CHAPTER XII
"I SHALL STAY FOR A YEAR."
Nan was so unhappy that night that she could not sleep. She was gladthat she had a room to herself, for it did not matter how often shetossed from side to side, or how often she turned her pillow, or howoften she groaned aloud. Mr. Pryor's words, "There is no middle path,"kept ringing over and over in her ears. She thought of her mother,too, and of what her mother would feel if she saw her now--a littlegirl surrounded by every kindness, surrounded by luxuries and the goodthings of life, and yet, because she was afraid, going down and downand down the broad and steep path which led to destruction.
"It means that I will not see mother if I do not tell," thought thechild; and then she burst into tears. Towards morning she made up hermind that she would try to overcome her terrors; she would at leastsee Mr. Pryor and tell him exactly what had happened--she would tellhim the whole truth--and be guided by his advice.
"Perhaps he will not think it necessary for me to tell everything,"thought the child. "Anyhow, I know he will not be hard on me, for I donot think he could be that on any one."
Having finally made up her mind to confide in Mr. Pryor, she becamesoothed and comparatively happy, and dropped off towards morning intoa quiet sleep.
She overslept herself, as was but natural, and had to jump up anddress in a hurry; but hurry as she would she was late for breakfast.Miss Roy said:
"Nancy, this is not as it should be."
But she was a very gentle and considerate person, and when she saw howpale Nan's face looked, and how sad was the expression round her lips,she forbore to chide her further.
The children started off for school immediately after breakfast, andthe day's routine proceeded as usual. In the afternoon Nan went up toMiss Roy and made a request.
"I want to know if you will do something for me; there is something Iwant very, very badly."
"What is it, my dear?" asked the governess.
"Will you walk with me as far as Mr. Pryor's? I want to see him."
"But, my dear Nancy, you saw him yesterday."
"But I want to see him awfully badly again to-day."
"That sounds rather absurd."
"He was a great friend of mother's, and it is most important; may Igo, Miss Roy?"
Just at that moment Augusta strolled into the schoolroom.
"Ah, Nancy!" she said, "you promised to hold this wool for me. Thereis a great lot to be wound; it will take us quite half-an-hour. Come,we may as well start; I have got to wind all the coloured balls andput them in order for Lady Denby's bazaar."
"I cannot do it this evening," replied Nan, shrugging her shouldersand turning back in sheer desperation to speak to Miss Roy.
"And I am afraid," said Miss Roy, "I cannot go with you, dear, sothere is an end of it."
"What is it?" said Augusta. "What does she want, Miss Roy?"
"Why, this silly little girl," said Miss Roy, who saw no reason forkeeping Nan's request a secret, "wants me to walk with her as far asMr. Pryor's."
"Who in the name of fortune is Mr. Pryor?" asked Augusta.
"A friend of mine, and you have nothing to do with him," said Nan,speaking fast, and her cheeks flushing with anger.
"Hoity-toity!" cried Augusta. "But I rather think I have something todo with all your friends; for are you not my very own most specialfriend--are you not, Nan? Come here and tell me so; come and tell meso now before Miss Roy."
"I won't," said Nan.
"But I think you will, darling. Just come along this minute."
Nan went as if some one were pulling her back all the time. She gotwithin a foot of Augusta; there she stood still.
"Nearer still, sweet," said Augusta. "You are my very great friend,and I am your very great friend."
"How mysterious you are, Gussie," said Miss Roy. "Why, of course,everybody knows that you and Nancy are great friends."
"That is all right," said Augusta, "I just wish to proclaim it inpublic. I am very proud of our friendship.--I like you immensely,Nancy; all my life long I hope to be good to you. And now, kneel; youwill oblige me by winding this wool."
"I cannot. I must go out this evening."
"And I cannot go with you, Nancy, so there is an end of it, I fear,"said Miss Roy; and she walked out of the room, feeling rather annoyedwith Nancy.
"Now, Nancy, what is it?" asked Augusta.
"Nothing. I will hold your wool while you wind."
"What a cross face! It is not at all agreeable to me to have a girllike you standing in front of me. And I am so good to you, andabsolutely soiling my conscience for your sake--for, of course, Iought to tell what I know; I ought, but I will not. Now then, smile,won't you?"
"I cannot."
"Well, then, you need not smile. Here, hold this wool."
The next half-hour was occupied by poor Nan in holding skeins of wooluntil her arms ached. At the end of that time, to her great relief,Augusta was called by Mrs. Richmond to go downstairs. Nan had theschoolroom to herself. She stood still, pressing her hand to her eyes.The next instant Augusta dashed into the room.
"Hurrah!" she said, "my dear aunty Jessie is going to take me to thetheatre. I shall be out the whole evening. What fun! We are to getready immediately; we will be off in no time."
Augusta ran off to her own bedroom, and Nan went slowly into hers.Quick as thought she made up her mind. If no one would take her to Mr.Pryor, she would go to visit him alone. Miss Roy would be busydownstairs for some time and would not miss her; Mrs. Richmond andAugusta would be out; the two girls were spending the evening withfriends.
"The thing is too important. All my future hangs on it. I must seehim, and soon," thought the child.
She put on her hat and coat, watched her opportunity, and slippeddownstairs. She got out without any one noticing her, and having avery good eye for locality, in course of time found her way to Mr.Pryor's lodgings. She had walked the entire distance; it took herexactly half-an-hour. Trembling in every limb, she mounted the stepsand rang the bell. How often she had stood on those steps by hermother's side! That failing form, that wan face, those loving eyes,all returned to her memory now.
"It is for mother's sake--for mother's sake," she said to herself; andthen Phoebe opened the door. She gave a start of rapture, and catchinghold of Nan's hand, pulled her into the house.
"Why, Miss Nan," she said, "this is better and better. Yesterdayevening you came unexpected, and to-day you come again. But you areall alone, miss; where is Susan?"
"I ran away this time, and you must not tell anybody, Phoebe."
"Oh, ain't you got spirit just?" said Phoebe in a tone of admiration."But, miss, I hopes you won't get into trouble."
"No, no. I mean it does not matter. I want to see Mr. Pryor at once."
"Oh, Miss Nancy! ain't you heard, miss?"
"No. What--what?"
"Why, my dear, I am afraid you will be disappointed. He got a telegramthis morning from his son, who is took very bad in Spain, and he hasgone off to him. You know he had only one son, and he lives most ofhis time at Madrid, and he is took shocking bad--almost at death'sdoor--with some sort of fever; and the dear old gentleman was near offhis head all day, and he has gone to him. He is away, Miss Nan, in thetrain, being whirled out of London by this time. You cannot see him,miss, however hard you try."
"It does not matter," said Nan. She spoke in a low tone; there was asense at once of relief and of disappointment in her breast. It seemedto her at that moment that her good angels left her, and that her badangels drew near. Nevertheless, she was relieved.
"I will see you back if you wish, miss."
"No; it does not matter. I will get home as soon as I can."
"Have you any message, miss? Perhaps mistress has Mr. Pryor's address."
"No; I could not write anything. Good-bye, Phoebe."
"And you will not see my mistress?"
"No; I cannot."
"And you would not like me to see you back?"
"No, no; I will go
alone."
Before Phoebe could utter another word, Nan was running up the streetin the direction of Mayfield Gardens.
"God did not want me to tell, and there must be a middle path--theremust," thought the child.
She got back to the house without any one missing her. She wentupstairs again to the schoolroom. A moment or two later she had takenoff her hat and jacket, put them away neatly in the orderly littleroom which nurse insisted on her keeping, and sat down by theschoolroom fire. The day had been a warm one and the fire had onlybeen lit an hour ago, but Nan felt cold, and was grateful for itswarmth. She crouched near it, shivering slightly.
"I would have done it," she said to herself, "if Mr. Pryor had been athome; but God sent him away, and--well, I cannot do it now. I hope myconscience will not trouble me too badly. I will try to be awfullygood in every other way, and I must forget this; I must--I must."
It was a few days after Nan's stolen visit to Mr. Pryor that greatexcitement reigned in the house in Mayfield Gardens. In the firstplace, there had come a letter which greatly concerned Augusta. Thisletter was from her mother, begging of Mrs. Richmond to look afterAugusta for a year, for Mrs. Duncan and her husband were going to SouthAmerica on special business. They would be wandering about from placeto place for quite that time, and it would suit Mrs. Duncan uncommonlywell if Augusta remained with her sister. Mrs. Richmond herself spoketo Augusta about it.
"If you can put up with me, dear," she said, "I shall be glad to haveyou; but you know that ours is a somewhat humdrum life, and you areolder than my girls. Your mother proposed as an alternative that youshould go to a very fashionable finishing-school, where you would havea good deal of excitement and interest and be prepared for yourentrance into society."
"It does not matter," said Augusta. "I am just fifteen. When fatherand mother come back I shall be only sixteen; it will be time enoughthen to go to a finishing-school. And I am very happy with you, AuntJessie."
"I am glad of that, my dear; and I like to have you. Well, you can runupstairs to the schoolroom and tell the children; I am sure they willbe delighted."
"The only one who may not be delighted is Nan Esterleigh," remarkedAugusta in a dubious voice.
"Come, my dear child, what do you mean? Nan not delighted! Why, Ithought you were such special friends!"
"To tell you the truth, Aunt Jessie, I do not quite understand Nan;she is a very strange little girl. I have done my utmost to befriendly with her."
"That you certainly have, darling."
"And although to all appearance she is devoted to me, that is not thecase in reality. I think if you were to question her you would findshe does not like me at all. It is the fact of Nan's extraordinaryattitude towards me that makes me have any doubt of staying with youfor the next year, sweet Aunt Jessie."
"Then, my dear child, if such is the case I will have a talk with Nanmyself. You certainly must not be made unhappy by any such ridiculousreason. Nan is a dear little girl, and I promised her mother to bringher up and do for her and make her happy, but I certainly did not meanher to be rude or unpleasant to my own sister's child."
"Oh! I do not mind, Aunt Jessie; do not worry her. I just thought Iwould mention it. Perhaps I shall win her in the end if I continue tobe awfully kind, as I have been in the past. I take a lot of notice ofher, as you know."
"That you certainly do, dear."
"And you are so good to her--so wonderfully good!" continued Augusta.
"Never mind that, my child; I could never be anything else. And Nanowes me nothing; I have said that before."
Augusta kissed her aunt, and presently ran upstairs to the schoolroom.The children were having breakfast when she entered.
"Hurrah! Good news," said Augusta. "Of course, that is how people takeit. You thought, all of you, that I would be going back to father andmother in a few weeks' time. Well, I am not; I am to stay here for ayear--a year, positive. I am to be with you day and night for twelvewhole months. When you go to the country I will go with you, and whenyou come back from the country I will come back with you. And I am tohave regular lessons from this at school; and---- Oh, dear me! Nancy,you are glad, whoever else is sorry."
"Yes--of course," said Nancy. She said it in a trembling voice, andher face turned from white to red, and then from red to white again.
"Does she not look enraptured," said Augusta, turning with laughingeyes to Kitty.
Kitty made no reply. She was glad on the whole that her cousin shouldstay. "The more the merrier" was her motto. She felt almost annoyedwith Nan for the peculiarity of her attitude.
But the tidings that Augusta was to stay with them was completelyeclipsed by other news, which filled the hearts of the two littlegirls, Kitty and Nora, with untold bliss.
"What do you think?" said Kitty, rushing into the room just as Noraand Nan were putting on their hats to go to school. "Uncle Peter iscoming here to-day. He will stay for a fortnight or three weeks,mother says. Oh, this is heavenly! I am nearly off my head withdelight."
"Who is Uncle Peter? What does it mean?" said Nan.
"You will know what it means when you have seen him," said Kitty; "butI will try and tell you something. It means the height of happiness;it means the extreme of joy; it means--oh, everything delightful! Heis just perfect! He will be so sweet to you, too, Nan! He will besweet to Augusta. He will be sweet to us all. He is father's youngestbrother--much, much younger than father. He is quite young still, andhe is a captain in the army. And he is great fun--oh! great fun--andthe house gets full of sunshine when he is with us."
"I have never seen him," said Augusta; "I should like to."
"He will be sweet to you, Gussie. He will be delightful to us all. Oh,it is too good news! You never saw anything like the delight mother isin. I must rush off now and tell nursey; won't she be glad!"
That day as she walked to school, and worked at her lessons, and cameback again, there were three pieces of news rushing backwards andforwards in poor Nan's heart. Two of them were bad, and one was good.Mr. Pryor was away, therefore there was no middle path; Augusta--theterrible Augusta, whom she hated and feared--was absolutely to live inthe house for a whole year; and the children's uncle Peter, the manwho made everything right and turned gloom into sunshine, was comingto stay with them.