Every spring when the tribe returns to the village we celebrate that we have survived the winter, mourn those who were lost, and pray to the gods and spirits for a bountiful season. There is usually lots of dancing, drinking of arctic wine, and eating the last of the meat stores. By the time evening rolls around, I have already resigned myself to not enjoying the celebration.
There is also lots of gossip, which Tala always finds herself in the middle of. I do not think she actually fuels the fires with new news, but she certainly listens well enough. If there is one thing I can count on her to do, it is to learn everything about members of the tribe and to tell me what she hears. I am not usually one to gossip (my family being one of the most private Houses in the tribe), but I do catch myself enjoying the tales and woes of others.
Tonight is unusual, however. Tala sits at my side but she may as well be in another tribe.
“Huh?” she asks turning her head toward me.
“I asked what has gotten you so distracted.”
Her eyes dart toward the warriors – to one in particular – and then back at me. “Nothing. I am perfectly fine.”
I sigh and smile at her. “So where is he?”
Together we scan the line of warriors sitting at the table facing the dancers, though they are probably discussing the Great Hunt – which nearly all of them will go on. My eyes fall on Merick who is talking to Tarok.
“How long has it been now?” I ask.
She sighs. “I do not know… a few summers maybe.”
I balk. “A few summers? Please, Tala. I know you liked him before I left. You should go talk to him.”
She shakes her head. “No, and you cannot say anything to him or Tarok! You have to promise me, Akari.”
“I promise I will not tell either of them, Tala. You are my best friend and I would sooner die of old age than tell Merick you like him.”
Tala smiles weakly and then looks back at Merick wistfully.
“You should go out and dance. You dance so beautifully it is bound to grab his attention.”
“Will you be okay though? Sitting here all by your lonesome?”
I give her a gentle push toward the dancers. “Of course. Now go!”
Tala gives me a quick smile before going to dance around the central fire in the ring of dancers. I watch her move to the drum beats and soon see Merick’s attention is drawn to her. I smile and pray to the spirits that they will give him the courage to dance with her.
“Mind if I sit with you?” a familiar voice asks.
I look up at Tarok and nod my head.
He clears his throat as he sits. “How is your foot?”
We both glance down at my covered foot resting on the ground. “Better, thank you.”
Uncomfortable silence seems to drag on for an eternity.
“What brings you here?” I ask him bluntly.
“I just thought I would check on you is all.”
“Listen, I am sorry for… uh… fainting on you. And for splashing you, it probably was not in the best taste.”
He glances at me and opens his mouth to speak. Before he can, Namira saunters up to interrupt him.
“Hello Tarok,” she says sweetly. She chooses to ignore me sitting next to the warrior which does not bother me. I do not like Namira and the feeling is mutual.
He grunts a hello with his reserve set on so strongly that even his eyes are guarded.
“I have not seen you around a lot the last quarter cycle. Have you been busy?” she asks moving her body to block his view of the dancing. From the corner of my eye, I see him finally look up at her.
“Yes, Namira. Chiefs are always busy when the tribe is moving.”
“You are not Chief yet,” I add for him. I smile innocently when he glares at me.
Namira, still choosing to ignore my existence, trudges onward. “I was wondering if you would like to dance.”
He shakes his head. “I am a little busy at the moment, Namira. I am sure a lot of other suitable men are not though. Why do you not go ask one of them?”
Now Namira is forced to acknowledge me. She glances down at my injured foot. “Chief duties?” she asks.
Tarok nods. “Something like that.”
Namira huffs quietly. “All right. I will talk to you later, then.”
“Okay.”
Namira turns to walk off but not before purposely tripping over my outstretched foot. I had not moved my foot since she looked at it. She snaps her head back to glare at me with a self-satisfied glint in her eyes. It quickly vanishes when Tarok rests his hand on my shoulder and asks if I am okay.
Seeing this, Namira lashes out with vengeance. “You did that on purpose!” she accuses.
“What?” I protest through the pain shooting along my nerve endings. “You saw where my foot was the entire time!”
“I do not pay attention to where your feet are, Akari. Maybe you should start doing the same.”
“You should leave, Namira,” Tarok says in his Chief voice.
With a final glare in my direction, this time accompanied only with malice, Namira storms off.
“I am sorry about her,” Tarok says gently. “Are you all right?”
I wave him off. “I am fine.” I take a few deep breaths to try and prevent the sharpness from invading my chest.
“You are not fine.” He hooks one arm around my back and the other beneath my knees.
“No! I am, really! Put me down!” I swat at his back to no avail.
“Stop your fussing, I am only taking you home.” He starts walking toward Sharp Stone House and I am stuck allowing him.
I level my gaze on his face. “You know, people are going to start talking.”
“About what? I am just performing my Chiefly duties to the injured member of my tribe.”
“You keep forgetting that you are not the Chief.”
He looks down at me and stops walking. “Which you love pointing out. I am not about to go forgetting it. And if we were being really honest, you are not really the Wise Woman either.”
“Excuse me?” I do my best to cross my arms and give him the best angry look I can muster.
“Wise Women are often wise. You, Akari, are not.” A smile settles on his face to let me know he is teasing. I like this smile. The one that is only meant for me. The one that has always sent butterflies raging around in my stomach.
He sets me down on the platform and sits beside me. He grabs the spark rocks just outside the hut and lights the candle sitting beside the door. I cannot think of what to say. I can only think of the painful awareness of how close his hand is to mine. I am so aware the closeness that I know if I move my smallest finger but an inch I will be able to hook it with his.
So I distract myself with the thought that has been plaguing me as of late. “Have you been avoiding me?”
“Maybe a little.”
I had hoped he would be saying that he has not, that he has just been busy. He would laugh with a reassuring smile and say ‘Chief duties’. That is what I want him to say. Because that would be easier to accept than the answer I know he is going to give. “Why?”
“Like you said, people will start talking. I cannot exactly be friends with a woman without the tribe thinking I mean to make her my bond-mate.”
Friends… the word digs deeply into my heart, burrowing into the darkest crevices where it can fester like a disease ridden wound. He only wants to be friends… my shoulders begin to slump of their own volition. I may not have the reserve of a warrior, but I have learned a thing or two about keeping my emotions hidden away. Keeping myself straight backed and unwavering, I say, “Well, then I guess you will have to settle for befriending the Wise Woman as the Chief.”
“You know I am not the Chief.”
“I am still training to be the Wise Woman.”
“Then that will have to do.”
“You had better get back to the celebration. Namira is probably dying that you are not there to dance with her.”
He slides off the
platform, dropping the two feet to the ground nimbly. “You are so cruel, Wise Woman.” He winks at me. My heart flutters against my will.
“And you are too easy to goad.” I push him with my good foot. “Go on, get out of here.” Please do not leave, is what I am really saying. He gives me a small smile and his feet carry him away from me.
Out of view, I slump. Friends. He only wants to be friends. I sigh heavily. I can be friends with him. I mean, it is better than the nothing I was to him before.
I move into my hut, onto my sleeping platform, and fall asleep.