Kate is dumbfounded—and then very, very afraid. “That’s not me! It couldn’t be…” she says, stunned and confused.
“I also saw you leaving the tire shop, Katrina. If I didn’t know any better, I’d say you were trying to sabotage the mission.”
When Kate looks back at him, he has a gun in his hand.
“But I know that isn’t the case. Otherwise, you would have killed the only person left who has the code for the weapon, yourself.”
For a moment, she wishes she was wearing Haddad’s vest, before realizing that when he does shoot her, it will be in the head. The two in the chest won’t matter.
“Stani, you’re wrong. I can’t explain it, but it isn’t the truth. You have to believe me,” she says in a calm, even voice.
“Then prove it to me. Enter your code into the weapon. Then I will believe you, and your commitment to the mission,” he replies.
“You know I can’t do that. It’s against orders.”
“So is killing your comrades. Enter the code, Katrina,” he says angrily.
“Your leg is poisoning you. Let me help you—”
“Do it now, or I will shoot the American.”
When he hears the word Amerikanski, Haddad looks up. He can’t understand Russian, be he has a pretty good idea about what’s going on. “Don’t do it, lady, whatever it is he wants you to do.”
Stani hurls the bottle at him. “Shut up!” He turns his attention back to her. “Do it…now!” he orders, underlining his point by cocking the gun.
She can no longer pretend to be what she no longer is. Kate can sacrifice herself for the greater good, but she cannot make that choice for another. She opens the case on the table and dials in the code.
“Now, step away, Katrina. Eddy was right about you all along,” he tells her as she retreats. He closes the case, lifts it off the table and begins to back his way out to the door. “You got lost in the lie you’ve been living in, forgotten who you are. Obviously we expected too much of you. Such a shame. Thankfully, it isn’t a critical mistake, and one easily—”
With a loud, wet thud, Stani’s forehead explodes, spraying blood, bone and brains all over the room. His body continues to stand there mawkishly and then collapses forward to the floor.
From out of the darkness a blond-haired woman appears, holding a gun. “Don’t shoot, Katrina, I’m one of you.” Elayna says in a cautious tone, hands raised slightly while stepping over Stani. “I’m one of you,” she repeats in Russian.
“Now what?” Kate asks herself. Quick as lightning, Kate has her gun trained right on Elayna’s head.
“Who are you?” Kate asks incredulously.
“Lieutenant Colonel Elayna Boradin. Second Directorate. I’m your new boss,” she says, extending her hand, but not putting away her gun.
Kate doesn’t flinch.
“I can’t begin to say what an honor it is to finally meet you, Lieutenant Primorski,” Elayna tells her. “We have much to discuss, but right now we’ve got to get out of here while we still can.”
“You just killed my team leader—”
“Who was about to kill you,” Elayna says mater-of-factly. She doesn’t press, letting it sink in.
“And you killed the others. Let me guess. I’m next,” Kate growls, pulling back the hammer.
“No. If I wanted you dead, I had plenty of opportunity to do so.”
“But you didn’t stop the man who came to my house, did you?”
“He was FSB. They want both of us dead. I just didn’t get there in time. I’m sorry,” she says, reaching into her jacket.
“Don’t move!”
“I have something for you. I saved it from your house,” Elayna says.
“Slowly…” Kate warns.
Elayna pull out a photograph. It is an image of Kate, Robbie and Tom, taken from a frame on a table in her front hallway. Gently, she places it on the table between them. “My orders are to bring you, and your boys, home.”
A pang of emotion hits Kate. The picture is only about two years old, but the difference in the boys is significant. “They’re so young...”
“First, we have to get you and the bombs out of here. We can’t let the Americans get a hold of them, or you.”
“Could this be the way out I’ve been hoping for?” Kate wants to believe her, that there can be a happy ending after all. “The only way to know is to find out,” she tells herself. Kate lowers the gun.
“I can’t say that I blame you not trusting anyone, but soon all your hard work and sacrifice will pay off. Right now we’ve got to get moving,” Elayna warns, handing Kate a rag to remove the splatter of Stani’s blood from her face. Then she sees Haddad for the first time. “I didn’t know you had company,” she says in English with a hint of disgust.
“You two should do yourselves a favor and call it a day. Just let me go. It will be easier on everyone,” Haddad manages.
“Well, aren’t you considerate,” Elayna remarks sarcastically. “I would just worry about yourself,” she adds, pulling her gun back out.
“Stop! What are you doing?” Kate shouts, moving between her and Haddad.
“Putting him out of his misery.”
“No, leave him,” Kate says evenly, making it clear that she’ll stand her ground.
After an uneasy pause Elayna gives in. “As you wish. Perhaps a little goodwill might pay off.”
They pack up the cases and move them out to the RV by way of a freight elevator, storing the suitcases in the luggage compartment. They return for the few remaining bags of things Kate says they should take. Before leaving, she opens a medical kit and takes out a few cold compresses and kneels next to Haddad. “Here, use these,” she says while placing them in his free hand. “I’m sorry about this.”
“Thanks, but I’m warning you, if you run now, it’s suicide. They’ll kill you for those bombs. Come in with me. I can protect you,” he says in a low voice so Elayna can’t hear.
“Where’s your cell phone?” Kate asks.
He looks down at his jacket. Kate reaches in and finds it.
“When we’re far enough away, I’ll let them know where you are,” Kate says quietly.
“She will kill you,” Haddad warns a final time.
“Next time, Agent Haddad, call for the backup,” she warns right back with a slight smile.
He watches her leave. “Yeah, if there is a next time.
Chapter 4
I-95 South
Kate drives, and so far it’s been a quiet one, just directions. Both have had a rough day and longer night.
“You want to tell me now what the hell is going on,” Kate demands.
“Your activation was fraudulent. You’ve been sold out by a former member of your group,” Elayna says. “The Iranians got you for a mere six million Euros.”
Never in a million years would Kate have believed such a thing, but the claim isn’t that far-fetched.
“When the SVR found out, their solution was to kill all of you, with the blessing of the head of our department himself. He gave them all the information they needed. That’s how I found out about them. He actually asked me to give it to them. He asked me to betray my own people, because they were just doing their job.”
“We needed to be stopped, if the activation was a mistake.”
“Yes, but not like that. You are not fools. You could have been reasoned with.”
That makes Kate laugh. Stani would never have bought it. “Some perhaps, but not all.”
Elayna sighs deeply. “I know. I thought if I could save you…”
Kate shoots her a quizzical look. “Me?
“I know everything about you, Katrina. I may be your biggest fan. You’ve been my inspiration, my hero. You are a legend at the academy, in the service, an icon every girl looks up to. You know what they say, what I said in the darkest days of my training, brutalized by filthy men?” Elayna pauses, not for dramatic e
ffect, but out of reverence.
“Katrina did it, she survived and made them pay. The little ballerina fucked them back!”
Kate hears the pride in Elayna’s voice. “She’s talking about me?”
“You gave me hope no one else could, a light that illuminated my darkness.”
The way Elayna says it chills Kate, but she isn’t talking about Kate Wilson. No, she is talking about Katrina.
“I never knew,” Kate blushes.
“That’s because they didn’t want you to know! That’s why they buried you here, in this pathetic lie of a life, hoping you would fade into memory. You were a threat to them. Yet they were wrong. You never faded from our memory.”
“Our?”
Elayna slides off the seat and moves closer. “There are many of us, Katrina, like you, like me. Women of courage who refuse to give in or to bow down to any man,” Elayna tells her proudly.
She lets that sink in, watching Kate’s face, admiring her natural beauty and how little makeup she needs at her age. Elayna is pleased with how things are going, but she isn’t done yet. She still has a few more buttons to push.
“I’m just glad I was able to get to you in time, especially for the sake of your sons. My boss could have cared less about you or them. It sickened me, especially considering who he is.”
Elayna says nothing more until Kate looks at her for the answer.
“Peter Kurtsin, Katrina…Peter Kurtsin.”
“Bullshit!” Kate snaps.
“I’m sorry. I know he was like a father to you, but I’m afraid it gets worse. The person who sold you out was Sasha.”
Kate sees a flash of him in her mind. Young, handsome and happy. A trapdoor opens beneath her, dropping her to a new level of emotional distress. The anxiety is so intense she shudders.
Elayna genuinely pouts; she doesn’t relish hurting her.
“I’m sorry, Katrina, but as terrible as it may be, I have to tell you this, because it is the truth. Sasha had become a broken-down drunk, with nothing to give the world but pain. He was beyond the capacity of caring about anyone, including himself, including you.”
“Why are you telling me this?” Kate blurts, her heart crumbling.
Elayna leans forward. “Because I know how important the truth is to you and how it has kept you alive, the rigorous honesty your Big Book talks about.”
Elayna’s quotation startles Kate.
“I owe you the truth for what you have done for me,”
Elayna knows she has Kate hooked. Now it’s just a matter of reeling her in.
“We have a common enemy who enslaves us, uses us, and then throws us away like a sack of garbage,” she spits in anger.
“Men?” Kate laughs incredulously. “I have two sons!”
“Yes, I know. Made strong by a strong mother. Do you think they would do to a woman what has been done to you, or me? Abandoned, betrayed? No, that is not what you have taught them, is it?”
It is the truth. Kate begins to wonder just what she locked away with her alter ego Katrina. Now it’s as if the attic door has been left open, but Katrina is in no rush to escape, know she doesn’t have to. Katrina is not bad. There just wasn’t a place for her in the world where she had to live.
They regard each other. Kate sees in Elayna what she had been fifteen years ago. In Kate, Elayna sees a kindred spirit, a mentor, with much to give. They could be good friends and more, Elayna hopes, in time. Looking at her in the soft morning light, Elayna realizes that the photos don’t do her justice; they don’t capture the spark in her eyes.
“What do you want, Elayna?”
“Freedom and revenge for both of us. It starts with Petre Kurtsin. He put us here. He ordered our deaths. He allowed his fucking son to betray you, Katrina.”
Kate hasn’t heard another speak his name in a long time, and it comes with a tinge of dread. “He spared my life after—” Kate starts, but Elayna cuts her off.
“After you killed the men who raped you? Did you ever wonder why Sasha wasn’t there to help you?”
Kate freezes at the question. “Oh, my God.”
“That’s when your drinking really took off, wasn’t it? That’s when you crossed the line, because you had to. You had to drown that one single fact, that truth that you just couldn’t live with.”
After all this time, she remembers. Elayna can see it in her face; she doesn’t have to explain.
“Sasha liked his little plaything, even when the other boys were playing with her, and so did Daddy.”
“No, you’re full of shit,” Kate says, venomously challenging her.
“It’s in Kurtsin’s diary. I’m his protégé, his new plaything. I have access to everything, but you know it’s true, don’t you.”
Kate looks out the window, beyond angry, hurt, and trying to hold back the tears with a sarcastic laugh. “Par for the course,” she says, attempting to minimize the staggering blow. She had buried the nagging question so far down, but it is such an important part of her history, her being.
“The worst lies I ever told were the lies I told myself” The lie of omission, but now she has to face it, forced to face the mirror, just as she had done with Sheila.
“Katrina, you can stop now, you no longer have to pretend. You are free to do what you want. Now it’s time to get even with those who enslaved you, a little payback as they say. We can do it together.”
Elayna slowly stands and takes her bag from the floor. Resting it on the seat, she begins to open it.
Abruptly she turns back to Kate. “It’s the only way you will get back your sons.”
That snaps Kate attention away from the self-pity. With narrowed eyes she glares at Elayna. “Don’t fuck with me,”
“I’m not.” Elayna pulls out her laptop. “In here is the entire Buran file, complete with the profiles and activation keys to every Spetsnaz group in the U.S. They will give you whatever we want for this, including Tom and Robbie.”
Kate eyes her carefully. “You would do that for me?”
“Yes, but you must help me.” Elayna nods as if prompting her to agree. Kate’s
gaze shifts from the computer to Elayna. “How?”
“If one of those little bombs of yours doesn’t go off, Kurtsin will never be held accountable for his sins. Finish the job, and when we get out, we make the trade.”
Elayna watches her carefully. The lights from the highway pan in rhythm across her face. Kate stares straight ahead, looking beyond the road and into the future. “It will kill too many. The Americans will retaliate.”
“They’ll blame it on Iran, or terrorists. It’s a small device, but big enough. The whole world must know, so it never forgets, and who knows? Maybe it will convince them to get rid of the horrible things once and for all.”
Elayna sees the hesitation in her eyes.
“Katrina, sometimes it takes a terrible tragedy, to prevent a greater one.”
Kate see these reasoning, no matter how wrong it may be.
“Do we have a deal, or are you afraid?”
Kate laughs, “You have no idea what frightens me!”
“Perhaps you are right.” Elayna places the laptop back in her bag to get something else. “But I think you might be surprised.”
Kate looks on as Elayna pulls another trick out of her bag.
Elayna smiles smugly, watching the color drain from Kate’s face. Gently, she places the fifth of vodka and two little cups on the consol between them.
“I think this calls for a toast!” Elayna says cheerily.
At first Kate’s eyes can’t look away from the shimmering liquid. When Elayna sees the mix of repulsion and desire, loathing and love, she tries not to grin.
“What’s wrong, Katrina?” Elayna asks with false concern.
“You know I can’t,” Kate meekly replies.
“Oh come now. I hate to drink alone,” she says, filling the two cups halfway.
“Why are you doing thi
s?” Kate wants to be angry, but instead is surprised to feel the onset of relief.
Elayna places the glass in the cup holder, “We have to face our fears, Katrina. I know this is yours. This will set you free.”
Kate looks at the glass.
“This is your true self, whom God intended you to be.”
Kate looks at her, pleading.
“It is God’s will, Katrina.”
The very things she’s used to stay sober are the things that now have turned against her.
“It fits you so well,” Katrina reminds her.
“I know you’ve fought long and hard, but it’s not up to you. God has taken that weight from you now.”
“I can’t.”
“You must, because I too have a plan to follow. You don’t have to die for a drink, but if that’s God’s design, so be it.”
Elayna slowly thumbs the hammer back of her gun until it clicks, unseen under the table, but the message is clear.
“I don’t need Kate Wilson, I need Katrina Primorski, the real you, free from fear, free to be herself.”
“Is this what you want?” she silently asks herself.
“Maybe I need to phrase this another way. If you can’t do it for yourself, do it for Tom and Robbie, so they can stay safe and sound, with the Washingtons.”
The seeds of doubt begin to flower, growing from the fertile ground of her shattered being.
“I’m sorry I have to say this, but if that bomb doesn’t go off within the next twelve hours, they will be in grave danger.”
The power greater than herself, who helped her overcome the desire written into every one of her trillion of cells, seems to have forsaken her.
“I’m going to do this with or without you, Katrina, but I did not save you to die like this.”
God hears all prayers. Every day, loving parents will pray for their dying children. Some pleas will be answered and some will not, for reasons we will never understand. So many years ago, Kate in her desperation also prayed, and in His infinite wisdom, God reached out across his vast creation and gave it to her, a broken-down, suicidal, hopeless drunk. Kate never knew why, until now.
In her mind, in her conscience, she hears a single word in reminder.
“Hope.”
Elayna raises her glass. “Nastrovia, Katrina,”
“Let go Kate, let go.”
Kate picks up the glass and gently touches Elayna’s.
“Nastrovia,” Kate says quietly.
She holds her breath and downs it while Elayna watches, and then she too drinks.