”
It was Coal’s turn to hesitate. “I don’t want to frighten you but I am capable of violence under certain circumstances. I’d love to hurt him the way he did you.”
Her eyebrows shot up and her sense of humor kicked in. “You want to pin him down and force yourself on him?”
His eyes rounded with horror. “No! I am not into forcing sex on anyone and males do not turn me on. I would wish to terrify him and cause him pain.”
She laughed, completely relaxing. “I was teasing.”
“It isn’t funny that a male harmed you.”
Her smile died. “I know. Sometimes I deal with pain by making jokes. It’s a defensive mechanism that’s kept me sane when times turned really bad.”
“I understand. Let’s forget about the…” He paused. “Asshole.”
Jill smiled again and lowered her attention to his cock. It surprised her how large he was, the darker gray color fascinating, and he had no hair there at all. Her hand moved, inching up until her fingertips brushed against the base of his shaft. He sucked in air but didn’t ask her to stop. She glanced up, saw his eyes were closed now and then she openly studied the part of the male anatomy that she’d dreaded the most.
Her hand brushed the shaft tentatively at first. It stunned her that the skin there felt so smooth and velvety, though he had turned incredibly hard with desire. He took a deep breath, kept his eyes closed, and she grew bolder by attempting to encircle his cock. Her finger and thumb couldn’t touch—his sex too thick for her to do that.
She released him and braced a hand on the bed when she shifted her position until she hovered over his lap on her knees. The muscles that ran along his stomach up to his rib cage were tense, thick ridges under h
is skin. Her hand flattened there to feel them, intrigued by his physique.
“I’ve never seen anyone like you.”
Dark eyes opened and met her gaze. “Cyborgs are different. I believe you’ll adjust to my coloring.”
“I meant how in shape you are. You’re really strong, aren’t you?”
His pink tongue darted out to swipe his lips while he watched her. “Yes. I’m noticeably stronger than human males.”
Her gaze drifted down his body and then stopped at her hand resting on his belly. “Do you have metal parts inside?” She looked at his face, hoping the question wouldn’t insult him.
“I have implants and some of my bones have been reinforced for hard labor.”
A shiver went down her spine at the idea of what must have been done to him. “I’m sorry. Did it hurt?”
He shrugged. “We were created in laboratories and I was fully grown to adult male size by the time they allowed us to become conscious. They had finished producing me by that stage.”
It sounded so cold and sterile to Jill. Sympathy for the big cyborg had her rubbing his skin again over his taut belly, this time in hopes of soothing the sad look that sparked in his beautiful eyes.
“I’m sorry. Earth Government does a lot of horrible things since the wars ended and the countries became united. I think they let all that power get to the bureaucrats until they really do have a God complex.”
“You aren’t old enough to have been a part of what was done to me and I’m grateful to be alive.” His face tensed, his lips pressing tightly together into a grim line. “My people are capable of hoarding power over the weaker class as well.”
Jill hesitated to pry but she really wanted to know. Coal watched her too and then took a deep breath. His grim look made her wonder what had put that angry expression there.
“More male cyborgs were made than female ones. They had problems early on that made them halt production of our females.”
“May I ask what that was?”
“Your males tried to use them for sex and when cyborg women fought back, they were killed. It wasn’t cost effective to spend money to create something that wouldn’t survive long enough to turn a profit.”
Jill pulled her hand away from him and sat back on the bed, horrified. “Oh God.”
Coal slowly sat up, careful not to startle her. “Cyborg females had difficult lives. There were very few of them compared to all the males and when we fled Earth their survival became our first priority.”
“Did a lot of you escape?”
“I won’t give you a number. I gave my word I’d free you and what you already know is far too much for Earth Government to learn.”
“I wouldn’t turn you in.” It hurt a little that Coal thought she would but then, she reminded herself, they didn’t know each other. “I swear.”
“I refuse to give you numbers.”
“Okay. It’s not important but I hope a lot of you did.” She meant it.
He watched her, studying her. His body relaxed after a few deep breaths. “I believe you.”
“Good. I know we’re different but you can trust me.”
Coal slowly reached out to her. She tensed up but his hand just covered hers. Warm, gentle fingers curved around the back of her hand. She noticed how much bigger his were compared to hers, dwarfing hers in his hold.
“Jill?”
Her gaze lifted. “Yes?”
He swallowed, his Adam’s apple bobbing. “We’re not so different and we have something in common.”
She couldn’t see it. They had drastically dissimilar pasts. She’d come from her mother’s womb—he’d come from a laboratory. She had pink skin and he had gray. She didn’t have reinforced bones, whatever that meant, but he did. They weren’t similar in size by a long shot.
“We have both been used for sex against our will. I was forced to be a breeder to our females. At first I agreed to the tests and to attempt intercourse with a few females to discover if we were able to breed. I enjoyed the sex at first but when two of the females were impregnated I realized the gravity of the consequences.”
“You have two kids?” For some reason she didn’t like hearing that.
“I only willingly helped create two. The rest were a result of forced donations from my body.”
Jill looked him over with a quick sweep. “You’re telling me some of your own women really forced you to have sex?” She couldn’t even imagine that. He had to be the biggest, strongest man she’d ever laid eyes on. She hadn’t really believed him when he’d said it before, chalking it up to a plot to gain her trust, but she didn’t think that way anymore. “You’re so big.”
“Our females are strong and I didn’t wish to kill them when we fought. They would attack me in groups, restrain me, and give me drugs to confuse my mind. When they ran out of drugs they operated to damage the implants in my head that allowed me to control my physical responses. They would torture me until my body complied. I could withhold any responses to the things they did to me until they damaged my implants.”
Mute, Jill gaped at him.
“The implants allowed me to deaden parts of my body. We were created to work for humans and the physical labor could be very painful at times. They didn’t want that to slow progression of our duties and the abilities to ignore any discomfort were deemed important. There were also risks of us being captured and they needed us to be impervious to pain if our captors attempted to torture company secrets from us. Of course we wouldn’t have been as useful for some of the tasks they’d assigned us if they’d just stripped us of all our nerve endings. It also became a way to punish us. They could remotely activate and deactivate the chips as needed by our supervisors. They would shut off the chips to beat us as punishment and make us suffer the resulting pain for days until we healed.”
Tears filled Jill’s eyes, momentarily blinding her. “What the hell did they do to you?”
“The females or Earth Government?”
She’d always thought she’d gotten a raw deal in life with losing her mother so young, having to be raised by an aunt who kept her in seclusion from other people for her protection, and then learning what kind of man her father had been. Of course her years with her ex-husband had been a nightmare but he’d fed her, kept her clothed, and hadn’t dared inflict much bodily harm except for the times he’d forced sex on her. Even then, while it hadn’t been enjoyable in the least, he hadn’t purposely caused her physical pain. He’d been more about terrifying her with threats to keep her under his control.
“Jill?”
“I’m just sorry you’ve had such a hard life.”
He studied her. “It has made me stronger and more determined to survive.”
She could relate to that. “The women…” She paused. “Did they really hurt you and humiliate you?”
He took a deep breath and then leaned in closer but didn’t touch her. “It depended on which female had use of me. The worst thing they did to me was damage my implants and force the donation of my sperm. I am happy good came out of it from the flourish of children produced to advance our race but it saddens me that I wasn’t permitted to know them. The females deemed me a slave and kept the children away from me at all times for fear that I might harm them. They feared I was capable of that since I didn’t want to be used in that manner but I never would have done that. They are a part of me physically and therefore I would have done anything to protect the children from harm.”
Questions filled her mind—so many she didn’t know where to start. Coal spoke before she could ask any of them.
“I had to be secured flat on my back on a bed for them to torture as needed. They realized quickly that great bodily harm would make my body tense and cause adrenaline spikes that gave me erections. Earth Government had taught us how to inflict great pain while leaving no lasting physical damage. Once the pain became too much and they got the physical reaction they wanted, they would mount me until they got my seed. Every time they would com
e inside the room where they kept me I’d know hopelessness and dread of what would happen. Occasionally they had to allow me up to avoid sores forming where my skin never left the bed they kept me chained to. If I was lucky, occasionally they believed I had become less threatening and too weak to attack. I managed to escape a few times when they grew lax on the number of guards assigned to take me to the river.”
He paused, watching Jill. She couldn’t speak. The horror of what he said sank in.
“There were months when I’d be free until their hunting parties would find me again. When my brother cyborgs rescued us from the planet we’d crashed on and realized my circumstances, they freed me from the females. The females no longer have control over my body but they of course retained the children who were created by my sperm.”
Jill didn’t think, just reacted. She reached up and cupped his cheek, stared into his beautiful eyes, and blinked back tears that threatened to blind her. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.”
His eyes widened in surprise and his hand lifted to her cheek to gently brush away a tear that slid down her face. When he spoke, he whispered, “You shed tears for me?”
She nodded. “Don’t you ever cry?”
He pulled away from her touch and dropped his hand on the bed near her thigh. “A physical expression does not change the circumstances in my life or wash away the memories I must live with.”
“Aren’t you bitter?”
He shifted on the bed and looked away from her, shaking his head. “It would be a useless emotion that would only allow me to dwell on the wrongs committed against me. I wish to one day get past it and obtain a fulfilling life.” He cleared his throat. “I must make the best of what has been done to me since there’s no way to repair the damage to my implants.”
His strength impressed her and it went far beyond his muscled body. “You’re amazing.”
He frowned and met her gaze again. “How so?”
She wasn’t sure how to explain it to him. “You just are.”
He gave her a perplexed look and she knew he didn’t understand. She tried to find a way to express it to him. “When I got free of my ex-husband, I flat-out hated all men and swore them off. You’ve dealt with so much more and yet you haven’t hurt or taken it out on me for what was done to you. You could. You have me at your mercy.”