Chapter Twenty-One
Hailey
Cecilia led the way to the front of the auditorium. We were early enough that we were able to grab seats front and center. I was relieved that I wouldn't miss anything this time around. After we took our seats, I opened up the program just for something to do and again was disappointed that there were no pictures. It seemed weird that I felt such a connection to William C. Lancaster and still had no idea what he really looked like other than the fact that he had dark hair and wore glasses.
I couldn't wait to finally hear him perform again. Even though it had been weeks since the first time I had heard him, I could remember every note he’d played and the way it’d made me feel, like he’d reached inside of me and touched my soul. Even if the evening continued to be awkward between Chase and I, at least I would get to enjoy listening to William play again.
I tried not to read too much into how nervous he was acting, but I couldn't help but
wonder if maybe he didn't want to be here with me tonight. For some reason I hadn’t told Chase yet that Braxton and I were taking a break. I almost said something a few times but stopped myself for couple of reasons.
First, it seemed presumptuous somehow. Like by telling him that I was currently single he would assume that meant I wanted to start a relationship with him. Second, I feared how he would respond. He was being so weird today that I kept questioning myself. Maybe he really did just wanted to be friends and I read way too much into that kiss after all?
Let’s face it, I really wasn’t his type. I didn’t want to make a fool out of myself before I knew for sure how he felt about me. So I kept my mouth shut, intent to just go with the flow tonight and see how things progressed naturally.
He looked really nice tonight, but he seemed really uncomfortable seeing his parents here. I guess it was kind of weird to run into them here of all places. What were the chances of that? It wasn’t hard to imagine his family being fans of William C. Lancaster, but Chase seemed really surprised so maybe it was just an awkward coincidence.
“Have you ever watched Chase perform before?” Cecilia asked.
“Um, yeah, a few times. I wasn't sure if I'd like his punk music but it's growing on me.” His parents exchanged a look that I took to mean that they didn't really approve of Chase's band.
“No, I meant— ”
“Hey look!” Jonathan interrupted her. “Zach and Trey are here.”
“Did we miss anything?” Trey asked eagerly. It was obvious that the concert hadn't even started yet, but Jonathan answered anyway.
“Nope, not yet,” Jonathan answered.
“Good. We don't want to miss this.” Zach smiled at me as he took a seat at the end of the aisle. “You must really like classical music,” I commented. Was the entire band closet classical fans?
“Something like that,” Trey said with a smirk.
Jonathan and Zach chuckled and I had a nagging suspicion that it was at my expense but told myself I was probably just being paranoid. I shook it off. I was letting my insecurities mess with my head. Of course, between the mixture of amused looks I was getting from the guys and the curious ones I was getting from Chase's family, was it really any wonder I felt uneasy? I found myself wishing Chase would hurry up.
“Are you okay?” Tessa whispered.
“Yeah, I'm fine.”
“You look like you are about to puke.” I felt like I was about to puke.
“Do you get the feeling we're missing something?”
“No, why do you ask?”
“Nothing,” I said dismissively. “I'm sure it's nothing.” Five minutes passed and still no Chase.
“I wonder what’s taking him so long?” I mumbled.
Jonathan just smirked. “Oh, I’m sure he’s fine. Probably just jittery.”
What could he possibly be jittery about? I smiled thinking that maybe he did have feelings for me after all and was just as nervous about tonight as I was.
Ten minutes had passed and still no Chase. Nobody else seemed remotely concerned about the fact that he wasn't here yet. I checked the time and realized the concert was getting ready to start.
“Should we try to find him?” I asked Tessa as I looked around the auditorium again for any sign of him. Cecilia tilted her head curiously at me but still didn't say anything.
“What?” I asked her.
“Nothing,” she shook her head. “I guess I just don't understand what's going on here.” “Me either.”
“I'm sure he'll find us,” Tessa assured me.
“Yeah, you're probably right.” I just couldn't help but feel like something was off but I couldn't put my finger on it. I fiddled with the program, folding and refolding until it was so creased I couldn't read the words any more. The auditorium was filled now, the only empty seat in the entire place was the one in between Cecilia and me—the one that I was saving for Chase.
Every minute that he was gone was making me that much more frustrated. Damn him. I
should've known better. At least Braxton didn't abandon me. Sure he made us late but at least he was there with me. Chase had been acting weird the whole way here— like he was nervous about something. Maybe he was planning on bailing the whole time to get back at me. Jackass.
“Where is he?” I said, irritated.
“Don't worry,” Tessa said. “I'm sure he'll be here before the curtain opens.” Jonathan snickered.
“What's so funny?” I asked him sharply when I couldn’t take it any more.
“Nothing.” He smiled. “It's just so funny that you guys have no idea.”
“Wait--do you mean she doesn’t know?” Cecilia cocked an eyebrow. “She has no idea?”
“No idea about what?” Tessa was starting to sound just as irritated as me. “What's going on?”
“You'll find out soon.” He smirked as the lights dimmed.
“What does that mean?”
His only answer was a head nod toward the stage that reminded me of something Chase would've done. It was frustrating. “Tessa, your boyfriend is getting on my nerves,” I whispered to her.
“He's kinda getting on my nerves too.”
I shifted my focus away from my annoyance with Jonathan so that I could enjoy the concert. I didn't know what happened to Chase, but William was getting ready to come on stage and I had been looking forward to it for weeks. I was planning to come by myself anyway so nothing really had changed. I wasn't sure why I was so disappointed—I shouldn't care whether he was here or not.
Except I did care. I had hoped that tonight would be the night I could figure out how I felt about him— about everything. I was free and clear— sorta. Braxton had agreed to let me have time to myself to figure things out. We were basically on a break so I would be able to spend time with Chase and not feel guilty about it. And he’d totally bailed.
Though the lights were dimmed, I could see the shadowy figure of William C. Lancaster as he walked across the stage. I knew I should just forget about Chase and focus on the show but it was no good. Where had he disappeared to? Had he seriously just left me here? It appeared that way, but it just didn’t seem like something he would do. I found myself searching the dark auditorium for Chase again. Was he hurt? Maybe somebody jumped him in the bathroom for his wallet. Maybe he’d fallen and was lying somewhere unconscious. I should probably get up and go look for him.
“I'll be right back.”
I had to go find him. Maybe he was uncomfortable being here with me because he didn't know that I had ended things with Braxton. He didn't know how I felt about him and I had to tell him. I stood as William C. Lancaster sat down and the spotlight illuminated him.
Only it wasn't William.
It was Chase.
I was frozen in place.
What the hell was he doing? I looked at Jonathan who was shaking in a quiet fit of laughter. I turned back to the stage to look at Chase. He seemed to
be looking for someone in the audience. His eyes found me easily even in the dim room. After all, I was the only one standing up like an idiot. He smiled at me nervously as he adjusted his tie.
Everything was suddenly in slow motion.
I watched as Chase put on a pair of glasses and turned his focus to the white and black keys.
It was like I was in a lucid dream, I felt that what I was seeing couldn't possibly be real.
Then my mouth dropped as he started to play and I knew that it was really happening.
I heard Tessa gasp but I couldn't take my eyes off of Chase, or should I say William C.
Lancaster?
How was it that I never knew Chase's last name? Of course it really shouldn't have been a
surprise at all now that I thought about it. He’d never once told me anything about himself and any time I would ask any questions he shut down.
Oh God, this whole time—the whole time—he knew I had a crush on William C. Lancaster. Was this some huge elaborate joke? Was he trying to make a fool out of me? This whole time he'd been lying to me like it was some sort of game. I was humiliated—and angry. I didn’t think I’d ever been this embarrassed in my entire life.
I had really thought something was wrong. I’d been worried about him and the whole time he’d been lying to me about who he really was. I couldn't believe that I ever wanted to be friends with Chase—let alone toyed with the idea of something more. Right then I hated him.
Braxton was right, we belonged together. He was familiar and trustworthy and I knew I could always count on him. He never lied to me. I knew him. I knew everything about him. He didn’t have some secret identity and he certainly wouldn’t play such a mean joke on me.
If this is what it was like, taking a leap of faith and trying to experience new things— then forget that shit. I wanted nothing to do with it. I just wanted to go home— to my real home.
The only home I’ve ever known.
I realized I was still standing. Tessa pulled gently at my hand trying to get me to sit down but I couldn’t be there anymore. I stormed out, ignoring the whispered pleas from our friends to stop.
As soon as I was outside the auditorium I realized that I hadn't really thought this through. I didn't want to see Chase—I didn't actually want to see any of them.
I heard someone call my name behind me but I didn't stop walking. I had to get away from there. The only problem was that I was effectively stranded. I had ridden here in Chase's car.
I got out my cell phone and sent Braxton a text, not trusting myself to actually talk.
I need to see you. This had been a good lesson. It reinforced what I’d already known my whole life; when you stuck with what was familiar, you didn’t get hurt.