Claire realized that everyone in the room was watching her, especially Tony. Most were happily awaiting her response. Tony seemed less pleased with the entire situation, but she knew he wouldn’t say anything there. It would be a matter better discussed in private. Finally, Sue put her hand on Claire’s knee and asked, “So what do you think?”
Claire giggled. “I just can’t believe that my wedding is news.” Everyone snickered. What did she expect? She married Tony, Anthony Rawlings. Claire looked up at him. He had eyes only for her. Those eyes were darkening. Daringly she got up and walked to her husband. Lifting herself by her toes she reached his cheek and gave it a kiss. He obliged, bending down to allow his cheek to meet her lips. Addressing the group, Claire nonchalantly replied, “I guess I just forget who he is. But I have a lifetime to remember.” She kissed him again.
They toasted the New Year with champagne. Brent, Tom, and Tim especially wished Tony a profitable year. If his year was lucrative theirs would be also. It was after one in the morning when the party broke up.
The coldness of the leather transcended Claire’s slacks. She wanted the heater to warm the seat as well as the interior of the car quickly. The roar of the defrost in the stillness of the night told Claire that the poor Mercedes was trying its best.
Tony scraped the snow from the windows and talked with Brent and Tim as they did the same. Everything was blanketed with several more inches of white. Thankfully, it had stopped falling. Absently Claire wondered how often Tony needed to scrape his own windows. She knew she was trying to divert her thoughts from the reprimand she was about to receive.
Her husband remained pleasant and attentive during the party but his expression as he opened her door let her know that this subject wasn’t closed. Claire pondered that thought. Wasn’t it really the same subject? So shouldn’t it be closed?
Each time she exhaled she noticed the faint white crystals that formed in the air. She straightened her posture and squared her shoulders, she was ready. The windows were clear and she could hear Tony and Brent’s voices, his door would open at any moment. With each passing minute her demeanor moved from anxious to indignant. All she had wanted to do was see their wedding pictures. Why was that such a big deal? After all, it was her wedding. The fact the pictures were available online shouldn’t matter.
Once on the road, the only sounds were those of the tires on the snow and the hum of the heater. Claire waited. After a significant silence Tony spoke. “Do you remember that I told you I received e-mails from Emily and she would like you to call?”
“Yes, and you said I could call her tomorrow.” Claire felt a sudden panic.
“I was just wondering. Your memory seems to be failing you.”
“May I still call my sister?”
“Yes, I keep my word.”
Claire exhaled. This was a more indirect Tony than she was accustomed to. Maybe that was the advantage of being his wife. She had been looking for that perk. “Thank you.” She glanced toward her husband, his jaw muscles defined as he clenched. He was waiting for her to approach the subject. Reluctantly she did. “What did you think of our wedding pictures?”
“I think you were absolutely stunning and I am a lucky man.” That wasn’t the response she anticipated. Yes, she was annoyed that this was a big deal. However, her intuition told her to back off.
“I’m sorry about encouraging Beverly. My curiosity got the better of me.” Apologizing seemed like the best option, even if it only sounded sincere.
“It isn’t just what you did. It is what you said.” Claire couldn’t remember what she said, so she asked. “You said you forget who I am.”
“I forget that marrying you is newsworthy, I love you for you. I forget that you are Anthony Rawlings. To me, you are Tony.”
His grip intensified on the steering wheel and she could feel his tension. “I have told you over and over you must remember who I am. If you forget who I am, you will forget who you are and the significance of your behavior.” It was a different version of the appearance speech. He was right. He had said it over and over. She listened and replied at all appropriate times. At least this was the abridged version.
Tony returned to work on the first. He did so from his home office. He had a lot of things to do. Apparently, he had tried to keep up-to-date while in Fiji, but someone kept him distracted. With him working in his office and her free to do as she pleased within the house, Claire soon realized how event filled the last month had been. She was suddenly overwhelmed with a feeling of solitude.
Claire arrived at Tony’s office before lunch to make her call. She expected the limitations lecture. Surprisingly, he didn’t give it. He dialed the telephone, turned his back and worked on his computers while Claire waited to speak. John answered. She prayed that John wouldn’t say anything to upset Tony. “Hi, John, it’s Claire, is Emily there?”
“Hi, Claire. Welcome back to the United States. You are back, aren’t you?”
“We are, we returned on the thirtieth.” She was sending out mental signals, put Emily on the phone!
“So was it as beautiful as the article described?” Tony turned to Claire, she needed to conclude with John and move on to Emily. She looked at him pleadingly, she knew.
“I didn’t read the article. But it was amazing. Tony definitely took me to paradise for our honeymoon. Hey, is Emily there?”
“Oh yes. She’s right here. Good to talk with you. Please tell Anthony I said hello.” She made eye contact with him, hi.
“I will, thanks, John.” She heard Emily take the receiver. Apparently, they weren’t using a speaker phone.
“Hi, Claire, how is my jet-set sister?” Claire smiled. Emily was trying her best to accept Claire’s life.
“I’m wonderful, glad to be home. How are you?” Tony turned back to his work. Emily explained that she and John were well. They wanted to thank Claire and Anthony again for the transportation. A Rawlings Industries jet took them back to Albany on Sunday following the ceremony. She also thanked them for allowing them to stay in their home, it was amazing! She asked Claire more questions about the honeymoon. Claire made it sound magical but not too over the top. Tony politely kept his back to Claire during her conversation. She knew he was listening to every word, but appreciated the gesture.
After ten minutes Claire’s internal clock told her time was running out. “Well, it sure was good to see you two and to talk to you—”
Emily interrupted, “I wanted to let you know John’s been offered a job with a different company.” This shocked Claire. She didn’t know he’d been looking for a different job. Emily said he hadn’t. It was a surprise to them too. Claire asked if it was in Albany. No, it was either in New York City or Chicago. The company had offices at both locations, as well as others. Claire knew that meant Emily would have to leave her teaching job. Emily said she knew that. They were weighing the pros and cons. Financially if he took the job she wouldn’t need to work. It was a tremendous pay increase. Claire was happy to hear that, but she knew how much Emily loved teaching. Claire also added the pro that Chicago was much closer to her and Tony. Would John be doing the same type of law? Emily said it was international corporate. He’d studied it. But for the last four years he has practiced mostly corporate within the United States. Tony pointed to his watch.
Claire told Emily she was interested and she would try to call again to see how things were going. She also told her she hoped they thought it through. Don’t just jump for the money. Emily said that was easy for her to say. Claire understood but wanted them to be happy first and foremost. Emily asked when she would hear from Claire again. And if there was a better way to contact her than Tony’s private e-mail? Claire told her that was the best way. She was still trying to understand the whole Mrs. Rawlings thing. So many people trying to interview her and the like, well she was sure Emily understood. Tony’s private e-mail was best. They bid each other goodbye and Tony hit the disconnect button.
Claire thought about the
call as she stood to leave his office. “Thank you. I appreciate the chance to talk with her.” She turned to let him work.
“Claire, wait a minute.” Her first thought was that he expected some sort of gratitude. She turned back to him with fire in her eyes. He casually leaned on his desk. “She was fishing.”
Confused, the fire still flickered. “Fishing for what? Information about our honeymoon? Honestly, Tony, she’s my sister. Maybe she’s just interested in learning about me from me, not a magazine.”
He looked impatient. “Are you done?”
“Yes.” He indicated for her to sit down. She did.
“She was fishing to find out if you knew about John’s job offer.”
“That doesn’t make sense, how would I know . . .” She looked at Tony and her heartbeat increased. “Why? Why would you offer John a job? I know you well enough to know you don’t like him.”
“I don’t like his strength and determination. He pursued the prenuptial agreement in my limousine even though he knew I didn’t want him to. He even had the balls to offer me advice. Then during the rehearsal he stood in front of me and our friends and had the audacity to not give you away.”
“I knew that upset you. We have just never discussed it before now.” Tony nodded. “Then please explain why you would offer him a job?”
Tony smiled a devious grin. “I didn’t. Tom did. He contacted John while we were on our honeymoon. They have had two meetings in New York. John does have an amazing résumé for someone who went to law school in Indiana.”
“It is one of the top twenty-five law schools in the country.” Claire immediately regretted defending John.
“Yes, thank you, Mrs. Rawlings. I will let Tom know that he may contact you if a cheering section is needed for Mr. Vandersol.” Claire apologized and asked Tony to continue. “He graduated magna cum laude from Indiana University School of Law and was hired by an East Coast firm that predominately hires from within the Ivy League. He has worked very hard, and after only four years is an associate on the fast track for partnership consideration.”
Claire wasn’t sure if it was Tony or Tom, but someone had done their homework. “All right, he has a good résumé, but you just said you don’t like him.”
“Actually, Mrs. Rawlings, I said I don’t like his strength and determination, or more accurately, they infuriated me.” He smiled again. This one wasn’t devious, more mischievous. Claire suddenly experienced déjà vu and smiled back.
“Tony, John isn’t me. He doesn’t know you as well as I do.”
“That is good. I would prefer to keep it that way.”
“I mean, I don’t want you to be upset if he refuses your offer.” Tony lifted his eyebrows, indicating for her to continue. “John has worked very hard to achieve what he has in life. He may not accept your offer as being based on his résumé but as being based on a familiar relationship.”
“You know him better. But Tom made him a very impressive offer. Those student loans, mortgage, and other debts you mentioned would no longer be an issue. Emily would not need to work, and they could live anywhere they wanted.”
“Emily likes her job. She loves teaching. Our mother was a teacher up until the day she died. Emily enjoys doing what she does.” Claire realized she wasn’t facilitating the conversation. “But I am sure the loss of debt would be appealing. Emily could always find another teaching job. She does have over six years of experience. I just don’t want you to be disappointed if he refuses.”
“It is interesting the lengths some people will go to reduce their debt.”
Claire chose to ignore that comment. “Has Tom given him a deadline? And what was the point of me talking with Emily but not knowing about John?”
“Tom has asked for an answer by the end of January and I was curious.” This time Claire raised her eyebrows. “I wondered if Emily would come right out and ask you about the job, and I figured that if you knew about it, she would think you persuaded me to offer it to him. Or more accurately, persuaded me to persuade Tom.”
Claire thought for a minute. “Well, I can honestly say it never occurred to me to ask for such a thing. And obviously Emily doesn’t realize that I don’t have that kind of influence over you.”
His smile flashed, but more unscrupulous this time. “Why, Mrs. Rawlings, I believe you have been known to be quite persuasive.” The enlightening conversation was done. Claire had a lot to consider. She didn’t feel good about the probability of John being employed by Rawlings Industries. However, she was honest both to Emily and Tony. That’s all she could do. Honesty was always the best policy, right?
Part of the happiness of life consists not in fighting battles,
but in avoiding them. A masterly retreat is in itself a victory.
—Norman Vincent Peale
Chapter 34
The new year began, and the routines of the past year continued. Tony left in the morning for work. Claire stayed home swimming in the indoor pool, working out in the gym, reading books, watching movies, and waiting for his return. She still relied on Catherine to inform her each evening of Tony’s plans. One change was that if he were in town he always came to her suite. She may even be asleep, but he slept with her. Another change was that he personally informed her of any events, gatherings, or activities that they would attend as a couple. Claire felt that was an improvement from Catherine’s last-minute information.
Together they attended two formal events in January. The University of Iowa held a banquet, preceded by cocktails and hors d’oeuvres, to recognize platinum donors. Mr. Anthony Rawlings, of course, was one of them. They also attended a political fund-raiser for the Iowa City District Attorney’s Office, where a speaker spoke about the role of private industry in the country’s financial recovery. Claire played her part well. She remembered all the rules of her first outing at the symphony. Now as Anthony Rawlings’s wife she didn’t need to be the perfect companion—she needed to be the perfect wife. She projected the persona well: beautiful, polite, contented, and appreciative.
Claire had been a newlywed over a month. And most of that time had been spent wandering around her home. The continual snow and cold even restricted her from getting outside into the woods. She wondered about Courtney or Sue. Perhaps they didn’t want to see her. She hadn’t seen or talked to anyone since Emily. That had been on January 1. The walls of her beautiful home were closing in upon her.
When Tony worked from home Claire joined him in his office. It wasn’t a requirement; she thought of it as a getaway from her normal routine. He mostly worked from Iowa City, but he also went out of town a few times. He said he wanted her with him on these business trips, but things were too busy. There would be no time for social activities, and she would be bored. He decided it was better for her to stay home.
She felt increasingly claustrophobic, and Tony seemed completely unaware of her plight. Claire decided that perhaps this qualified as one of those “I am a busy man. If you want something, you need to ask me” situations. One night after Tony returned from a short stay in Chicago and the two lay in his dark suite, Claire decided to ask, “I would like to go with you on your next business trip.”
“I told you, things are busy. You would be bored.”
“I’m bored now. I’ve barely been out of this house since our honeymoon. I’m going crazy.” She expected some realization, an apology for being so involved in business that he’d neglected his wife, perhaps some sweeping request for forgiveness.
That wasn’t what she received. Abruptly he turned. Sensing his face above hers, she could feel his breath on her face. “Really? You are bored?”
Resilient, “I am.”
“And you didn’t catch the end of the conversation?”
“I’m sorry, I didn’t. I will stay out of your way and we don’t need to go out on the town. I just want to get out of this house.”
“You have received many invitations for outings.” He remained inches from her face.
“Wh
at? What kind of invitations? And why didn’t I know about them?”
Tony explained, “You don’t know about them because I chose not to pass them on to you.” Claire waited while he continued, “During our wedding preparations you were extremely busy, sometimes you weren’t home when I returned. I didn’t like that.” His cadence slowed. “Besides, on New Year’s Eve you seemed to have memory issues. I decided that going out as Mrs. Rawlings alone was something that you were not ready to do.”
Claire could feel anger building within her chest and feared that if she spoke her words would ignite her husband’s fury, not subdue it. Therefore, she concentrated on keeping her lips pressed together as he continued, “And I like knowing that you are home, safe and out of trouble. I have too many things on my plate. I don’t need to worry about you having an accident.”
“From whom?” Claire asked assertively. She’d remained silent as long as she could.
“Excuse me?” Tony understood her tone. He wanted clarification on her meaning.
“The invitations that I have received, who are they from?”
“I believe your ability to understand has diminished with your memory. I said I chose not to forward them to you. I decided you will stay home, safe. Good night.” Tony lay back on his pillow.
She lay still for what seemed like hours. His breathing slowed and became rhythmic. For the first time since he’d proposed, she didn’t want to be with him. Claire decided that since they were in his suite, she could go to hers. She waited until she felt certain that he was asleep, and then gently lifted the covers. Feeling for her robe she heard his booming voice rip through the darkness. “What do you think you are doing?”