III
DOCTOR JOE
Doctor Joe's usually jovial face had suddenly become drawn and tired.He had not answered Thomas's question, "How, now, can we ever get th'money t' pay th' lad's way t' have th' great doctor cure him?" How,indeed, could they get the necessary money? What could they do to saveJamie's eyes without money? And he was thinking of the years before hecame to The Labrador--of what he had once been--of the years that hehad spent on The Labrador as a hunter and fisherman. Had his life beenwasted? he asked himself.
"We're in a tight pinch, but hard luck is bound to come now andagain," said Thomas, at length, startling Doctor Joe out of hisreveries, "and we'll try not to worry about un. If 'tweren't forJamie's eyes needin' t' be cured 'twouldn't be so bad."
"No, if 'tweren't for Jamie's eyes it wouldn't be so bad. If 'tweren'tfor Jamie's eyes," said Doctor Joe.
And then he turned and went out of doors and down to the beach, andfor a little while paced up and down, with his head bent in thought.
There is no regret in life so bitter as regret for indiscretions thathave ruined a career and ended life's hopes and ambitions. The worldis a desolate place indeed for a man to live in when he has noambition and no goal of attainment. He is simply existing--a clog inthe moving throng of doers. The man who does not go forward must ofnecessity go backward. There is no room in the hustle and bustle andjostle along the trail of life for one to stand still.
Now, as Doctor Joe paced the beach, he was thinking of these thingsand looking in retrospection upon his own life. What a wreck he hadmade of it! Once he had all but gained his life's ambition, and anoble ambition it was. Through years of toil and tireless effort hehad ascended the ladder of attainment. He had reached a high place inthe world. In those days he was strong and able and self-reliant. Thetop round of the high ladder which he had climbed so tediously waswithin his grasp. Then came a day when he lost his balance and slippedand fell to the very bottom. In an hour all that he had worked for andhoped for and won was lost, and with it his courage and ambition.
Doctor Joe, contemplating his past and reviewing the train ofcircumstances which had ended his career, showered upon himself bitterdenunciation and condemnation. He had indulged in appetites which hadseemed innocent and harmless enough at first, but which had graduallyand insidiously wormed their way into his soul until they had gainedpossession of him and had become his master. Then they had mercilesslyruined him and wrecked his life. Even the little fortune he hadaccumulated was lost. If he had only clung to that, at least, he wouldnow be in position to meet the expense of Jamie's necessary surgicaloperation.
"Oh God!" he moaned. "This boy's future and happiness are in my hands!What can I do? What can the impotent wreck that I am, do?"
What, indeed, could Doctor Joe do? He was so indifferent a trapperthat his earnings barely served to supply him with the ordinarycomforts and necessities of life. The journey to New York would be anexpensive one, and there appeared to him no other way by which Jamie'ssight could be saved.
Through the mist of departed years Doctor Joe turned back in fancy tohis own boyhood home. He saw his father's house, where he had grown toyoung manhood, and had planned the great things he was to do in theworld. That was when life and the world with all their possibilitieslay before him. Now they were behind him. There were no hopes orprospects for the future beyond a hand-to-mouth living from day today, with a gray shadow upon the past.
He saw the path leading up from the village street to the door of hisfather's cottage, and the green, well-kept lawn on either side, andhis mother's flower beds which she loved so well and nurtured with herown dear hands. He was there again in fancy. An odor of roses andsweet peas and honeysuckles came to his nostrils. He could see thefat, saucy robins hopping about upon the grass. And there was hismother at the door! How gentle and loving she always was. How she usedto tuck him into bed and kiss him good night, when he was little. Whatplans she built for him, and how she always told him that he must be agenerous and noble man when he grew up.
And then he passed on to the years when he helped his father, afterschool hours, in the little store around the corner, and the terribleday when his father died quickly, to be soon followed by his mother.How desolate the world seemed then! What a lonely struggle lay beforehim!
And when his father's estate was settled, and the store and the homewere sold, and he left the village, he had barely enough money in hispocket to meet his first year's expenses at college. But he had vowedto make his way, as his mother had wished, and also to be her ideal ofa man.
The years that followed were years of struggle, for it was not easywith bare hands to finish his education. But in those days he hadbrains and hope and courage, and the basic tenacity that will notsurrender. And he was inspired in those early years by a profoundbelief that his mother was near him. He could not see her, but herspirit walked with him and watched over him. It gave him courage tofeel her near him, and kept him straight when he was tempted to dowrong, for he would permit himself then to do nothing of which hismother would disapprove.
But somehow, later on in life, he had drifted away from her. He didnot think of her so often, and with passing years her memory dimmed,and sometimes he forgot to be true to himself and to her ideals.
Doctor Joe's thoughts dwelt for a time on the thing which had causedhis downfall. What a friend it had seemed at first, but how, when itgained possession of him it tortured and finally ruined him. And herehe was now--just a bit of human driftwood, cast up by the tide ofevents upon a far shore.
"Well," said Doctor Joe, finally, lifting his head and looking abouthim, "there's one consolation. Driftwood in this land may be used asfirewood, to help warm freezing fingers. It's a better fate thanfalling into a city sewer, or being cast upon a city's garbage heap."
And so Doctor Joe recalled himself to the present, and its necessitiesand obligations. What could he do? There was Thomas up in the cabinlying helpless with a broken leg, and Jamie going blind.
"If I were only the man I once was! If I were only the man I shouldbe!" he mused. "Then I might help them. But I'm a pretty useless stickhere, or anywhere. I've lost courage and ability. I'm not even anordinary trapper."
It was a hard problem to solve. The breaking of Thomas's leg would notordinarily have been so serious a matter. But Jamie's eyes were atstake. If Jamie were to go to New York to be operated upon there mustbe money. If Thomas could not hunt, where possibly could the money behad?
"Well," said he finally, "I don't see any way just at present, butthere's no use worrying. If I worry they'll all worry, and it will dothem no good. I'll do my level best, and put a cheerful face onthings, and keep smiling. That seems to be all there is to do justnow."
With this decision Doctor Joe turned sharply upon his heel and strodebriskly back to the cabin, singing as he went and as he entered:
"Old Worry's my foe, and he always brings woe, And he follows about wherever I go. He's always on hand, and he makes the world blue, And all about troubles that never come true.
"The worst of my foes are worries and woes, And all about troubles that never come true-- And all about troubles that never come true. The worst of my foes are worries and woes, And all about troubles that never come true.
"I'll put them behind me and be a real man, And I'll smile and be cheerful, as any one can; For it's foolish to fret, and worry, and stew, And all about troubles that never come true."
"I likes that song," said Thomas as Doctor Joe came in. "It kind ofmakes me feel better."
"There is something cheering about it," agreed Doctor Joe, "and thebest of it is, it's true that the most of the things we worry aboutnever happen."
"I think you're right about that," said Thomas.
"And now," continued Doctor Joe, "I've decided to stop here and lookafter you and things generally, while David and Andy take the fish tothe post, if Margaret won't find me in the way," and Doctor Joe turnedto Mar
garet.
"Oh, sir, you're _never_ in the way!" Margaret protested. "'Tiswonderful kind of you to stop with us. 'Tis fine of you!"
"'Tis that," agreed Thomas heartily.
"Then I'll stay," said Doctor Joe, "until the lads get back. Unlessthere's a contrary wind tomorrow they'll be back tomorrow evening, andI can go home then, and make things snug for winter over at BreakCove. Then I'll come back here now and again and spend Saturdays withyou if you like."
"Will you, now? Will you do that?" asked Thomas eagerly.
"Yes," assured Doctor Joe, "you're likely to get contrary, and if I'maround I'll make you behave and do as you're told."
"I'm thinkin' 'twill get tiresome layin' here, and," grinned Thomas,"I'm like t' get cross and want t' get up and stretch, and if Idoes--if I does, Doctor Joe, you're like t' have _your_ hands full o'business if you tries t' stop me."
"I'll take care of you!" laughed Doctor Joe. "Just let's agree, ifthings get tedious, we'll keep cheerful and not let anything we can'thelp worry us."
"Aye," said Thomas, "we'll agree to that, though I'm not doubtin''twill be a bit hard now and again to be cheery with a broken leg alllashed up like mine is, and me on my back."
And so it was agreed that they were to look misfortune squarely in theface, as brave men should, without flinching. And need enough theywere to have, in the months to come, for all the courage and fortitudethey possessed.