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“You know, I finished reading your books. ”
The pain traveled to her neck. “And?”
“I’m quite pleased with how you’ve portrayed Dimitri. ” He shoved his hands in his pockets and leaned against one side of the doorframe. “I can see why your fans love him. ”
“So the fact that I’m continuing the series isn’t a deal breaker for you?”
“Do you want it to be?”
She hesitated, mulling over the answers that would make him stay or possibly jumpstart his departure. “I don’t want to stop writing something I love. ” The light in his impossibly beautiful eyes dimmed. “But I don’t want to hurt you either. ”
“I might have overreacted to your confession. ” One side of his mouth curved up and the pain inside of her eased. “And I don’t want to hurt you either. You don’t need my permission to write anything. Just…you hurt me. ”
“I know,” she said. “Where does that leave us?”
His smile became wicked. “It leaves me with the expectation that Dimitri will remain your fans’ favorite and not that do-gooder Joshua. ”
“Oh, you do?” She hadn’t realized how much she needed his forgiveness, his acceptance and understanding until this moment.
“Dimitri is based on me, after all. ” He wriggled his brows at her, then moved to stand behind her. His hands came down on her shoulders, massaging her back and working out knots she didn’t know existed. “He licked her quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog? I’ve never heard the female anatomy described quite like that. ”
“What?” She glanced at her screen. Sure enough she’d written that sentence about ten times in a row, in the middle of a love scene. “Oh that. I always type something silly when I have writer’s block. ”
“There are other ways to get inspired. ”
“Like?” she asked, then it dawned on her. “Christian!”
“Just trying to help. ” His thumbs continued to move in lazy circles. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
“About what?” she hedged, knowing the subject had moved from fictional characters to them. And that night.
He swiveled her chair around and kneeled before her. “That it was your first time. ”
“I did tell you. ” She crossed her arms over her chest.
“As faulty as a man’s memory can be, I am actually quite certain I would have remembered the words ‘I am a virgin’ coming out of your mouth. ” He took her cold hands in his and rubbed her knuckles. “I was stone cold sober that night. First time in years. Unfortunately, my sobriety didn’t last long. ”
She shifted in her chair. “I told you I’d never done that before. Right before you, um… Oh, you know!” Her cheeks heated and she hated it. Hated how he made her feel like a child while he was some worldly man. Which he was, but she wasn’t an ingénue.
He lifted her hands to his lips. The soft stubble above his full upper lip tickled her skin. “I wish I could go back and do things differently. ”
She frowned. “Why, so you can tell me that you never would have slept with me if you’d known, or you would have brought your A Game?”
“I always bring my A Game, no matter what. ” He looked so outraged she believed him.
“Get to your point,” she said, ready for this mockery of a waiting game to be over. Ready for him to say that putting up with her, her family and her life wasn’t worth the headache she’d tried to so hard to give him.
“From now on, you have to be completely honest with me. No more playing games, no more shagging me silly so you don’t have to talk to me. ” His forehead wrinkled as he grimaced. “I take that one back. You may shag me silly any time you like, but—and it pains me greatly to say this—sex isn’t enough. ” He tapped her head. “I want what’s hiding in there. I want your wit. I want your thoughts. I want you to put me in my place when I need it. Deflate my enormous ego when it can’t fit through the front door. I want all of you, not parts and pieces. ”
“What if I can’t give you that?” Her fear of being rejected her a third time almost too much to live with each day.
“You can. It’s a matter of choice, and to show you how much I trust and respect you, there’s something you have to know. Two things, actually. ”
She braced for the worst, fully expecting to find out that he had been with someone else during their separation. Or that he had a love child hidden away somewhere. Good Lord, she was losing her mind.
“Do you remember those pictures I told you about?”
Clutching the arms of her desk chair tight, she nodded.
“They’ve gone viral, but the media is speculating on whether it’s me or Sebastian. ”
Her stomach twisted. For him. For her.
“But I didn’t find out about them until after I’d gotten here. Two days after getting here to be exact. It’s very important to me that you to know with absolute certainty that I didn’t come here looking for you to save my career or my chances with B. T. S. ”
She unglued her tongue from the top of her mouth. His statement would be so easy to verify, but if she was going to trust him, she would have to take him at his word. “What was the second?”
“Sasha was the reason, well part of the reason, why we never connected that day. The complete asshole to a fan—all my doing. I took out my frustrations on you. Not excusing my behavior, but Jaylen had shown up and I was anxious to get rid of her before you got there. It didn’t help that you were late. ”
“I couldn’t help it. ” She pulled away and brushed a strand of hair away from her face.
“I know, sweetheart. Sasha told me that he paid the hairdresser to take his time and somehow managed to block your calls. Or re-route them. ” He rose to his feet and offered her his hand. “I was waiting for you. Only you. I’d been waiting for you to come back to me since, but—”
“You mean Amber, not me. ” Hard to believe she could be jealous of herself.
“No, I want the woman sitting in front of me, not the girl from my memories. Come to bed with me. ”
She hesitated, but his hand remained in its place, outstretched and waiting for hers.
“We’re meant to be together, love. No matter what side of the ocean we’re on or how my father plots to keep us apart. Take a chance on loving me. ”
“You had me at ‘Watch it, Miss Wood Sprite’. ” She took his hand, letting him lead her to the bedroom.
She kissed him as soon as they entered the room, her lips missing their mark when he held her away. “Why won’t you kiss me?”
“I want to spend some time with you. ”
“How does kissing not equal that?” she asked, nibbling at the base of his neck. A low groan escaped his lips and she smiled. “Give in to me. ”
He turned from her, grabbing something off of her dresser before facing her again. Holding up her new iPad, he tilted from side to side. “‘Angry Birds’, anyone?”
“Fine. ” She jumped on the bed and fell back against the pillows.
“Are you pouting?”
“No. ”
“You are,” he laughed.
She glared at him, then sighed. “We need snacks. ”
“I’ll be back with sustenance. ” He returned in less than five minutes with a tray of goodies and joined her on the bed. “You know, this reminds me of our tenth date. ” Christian popped a grape into his mouth.
“My very own personal aloe spreader,” she laughed. “Every woman’s dream. ”
“Did you know I always wanted a dog? But my father never let us have one. Said we didn’t have time for it. I suspect he knew animals hated him. He had a stallion named Diablo and the damn thing was mean as hell. Vlad was the only one who could ride him. ”
“You tried anyway, right?”
“Broke my arm in two places. ” He pointed out two spots on his left arm. “Had to learn to do everything with my right hand. Guess that’s
why I’m ambidextrous. Still favor the left though. ”
She sucked in air through her teeth. “That had to hurt. ”
“It was worth it. All things worth having are,” he said, making her aware of how close he’d scooted to her.
“Jenny Barnes runs the animal shelter out on Highway 64 and she’s always looking for prospective parents. We could go check it out sometime, but I think we should start with a plant,” she said without thinking and his smile became brilliant. “What?”
He tapped her nose. “You said we. ”
She looked down at their game. “Are you sure you’re not here because your dad has made me forbidden fruit?” The words slipped out before she could contain them. She cringed, waiting for his answer.
He lifted her chin to meet his eyes. “That’s a fair question given the dynamic of our relationship. But no, I’m not here because of him. I’m here because I want to be with you. Because I love you and if I have to remind you of it a million times a day, I will. ”
“Gabriel and I said that to each other all of the time. I thought I meant it, but I’ve come to realize just how precious those words can be. I don’t want you to just say them. ”
“My sexy word-woman will forever be all about action, eh?”
She nodded as he followed the curves of her lips with his fingertip.
“Give me a second. ” He left the bed and disappeared into their closet. “When you’re ready to tell me that you love me and want me to stay, wear this,” he said, emerging with her ring sparkling in his hands. Opening the jewelry box on her dresser, he placed it inside. “The ball’s in your court, sweetheart. ”
She held out her arms to him. “Thank you. ”
He gently covered her mouth with his own, pulling her to him. She heard the iPad crash to the floor as she rolled under him. His hands fisted in her hair. She clutched at his broad shoulders. Helping him take off shirt, she couldn’t stop kissing him. His chest. His throat. His ears. Which she had to nibble on, because it made him groan and grow harder between her thighs.
“You are an enchantress,” he whispered.
“And you are my fantasy,” she sighed.
He stripped away her pajamas and threw them across the room. Skin on skin met and slid together. His muscled, lean body meeting hers as they took turns being on top, under and finally, Christian laying on his side behind her, his arms around her body and holding her close as he filled her with deep-seated thrusts. “Widen your thighs, love. ”
She draped a leg over his and he pressed deeper. She tried bearing back against him but it was of no use, he refused to go any faster.
“Give me more,” she cried out.
He pressed open-mouth kisses along her neck and cupped her breasts. “I want to take my time loving you. ”
“You have me forever. ” The words were straight from her heart.
“It’s not long enough,” he said, his hips tilting up and making her moan.
She loved the feel of his thighs against her, the way the muscles of his arms bunched under her cheek when he moved. His scent stole over her, arousing her further, but no matter how much she wiggled against him he wouldn’t increase the steady rhythm he’d set.
One of his hands trailed down to the juncture between her thighs, his fingers parting and finding where she throbbed the most with ease. “Give me your hand,” he murmured. She did and he laced her fingers with his. “This is what you should do when I can’t be with you. ” He took her fingers and used them to brush at her damp folds.
“Oh my God…that feels so…” Her words escaped in a rush of air.
“You’re blushing, aren’t you?”
“Maybe a little. ” It wasn’t as though she’d never done this before, but him watching and stroking along with her, made her entire body come alive. “Is that something you like for a woman to do?”
“No, it’s what you do, so I like it. ” He pressed their fingers firmly against her, and she trembled. “I like, no, love that, too. I love your sweet moans, the way your eyes darken when you find your release and the decadent curves of your body. ”
“Maybe you should be the writer,” she laughed, then moaned again when he began to thrust faster.
“I’m content being your lover,” he said, his voice sinfully wicked. He quit flexing his hips, holding himself completely still inside of her.
“Why’d you stop?” Frustrated once more, she tried to take matters into her own hands and switch their positions, but his arms tightened around her like bands of steel.
“Because I want your complete attention. With you trapped, you can’t run away from me. ” His lips brush the base of her neck and the back of her head. “Why me, love? Why did you choose to be with me?”
“It was your kiss. The one at New Year’s. I’d never been kissed like that in my life. And it was like the Fourth of July. Like seeing the ocean for the first time. Like the first submersion in hot bath water. All of that rolled into one kiss. ” Despite being firmly impaled by his arousal, she felt a certain bitter-sweetness steal over her. “The second time, when we danced, it was like we fit together so perfectly. I couldn’t deny my feelings. Which at the time I thought were borderline crazy. Who falls in love at first sight, anyway?”
He brushed the side of her face with his fingers, turning her to face him. “Me. ” His smile was tender, the look in his eyes adoring before he closed them and pressed his lips, feathery light, over hers. “You were my dream come true. An angel sent to me. Completely mine and mine alone. I remember every touch, every sigh, the feel of your soft hands as they clutched at my arms. The way your back arched when I first thrust into you. Your perfect breasts and delectable nipples. Jesus, Zoe, you brought me to my knees that night. I worshiped you. You were my personal goddess. Every woman has been weighed and measured against you. They all fell short. Again and Again. ” He searched her face, his expression intense. “And now…”