“Well, that was fun,” I said quietly, not daring to look Ezra’s way or address the fact that he’d seemed jealous of Christopher for merely talking to me, so much so that he’d actually shoved the guy away from me.
“You know he’s gay, right?” I felt the need to inform him.
In return, Ezra merely hissed out a frustrated breath and glanced up at the ceiling.
When the elevator stopped on the third floor, he finally gave me his attention again. “I’ll walk you back to Broderick’s office.”
I nodded stiffly and stepped into the hall. It was empty, so thankfully no one saw us together, because I had a horrible feeling we looked like a principal and student as he walked me to the office where he was about to suspend me. For life.
I risked a peek up at him as we reached my stopping place. Clearing his throat, he readjusted his tie. Then, without looking at me, he murmured, “You were right. We should’ve just let Saturday night become a nice memory and left it at that.” His expression darkened. “Now it’s ruined.”
Rotating on his heel, he strode away.
I stared after him, trying not to cry.
Here I was; I’d finally gotten my wish to stop anything and everything there was between us, and it hurt more than I cared to admit. I guess this was why people always said to be careful what you wished for.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
“Okay, why the fuck did he leave his shoe on my desk?”
Brick’s voice from right behind me made my heart nearly leap out of my chest before I spun around in the doorway of his office where I’d been standing and watching Ezra march off. He sat at his desk, Ezra’s shoe in hand.
When he waved the familiar black pump, I slumped against the doorjamb and closed my eyes. “Dammit.” Then with a frown, I opened my eyes, straightened, and pointed to my stepbrother. “This time, you’re returning it to him.”
Brick lifted a single eyebrow. “This time?”
Crap. Said too much.
Wincing and then offering him a big smile, I pressed my hands together in prayer before asking, “What’re the chances you could just forget you heard that?”
He set the shoe down and folded his arms over his chest as he rocked back in his chair. “About zero, I’d say.”
“That’s what I thought.” With a sigh, I fell into the chair across from him and told him everything, leaving out the details, until, no… I spilled those too.
“And he has the softest lips known to mankind,” I gushed twenty minutes later. “I’m not lying, Brick. They’re like sexy little pillows, made just for—”
“Okay, that’s enough.” Brick lifted a hand and made a sour face. “A, I don’t want to know what his lips feel like. And B, does my mother know anything about any of this?”
I blew out a breath. “No. Nothing.”
“Good.” He tapped the tips of his fingers together thoughtfully and nodded before repeating, “Good.” He motioned to me. “You know, thank God for my unwitting brilliance in making you wear that mask to the party. Now, no one will know you were even there, in case, someone actually saw you guys sucking face.”
I wrinkled my expression over the term sucking face before asking, “Unwitting brilliance?”
“It’s a thing. Look it up.” He pointed both thumbs at his chest. “My picture will be next to the description.”
Slumping both arms onto his desktop and then plunking my forehead down on them, I mumbled into the inner part of my elbow. “What am I going to do, Brick?”
“Well, for starters,” he said, sitting forward. “You’re never going to talk to Ezra Nash again. Not if you value your life, anyway.”
Pain slashed through me, like a knife severing all the organs inside me. Even the idea of never talking to Ezra hurt. I knew I didn’t know him well, but everything we’d shared together, even when we weren’t seeing eye to eye had just felt so right.
But I knew Brick’s suggestion was smart. So I nodded and drew in a deep, bolstering breath. “Okay,” I said, sitting upright. “And?”
He shook his head. “What do you mean and? Don’t talk to him again. The end. All crises averted.”
When I scowled at him, he lifted his hands. “Hey, what else do you want me to say? Don’t go near him, don’t message him, and don’t even think about him. My mother will have you cut into little pieces and fed to the fishes if you do. It’s as simple as that.”
“But—”
“No buts. I never told you about the guy she dated before meeting your dad, did I?”
I shook my head, surprised to learn this. “No. What about him?”
“Turns out, he was already married. After my mother found out, neither him nor his wife were heard from again.”
With a snort, I shook my head. “That’s not funny, Brick.”
Brick shrugged. “I’m not joking.”
A frown puckered my brow. Of course he had to be joking. When he didn’t crack a smile, I narrowed my eyes. His expression didn’t change.
Okay, then. Good way to intimidate me into following his instructions.
“But I can’t just avoid him completely. What if he comes in here to talk to you, or we accidentally run into each other in the hall, or—”
“Nope.” Brick shook his head. “He doesn’t exist to you anymore, little sister. If Lana Judge wants him—and she does—then she’d sooner see you both dead than let you anywhere near each other. And this isn’t me having any kind of loyalty for my mother talking. This is me being honestly worried about you. Don’t ever kiss him again, kid. It’s for your own safety.”
I blew out a long sigh. I didn’t think this was as life-threatening as Brick was making it out to be, but yeah, I got his point. Lana would put me through a personal, living hell if she ever saw me around Ezra. Not that such a situation was even a possibility anymore, anyway. After our conversation on the elevator, I’m pretty sure I was the one who was dead to Ezra. But the added hopelessness made it even more depressing.
“I got you,” I murmured, dejected and staring down at my hands. “I’ll never talk to him again.”
“Good.” He slapped his palms together as if that was that. “Well, since everyone’s into late breakfast, early lunches these days, I’m off to dine on someone myself—I mean, with someone.” He winked at me, letting me know he really meant the former, as he pushed to his feet. “Be back in a while.”
I rolled my eyes. Eww. “I guess I’ll just finish my filing project then.”
He shot a finger gun at me. “Sounds like a plan, kid. Don’t wait up.” And he was out the door, leaving me alone in his office with two piles of papers left to put away.
It made me wonder exactly how much he actually worked at work. But then, today was a strange day. I don’t think I’d ever strayed from my own tasks as much as I had this morning either. Meaning, I really needed to get my tush into gear.
Humming to myself—a tune by Pink—I picked up the papers to file and got to it. Time passed. Pink became Linkin Park. Two piles shrank to one. And finally I was left with only the problem-child sheets. I either needed to make new files for them, or I wasn’t sure what they needed to be filed under.
When I heard footsteps enter the office behind me, I huffed out an exasperated breath, asking, “Where’s the file for the purse designs by Chauncy,” without even glancing Brick’s way. Then I gave an irritated growl and shoved a piece of hair out of my eyes. “Do you have a file for Chauncy or do I need to make one?”
“I have no idea.”
The answer made me jump and yelp in surprise before I whirled around, and not because of what Brick had said, but because the words hadn’t come from my stepbrother at all.
Ezra’s turbulent blue eyes swirled as they met mine before he stepped fully into the office and shut the door behind him.
I suddenly felt breathless.
Had Brick suggested I never talk to Ezra again? I couldn’t remember. Honestly, who could remember an insignificant little suggestion like that when
your blood was surging through your veins and your heart was pounding like a drum? All my mind could focus on was the fact that he was here. Ezra. He was right in front of me again.
Did this mean he was going to give me a second chance? That he finally believed me?
“I think I’ve discovered the identity of one of Lana’s spies,” he said.
My eyes flashed wide. At first, I was sure he was going to point at me and start casting blame, but then I realized he didn’t sound accusative. He sounded more… Hmm, shell-shocked maybe.
“Who?”
He didn’t answer immediately, just stared at me. I was about to snap my fingers in front of his face and ask if he was still with me when he shook his head, murmuring, “Lana just paid a visit to my office.”
I blinked a moment before frowning. “Okay,” I said slowly. How did that tell him anything about who her spies were?
“She’s never, not once, come to my office before. She’s always made me come down to hers.”
I nodded. That made sense. Not only did it sound like Lana, making people go to her, but, “She’s afraid of elevators,” I explained.
Ezra squinted, seemingly thrown by that statement. “Really?”
I nodded. “Brick told me her dad was a mortician who punished her when she was younger by putting her into empty coffins. For like hours at a time.”
Visibly recoiling, Ezra blinked rapidly. “What the fuck? You’re shitting me?”
“Nope.” I winced again. “That’s what she always told Brick, anyway, when he was a kid, to get him to behave.”
“Damn.” Ezra hissed out a breath and shoved his hands into his pockets before wincing as if he’d just swallowed a painful barb. “I’m not sure I wanted to know that. I’m not exactly comfortable feeling sympathetic toward her.”
“I know.” Nodding because I so completely got what he was saying, I added, “But it probably also helps explain why she grew up to become the way she did. She has to be the most powerful person in the room. No way, no how is she letting anyone put her in a little box again. No more weakness or fear for her. She strikes before anyone can strike at her.”
Ezra glanced toward me, his gaze thoughtful. “I bet you’re right,” he finally murmured, making my stomach quiver with emotion. I gulped, liking it a little too much when he looked at me this way.
“So yeah,” I said, clearing my throat. “Any enclosed spaces are not her friends. She avoids elevators and pretty much any coffin-like places if she can help it. And well, stairs are probably beneath her because… You know, she’s Lana Judge.” I rolled my eyes.
Ezra blinked at me before saying, “Which must also be why she insisted on keeping her office on the first floor when I joined the company.”
I nodded. “Exactly.”
“Weird,” he said. “I always thought—” Breaking himself off from whatever he’d been about to say, he shook his head and got back on track. “Anyway, she stormed into my office just now and demanded to know who the blonde-headed tart was that I’d had breakfast with?”
My mouth fell open, offended I’d been called a tart. Then I remembered, for Lana, that was actually a very mild insult.
“She was pissed,” Ezra went on. “Like so mad she seemed…”
He shook his head, at a loss for words, so I helpfully suggested, “So mad she seemed jealous?”
He narrowed his eyes and huffed out a breath. “Look, I’m not saying I’m buying into your ridiculous theory that she wants me, but yeah. She seemed pretty fucking jealous.”
I preened, knowing I was right. Lana had flipped out as soon as she realized Ezra was interested in another woman. It always felt good to be so right about something. I did a mental victory dance.
But it put Ezra in a lousy mood. His scowl pretty much told me to shut up and stop gloating already. “Are you paying attention here?” he demanded. “She didn’t see us together herself, otherwise she would’ve already known who the blonde-headed tart was.” I scowled at him for repeating that vile phrase, because, damn it, I wasn’t a tart. “And only one person saw us together, aside from your stepbrother, who knows who you are too, so he probably wouldn’t describe you to his mother as a blonde-headed anything either.”
I gasped as I realized what he was saying. “Christopher.”
Ezra nodded. “Yeah. So I thought I should warn you. As soon as Elton learns who you are, it’s going to be all-out war. If you’re right about her reaction to knowing we’re in any way associated, then shit’s about to hit the fan.”
I pressed my hands to my stomach, feeling vaguely ill. “What a traitor,” I said to myself, unable to believe Christopher was one of my stepmother’s dreadful little moles. A shiver of revulsion consumed me. “I can’t believe I ever had a crush on that… That… Sanctimonious little turd bucket.”
Tell me how to clean my stained shirt, would he? Well, he needed to learn how to clean his stained, little double-crossing soul!
“Wait.” Ezra stopped pacing and swung to face me, his eyebrows going up. “You had a crush on Elton?”
Oh crap. Had I said that out loud? I flashed my gaze to Ezra, who was looking somewhat jealous as well as unbelievably pissed off.
“Thought you said he was gay,” he hissed.
“I, uh.” I cleared my throat and winced. “Yeah, he is… Which I found out right before I was going to flirt with him.” I tried to self-consciously laugh it off. “It was just a small, insignificant little crush. I mean, today was literally the second time I’d ever even talked to him.”
“Interesting,” he deadpanned. “Today was literally the second time you’d ever talked to me.”
My mouth fell open. “Yeah, but that’s totally not the same thing, and you know it.”
“I don’t know shit,” he admitted. “Everything I thought I knew about you on Saturday has ended up being dead wrong. For all I know, you and Elton could be—”
“We’re not!” I hissed, glancing toward the door in worry because his voice had risen enough for someone walking by in the hall to hear through the closed door—if anyone had indeed been walking by. Turning back to him, I scowled. “Christopher and I are nothing. I watched a YouTube video on the JFI page once where he was giving a presentation about a pair of pants, and I thought hey, he’s cute and amusing, so I entertained a couple daydreams about him before I learned he didn’t even date my type. So, no, we have never touched, or kissed, or any of that. Now stop acting like a jealous nitwit.”
Ezra’s eyebrows lifted. Then he scowled and opened his mouth, but I kept talking over him. “He has a boyfriend. Brick planned on introducing me to him at the Halloween party until we saw him kissing some guy on the dance floor.”
Jaw hardening, Ezra sniffed. “Oh, so you still liked him the night you met me. Minutes before you met me. Was I just some rebound hookup then? Someone to make you feel powerful again, to reassure yourself you could still get any straight guy you wanted?”
I pulled backward, startled by the venom in his voice and the harsh brutality in his words. “Wow. That was a little uncalled for.”
In answer, he withdrew a step and bowed his head, brooding. “Maybe,” he admitted quietly.
I wanted to argue more and say I couldn’t get any guy I wanted, but hell, I’d caught Ezra’s attention, hadn’t I? Maybe I was more alluring than I’d ever thought possible. Because he wasn’t just any guy. He was… He was everything.
But the expression in his eyes when he glanced up at me was heartbreaking. As mad as he’d sounded moments ago, he looked absolutely crushed, as if every expectation he’d had about me had been shattered. I had let him down in the worst way possible, by not remaining the mysterious enigma I’d been in that yellow Power Ranger costume.
Swallowing, I tried to think up some way to soften this painful blow for him, while combatting all the agony he was causing me with his biting accusations. But I must’ve taken too long to respond.
He sniffed and turned away, dismissing me. “I don’t know wh
y I was so worried and even bothered to warn you about Lana and her spies. I’m sure someone like you can handle a witch like her just fine.”
He left the office without another word. I stared after him, feeling hollow inside before I sank into my desk chair and pressed the sheet of paper I’d been holding to my chest.
Someone like you. That hurt the most. He truly, honestly thought I was like Lana: manipulative and deceitful and cruel. I’d always worked so hard to be a kind, honest, upfront person. To be considered the very opposite pinched a painful nerve, a very raw, exposed, painful nerve.
I was such a failure.
Everything I’d learned about Ezra since stepping into that garden with him had only endeared him to me more. He was witty and considerate, smart and passionate. And I had doubled my own expectations, daydreaming fifty times more about him in the past two days than I ever had about Christopher Elton in the last six months I’d crushed on him. It broke my heart to know Ezra kept meeting all the expectations I made about him and going above and beyond them, while all I’d only ever done in return was disappoint him.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I was still blue when I clocked out of work. It was the first time I actually got to use the JFI time clock to clock out, too. I should’ve been delighted about that alone. I was now a full-time employee at my father’s company. Woot-woot! It felt as if I’d already half reached my dreams. I could practically feel my father’s spirit grinning in pride. The sensation of that’s my girl seemed to shimmer through me as I left the office. I should’ve wanted to celebrate, rejoice.
But my encounters with Ezra had left me more maudlin than festive. I couldn’t shake the feeling that I’d really hurt him. I knew talking to someone a total of maybe an hour and a half all together didn’t make us close or anything, but there’d been something between us, something that made me feel as if I’d always known him, as if my soul had seen his and said, oh, there you are.