Standing over him, she slowly leaned down, placing her hands on his armrests, and I saw him look up at her and grow still.
She was talking to him, and he was letting her.
My mouth went dry.
Her back arched as she spoke, her leg bent up, and I could tell she was doing her best to get him to notice her breasts as she inched closer to his face.
I couldn’t see Madoc or Jax. I couldn’t see Fallon or Juliet anymore.
I could only see him drop his eyes, looking like he was struggling with what to do.
Maybe he really wanted it.
They were together once, after all. He’d enjoyed sex with her enough to go back for more. Four years had passed, he had returned to Shelburne Falls, and I still hadn’t given him my heart. Maybe he was considering it.
I would never find out, right?
Do it.
The back of my eyes burned, and my heart raced, and I wanted him to touch her. Piper would be an unforgiveable betrayal after what she’d done to me, and the pain would be extreme. My heart would get hard, just like after he’d left, and I’d be steel again.
But his angry jaw flexed like he was pissed or something, and for a moment I thought he wouldn’t, but . . .
“Oh, my God.” Fallon looked away.
Juliet looked down.
And I breathed like the room was running out of oxygen.
We all watched as he stood up and she took his hand, leading him through a back doorway to the private VIP rooms.
I slowly shook my head, watching him disappear with her. He could get a lap dance out here. Why was she taking him somewhere private?
Taking a slow sip of my beer, I straightened my back, refusing to let them see how I felt like someone had torn out my heart and stuck a knife in it.
I wanted to go home.
I wanted to go to bed and get up and read in the morning and get ready for my race and walk away from him as if he’d never mattered.
But instead I crumbled.
I gasped, dropping my head and shaking as I started crying. The tears spilled down, and I couldn’t breathe.
Oh, God, why couldn’t I breathe?
I pushed on my chest over my heart, willing it to stop trying to beat through my skin.
“Tate,” Juliet cried, grabbing me and wrapping her arms around me. “Tate, don’t.”
She buried her head in my neck, gripping me tight, and I couldn’t stand it. The cries suddenly lodged in my throat, and I needed air.
I shrugged her off and scooted out of the other side of the booth. “Just give me a minute.” And I ran for the bathrooms, through the same doorway where Jared and Piper had disappeared.
But as soon as I entered the darkened hallway, a hand clamped over my mouth, and I tried to scream. I twisted and struggled as an arm wrapped around my waist and hauled me up, carrying me through another door.
No!
My heels dropped off my feet as my legs thrashed above the ground, and I heard the door slam shut as I tried to bite and struggle away, but he had me too tight.
The hard body at my back swung us around and walked me into the closed door, his breath at my ear.
“You kill me,” he said, and the shaky breath sounded like he was almost crying.
Jared.
I stilled, sucking in short breaths through his fingers as he set me down.
His threatening whisper was filled with pain. “You really do kill me, Tate.”
He wasn’t with Piper. I had barely seen the dimly lit room when he’d walked me in here, but I had noticed seating and a table.
But no Piper.
He’d been expecting me. He’d known I was here.
He tightened his arm around my waist, and I didn’t move except for my hands shaking. I was afraid of him. He felt enraged, and I hadn’t seen him like this since the night I shut down one of his parties senior year by turning off his electricity.
“I knew the minute you walked into the club,” he growled in my ear. “I was amused. I actually thought you were jealous.”
His mouth went to my hair as he inhaled shallow breaths, clearly angry and about to lose control.
“I loved you watching me,” he said. “But then you had to pull this shit.” His voice grew hard. “She comes over saying someone bought me a lap dance, and I knew right away it was you. You really think I’m nothing, don’t you? You thought I’d want her?”
I shook my head. “I didn’t think that—”
“Then why test me?!” he yelled, cutting me off and slamming his fist into the door ahead of me, making me jump.
He let me go, and I spun around, seeing his chest rise and fall hard—and the whole time he looked at me like I’d betrayed him.
Guilt dug at my insides, and I couldn’t even look at him. I was low, and I’d assumed the worst about him, and he was beyond hurt.
Before I’d always felt either on an even keel with Jared or that I was above him. Better in some way than the guy who had bullied me for so long.
But right now, he was too good for me.
I didn’t know where Piper was, but he wasn’t with her, and that was all that mattered.
When he looked down on me, the disdain and disappointment in his eyes closed in on me like a grave.
Veering around, he grabbed the door handle, and I shot out, wrapping my arms around his chest and burying my face in his back.
“Jared, please don’t go.” My voice shook, and his body froze. “Please?” I begged. “I didn’t think you’d do anything with her,” I whispered, keeping my forehead on his back. “I wanted you to, though. I wanted it to hurt.”
He stayed still, listening to me in the quiet room.
“It’s easier to be angry and pass judgment than it is to take a chance. It feels stronger.”
I felt his chest inflate with a breath. “Yeah, I know that feeling.”
I laid the side of my face on his back, hugging him close. “Nothing feels right without you. Not school or home,” I cried. “Everything is just giving me enough air to get to the next day without you. I never stopped being yours.”
He dropped his head back, letting out a sigh.
I swallowed, taking my chance. “I love you, Jared. I’ve always loved you, and I will always love you.”
There was no one but him, and even when he wasn’t around, he was. I would never be free of him—because I didn’t want to be.
Chapter 14
Jared
I lowered my head, the stress that had built up in my nerves slowly ebbing away. I couldn’t believe she’d finally just said it.
All the nights. All the time and the phone calls and texts I’d sent . . . Every day, it had seemed as if she was moving farther away from me, and the memories of her were only dreams that had never been real.
Tatum Brandt loved me, and I was never letting her go again.
“I know what I want,” she said, her voice thick with unshed tears. “I know where I’m going. I know what I stand for, and I don’t do things that I don’t want to do.” She turned me around, her eyes holding me still. “And even so, without you in my life, I’m not happy. For better or worse, you’ve been my other half since I was ten years old, and I can’t imagine a future I’d want without you in it. You’re the love of my life.”
Looking down at her, seeing the stormy expression in her eyes fill with expectation and nervousness—what would I do or say?—there was only one way to carry on. One way to move on.
There were no more words. Nothing to discuss and nothing to resolve. Every inch of me was hers, and I was sick of living without her for another second.
“Do you still love me?” she prompted quietly when I didn’t say anything.
I looked away, licking my dry lips as I knelt down, picking up her heels off the floor. Sitting up on one
knee, I wrapped my hand around her slender ankle and helped her foot into her shoe, one following the other.
“Jared, say something,” she begged, the worry making her voice grow thick.
But I didn’t.
Let her sweat a bit. I was so sick of talking.
I just wanted my girl.
Standing up, I took her hand and pulled her through the door, heading back out into the club. She missed a step but caught herself, and picked up her pace to keep up with me.
The music danced around us, and I glanced at Tate’s booth, seeing that Madoc had found Fallon and was hugging her back with his lips on her neck. Juliet was near the stage, sitting on Jax’s lap, watching a dancer as he kissed her shoulder.
Good. They had rides home, then.
“Where are we going?” Tate sounded worried. “Are you still mad or something?”
I smiled to myself, leading her out of the club. Digging out my keys, I hit the button to unlock the car as soon as we hit the parking lot and moved swiftly, opening up the door for her.
“Get in,” I told her. She blinked, looking confused, but got in the car, swinging her legs in so I could close the door.
Moving around the rear, I opened my door and immediately sat down and turned my head to look at her.
“Jared.” She shook her head. “Why won’t you talk to me?”
I reached over, lifting her underneath her arms, and slid her body over to sit sideways on my lap, her legs lying over the console.
Her back rested against my door, and her face, inches from mine, turned wide-eyed to me.
I reached up, cupping the side of her face. “Can we just skip to the end?” I asked softly. “I’m tired of missing you, Tate.”
And that was it. No more talking, no more arguing, no more denying what couldn’t be changed . . . I only lived in her orbit, and I would die there, too. There was no choice to be made.
I brought my hand up, threading my fingers through her hair and holding the back of her head as I hovered my lips over hers.
“I love you,” I whispered and pulled her in, my mouth sinking into hers as her shocked whimper vibrated across my tongue.
Her sweet smell filled my nostrils as I sucked her tongue into my mouth and barely let her up for air.
I loved playing with her. I held her tight, so I could do whatever the hell I wanted. For three years in high school, I’d denied myself what I wanted, and for the last two years, she’d kept me from reclaiming what I wanted, and my peace of mind was fried.
By the time I was satisfied, she wouldn’t be able to walk.
I moved over her mouth, sinking my teeth into her bottom lip and dragging it out and then diving back in again to play with her tongue.
She whimpered again but didn’t even try to resist me as I controlled the kiss. My lips hummed with the feel of her, but before I could slide my hands anywhere I wasn’t going to want to let go of, I pulled away, sucking in a breath.
Her chest rose and fell hard, but she opened her mouth again, coming at me for more.
I pulled back, shaking my head, and she searched my eyes, looking pained.
Before she could protest, I started the car, sliding my hand under her arched knees to shift.
Although it was hard to drive, I wasn’t moving her. I doubted I’d let her away from me for a very long time.
Pulling out of the parking lot, I jumped onto the highway, feeling her settle into my lap and turn her tears into an excited little breath as I sped down the road. I still had my left hand behind her back and in her hair, so I was shifting and steering with my right.
And the whole time I was trying to keep my lead foot light on the gas, because I was dying to get home and inside of her. My cock was painfully restricted as it tried to grow but couldn’t. It was already swelling as if it knew the feel of her thighs less than an inch away, and her wet tongue licking her lips right now.
She nuzzled her nose into my neck and held my head with her hand as she sucked in a breath. And then I let out a groan, damn near shutting my eyes as she nibbled under my ear.
“Tate,” I breathed out, reaching down to adjust my swelling dick. Fuck.
Damn, she knew what she was doing. Her tongue darted out, so softly, licking and then kissing my neck and then trailing kisses across my cheek, and eating me up like I was a damn dessert.
I breathed in and out, punching the shifter down into sixth as the trees loomed on both sides of the dark night. We were in the middle of nowhere and wouldn’t be home for another half hour.
“Jared,” she whispered in my ear. “Please.”
And before I knew it she’d reached behind her neck and unclasped the neck tie, letting the top of her little black dress fall to her waist, exposing her breasts.
My eyes flared, fucking hating her for a split second as I darted my gaze to her breasts, and I couldn’t touch her, because my damn hand was driving the damn car.
I jerked the steering wheel right, and then seeing that I veered, I let out a frustrated growl. “Baby, please,” I begged.
She dove into my neck again, teasing, “You always liked my tits,” she taunted.
The blood in my dick raced, and I winced as it tried to stretch under my pants.
“I can feel you,” she said, nudging my hard-on with her ass. “And you feel you so good.”
Jesus, Tate. Stop. Please stop. I wanted her in a bed.
Her nose rubbed against my cheek, and she looked up at me. “I don’t think I can wait until we get home.” Her eyes looked desperate. “Please,” she begged again.
I shook my head, letting out a sigh as I looked her in the eyes. “Two years, and you’re going to make me fuck you in a car, aren’t you?” I damn near pouted.
She smiled, and I shifted down, skidding into a right-hand turn onto a country road, because there was no way I was going to win.
Hell, I didn’t even want to anymore.
I barreled down the gravel road, still going nearly eighty miles an hour and not giving a shit that the rocks were kicking up under my tires and probably chipping the paint.
Tate was devouring my neck, and my goddamn hands could barely stay steady on the road.
“Baby, damn,” I gasped, taking her lips and kissing the shit out of her as I tried to drive.
Veering to the right again, I flew onto Tanner Path, which was nothing but a small road—barely big enough for one car—that lined one of the little inlet ponds that served as runoff from the river. Sinking far enough into the darkness, where no car would venture this time of night, I slowed to a halt, the grind of the gravel music to my ears.
Setting the parking brake, I shot the seat back for legroom while she kicked off her shoes and swung a leg over my thighs, straddling me.
Her eyes spilled fire, looking like a starving animal before she grabbed my shirt between the buttons, ripping it open.
“Damn,” I growled through my teeth, reaching behind her back and ripping her dress in two as well, tearing the scraps away from her body.
Grabbing her hair at the back of her head, I pulled her neck back and took a handful of her ass in my other hand before taking her nipple in my mouth.
She gasped, her body shaking with shock, and I felt high as she slowly melted. She grinded on me, in nothing but her black lace G-string, and I couldn’t believe how painfully turned on I was. My dick was fucking begging for her warmth.
I bit and sucked, trailing my hands all over her, squeezing and yanking her hips.
“Now,” she whimpered, squirming against my cock and digging her nails into my bare chest. “Jared, now.”
I opened the driver’s side door, giving myself more room as I set my leg outside and reclined the seat back just an inch.
“You still on the pill?” I breathed hard, unfastening my belt.
She nodded frantically,
leaning down to kiss and nibble my chest.
I freed my cock, grabbing her ass and pushing her up over it. She sucked in a shaky breath, and I took the delicate fabric of her G-string in my fist and leaned into her forehead. “Your pussy will feel my tongue tonight,” I growled, “but for now . . .” I yanked, tearing the material away from her body, the pathetic threads disappearing in the black interior of the car.
She wrapped her smooth fingers around my dick, which stood as stiff as a flagpole, and positioned it underneath her, working me into her tight body. My jaw dropped open with my gasp as I crowned her.
Looking into her eyes, her full, beautiful breasts begging for my attention, I punched my hips up and sheathed my cock so deep inside her that she screamed, hitting the roof with her hand as she moaned and took in breath after quick breath.
“Jared!”
I held her hips, my body tense and tight as I closed my eyes and sank in to the hilt.
My cock throbbed inside her, and slivers of pleasure shot from my stomach and thighs, all leading inward to my groin.
Fuck, she was tight.
I took her ass in my hands and rocked her into me, my lips layered with hers. “Fuck me, Tate,” I breathed out, begging against her mouth. “Fuck me like you hate me.”
She pulled her hips back, and then slammed into me again, throwing her head back with a moan.
“Yes,” I growled.
Her back was pressed against the steering wheel, and I dived down, sucking a nipple into my mouth as she fucked me.
Her hips rolled into me, grinding her wet heat into my body so I felt every tight inch of her. She moved up and down my cock, faster and faster, back and forth, her hips rolling forward and backward, forward and then backward again, and I held her sweet body, already glistening with sweat as she rode me like I was her fucking toy.
She leaned back, flashing me a grin before she ripped my shirt and jacket wide, bringing them both down my arms.
“Get it off,” she ordered.
I whipped the jacket and shirt away, my fucking dick throbbing a mile a minute inside her as I tossed my shit I don’t know where. She reached down, reclining the seat all the way and hooking her thigh over mine, hanging it out the open door.