Chapter 5
An Unexpected Guest
Hey, wake up.
Hullo, anybody home?
Oh come on, kid... this is serious!
Zack slowly began to stir. He could feel a throbbing pain beginning to swirl around his head. Slowly, he looked from side to side. It was dark, his surroundings seeming like that of a small room? He could tell that the walls were of rock. And above, only a window secured with iron allowed light to pass through?
‘Where I’m I?’ he began, ‘what happened...Suzie, are you alright?!’
‘Hey, do I look like “Suzie” to you, kiddo?’
He looked to his side. Whoever it was, it certainly wasn’t Suzan?
‘Hey, who are you?’ he asked, a tiny woman seeming to float before him, ‘what’s going on and what have you done with my friend?!’
‘Would you keep it down already,’ she said, a pair of wings fluttering swift as she moved, ‘do you want to get us caught or something? Some of us around here are trying to escape, Mister!’
Zack felt as though he was in a dream, ‘but I’m...?’ he tried, daring to believe the possibility that she was a fairy? ‘And you’re...? – Oh this can’t be happing?’
‘You’re telling me, kiddo, one little credit problem and the world goes crazy...who knew?’ She shifted from side to side, checking to see if the coast was clear, ‘by the way; the names Cara, Cara of the Celtic Meadows – And you are?’
‘Zack,’ he said confusedly.
‘Zack, that’s... what kind of name is that?!’ The moment paused awkwardly, ‘I mean don’t get me wrong, it’s cool and all? But it’s just that I thought it would be something a little bit more like, Sebastian? You know, long, poetic, mysterious – fits the profile of a washed up unknown calling out for his damsel in distress.’ She floated to his side for a closer inspection, ‘so, what are you in for?’ She waved her hands, ‘no, let me guess; the old misdemeanour – unpaid parking ticket... or was it something a little bit more “up–scale”?’
‘I was looking for Suzie; we were shipwrecked. There were shadows, a forest turning to stone?’ replied Zack while rubbing his head, ‘I must have passed out after that? I can’t remember?’
‘Great, talk about a conversation killer,’ she said, ‘of all the cells and people to be shacked up with, I get the kid with apparent memory loss?’
‘Alright, just what is going on around here?!’ asked Zack, ‘Where am I and how did I get here?!’
‘If I tell you will you keep that annoying mouth of yours quiet?’ asked Cara, not wishing to attract any unwanted attention, ‘Seriously, what’s a girl have to do to get a break around here?’
‘Fine,’ agreed Zack, ‘but this better be good...’
‘Gee, talk about pressure,’ she began, ‘Okay – for those of us who have temporally lost their minds – this is Rock Fall Castle. A great fortress carved out of the highest peak of the highest mountain. It’s ruled by a Dark Lord with the same old plans of world domination. And we, old buddy, old pal, are how you might say… held captive.’ Calmly, she examined her fingernails, ‘not that it is a big deal or anything, but some of us would like to escape before we meet with an untimely end, understand?’
However, before Zack could reply, an old door creaked in its opening from the far side of the room? Shadows moved beneath a flickering light. And as a deep voice spoke, Zack tightened his eyes in an effort to see who had now entered the room?
‘You’re not suppose to discuss plans of escape with visitors without the correct paperwork,’ it said, ‘I have not been informed, and I certainly do not have an escape permit for cell – I mean, room – 315 today?’
‘Hey, what’s with the fairies repression?’ asked Cara furiously, ‘Sister can’t afford a permit so you think that you can keep her tush in lockup, is that it?!’ Swiftly she turned to Zack, ‘have you got a permit... nobody told me anything about needing a permit?’
‘Wait, this can’t be real?’ said Zack, rising to his feet, ‘the last time I checked, fairies didn’t exactly exist?’
Franticly, Cara dazzled through the air, ‘you can’t just say something like that; why, because somewhere, right now, a fairy has just dropped dead!’ She snapped her fingers, ‘just like that, and it could have been me, Mister!’
‘What are you talking about?’
‘Beats me, kid, I just read it in a book somewhere?’ she replied innocently, ‘besides, if I’m supposedly a figment of your imagination, then what do you call that?’ She pointed toward the flickering light, whispering with conviction, ‘not exactly “the norm” now is it, kid?’
A green hand raised its lantern to a point where it illuminated the entire room.
Zack was definitely in a cell? And the figure that stood at the doorway was definitely not a person too?
‘Look, kid, it’s mostly bald with some sort of plaited ponytail,’ continued Cara, ‘pointy ears with bits missing, big black eyes, a crooked nose and little husks sticking out from the bottom of its mouth.’ She pressed herself firmly against his cheek, ‘brace yourself, kiddo, bad breath comes as a standard feature with these bad boys, no premium required.’
Zack seemed puzzled, ‘what is it?’ he asked.
‘That my little friend is an Orc,’ said Cara, ‘and let me tell you, he’s pretty tame compared to the rest?’
‘Yap, it’s true... I’m an orc,’ said the orc.
He felt that all the best lines had been taken.
‘Alright, I get the point,’ said Zack wearily, ‘but this still doesn’t make any sense? I have no idea why I’m here? There must be some mistake...all I know is that I need to find Suzie?!’
‘Suzie?’ tried the orc, ‘I don’t know anyone named Suzie?’
Zack turned to Cara, not seeming convinced, ‘don‘t look at me, kid,’ she replied, ‘you’re the one whose lost his marbles?’
‘Just let me go,’ said Zack, ‘you have no right to hold me here!’
‘Yeah, now you’re talking my kind of language kid,’ said Cara, ‘we demand a retrial... or, at least a trial?’
‘Trial?’ asked the orc.
Cara folded her arms, ‘let me guess, there’s a permit for that too?’
‘Well...’ began the orc, not sure if it was wise to answer her question, ‘if there is nothing else, I mustn’t neglect my other prisoners – I mean, guests.’ He twiddled his thumbs nervously, ‘that is, of course, if you would like a permit?’
There was an obvious silence about the air. He could tell that it was time for a hasty retreat.
‘Eh, never mind,’ he said quickly while fumbling to close the door, ‘I’ll just... and you have a nice incarceration...I mean stay, you have yourself a nice stay...why would I say incarceration? I don’t know why I even said that?’
Thud!
The door closed firmly, almost rattling with nerves.
‘Hey,’ screeched Cara to the lone echoes that remained, ‘you forgot fresh towels?’
In hindsight, she had to admit, it was a rather embarrassing comment.
‘Great, I just can’t believe any of this is really happening?’ said Zack, ‘First I get shipwrecked, then I end up losing Suzie, chased by shadows and now... I’m stuck here with you?’
‘Hey, don’t you dare put this on me kid,’ replied Cara, ‘if you would have just woken up when I needed you then...’ She paused for a moment, ‘did you say “chased by shadows?”’
‘Yes, shadows; in the stone forest...’
‘There’s that word again... “Shadows”?’
‘I know, I thought it sounded crazy at first?’
‘Kid, I want you to think real carefully; when you said shadows, what exactly did you mean – your friend was taken by these shadows?’
‘My head’s still a little bit funny...’ he tried, ‘something about taking her to the falls; a princess, I think?’
‘The Bounty?!’ gasped Cara, ‘Guard, Guard, I want a new roommate!’ she yelled hysterically, ‘I’
m guilty; I tell you anything you want to know...just get me out of here!’
‘Why, what’s wrong?!’ asked Zack worriedly.
‘Someone call the coroner’s office, tell them I’ll come quietly!’ she yelled, ‘You’re really not from around here are you?’
‘Would you just tell me what is going on?!’
‘Whatever your friend was into she’s in real big trouble, kid. The Bounty are shadowed beings, form the past, the future, somewhere in–between, who knows? Summoned by a dark force, they hunt for their prey and they let nothing stand in their way – Not the kind of people you cross and live to talk about it, know what I’m saying?’
‘But why would they take Suzie?’ he asked, ‘Why didn’t they take me too?’
‘They deal in the high–end market,’ she replied, ‘and a princess is valuable bounty in these parts.’
‘But Suzie’s not a princess...?’
‘She’s not?’ thought Cara, ‘Oh my God, we’re all going to die... Guard, Guard, say it ain’t so! – You roll some crazy dice my friend. When they realise that they have been duped, it’s curtains for everyone involved, capiche?’
‘Duped?’ thought Zack, ‘No, no, you’ve got it all wrong, we never duped anybody? It must be some kind of misunderstanding, that’s all?’
‘Save it for your headstone pal, I’m getting out of here.’
‘Headstone...?’ Zack didn’t like the sound of that, ‘you’ve got to help me, I have to save Suzie before it’s too late?!’
‘Why me kid, go check out the asylum wing,’ cried Cara, ‘I’m sure there’s someone crazy enough to help you down there?’
‘But I don’t know this world like you do,’ he tried, ‘I need your help...I need to get to the Falls!’
‘Sorry, kid, you’re on your own with this...Guard, Guard? I mean seriously... what’s a sister have to do to get some room service around here?’ She turned sharply, ‘throwing yourself to the lion’s den, now that’s just crazy talk. I’m putting some distance between me and you – six by four next wing down, comprenda?!’
‘Look, I just wish you’d...’
‘Oh, no–no–no,’ she screeched worriedly, ‘don’t you dare think about doing what it is I think you’re about to do?!’
‘I wish you’d...’
‘Enough with the wishing business already…?!’
‘I wish...’
‘Don’t you dare...?’
‘I really wish you would just help me?!’
‘Damn it!’
A magical sensation began to overwhelm Cara of the Celtic Meadows? Her fingers and toes tingled. Her hair became fizzy and her eyes lit as she embraced the wish of a pure heart.
Cue one fairy and a bucket load of fearless attitude – ‘Hell no?!’ – Well, maybe not so fearless, but unfortunately very much full of attitude.
‘Just great, now look at what you’ve gone and done?’ she fumed, ‘I was standing here minding my own business, when you had to make a wish?!’ She folded her arms in a huff. Apparently, she wasn’t the wishful type, ‘I hope you’re happy, Kiddo, I really do.’
‘What do you mean?’ asked Zack nervously.
‘A pure heart wishes upon the sight of a fairy; granted it shall be as you are bound to I and I to you, till what’s done is done,’ she replied disapprovingly, ‘Thanks a lot kid, now I’m right in the thick of it. It’s like The Iron Mask meets The Fairy Who Knew Too Little... I’m doomed?’
‘Well, aren’t you going to wave your hand about or something,’ he asked, ‘you know, get us out of here?’
‘Do I look like the Fairy Godmother to you? Some blue genie locked away in a damn lamp...I don’t thing so?!’ she replied grumpily, ‘Besides, I’m fresh out of credit and I don’t see a Top–Up Station anywhere around here, do you?’
‘Credit?’
‘Yeah, I use to go bill,’ she replied, ‘but when you’re a struggling actress in search of a role, you wouldn’t believe how it adds up?’ Dusting her palms off, she began to be a little more helpful, ‘alright, I guess we could do this the old fashion way? But I want it noted that I am doing this under due protest; I ain’t the kind of “C’ est la vie” sister, you got that pal?’
‘The old fashion way?’
‘I can’t believe I’m doing this? I mean, who ever heard of a magical fairy anyway?’ she mumbled to herself before continuing, ‘I think I could squeeze through that small gap in the bottom of the door. Then, I could pop the lock from the outside?’
It seemed as good a plan as any. Besides, it wasn’t like he had a choice.
A few moments later... the lock seemed to be giving trouble?
Apparently, from Zack’s understanding, a more shall we say “diplomatic” approach was required.
“Why you little…?!”
Truly, is there anything more annoying than a stubborn lock?
In a cave hidden beyond the flow of a great waterfall, Suzan sat within a cage. It was hung high from the ground, and below, her captors gathered around a campfire. Apparently, there had been a slight misunderstanding? But for your everyday hostage taker – with the exception of a question mark – the silhouette portrait on the side of their morning milk carton was uncannily lifelike?
‘For the last time,’ she said, ‘I’m not the princess that you’re looking for, now let me go!’
‘I don’t get it,’ said one of her captors, ‘most young girls would love to be a princess? Always they say; please Mr. Troll, take me. I can be your princess, and let a brave knight in shining armour come to my rescue.’ Wearily, the Troll shook his head, ‘I’m blue in the face asking for credentials. But this one, she’s a right unwilling one, she is?’
‘Oh come on, there has been a dreadful misunderstanding,’ pleaded Suzan, ‘I’m not even dressed like a princess...you have to let me go!’
‘That’s how you know that you have a real keeper,’ said another troll, ’princesses don’t exactly advertise that they are who they say they are when travailing about.’
‘It’s always the ones you least suspected,’ agreed the next, ‘hiding in plain sight, right under your noise, eh? Two things you must learn in this game; the higher the value the less likely to notice. And the second is that they always travel with a male companion; a prince to keep them safe. You, my dear Lady, fit both criteria wouldn’t you say?’
‘Besides, the Bounty would not have brought you here if they didn’t think that you were a real princess,’ said another.
‘And just who are the “Bounty”?’ she asked.
The trolls seemed to share a sense of amusement?
‘We are the Bounty!’
‘It’s more of an image thing really,’ said one, ‘we’ve been spreading rumours for years. All about shadowed creatures roaming the land, taking anyone they dare... never to be seen again.’
‘And should a brave knight foolishly come to their rescue,’ began the next, ‘only the fate of a thousand terrible souls would await them.’
‘It works a charm every time,’ added the last, ‘so you can forget about your prince charming. But don’t worry... we took good care of him for you.’
‘Aye, he fetched a fair price I must say,’ said one of the other trolls, tossing a small coin bag with his hand, ‘quite the short time investment, eh?’
‘Zack,’ feared Suzan, ‘what have you done with him?’
‘Never you mind mill Lady’ he continued, ‘we’ll soon have your ransom demanded ready. In the meantime, you just sit tight and think about where you want us to send it – or where you’d like to end up?’
The thing about trolls was that they always received their ransom. The calculations of which were based on value of cargo, location and current market price. Unfortunately, you could never really count on such an asset materialising beyond the paper of deed.
Suzan fell back in her cage. This was not good, not good at all.
Cara struggled in convincing the lock to open. But suddenly, in the midpoint of the r
oom a trapdoor popped up. Suspiciously, five dwarves raised their heads above ground?
‘I mean seriously, could this day get any worse?’ she said with surprise, ‘I just knew this kid would be trouble?’
The chief dwarf climbed to the forefront, ‘you will have to forgive our untimely intrusion. I am Droc son of Oric, Chief of our party and founder of our schemes – with due respect to the Dwarven Council and their generous funding, I must add.’ He cleared his throat nervously before continuing, ‘we, Madam, are on what you might call a covert mission so to speak.’ Promptly his mighty fellows stepped forward, ‘this is Airtu son of Airmit our mapmaker. Samif son of Tams our thief and appointed mentor to, Earru son of Sorc. And last but by no means least, Morku son of Tork, our locksmith. These are my companions, and of course... the bravest warriors chosen of our land.’
‘We have come here with the intentions of reclaiming this castle and all its riches on behalf of our forefathers’,’ added Airtu, ‘of course we must slay a dragon to achieve such a task first.’ He looked from side to side, ‘you haven’t seen one around here lately, have you?’
Cara shrugged, ‘no, I don’t think so...?’ she said bemusedly.
The dwarves sighed with relief, ‘oh thank the Gods for that,’ said Droc, ‘it was really more of a minor detail that we were hoping to avoid. You know dragons, fire, devilish foe and all that. Apparently, they can be quite a handful so they say?’
‘And you, Madam,’ asked Samif son of Tams, ‘why might you be here, if I may ask?’
‘Oh you know, same old, same old,’ began Cara, ‘one day the world is your oyster, next you’re trying escape a dark fortress while helping some kid to find a “princess”.’ She waved of her hand, feeling a bit flustered, ‘stubborn lock, I’m afraid that it’s got me all hot and bothered.’
The dwarves glance at the lock.
‘What, you’d swear you’d never seen a luoc’ before? Tis that or you’d be wonderin’ if ah’d be wearin’ anythin’ under me wee kilt!’ it yelled, ‘get lost, you’ll not be gettin’ me to open!’
For a moment they wondered if it was trying to communicate?
Nevertheless, there it grumbled and swung for all to see. Strangely, it bore a great resemblance to an old fashion lock, in a sort of sculpted modern art piece way that is. A 17th century Scottish Highlander, formed of some skewed–like jigsaw puzzle with each segment placed quite abnormally. And much like its self, it seemed to be a complete rebellion against logic?
They would have to tread carefully.
‘Oh dear, it’s a Magical Lock,’ claimed Morku.
‘You don’t say?!’ remarked the Magical Lock.
‘See what I mean?’ said Cara, ‘And after all the trouble I went through to get these keys?’
‘Oh no, Madam, you don’t use a key with a Magical Lock,’ replied Morku, ‘you have to befriend them; that’s how it works.’
‘Well aren’t you the smart one, statin’ the obvious,’ it said, ‘ah’m not too hard of hearin’ you know...get lost, you’ll not be befriendin’ me!’
‘That fool’s myth about befriending a Magical Lock; I mean, who ever heard of such nonsense?’ mocked Samif son of Tams, ‘the only reason someone would put one of those wretched things onto anything, is to keep something of great value safe from harm.’
‘Which begs the question?’ said Droc with interest, ‘A person I believe you said?’
‘Yeah, yeah, Kid, Princess – taken to some Falls – needs rescuing,’ mumbled Cara unmindfully while fussing with the Magical Lock, ‘seriously, what are the odds of a talking lock?’
Quickly, Droc huddled his might fellows to the side, ‘if we help rescue this princess,’ he said rather excitedly, ‘the reward for such would be far greater than our current scheme?’
‘But what about reclaiming our forefather’s castle?’ asked Earru.
‘That’s just pep–talk really,’ he replied innocently, ‘overcome, adapted, improvise and all that? No, a quest such as this could put us in the big–time. No more giant spiders trying to eat us. No more endless adventures with nothing to show for it. One rescue mission and our days as common folk are over. Besides, this way we would certainly avoid any encounter with a dragon while, I might add... reaping the rewards nonetheless – How hard could it be?’
When it came to the mention of a “princess” this misunderstanding business was starting to become contagious?
Cara seemed innocently unaware.
‘All agreed...?’
‘Hear! Hear!’
It was settled.
‘My equally companion and most fair lady,’ began Droc politely, ‘upon your great scheme you will be in need of many a fellow who is brave and strong. So if I may, my fellows and I would like to offer our skills, of which, we will retain the wrights to fifty per cent of all riches incurred throughout your quest, naturally. But of course, only if you would be so kind as to do us the honour in accepting?’ Airtu speciously nudging his side, ‘oh and... dental care,’ he added embarrassingly, ‘you can’t be too careful these days, eh?’
‘I’ll make you a deal,’ replied Cara, ‘if you can get this lock to open... it’s all yours.’
‘You could try some kind of negotiation?’ suggested Morku, ‘It may help?’
‘Great, this is what my colourful career has been reduced to; mediation with the local freak show?’ she moaned before turning her attention back to the Magical Lock, ‘okay, Mister, how do you want to play this? And make it snappy before I call in the big guns, understand?’
The dwarves did their best to look menacing. It wasn’t really impressive.
‘Ach, so you want to forge terms and conditions do you now wee lassie,’ said the Magical Lock, ‘you’ll not take such tone with me so easily I can tell you.’
‘Why you little...’
‘Perhaps you may allow me?’ interrupted Morku, feeling the need to step in. ‘If you were to help my associate here,’ he said, ‘then maybe there might be something that we could do for you, in order to bring about a more peaceful resolution?’
‘Well...’ thought the Magical Lock for a moment, ‘there maybe one wee favour you could do for me?’
‘Of course...’
‘And a’d hold you to your word forevermore?’
‘Should your allegiance be true, naturally?’
‘Ach, well it’s me clan,’ it began, ‘I’ll not say what they’ve done, but they’ve only gone and got them wee selves into a bit of bother, aye. I need to find them, but if you help me then I’ll help you... Take it or leave it, but that’s the wee hand and let no papers pass through it, aye.’
‘What kind of trouble,’ he asked, ‘surely I must know?’
‘Ach you know,’ it began awkwardly, ‘this an’ that – they cannot help it – but not a mark compared to your wee friend; he’s in a right jam he is.’
Morku looked for Cara’s approval, ‘do we have a choice?’ she asked unwillingly. The truth seemed slim. ‘Fine, but I’m putting myself out on a limb here; Never work with animals; Never work it kids, and most definitely never, ever, work with Magical Locks. Forget the empire, this could spell the end for me right here?’
‘Ach, good lassie for it’s agreed!’ said the Magical Lock with delight, jumping to the ground with arms and legs sprouting from its sides, ‘now, give me a wee hand to open this door.’
‘Well don’t just stand there,’ yelled Cara, ‘get a move on!’
Swiftly, the dwarves jumped into action, lifting a large wooden beam which ran the length of the doorway before pushing in the cell door. Slowly it swung into the darkness as Zack stepped into the light.
‘What took you so long,’ he asked, ‘and who are these people?’
‘Hey, this is what happens when you make a crazy wish,’ she replied, ‘before you know it you’ve got one fairy, five unwitting heroes and some skirt wearing freak for company.’ With not a moment to lose, she eyed the near passageway, ‘come on... let’s just get o
ut of here before someone comes back.’
In truth what could Zack really do? For now he would play his part, at least until he could find Suzan.
Promptly, Morku reached for the trapdoor. However, its handle seemed to be located on the underside? While under the displeased gaze of Cara, Droc shook his head with embarrassment.
To be fair, he never said that he was good at his job... it was just that the subject never came up.