When I looked at Auralee though, I saw the same hurt in her eyes. She missed Kassia, but she was worried about me. She didn’t want to lose me too. “I’ll try.”
“Good. Come to class with me tomorrow?”
“Okay.” I gave in.
She smiled genuinely. “Thank you.”
That night, the tears poured down my cheeks again, and my head pounded from crying for so long. I hugged her pillow tight trying to squeeze it into the gaping hole in my chest, hoping that it would help close it, if even just for a minute. Why? Why did she have to die? Why did she have to be the one? Why couldn’t it have been someone else’s best friend? She was a good person and didn’t deserve to die. She saved me. How did that translate into punishing her by death?
I didn’t know how I would ever get through this. How do you get over the death of the person closest to you? How do you even begin to heal from something like that? I ran my finger over the picture of us and whispered, “I miss you.”
* * *
The next morning, I got up when the alarm went off. I was sleeping in Kassia’s bed again. I forced myself to get up and walk down to the bathroom. I took a shower and went back to my room to get dressed. It was unnaturally quiet getting ready for school, and when I went to put my make-up on, I broke down in tears again.
Kassia and I always shared our make-up, picking on each other’s styles. How was I supposed to get through a day of classes when I couldn’t even put on make-up? Screaming, I threw the bag of make-up across the room.
“What happened?” Auralee pounded on the door. “Mira? Are you okay?”
I unlocked the door and let her in. She took one look and threw her arms around me. I sobbed on her shoulders for a few minutes. “I can’t do this.”
“You can. For her.” She cleaned up the make-up and handed me a tissue. After my tears dried, she said, “You don’t need any make-up. You’re beautiful without it. Let’s go eat some breakfast and get to class.” She tugged on my hand.
I didn’t budge. I didn’t want to go. I didn’t want to face anyone or answer their questions. There were so many things I didn’t want to do. I wanted to stay in our room…my room, and live in my memories. But, Auralee was there, holding my hand. I took a deep breath and followed her to the dining hall.
I must have been quite a sight because everybody was staring and whispering. Still holding onto my hand, Auralee led me over to our table and pushed me into a sitting position. “I’m going to get food.”
Noe was already there and she nodded at Auralee. Turning back to me, she said, “Hey.”
“Hi.”
“I’m glad you’re here.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that. I wasn’t glad I was here. I didn’t know why anyone cared that I was here. Even ‘thanks’ didn’t seem like a good response. So, I kept my mouth shut.
Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Zane notice I was there. Oh God, not now. He hurried over. “Hi Mira.”
“Hi.”
“I’ve been calling you.”
“I know.” I had been ignoring my phone, even turning it off to shut it up. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be with Zane. I just had a lot to process right now.
He looked a little sad. “I hope I didn’t bother you.”
“It was annoying at times,” I said, not thinking.
“Oh, sorry,” he muttered.
I sighed, scolding myself for being such a bitch. “It’s not you, Zane. I’m just having a very hard time.”
“I could help you.”
“What can you do?”
“I can be here for you,” he said, taking my hand, “if you let me.”
I tried to smile. I owed him that. “Thank you. I’ll try…”
He nodded. “Listen, I promised Kassia I’d take care of you. I fully intend to keep that promise. Not just because I made it, but also because I really like you.”
I remembered when I overheard her asking him to take care of me. She was the kind of person who would worry about something like that. I had been so mad at her, but when she climbed over the seat and hugged me, my anger quickly disappeared. I never could be mad at her for long.
Just then, Daxton approached us and plopped down at the table. It was the first time I had seen him since we got back. The normally happy guy I had come to know looked pale and sickly. “He hasn’t been eating either,” Auralee said, shoving plates of food at us. “Now, both of you listen up. You need to eat. She wouldn’t want to know you weren’t taking care of yourselves. She would want you to be healthy and happy. Noe and I aren’t going to put up with this behavior anymore.”
Daxton and I glared at Auralee for a minute. “Fine,” I said, before Daxton gave in. “I’ll eat.” I grabbed an apple off the plate and bit into it.
Daxton took some toast and dramatically shoved it into his mouth. Noe spoke softly, “I talked to Eaton again. The new school training classes start today. Nobody knows about them yet. They’re calling everyone out to the fields at two o’clock.”
That raised some eyebrows. “Interesting. Any ideas what will be included?”
“Physical and weapon training were mentioned, but I don’t know the specifics,” she said.
Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed the girl that Kassia didn’t like, Arian, was staring at us. More specifically, she was staring at Daxton. I watched as she stood up and walked over. I’d be damned if I was going to let her get her claws into Daxton. He wants to move on…fine, but not with her.
Suddenly, Auralee stood up and faced her. “Not going to happen, Sweetheart. Turn around and walk away.”
Arian stopped in her tracks, her eyes wide. She spun around and went back to where she came from. I almost laughed. “I thought I was the compeller.” I said to Auralee.
She did laugh. “I didn’t like what was in her head.”
Daxton just stared at us. “I don’t want to be with her.”
“Good. We’re here to make sure that doesn’t happen.”
He nodded. “Whatever.”
* * *
I survived the looks and whispers in my morning classes. Nobody actually spoke to me, which I suppose was better. I didn’t know what to say to anyone. After lunch, we went to our other classes and sure enough, everyone was dismissed to the fields at two o’clock.
I stood with Noe, Auralee, Daxton, and Zane. Noe’s floral skirt was blowing in the wind. She had her arm around Auralee, and was whispering something in her ear.
Mr. Eaton had a microphone, and he spoke to the entire student body about the new classes and training that will be given at the institute. He made no mention of Kassia or what had happened. “Many of you have lived sheltered lives, especially those of you who have been here for years. I know you all have learned about demons in class. We believe they are growing in numbers and will be released to destroy the world sometime in the not too distant future.” Murmurs flew through the audience.
“I know it sounds insane, but these warnings come from trusted sources. All of you possess some sort of gift, but just knowing what that gift is doesn’t teach you how to use it against demons. Some gifts can’t be used against someone or something. All of you need to start physical and weapons training. Once you demonstrate you can handle yourself physically and emotionally, you will be able to carry your weapon on your body.”
The whispering died down a little. Mr. Eaton continued on, “Today, we begin this training. Your days will be longer. You will start with the normal classes, go to your gifted classes, and then have physical and weapons training. On weekends, you will focus on the weapons and physical training only. We hope to have you in shape within a month.”
The audience was stunned into silence. “I expect each of you to put 100% into this. We have to unite, be one, and conquer these demons!”
I wondered if anyone here besides the five of us had ever even seen a demon, let alone fight one. I shuddered, remembering the ones that looked like cats but acted like dogs and the lit
tle ones that had dug their teeth into Kassia’s back. Too weird for me. I did not relish the idea of coming face to face with one again.
Our training started off with running, sit-ups, and push-ups. Then we started learning more advanced martial arts techniques. After an hour of that, we were divided into small groups. Our group got to learn about knives and daggers. The teacher showed us the proper way to hold and sharpen one. We didn’t get to do anything with them, safety and maintenance first. Wonder how surprised he’d be if I took out my dagger and started playing with it. The one strapped to my leg was much nicer than the ones we were training with.
After weapons, we had more physical training to do. This time it was cardio boxing and lifting weights. By six o’clock, I was exhausted. Four hours of training was tough, but I knew first hand that I needed this training. At dinnertime, I was starving and practically inhaled my food.
I crashed on my own bed that night and slept for nine hours. Banging woke me up. “Everybody up early. Class starts earlier from now on!” It sounded like Ms. Meadows was letting everybody know what was going on.
My body protested as I got out of bed. Slowly and painfully, I made my way to the door, answered it, and thanked her. Glancing out the window, I saw the sky beginning to change from dark to light. Swearing under my breath, I downed some Ibuprofen and made my way to the shower. This was way too early to be awake.
The days started to blur together. Breakfast, class, lunch, class, training, dinner, bed. Instead of relaxing and hanging out when the weekend arrived, we were met with a dawn wake-up call and all day training.
Other than being exhausted and covered with bruises, I didn’t mind the physical demands; it helped me get my anger out.
On Sunday afternoon, they started teaching us how to throw the knives. “More thrust behind your throw,” the teacher told me. I nodded and visualized the demon that took Kassia. I aimed and threw the knife like I could actually save her. It stuck straight in the middle of my target. “Great work! Do it again.” I went and got the knife and hit the target right on again. “Excellent. Keep going… Now do it ten times!” He challenged.
All the training kept my mind occupied. I wasn’t able to think of losing Kassia as often. It still hit me every time I went back to our room. I still broke down every night. But, the days kept me busy. After knives, we learned how to use a bow and arrow. Martial arts moves got easier as I learned them and the physical training got more demanding.
Every two weeks, we’d get a day of rest. Those days I slept in longer, ate slower, and thought of Kassia more. Those days were harder; sometimes I wished they wouldn’t bother with them. But, it also gave us time to hang out with each other. At night, they’d have a movie playing, and I’d lie in Zane’s lap watching it. He’d stroke with my hair or rub my back.
It was amazing how easy it was to forget that Kassia wasn’t with us. I’d turn to say something to her, only to realize that she wasn’t there. Then the sadness and anger would hit all over again, and I’d break down in tears without warning.
“Why are you crying?” Noe asked, sitting next to me at lunch.
Holding my head in my hands, I softly responded, “I just realized I can’t hear her laugh anymore.”
“Oh…Honey…” She wrapped her arms around me and rocked me side to side.
The next week, our training included team exercises. We broke into smaller groups and the teachers showed us how to work together and protect each other. First, we learned using martial arts. Then we learned using weapons. Every day, we’d get a demonstration from the teachers and coaches. Their moves were quite impressive. I hoped I’d be that good someday. Maybe if I had been that good, Kassia wouldn’t be gone. At the very least, if I had known how to fight like I do now, I could have saved myself from those two men that night, and Kassia wouldn’t have had to rescue me. So many ‘what ifs’.
One night when I couldn’t sleep, I got out of bed, and sat on the window seat she used to sit in all the time. Across the courtyard was the boys’ dorm. I saw Daxton staring out the window of his room. He noticed me, but he didn’t wave or anything. We just sat in the windows of our rooms, missing the person we loved most.
Chapter Sixteen
Kassia
Vala’s idea of walking for a couple of days ended up being more like a week. We stopped only to eat a few times a day and slept for six hours a night. Never more. Some days we walked through rain and once even snow. Thankfully, most days the weather was okay. She wasn’t the best companion either. She didn’t talk much, which left me feeling alone most of the time. Every now and then, she’d be encouraging or promise we were almost there.
“Why couldn’t we drive?” I asked for the hundredth time.
“Endurance,” she answered again. “We’ve got to get you strong.”
The problem with all the walking and quiet time was that I couldn’t stop thinking about my friends. What they were doing? How they were feeling? I hoped they were taking care of themselves. I hoped they weren’t too upset. A part of me wanted them to mourn for me. I wondered if that was wrong somehow.
By the fifth night, my feet burned with blisters. My body screamed in pain, and my fingers were numb. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could take this. I needed a full night’s rest and a shower. This wasn’t cutting it. I tried to keep most of my complaints in my head — although I’m sure Vala could hear them. I kept telling myself that it had to be this way for me to get my life back.
“Vala?”
“Yes?”
“Can’t Noe see me?”
“I can’t be positive, but I don’t think so. She thinks you’re dead, so she’s not ‘looking’ for you. Kern hasn’t decided when and where to attack. When he does, maybe she’ll see something then,” she said, offering her opinions.
I nodded my head even though she couldn’t see me. It made sense, I guess. “When Kern decides, will we know?”
“Yes.” She sounded very sure of herself. “We’re almost there.”
“Really?” I raised my voice excitedly. I picked up the pace so I could keep up with her.
Ten minutes later, a house appeared in the distance. As we approached, a tall man with long, dark hair walked out to meet us. He embraced Vala and then turned to me. “Kassia, nice to see you again.”
“Uh…again?” I was confused.
“You were very little the first time we met.”
“Oh, okay.”
“My name is Ramsey Baatar.” He stuck out his hand and I shook it tentatively. Closer up, he seemed even taller. He had a beard and wild looking, green eyes. “Welcome to my home. I know you will be staying for a while, so let me show you around,” he said, quite friendly.
I glanced over at Vala and she nodded. All three of us walked inside. It was a cozy house with a nice country kitchen and an inviting living room. Upstairs there were three bedrooms and a bathroom. “You can sleep in here,” Ramsey said, showing me into one room. It was a good-sized room, with a comfortable looking bed in the middle — it must have been at least a queen. The comforter was one of those big, white, down ones that you could snuggle up in and be warm instantly. There was a desk and bookshelves full of books.
“It’s very nice, thank you.”
“Why don’t you rest and get cleaned up. Then you can come down and eat. We’ll talk then.”
“Sounds good.” After they walked away, I closed the door and sank into the bed. I was asleep within minutes. When I woke, it was darker, probably late afternoon. I went to the bathroom and took a shower. The first one I had since leaving the cave. I turned the temperature up and the hot water poured over my aching body. I didn’t want to get out, but I knew they were probably waiting on me. I didn’t think either of them pampered themselves with long, hot showers — at least not often.
There was a clean outfit sitting on the counter. It was just a pair of jeans and a t-shirt, but I’d take it. I got dressed, brushed my hair and teeth, and went downstairs. I found Vala and Ra
msey sitting at the kitchen table sipping out of mugs. “You look refreshed,” Vala noticed.
“I feel better. Thank you.”
“Please sit.” Ramsey gestured. “Would you like some tea? Dinner will be ready soon.”
“No, thanks,” I declined politely.
He nodded. “Very well. I guess we should get down to business.” He took a sip of his drink, keeping his eyes on me the whole time. “I have known this was coming for a long time. This war has been brewing since the beginning of time. You, Kassia, are believed to be a special entity. Vala told me she explained to you about the existence of angel blood in your body.”
“Yes.”
“That will help keep you alive in the future just as it did last time. That’s not the only difference that makes you special. Your gift is special too. It revealed itself earlier than most do—”
“It did?” I interrupted, wondering why this was the first I had heard of it.
“Yes, you were very young. Your parents were worried because it’s such a heavy gift, and you didn’t understand it. Being a mind-blower is an amazing talent. There is so much you can do with it.” His eyes lit up. “I can’t wait to teach you.”
I wasn’t sure if I should be excited or scared. Vala patted my hand. “It’s fine, child. We’re both here to help you. We want to help you get your gift to the level it needs to be at for a battle.”
“Okay,” I said, ignoring — for now — the fact that this man knew my parents. I’d have to learn more about that later. “How do we do that?”
“It will be a lot of work. We will have to teach you how to control your gift. We’ll also be working on physical workouts and weapons training.” He turned to Vala. “How is her focus?”
“Depends on her mood,” she answered like I wasn’t sitting there. “She misses her friends terribly, and she was in love.”
“I am in love,” I corrected her.
“Ahhh…I knew I felt something else in her,” he said to Vala and then turned back to me. “From what I hear, your friends protected you until the end, and now you’re protecting them.”
“Something like that,” I muttered, casting my eyes down to the floor.