Brian O’Byrne was usually up at dawn, and the next morning he awoke to find the sky already a sparkling azure and the sun about to appear. Making his way outside, he went to a gate a short distance from the house, from which there was a fine view down to the coast and the distant sea. He liked to watch the rising sun.
He had been gazing at the eastern horizon so intently that he had not been aware he was being approached until, suddenly, he felt another person at his side. It was Anne.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
He pointed, and at that moment, the first gleaming edge of the sun’s golden orb began to break over the horizon. He heard her give a little intake of breath as she watched it part from the waters. They stood together as it began to rise majestically into the sky. Neither spoke. He felt her arm resting lightly against his.
“I saw you from my window,” she said quietly. “Everyone’s asleep. Do you often watch the sun rise?”
“Usually. If it’s clear.”
“Ah. That must be good.”
He nodded, and glanced back towards the house for an instant. The sun’s rays were striking its walls, but the old tower-house seemed impervious to them, as though it, too, was still asleep. He allowed his arm gently to encircle her waist. She did not tense at all. He gave her a sideways glance. She turned her head a fraction towards him and smiled.
“Perhaps I shall come to Dublin soon,” he said.
“I think you should.” It was just then that a sound from somewhere behind caused them both to spring apart. But when they looked, they had seen no one. All the same, Anne had walked back alone and returned to the chamber where her husband was sleeping, while O’Byrne had gone to see the horses in the stable.
Neither, therefore, was ever aware that the sound had been made by Orlando and that he had seen them guiltily moving apart.
O’Byrne had not made a visit to Dublin until late August. As promised, he had made a visit to the Smiths’ house and been sorry to discover that Walter and his son had already been away in Kildare for two days and were due back that afternoon. A pity, he’d thought. A missed opportunity. For several minutes, however, he and Anne had been quite alone in the parlour; and standing together, he had turned to look down into her face, and, as she looked up into his, they had kissed as if it had been the most natural thing in the world. The sound of someone coming to the parlour door had caused them, once again, to move quickly apart, but before he left, he had suggested: “Next time your husband is going away, send me a message.”
And now, the evening before, a messenger had come with a missive from Anne to say that Walter was about to go away again. With some excitement, Brian O’Byrne was setting out for Dublin.
As Anne Smith sat in her house the following morning, she wondered if Brian O’Byrne would come that day. She was also in some agony of mind. What was she going to do?
What had she been thinking? Why had she ever allowed the business to come so far? At times she hardly knew. Had she been aware of O’Byrne’s assessment of her inner motives, she would have agreed that they were broadly true. But even he could not guess at the effect of the long years of self-denial and tension, the frustration followed by a sense of deadness that had enveloped her until, at times, she scarcely remembered what it was to feel alive. Nor how, with his sudden reappearance in her life, she had felt as if a magical light had transfigured the world. Morality, even religion, had seemed to be swept aside by something that had the force of destiny itself.
In the few encounters she’d had with O’Byrne so far, however— on the island long ago, up at Rathconan, or even here in her own house—the two of them had found themselves together, and events had seemed to unfold with a momentum of their own. Whatever was destined to be, she could tell herself, had happened. The thing was—almost—outside her control.
But now she had taken the step herself. She had summoned him. There could be no escaping that fact. And she was having second thoughts.
Was it fear of discovery? She wasn’t sure, but she suspected that Orlando might have guessed. The day she had kissed O’Byrne, the Irishman had only been gone a few minutes when Orlando had appeared, looking strange. He was in Dublin for the day, he told her, and had come round to see if Walter was back. Then, with a slight frown he had asked: “Was that O’Byrne I saw, coming away from the house?” And like a fool, just for a moment, she had hesitated. Then, quickly recovering, she had replied with a laugh that was just a little nervous: “Yes. He was coming to ask about Maurice.” She had seen the look of suspicion that had crossed her brother’s face, the concern in his eyes; and he had seemed about to say something when, thank God, she had been called to the kitchen and been able to avoid any further conversation. Two weeks later, when the whole family had gathered up at the house in Fingal and gone to Mass together at Malahide, he had said nothing; but she wasn’t sure that meant his suspicion had gone away.
Even so, it wasn’t really fear of her brother that held her back. It was her affection for her kindly husband.
Last night had been everything that Walter Smith loved. As well as his wife and son, his daughters and their husbands and children had all been together at the house. They had eaten and drunk, spent a happy evening together, and played foolish family games. Walter had been wreathed in smiles. Several times he had given his irritating chuckle, and in the midst of so much happiness, Anne had hardly minded. And watching him, she had thought: this is a good man who loves me, and who, for his goodness, I love also. That morning, when he had parted from her with great affection, she had watched him out of sight and then turned indoors, thinking: no, I can’t do this to him. Her married lot was not so terrible. She must draw back, stop this business with O’Byrne before it was too late.
She had wondered whether to send O’Byrne another message, telling him not to come after all. But that wouldn’t do. He might be on his way already. And anyway, if she couldn’t go through with it, she should at least tell him so to his face. That, she decided, was the only thing to do.
She was sitting in the parlour in the early afternoon when she heard someone arriving. She rose, and found that her heart was beating wildly. She started towards the door. But it wasn’t O’Byrne.
It was Lawrence. Her elder brother came into the parlour and sat down, indicating that he wished to speak with her alone. For a few minutes, he chatted quietly about the family, and remarked that she might feel lonely while Walter was away. He said all this very kindly; then he paused. Clearly, he had something else on his mind. She waited.
“I wondered, Anne . . .” his voice was soft, “if there might be anything you feel you’d like to tell me?”
“I’m not sure I understand, Lawrence.” She kept her face expressionless.
“Is there,” he gave her a gently questioning look, “anything that you wish to confess?”
“I have a confessor, Lawrence.”
“I am a priest, Anne. I could hear your confession if you wish.”
“But I don’t wish, Lawrence.”
She saw a shadow of annoyance pass across his face. Just for a moment, the old Lawrence of her childhood seemed to have reappeared—strict, censorious. No one but a sister would have seen it. Then the Jesuit smoothed his face again and resumed.
“As you wish, Anne, of course. But let me, as your brother who loves you, say just this. Years ago, I urged you to marry Walter rather than his brother. You may recall.”
“You told me: ‘Head over heart, the better part.’ I remember very well.”
“Well, now I say something different. I beg you, Anne, to consider the heart: your husband’s heart. You cannot be so cruel as to break it.” He had spoken earnestly and with feeling. Now he paused, and his look became severe. “Whatever the devil has tempted you to do, stop now. Draw back. You are on the path towards eternal hellfire, and if you go down that path, it is hellfire you will deserve. I beg you, therefore, draw back before it is too late.”
She stared at him in silence. She gu
essed at once that Orlando must be the source of his information. The fact that some of what he said was true didn’t make it any better, nor even that she had already come to that very decision. It was Lawrence’s playing the elder brother which annoyed her.
“Of what are you accusing me, Lawrence? Speak plainly,” she said, dangerously.
“I have not accused—”
“I am glad to hear it,” she cut in icily. “It almost sounded as if you were accusing me of betraying my husband.” There was a cold contempt in her voice. Lawrence was stung.
“Are you prepared to swear,” he demanded with some anger, “that you have committed no impropriety with Brian O’Byrne?”
“O’Byrne has kindly offered to have Maurice to stay with him,” she answered firmly. “That is all. As for your suggestion, it is an outrage and an impertinence.”
“I hope I can believe you.”
“Do you call me a liar now?” She was white with fury. “Leave my house, Lawrence. And do not come back until you have learned some manners.” She stood up and pointed to the door. “Go at once,” she commanded. She was shaking with rage. Equally furiously, her brother rose and turned to leave.
“You use me very ill, sister,” he said as he left the room.
After he had gone, she remained standing, enraged and defiant. Was she the same girl who had been in love all those years ago, for him to be giving her lectures like this. And accusing her, too, of something she had not even yet done. And then to call her a liar.
In that case, she thought in her fury, I might just as well do it.
And she was still in the same mood when, late that afternoon, Brian O’Byrne arrived.
It had been shortly after the Smith family’s visit in September that Orlando had confided to his wife his fears about Anne and O’Byrne. He had shaken his head and confessed: “I can’t believe that my own sister would do such a thing.” Mary too had been shocked, but perhaps less than her husband.
Whether or not her sister-in-law was having an affair with Brian O’Byrne, the business had one other effect upon Mary. It brought to the forefront of her mind another idea which, over the years, had come to her from time to time. And one evening, early in October, as they sat by the fire together, she looked across at her husband and said quietly:
“You should have an heir, Orlando. It’s quite clear that I shall never have a child.”
“I have you, Mary. That is enough good fortune for any man,” he said with quiet affection.
“You’re good to say it. But I should like you to have an heir.” The room was silent apart from the faint hiss of the fire. “You could have a child with another woman, you know. I’d bring it up as my own. He’d be a Walsh and you could leave him the estate. I shouldn’t mind.” She sighed. “I dare say we should have done it long ago.”
He gazed at her.
“You are a remarkable woman,” he said. She shook her head. Then, in his kindness, misunderstanding and supposing she needed reassurance, he declared: “If you imagine that I could ever consider another woman, Mary, you are quite mistaken. There is not a woman in all the wide world for me but you.”
“I was speaking of a child, Orlando.”
“We must bow to the will of God, Mary,” he replied. “If we did not do that, our life would have no meaning.” He came over to her and took her hand in his. Then, overcome with the thought that she had offered such a sacrifice for his sake, he kissed her hand with great emotion.
The next Sunday they went to Mass at Malahide together, and it seemed to her that Orlando went through his devotions with a special intensity. That afternoon, he walked out alone to Portmarnock.
And so, while she was touched by her husband’s kindness, he had not helped her at all.
Anne and O’Byrne were very discreet. O’Byrne had a merchant friend who had a house in which he’d lodged before. Conveniently, it lay near the western market where there was usually a throng of people. Passing through the market and making a few small purchases, Anne could slip in there without attracting any notice. If the highly respectable wife of Walter Smith the merchant was gone for a few hours in the afternoon, and remarked on her return that after the market, she had gone to visit a poor woman, or stopped to pray in a church, no one gave the matter another thought. From October 1637 until the following spring, O’Byrne made numerous visits to Dublin, usually for two or three days at a time, and each time, Anne and he met to make love in the afternoons, without exciting any suspicion at all. Once O’Byrne encountered Orlando in the street, asked after his family, and said, with perfect truth, that he had not had time to go round to the Smiths’ house. Twice he saw Walter, who greeted him and invited him to visit them. On each occasion, he made an excuse but did not fail to add: “I’m still waiting for you to send young Mwirish to me. Send him for a week, a month, a year—whatever you like.”
For O’Byrne, it was an exciting adventure. It pleased him especially because, after some initial shyness, Anne had become an eager and adventurous lover. For Anne, after waiting so long, it was the one passionate affair of her life.
The affair had its limitations. It could only take place in secret, behind closed doors. The lovers could never stroll out in each other’s company, or even spend the night together. But Anne did not greatly care. “The only other place I want to be with you is up in the mountains above Rathconan,” she declared. “I wish we could arrange that.” But unless there was some valid excuse to go into the mountains, she couldn’t see how this could come to pass. The opportunity came unexpectedly, however, in the spring.
At the end of March, after repeated begging from Maurice, Walter finally agreed that his son might go to stay with O’Byrne for a month. Her husband had been somewhat preoccupied with his business of late. Sometimes he had seemed a little depressed, although he assured her that there was no cause for concern. He had also put on weight. When she had remarked upon this, he replied with a sad smile that it was to be expected at his age. “My father was the same,” he said. She had not thought this was a sufficient reason, but forbore to say so. He had also been keeping his son hard at work, so she was pleasantly surprised when he let Maurice go.
She and O’Byrne discussed whether she might accompany Maurice to Rathconan for a few days, but decided it would invite suspicion. “I don’t want Lawrence knocking on my door again,” she declared. So O’Byrne came to collect Maurice and took him up to Rathconan alone. “I shan’t come down to Dublin while he’s with me,” he told her.
A week before Maurice was due to return, however, one of O’Byrne’s cattlemen appeared at Smith’s house with a message that Maurice had broken his leg and that his departure from Rathconan might be delayed.
“I think I ought to go to him, Walter,” Anne declared, and her husband did not disagree. Taking the groom with her, she set off for Rathconan with the cattleman.
On her arrival, she found her son in good spirits. He was confined to a large bench in the hall and his leg was in splints. “Like a fool, I slipped off a rock in a mountain stream,” he told her, “but I’m all right.” O’Byrne was firm, however. “He must keep absolutely still for a week,” he commanded. “I don’t want it setting crooked.” The main problem seemed to be keeping O’Byrne’s younger children from crawling all over Maurice.
Privately O’Byrne told her: “I’m not sure it’s broken at all. It may be just a bad sprain.” He grinned. “But I thought it might bring you up here.”
Anne sent the groom back to Dublin to report the situation to Walter. Remaining at Rathconan, she fell into a simple regime. During the day, she would sit and read to Maurice or otherwise keep him amused. In the evening, O’Byrne would play a game of chess with him. At nights, Maurice slept in the kitchen, where the cook kept an eye on him, while his mother slept upstairs in the guest chamber, to which, when the household was all asleep, O’Byrne would secretly come. Once, when she was afraid that their lovemaking might have made too much sound, he laughed quietly. “No sound carries
through these stone walls, I can assure you. A lion could roar.”
During the day, from time to time, she would walk about outside to stretch her legs, but as O’Byrne was busy, she seldom saw him. On the fourth evening, however, he turned to her son and remarked: “We’re taking cattle up the mountain tomorrow, Mwirish. It’s a pity you can’t join us.”
“Couldn’t I come?” Anne asked. “I’ve always wanted to roam up there.”
O’Byrne looked doubtfully at Maurice.
“We need to make sure that Mwirish here doesn’t move.”
Maurice smiled. It was clear that by now he regarded O’Byrne as practically a favourite uncle.
“I’ll answer for my safety if cook will keep your children away,” he laughed.
And so it was agreed that Anne should go up with the cattlemen into the mountains for the day.
The next morning was delightfully warm. It was almost May. The cattle drive was a slow process, with the cattlemen calling out and occasionally prodding the cattle with their sticks as they urged them up the tracks; and although they set out early, it was noon before they reached the high pastures. But as far as Anne was concerned, it was worth it. All around them stretched a huge, high tableland. The sky was blue. The views over the distant coastal plain were magnificent. Just below them, in the passes, the little mountain streams tumbled down towards richly wooded slopes.
After a little rest, some of the cattlemen were returning, and O’Byrne asked Anne if she wanted to go down with them.
“I should like to stay up here,” she answered.
O’Byrne stayed with the cattle for a time, until he was satisfied that everything was in good order; then, turning to Anne in front of the remaining men, he remarked:
“It’s a beautiful walk towards Glendalough. Would you like to see it?”
“What do you think?” Anne asked the men.
“It is. It’s a fine view. Well worth the walk,” they told her.
So telling the men that he’d be back, O’Byrne escorted her politely along the path that led southwards. He strode at a good pace, but she had no trouble keeping up. When they were well out of sight of the men, however, he slowed a little and put his arm around her waist, and they proceeded like that.