CHAPTER XII
ELDREDGE REJECTS A SUBSTITUTE
Joe made his leisurely way along the lane, his feet rustling the leavesthat littered the grassy path. There had been a frost during the nightand in shaded places it still glistened. When he had left the lane andwas making his way between the old tumbledown shed with its piles ofcrumbling bricks and one of the clay pits he saw that there was a skimof ice on the water below him. It was a morning that induced a finefeeling of well-being, that made the blood course quickly and would haveput a song on Joe's lips had he been able to sing a note. As it was, hewhistled instead.
Ahead of him was a smallish shed, perhaps at one time the office. Somerusted barrows and pieces of machinery lay about it. As it presentedthe only place of concealment in sight, Joe concluded that it was theplace of appointment. Eldredge, however, had not arrived. Joe madesure of that by looking on all sides of the building and peering intothe interior through a paneless window. So he seated himself in thesunlight and philosophically waited.
Some ten minutes passed and then he heard footsteps and presently aroundthe corner appeared Paul Eldredge and Sam Rogers. Joe frowned. Eldredgeshouldn't have brought a second fellow without telling Myron of hisintention. The newcomers stopped in surprise when they saw Joe, andafter an instant Eldredge said: "Hello! Have you seen--Is Foster here?"
"Hello," replied Joe. "Foster? No, he isn't coming."
"Isn't coming!" exclaimed Eldredge. Then he laughed. "What do you knowabout that? What did I tell you, Sam?"
Rogers nodded. "I know. You said he wouldn't."
"Fact is," said Joe, "he can't."
"Can't, eh? I suppose he's sick," sneered Eldredge.
Joe shook his head gently and pulled himself to his feet. "No, heain't sick, he's--he's confined to his bed." He chuckled, much to themystification of the others. Eldredge scowled.
"What is this, a silly joke?" he demanded peevishly.
"No, oh, no, it ain't any joke," answered Joe gravely. "It's this way,Eldredge. Foster's no scrapper. Doesn't know the first thing about it.Of course you didn't know that when you arranged this party. You wanteda nice little fight. Foster couldn't give it to you. Why, he doesn'tknow how to even block. You wouldn't have had any sport at all. It wouldhave been all over in a wag of a duck's tail. I told him that, but hewouldn't see it. I said: 'This guy Eldredge wants a scrap, kiddo. Hedoesn't want to get up at that time of day just to see you topple overevery time he reaches out. Give him a chance,' I said. 'You stay in bedand I'll take the job off your hands.' Course, I'm no professional,Eldredge, but I know enough to give you a bit of fun. But Fosterwouldn't see it. Insisted that he had to come himself."
"Say, for the love of Mike," broke in Eldredge, "are you crazy?"
"Me? No, I don't believe so," answered Joe mildly. "Anyway, I couldn'tget him to look at it right, and so this morning I just woke up a bitearly and tied him up in bed." He chuckled. "I'll bet he's spouting bluemurder right now!"
"That's a likely yarn!" sneered Eldredge. "Tied up in bed! Yes, heis--not! He got you to come and tell that story to save his face!"
"Well, I sort of came to save his face," answered Joe genially, "but notjust the way you mean: and he didn't have anything to do with it. He'stied right down to his bed this minute."
"If he is," said Rogers, "he helped do it."
"No." Joe shook his head patiently. "He was asleep. I'd like you guys tobelieve that. It always sort of disgruntles me when folks don't believewhat I tell 'em, and I'm likely to get real mad."
Rogers blinked. "Well--well, then there's nothing doing, Paul," he saidvery mildly.
"Nothing doing?" echoed Joe in surprise. "What do you mean, nothingdoing? Ain't I here? Sure, there's something doing. Him and me--I meanhe and I are going to have a real good time."
"We are not," replied Eldredge disgustedly. "It's the plainest sort of aframe-up, Sam. I knew all along Foster didn't have any sand. I told youhe'd duck."
"Say, you must have got me wrong," said Joe earnestly. "Foster wantedto come, but I wouldn't let him. It wasn't fair to him or you, kiddo.Don't you see? He'd have got all messed up and you'd have been downrightdisappointed. That's why I took it over. You and me are about of a sizeand weight and I'll bet we can have a right good scrap."
"I don't care to fight you," said Eldredge disdainfully. "Why should I?I don't even know you!"
"Well, I don't know you, either," replied Joe calmly. "So we'reall-square there, eh? Listen, Brother: if you're holding back on myaccount, don't do it. I don't mind a scrap. Fact is, I'd be mightydisappointed if I didn't have it, after coming away over here like this.And so would you, of course. You're like me; get sort of low-spirited ifyou don't have a little set-to now and then. Ain't that right?"
Eldredge was viewing Joe in mingled astonishment and uneasiness.This big, raw-boned chap didn't look good to him as an opponent. Hisarms were discouragingly long and the shoulders hinted at a musculardevelopment quite unusual. Also, there was a quiet gleam in thegreenish-grey eyes that made Eldredge feel a bit creepy along his spine.He laughed nervously.
"Don't be a chump," he begged. "Of course I'm not going to fight you. Ihad a row with Foster, but if you say he doesn't know how to fight,why, all right. We'll call it off. I don't want to fight any fellowthat's no match for me----"
"That's just what I told him," said Joe delightedly. "I said, 'Thatguy's going to be tickled to death when I show up instead of you.'"
"Come on," said Rogers, tugging at his friend's sleeve.
"Of course," went on Eldredge, "if Foster wants to go on with it later,I'm ready for him, but--but as far as I'm concerned I'm willing to callquits."
"Atta boy!" said Joe approvingly. "Well, now that's settled and you andme can go ahead." Joe began to peel off his sweater. Eldredge frownedand shot an anxious look at Rogers.
"I've told you I wouldn't fight you," he said, "and I won't."
"Why not?" demanded Joe. "Ain't I good enough for you? Trying to insultme, eh?" he scowled darkly. "Is that it?"
"Of course not! I haven't any row with you. Besides, it's nearly timefor chapel and I don't intend to get in wrong at the Office just toplease you!"
"That don't go, kiddo. I've offered to fight you and you've insultedme by refusing. That's enough. Now you pull that coat off and stand uphere."
"You're crazy! I won't be forced into a fight like this. You haven't anyright to----"
Joe gave a howl. "Haven't any rights, haven't I? We'll see. No guy cantell me I haven't any rights and not fight! Now then, come on!"
"I said you hadn't any right to make me fight," protested Eldredge."You're just----"
"I heard you!" answered Joe ominously. "Don't repeat it! It's somethingno guy can say to me and not answer for! By jiminy, you've got a cheek!No rights, eh? Ain't I a free-born American citizen?" Joe slung hissweater aside, slipped his suspenders down and knotted them about hiswaist and advanced on the embarrassed enemy. "What about the Declarationof Independence?" he demanded wrathfully.
"You know well enough what I mean," declared Eldredge somewhat shrilly."I refuse to fight you! I haven't----"
"Insulted again!" roared Joe fearsomely. "Put up your fists!"
Eldredge was backing away toward the corner of the shed, Rogers a goodtwo yards in the lead. "I won't! I've told you! You can't bully me intofighting when--when I've got nothing to fight about!"
"Call me a bully now, do you?" growled Joe in ominous calm. He cast anoutraged look to the heavens. "Brother, you've gone the limit. Lookout for yourself!" He swung his right arm up and out. The blow, had itconnected, would have lifted Eldredge off his feet and deposited himyards away. But it was woefully short, suggesting that Joe was a poorjudge of distance. Nevertheless it so alarmed Eldredge that he trod onhis friend's toes in his hurried retreat, and a wail of pain and protestarose from Rogers, a wail that, mingling with peals of laughter thatseemed to come from overhead, made a weird confusion of sound. The groupon the ground abruptly paused in their careers and
bewilderedly searchedthe sky for that Jovian laughter. They hadn't far to seek. Atop theshed roof, their convulsed countenances showing above the peak, werestretched Leighton Keith and Harry Cater.
Joe, after a surprised recognition, grinned and unknotted hissuspenders. Eldredge grew red where he had been inclined to pallor andlooked unutterably foolish. Rogers smiled in a sickly fashion and dugembarrassed hands into his pockets. On the roof the unsuspected guestsconquered their laughter, and Keith said to Joe: "Sorry if we--spoiledyour--fun--Dobbins, but we couldn't--hold in any longer!"
"Well, I didn't know I was amusing an audience," replied Joe, "but itdon't matter." He picked up his sweater as Keith and Cater slid to theedge and dropped over. "Guess we'll have to postpone this, Eldredge," hecontinued. "Too many folks around, eh? I'll fix another date with you."
Katie chuckled. "I fancy Eldredge is satisfied," he said. "Eh, Paul?"
Eldredge glowered. "I didn't have any quarrel with him," he muttered."He--he's crazy!"
Katie and Keith seemed to find this most amusing, but after a momentof laughter Keith recovered his gravity and said: "I guess you can betrusted to keep this business quiet, Eldredge. How about you, Rogers?"Rogers nodded, his countenance expressing a relief equal to Eldredge's."Good. I know Dobbins won't talk, and neither will we. So there's noreason why the thing should get out. In a way, it's a pity to keep itto ourselves, for the fellows would certainly enjoy it, but some jokesare too good to be told. If you want to lead a happy life hereafter,Eldredge, you'd better keep mum! And, by the way, if I ever hear of youscrapping any more I'll be tempted to tell what happened this morning.You're much too blood-thirsty, Eldredge, you really are. Restrainyourself, my boy, restrain yourself." Eldredge muttered something ashe moved away. "What was that?" asked Keith sharply. "Did I hear a badword?"
"No," replied Eldredge aggrievedly, "you didn't. I said, 'All right.'"
"Hm: I'll try to believe you: but you'd better beat it before I begin tohave doubts!"
Rogers had already melted around the corner of the shed and Eldredge,pausing only long enough to send a last vindictive glance at Joe,followed. Alone, the three looked at each other in amused silence.Then Katie helped Joe into his sweater and together they turned towardschool. It was only when the forms of Eldredge and Rogers were seenhurrying into the lane that Keith's risibilities again got the better ofhim and he began to chuckle. Whereupon Joe and Katie joined.
It was getting dangerously close to chapel time when Myron, smoulderingwith anger, heard the study door open and the heavy tread of Joeapproaching. When the latter appeared Myron was more than ready for him.
"You--you----" he stammered, "you big--big----"
It was maddening! His nicely arranged flow of invective, his long listof insulting adjectives were gone! He couldn't get his tongue around asingle word that satisfied his requirements. All he could do was glareand sputter and strain at his bonds. And Joe stood at the foot of thebed and viewed him mildly and patiently.
"You let me loose!" cried Myron. "You untie me this minute! You'll seewhat'll happen to you, you big--big _boob_!" Myron groaned at the utterinadequacy of that appellation and gave up the attempt to do justice tohis feelings. Joe blinked.
"Got to have your promise not to start any ructions first," heannounced. "It's pretty near chapel time, Foster, and if you tryscrapping with me you'll be late. So'll I. Better dress quietly and letme explain things."
"I'm going to punch your ugly face!" fumed Myron. "I don't care a hangwho's late to what! You can't spring your silly tricks on me like this,Dobbins! You can't----"
"Then I'll have to let you stay where you are," said Joe regretfully.
"You let me up!"
"_You let me up!_"]
"Promise not to start anything?"
"No!"
"Then you don't get up. You stay right here until I tell you all aboutit." Joe seated himself at the foot of the bed and glanced at the clockon the chiffonier. "You see, Foster, it was like this."
"I don't want to hear it! I want to get up!"
"Then give me your word to behave."
Myron studied Joe's unperturbed face, hesitated and gave in. "Allright," he growled. "But I'll--I'll get even with you yet."
"Sure! Now then we'll do some hustling." For two minutes Joe wasvery busy with knots. "Hope these things didn't hurt," he saidapologetically. "I tried to fix 'em so you'd be comfortable."
"Thanks, I'm sure," said Myron in deep sarcasm. "I can't tell you howmuch I appreciate your thoughtfulness!"
Joe grinned. "Well, anyway, I didn't wake you up, kiddo, did I? Didn'tdo you out of any sleep, eh? Say, the Sleeping Quince, or whatever theguy in the fairy story was called, hasn't a thing on you, Foster. You'rethe soundest little slumberer that ever pounded an ear! There you are.Now, then, slip into some duds and let's beat it. We've just got time."