CHAPTER XII
HOW MR. JORDAN COULD NOT RUN COUNTER TO THE COURSE OF NATURE
I know not yet (and I thank Heaven for my ignorance) what may be thepeculiar weakness of old age, though I suspect it to lie in anexcessive regard for life; but of youth I have proved it to be acontempt of life; which, despite the philosophic ring of the phrase, Ido affirm to be a fault, though I am willing to allow that I mean acontempt, not of our own, but of another man's life, and a surprisethat he should hold dear so vulgar a commodity.
Thus, as I walked away from the house of Idonia, I pondered long andcarefully the small account that Mr. Malpas was of, and could notconceive how he had the monstrous impudency to cling so tight as he didto the habit of living, which (as a soiled shirt) he might well enoughhave now been content to exchange. Indeed, the more I thought upon thematter, the greater increased my sense of the absurdity that such a manshould claim his share of the world, or rather (to select the essentialquality of my complaint) his share of that corner of Thames Streetwhere Idonia lived, which goeth by the name of Petty Wales. Fromthence, at all hazards, I was determined to exclude him. For had notIdonia said: "I fear him"? and that was enough for me. Indeed itseemed to elevate my jealousy into an obligation of chivalry, merely toremember that sallow-faced swaggerer that said he loved her. SimonPowell should have fitted me with some knight's part, methought, amidsthis Peredurs and Geraints, and I would have proved myself worthy as thebest of them.
But that was all very well. It was past ten o'clock, and when I got toLondon Bridge I found it barred against me and the watch within thegate-house snoring. I knocked twice or thrice pretty hard and atlength woke the watch; but so angered was he at thus losing of hissleep, besides that he thought perhaps to recover upon his lateremissness, that he flew into an unnecessary zeal of watchfulness,swearing I was some vagabond rogue, and, bidding me begone, shut thewicket in my face. In vain did I endeavour to make myself known,bawling my name through the gate, and Mr. Nelson's too; the porter hadreturned to his interrupted repose, and nothing on earth would move himagain, for that night at least.
So after having launched one or two such observations as I thoughtbefitted the occasion, I made the best of it I could, and turned awayto seek for some cleanly house of receipt where I might pass theremainder of the night. Some while I spent in ranging hither andthither, without happening on such an hostelry as did please me (for Iconfess to a niceness in these matters); but at length, coming into aplace where two streets met, I found there a very decent quiet housethat answered to my wishes so well that I immediately entered andbespoke a chamber for the night. Here I slept exceeding soundly, andin the morning awoke, though yet sore from my scratches, yet otherwiserefreshed and cheerful.
The better part of the travellers that had lain there were already upand away ere I arose, so that I had the room to myself almost, whereinI broke my fast, and, save for the lad that served me, heldconversation with none other. Had I known in what fashion we were tomeet later, I should no doubt have observed him with more closenessthan I did, but I saw in a trice he was one that a groat would buy thesoul of, and another groat the rest of him.
"'Twas late you came hither last night," he said as he set down mytankard beside me upon the table.
I smiled without replying, and nodded once or twice, to give him asupposition of my discretion; but he took it otherwise.
"Ay, you say truly," he ran on, "there is a liberty of inns that noprivate house hath. Come when you list and go when you have a mind to;there's no constraint nor question amongst us."
"Be pleased to fetch me the mustard," said I.
"You know what is convenient," he returned in a voice of keen approval,as he brought it. "Now, I was once a serving man in Berkeley Inn,called so of my lord Berkeley that lodgeth there. But whether he wereat home or absent, I was ever there. And where I was, you understand,there must needs be necessaries bought, and such things as were, as Isay, convenient."
He leered upon me very sly as he spoke these mysteries; by which Iperceived I was already deep in his favour, as he was (like enough)deep in villainies.
"I marvel how from a lord's mansion you came to serve in a commontavern," said I, to check him.
"Oh, rest you easy, sir," he laughed, "for the difference is less thanone might suppose. There be pickings and leavings there as in anhostelry, a nimble wit needed in both places indifferently, and for therest, work to be scanted and lies to be told. Hey! and lives to belived, master, and purses filled, and nought had, here nor there, butmust be paid for or else stolen."
Such light-hearted roguery I owed it to my conscience to condemn, butfor the life of me I could not, so that I fell into a great laughterthat no shame might control. I hope it was weakness of my body, andnot of virtue, pushed me to this length, but however come by, I couldnot help it, and think moreover it did me good.
"Come, that is the note I like," said my tapster, whose name I learntwas Jocelin; and, setting his lips close to my ear, he added, "Londontown is but a lump of fat dough, master, till you set the yeast of witto work therein; but after, look you! there be fair risings, and ahandsome great loaf to share." His eyes sparkled. "I have the wit,man, I am the yeast, and so..."
He had not finished his period, or if he did I marked him not, for justat that season the gate of a great house over the way opening, a partyof horsemen rode forth into the street with a clatter of hoofs. Theywheeled off at a smart pace to the right-hand, laughing and calling outto each other as they went, and sending the children a-skelter this wayand that before them. Yet, notwithstanding they were gone by sospeedily, I had yet espied the device upon their harness and cloaks,which was the green dragon and Pembroke cognizance. I flung back mychair.
"Is yon house Baynards Castle?" I cried.
"None other," he replied, nodding while he grinned. "I have certaingood friends there, too."
"Is Mr. Malpas of the number?" I demanded.
"Oh, he!" he answered with a shrug. "A bitter secret man! If 'a hasplots he keeps them close. He flies alone, though 'tis whispered heflies boldly. But we be honest men," quoth he, and held his chin'twixt finger and thumb. "We live and let live, and meet fortune witha smile. But I hate them that squint upon the world sidelong, as hedoth." From which I drew inference that they twain had formerlythieved together, and that Malpas had retained the spoil.
But I soon tossed these thoughts aside for another, which, as it camewithout premeditation, so did I put it into practice immediately.Having satisfied my charges at the inn, therefore, and without a wordto Jocelin, I ran across the street and into the gate-house of thecastle, before the porter had time to close the gate of it behind thehorsemen.
"Is Mr. Malpas within?" I accosted him eagerly.
The porter regarded me awhile from beneath raised brows.
"Have you any business with him, young master?" said he.
"Grave business," I replied, "knowing, as I do, who it was gave himthat hurt he lies sick withal."
The old man pushed the gate to with more dispatch than I had thoughthim capable of using. "Ay, you know that?" he muttered, looking uponme with extraordinary interest. "That should be comfortable news toSignor Guido; that should be honey and oil to his wound;" and I saw bythat he understood his Malpas pretty well.
He led me aside into his lodge, and there, being set in his deep,leathern chair, spread himself to listen.
"Who is he, now?" he asked, in that rich, low voice a man drops intothat anticipates the savour of scandal.
I looked him up and down as though to assure myself of his secrecy, andthen--
"'Twas Master Cleeve," said I.
Heavy man as he was, he yet near leapt from his chair.
"Is't come to that?" he cried. "Master Botolph Cleeve! Now the saintsbless us, young man, that it should be so, and they once so close tohold as wind and the weather-cock!"
I saw his error and meant to profit by it, but not yet. If, indeed, myuncle Botolph were hand-in-g
love with Malpas, why, then, I was savedthe pains to deal with them singly. Having smelled out the smoke, itshould go hard but I would soon tread out the fire. Howbeit, I judgedthat to question the old man further at that season would be to spoilall; since by manifesting the least curiosity of my uncle, I shoulddeny my news (as he understood it) that my uncle, and not I, had nearrobbed Malpas of his life. Noting the porter, then, for a man to beconsidered later, I returned to my politic resolution to get speech ofMalpas himself, and to tell him, moreover, that Mistress Avenonabhorred his addresses, which I was therefore determined should cease.
Perhaps I counted upon his sick condition in this, and upon acorrespondent meekness of behaviour, but regard it as you will, I was amere fool and deserved my rival should rise from his bed and beat thefolly out of me. Nevertheless, I take pride that my folly ran nofurther, so that when the porter inquired who I might be that desiredto carry this message to the wounded man, I had sufficient wit toanswer frankly that I was Mr. Cleeve's nephew; which reply seemed toset the seal of truth to that had preceded.
"Mass!" swore the porter, lying back in his chair, "then methinks yournews will doubly astonish Mr. Malpas, seeing who you be that bring it."
"It should somewhat surprise him to learn 'twas my uncle wounded him,"quoth I modestly.
The porter: "Surprise him! 'Twill make him run mad! I admire how youcan venture into his chamber with such heady tidings."
"Oh, in the cause of truth, Master Porter," I returned stoutly, "oneshould not halt upon the sacrificing of an uncle or so."
"Why, that's religiously said," quoth the porter, who, I could see,having relieved his conscience in warning me, was glad I would not beput off, and, indeed (old cock-pit haunter that he was!), did love theprospect of battle with all his withered heart.
I asked him then what office about my lord's household Mr. Guido held,and he told me he was keeper of the armoury, and served out the pikesand new liveries; that, moreover, when my lord was absent he wasadvanced to a place of greater trust.
"The which I hope he justifies," said I gravely, but the porter blewout his cheeks and said nothing.
"Will you lead me to his chamber?" I asked him presently, and he bademe follow him, first taking up his ring of keys.
We crossed the court together, going towards the west corner of it,where he opened a door that led on to a winding stair, which weascended. When we had climbed almost to the roof as I thought, hestayed before another door that I had not observed (so dark andconfined was the place), through which he preceded me into the gallerybeyond it, a low but very lightsome place, with a row of dormer windowsalong the outer side of it, from one of which, when I paused to lookforth, I beheld the river Thames directly beneath us, and a fleet oflight craft thereon, wherries and barges and the like, and across theSouthwark flats, far distant, London Bridge, with Nonsuch House in themidst of it, that cut in twain the morning light with a bar of grey.
While I stood thus gazing idly the great bell of the gate rang out witha sudden clangour.
"Pox o' the knave that founded thee a brazen ass!" cried the porter."Ay, kick thy clapper-heels, ring on! Again! again! Shield us,master, what doomsday din is there! Well, get gone your ways, MasterNephew of Cleeve; that long, yellow man's chamber lieth beyond, uponthe right hand, in a bastion of the wall.... List to the bell!" andwith that he turned back in haste and clattered down the stair.
I followed his direction as well as I might, going forward down thegallery to Malpas' room, although, to speak truly, I had come into somedistaste of that business already, and would have been glad enough toforego it altogether had not my pride forbidden me so to return upon myresolution. At the door I stooped down and listened for any sound ofgroaning, which, when I plainly heard, I could not but confess 'twassomething less than merciful to trouble the poor man at such a time.But having conjured up the figure of Idonia, my pity of her aggressorfell away again, so that without more ado I knocked smartly upon thedoor.
I was answered by a groan deeper than before.
"Have I leave to enter?" I demanded, but was told very petulantly I hadnot.
"We are not unacquainted," said I, with my lips to the keyhole.
"The more reason you should stay without," said he, and I could hearhim beat his pillow flat, and turn over heavily upon his side.
"Hast thou forgot my sword so soon?" cried I in a great resentment thatthe victor should be pleading thus at the chamber door of thevanquished.
"Go, hack with thy tongue, Thersites!" came the voice again; but atthat I waited no further, but burst in. I had got scarce two pacesover the threshold when--
"Why, Master Jordan!" I cried out, for there on the bed lay my ancientfat friend, his heavy Warham-face peering above the quilt, a tassellednightcap bobbing over his nose, and all else of him (and of thefurniture too) hid and o'erlaid by a very locust-swarm of folios.
At the first sight of me I thought he would have called upon themountains to bury him, from mere shame of his discovery.
"Away!" he gasped, when he could get breath to say it; "away, gracelesschild! I am no foiner; I know you not. I am a man of peace, areverend doctor. My trade is in books. _Impallesco chartis_; I growpallid with conning upon the written word. What be your armies andyour invasions and your marchings to and fro? that lives should belived, and brains spent and lost therein. I tell you, one verse ofCatullus shall outweigh the clatter of a battalion, and Tully is theonly sergeant I salute." And so, having hurled his defiance, he sankback amongst the bed clothes and drew down his nightcap an inch lowerupon his brow.
"You know me very well, good doctor," quoth I, and advanced to hisbedside, which was fortified with an huge _vallum_ of the Consolations."I am Denis Cleeve."
"'Tis like enough," said the old man with an air of infiniteresignation, and affecting still not to know me. "And I am my lord ofPembroke's poor librarian, and at this time somewhat deeply engagedupon the duties attaching to that service."
He drew forth a volume with a trembling hand as he spoke, and made asif to consult it.
"Being so accustomed as you are to the use of parchments," said I, "Ihad supposed you led a company of foot to tuck of drum."
He was so clearly abashed at my remembering his very words that he hadformerly spoken, that I had not the heart to proceed further in myjesting, and so sitting down upon the couch beside him I told him thatI applauded this his exchange of resolutions, and that there was enoughof soldiers for any wars we were likely to have, but of scholars not soample a supply as he could be spared therefrom, save upon unlooked foroccasion. Mr. Jordan regarded me very mournfully while I spoke thus,and when I had done lay a great while silent, fingering his folios andshaking his tasselled head. At length he replied thus--
Mr. Jordan regarded me very mournfully. Chapter XII]
"You have a great heart, my son," said he with a sigh, "and think tocomfort one that lacks not virtue (I hope), although the diligence toapply it manfully. Alas! much learning, Denis, hath made memarvellously to hate confusion and strife. My mind burroweth as aconey in the dark places of knowledge, but never my body endureth aposture of opposition. Thought is a coward, all said: and philosophynought else but the harness we have forged to protect our hinder partswhile we shuffle ingloriously from the fray. 'Tis no hero's person weassume, lad; and your old fool, your erudite scratchpole--_Graecislitteris eruditus_, hey?--is everywhere and rightly derided."
I told him very earnestly I thought otherwise, but he would not hear meout, affirming his contrary opinion, namely, that he was a coward andtrembled at the very name of an enemy, excepting only of his principalenemy, to wit, his bed. "And with that," said he, "I have been forcedinto concluding an unconditional alliance."
Now I could not bear he should thus contemptuously belittle his valour,of which I had formerly seen sufficient proof in his dealing with thethieves about Glastonbury, and said so roundly.
"Well, lad," he replied, and puckering up his face into a grim smile,"be i
t as you will; and at bottom I confess I believe I have as muchcourage as another man: of which quality indeed it needed some modicumto encounter my conscience and return to the path I was set in byNature. For there is but little bravery in running counter to ournatures, Denis, and especially when applause and honour lie both thatway. Ay, I think," quoth he, "I have some obstinacy below, though youmust e'en stir in the sediment to raise it."
In reply to my asking how it had come about that he was installedkeeper of my lord's books, he said it had been consequent upon hisintention (while he yet held to it) of enrolling himself soldier; thatthe magistrate to whom he had applied him for that purpose, when heproposed the oath of allegiance had seen fit to eke it out and amplifyhis warrant with so offensive a comparison betwixt the arts of lettersand war, to the utter disadvantage of letters, as he could not abidethe conclusion of, but made off; nor could he ever be induced to returnthither any more.
"And notwithstanding I cried out upon my defection daily," heproceeded, "I perceived that fate had put the term to my militaryservice or ever 'twas begun, and so sought elsewhere for employment.Indeed I had arrived at my last victual, and had scarce wherewithal tomeet the charges of my lodging. But in a good hour I fell in withanother of the like condition with mine, though for the rest, a poet,and therefore of a more disordered spirit. His name was, as Iremember, Andrew Plat, but of where he dwelt I am ignorant. He wasboldly for stealing what he could not come by honestly, and so far puthis design into practice as, breaking into this very Castle, hefurnished his belly with the best, both of meat and drink. In themorning he was found drunk, in which condition he confessed all, butwith such craven and mendacious addition as involved me also, who wasthereupon cited to appear.
"I excused myself, as you may suppose, very easily, but by aninadvertence I excused myself in Latin.
"'How!' cried my lord, 'you make your apology in Latin?'
"'Have I so done?' said I, 'then judge me as a Roman, for amongst thesebarbarians thou and I be the only two civilized.'
"He laughed very heartily at that, and having informed himself of mymerits, soon after delivered up his books into my charge.
"And thus I am, as you see me, returned to my former occupation, whichI shall never again pretermit upon any motion of magnanimity. If aughtin the future shall offend me, if evil rumours shall penetrate to thisquiet angle of the world, I take up no lance to combat the same, myson, having a better remedy: which is to rinse out my mouth with greatdraughts of Virgil and Cicero, and thereafter with a full voice tothank the gods that I was not begot of the seed of Achilles."
He invited me to remain to dinner with him, but I would not, and wentaway by the way I had come, my head so full of this strange case of Mr.Jordan (whom I had only chanced upon through the lucky accident of myhaving mistaken the porter's direction), that I remembered not so muchas Malpas his name even, until I was safe in the warden's house uponthe Bridge; where I found good Madam Nelson anxiously expecting myreturn, who moreover had a steaming hot platter for me that she servedup with certain less palatable satires upon my night's absence.However, I thought it wise to let them pass for that season, and notjustify myself therein; for a woman loveth not the man that answerethher again; and especially when he is in the right of it.