“No, email won’t do. I checked with Mike and you have to appoint someone to vote in your stead.”

  “Then I’ll have someone vote in my stead. I’ll tell Mike.”

  Morris frowned. “Eric, I emailed you some further information on the drug. I put in a request for those other studies you wanted. I never heard back from you. Did you get the information?”

  “It probably came in but I’m behind on my email.”

  “I can also put you in touch with one of the reps, Clark Yoshida. He’s very knowledgeable and he can answer any questions you may have. I know you’re busy right now, but he’ll work around your schedule. You can even discuss it over dinner.”

  “Thanks, but no.” Eric tried not to laugh. Most doctors did everything they could to avoid drug reps, and Morris was sending him on a blind date with one.

  “Eric, I wish you would keep an open mind.”

  “If you’re asking me if I’m changing my vote, I’m not. We can agree to disagree.” Eric wanted to go. “It isn’t the first time, and it won’t be the last. I’m the loyal opposition.”

  Morris frowned. “I hope you reconsider after you’ve read the email.”

  “Thank you, but I have to go. See you soon.” Eric took off, going the wrong way through the crowds, acknowledging the shouted approval and expressions of support, and trying to ignore the narrowed eyes and tight lips of those who didn’t. He found it difficult to believe that people would actually think him a murderer, but it wasn’t out of the question. The newspapers were full of similar stories, every day, and he knew that the face someone showed the world could be at odds with the psyche.

  He got on the elevator as everyone got off, and hit the up button, heading for his unit. He realized he did it reflexively, as he had every day for the past fifteen years, and he knew he probably couldn’t be here in an official capacity, with the indefinite suspension. Still, he thought he’d check on his patients informally, see if there was anything he needed from his office, then stop down and see Laurie.

  Eric got off the elevator on Wright as staff piled on, reacting to his appearance, and he smiled and acknowledged their comments, then went down the short hallway to the unit. He realized he didn’t have his employee lanyard to swipe himself in, so he knocked at the door, waited, then knocked again. He couldn’t see anybody through the glass in the airlock, so he picked up the intercom phone on the wall.

  “Anybody home? It’s Eric, and I don’t have my swipe card. Can you let me in?”

  “Dr. Parrish, it’s Tina. I’ll let you in. Hold on a second, I’m in the dining room.”

  “Thanks. I’ll wait.” Eric hung up, feeling a comfort being back on the unit, its schedule fixed and familiar. Tina would be supervising the patients at dinner, the shift was over, and most of the day nurses had gone home except for Amaka, who always stayed late. Sam, David, and Jack would be getting ready to go home. Eric wondered how the patients were doing, and, in particular, if Perino was improving. It was too bad that his wife had decided to go public with her complaint, but if this experience was teaching Eric anything, it was to let go of what he couldn’t control. He probably should’ve learned that lesson already, but better late than never.

  “Dr. Parrish?” said a voice behind him, and Eric turned to see two smiling security guards in blue uniforms approaching him from the elevator.

  “Yes?”

  “You were awesome last night at the mall, Doc. My daughter works in the Lady Footlocker, and the cops evacuated her. She was scared out of her mind.”

  “I’m sorry to hear that.”

  “It’s good that it ended peacefully, thanks to you. Anyway, we got a call to check on you.”

  “Check on me? I’m fine, thanks.”

  “No, it’s not that way.” The security guard hesitated, shifting his feet. “You’re not permitted on the premises while you’re on suspension.”

  “Oh, please.”

  “Sorry, sir.”

  “But I want to check on my patients and get some things out of my office.”

  “They told us you can clean out your desk, but we have to escort you and wait with you while you do that. No suspended employee can be on the premises unescorted while they’re on suspension. That’s a procedure for all employees, including physicians.”

  “I can’t bring you into the unit. It upsets the patients and they’ve had enough of that already this week. Can’t you wait here while I go in and talk to my people?”

  “No, sorry, no can do.”

  “Hold on a second.” Eric picked up the wall phone and punched in Mike’s extension.

  “Legal Department,” Dee Dee answered.

  “Dee, this is Eric Parrish. Is he in?”

  “Sure, Eric, hang on.” Dee Dee put him on hold, and in the next moment, there was a click on the line.

  “Eric, this is Mike. Jeez, I can’t believe what you did last night in King of Prussia! I hope that kid knows he owes you his life. Now I understand what was going on yesterday, when the cops—”

  “Thanks, but I’m outside my unit now, trying to get into my own office.”

  “I know, I heard. I would’ve come up to see you myself, but I’m in the middle of something.”

  “Mike, I need to check on my patients and talk to my staff.”

  “Sorry, it’s not procedure. I know this seems formal, but it’s out of my hands. Employees on suspension aren’t permitted on the campus. I could cite you chapter and verse in the employee manual, if you wait a minute.”

  “It’s a matter of patient care, Mike. I just want to know how they’re doing.”

  “You’re not supposed to be performing any of your duties as Chief. If you want to take belongings from your office, the guards will wait for you to finish and escort you out.”

  “Mike, I can’t have guards all over my unit again.”

  “I’m sorry, but there’s nothing I—”

  Eric hung up in disgust, turning to see Amaka, Sam, David, and Jack, piling into the airlock and unlocking the outside door.

  “Eric!” Amaka came over, gave him a big hug, then let him go, beaming at him. “Thank God you’re okay. What a nightmare that must’ve been. We saw tanks and guns. It looked like a war zone.”

  Sam emerged, shaking Eric’s hand. “Chief, great to see you. You were unreal at the mall. We were at a baseball game and one of the moms had a video live-streaming on her phone. What a scene!”

  David grinned at Eric, his eyes shining. “Chief, I’m proud to know you. I was gaming and I stopped when I saw it online. I gave up the win because of you.”

  Jack leaned over and shook Eric’s hand. “Chief, I’m telling everybody we’re best friends. There’s a really hot nurse in Endocrinology, and I think you just tipped the balance in my favor, if you follow.”

  Amaka gave Jack a playful hit on the arm. “Stop, you.”

  Everybody laughed except for Kristine, who showed up on the unit’s side of the airlock, her only expression an interested smile. Eric ignored her. “Hi, everybody, thanks. I wanted to check on the patients and get some things out of my office, but I can’t come in without security, so I’m not coming in.”

  Amaka frowned at the security guards. “This is insulting! Dr. Parrish is the Chief of the unit. This is his unit.”

  The security guard shook his head. “Sorry, but we have to follow procedure. The only way to admit Dr. Parrish into the unit is if he’s escorted.”

  Eric let it go, because Amaka, Sam, and David looked uniformly upset. Only Jack seemed typically detached. “Troops, let’s not sweat this. There’s nothing in my office that I need, and I’m not going to disrupt the unit.”

  Amaka muttered, “This is ridiculous.”

  “Don’t worry about it.” Eric faced Sam. “Can I call you tonight and talk about Perino and the others?”

  “Happy to do it. What time?”

  “I’ll call you at eight, okay?”

  “Sure.”

  “All right everybody, take car
e.” Eric managed a smile, though he hated to go. “Feel free to call me if anything comes up or if you have a question. I have a new phone number, and I’ll email it to you.”

  “Bye, Chief,” Amaka said, still frowning, and Sam gave his little hippie wave.

  “We’ll talk, Chief.”

  David nodded, somber. “See you later, Chief.”

  Jack flashed him his trademark too-cool-for-school smile. “Take care, Chief.”

  “Will do.” Eric managed a smile back, though something about Jack bugged him, the attending’s superior act wearing thin. Eric motioned the security guards to walk ahead of him down the hallway. “Let’s go, gentlemen. I don’t need you to walk me out of the building but we can share an elevator.”

  “Okay, Dr. Parrish,” said one of the security guards, leading the way to the elevator lobby and pressing the down button.

  Eric waited for the elevator.

  But he’d be damned if he’d be kept out of his own hospital.

  He made a call as soon as he got outside.

  Chapter Fifty-four

  Eric left the hospital by the front entrance, only to walk around the building to the emergency department and enter through its automatic doors. He waved at the nurse in the glass-walled triage station by reception, then slipped past the double doors of the ED entrance when one of the physician’s assistants left, doing a double-take as Eric went past.

  “Dr. Parrish, great job!” the PA called to him.

  “Thanks,” Eric called back, over his shoulder. He entered the ED, and the two nurses looked up from the octagonal station.

  The blond nurse smiled warmly. “Dr. Parrish, you were amazing last night! That was really something, the way you went to that mall.”

  “Thanks.” Eric smiled. “Is Dr. Fortunato in?”

  “She’s in room D, but she’s not finished. She said she’d meet you in her office. I’ll let her know you’re here.”

  “Thanks.” Eric went past the examining rooms and ducked into Laurie’s office, at the end of the hall. He closed the door behind him, glancing around, and the office looked like no place else in the hospital. Lining the walls were framed posters of abstract art from Matisse, Delaunay, Kandinsky, and Marz; the names of the artists were at the bottom of each poster, and though each painting was different, they all shared vibrant and vivid colors, like the Marz, which depicted a bright cobalt-blue horse. Laurie’s framed diplomas had yet to be hung, stuck on a shelf between medical books and hospital manuals, and the top of the shelf was covered with the funky windup toys she collected: mechanical robots, walking cats, elephants with a Babar crown, ducks, and chattering teeth, next to a Magic Eight Ball.

  Eric picked up the Magic Eight Ball and turned it over, and the triangle appeared through the black water, reading, Cannot predict now. Unfortunately, he didn’t know the question.

  “Eric, hey!” Laurie entered the office, closing the door behind her, then came over and gave him a hug. “It’s so good to see you.”

  “Hi.” Eric hugged her back, remembering that before he’d run into the mall, he’d kissed her on the cheek. He couldn’t explain how that happened, so he hoped she didn’t remember and his impulse would be consigned to let’s-pretend-this-didn’t-happen territory.

  “Wait.” Laurie looked Eric up and down, then made a funny face. “Why are you dressed like my brother?”

  Eric smiled. “Because he dressed me.”

  “Creepy, yet it works.”

  “Thanks for hiding me.”

  “Do you believe such idiocy? Please sit down. You’ve been through hell.” Laurie leaned against the side of the desk in her white coat. Her stethoscope was looped around her neck, her dark eyes looked bright and lively, and her curly dark hair was twisted into a topknot with a pencil. She smiled at him. “So you survived jail, and Paul. Which is worse?”

  “I like Paul.” Eric sat back down, smiling. “I bet he had no idea what he was getting into.”

  “Ha!” Laurie chuckled. “That’s what he says about you. It’s quite the bromance. So fill me in.”

  “You don’t have time.”

  “You’re right, and I have marching orders from him anyway. He wants me to talk to you. He thinks you’re going too far out on a limb for Max, and I have to tell you, for once in my life, I actually agree with him. Do you know what a brat he was when he was little? I never, ever, ever thought that would happen.”

  “Why do you agree with him?”

  “Why?” Laurie’s eyes flared. “I saw you run past an armed barricade into that mall. That was insanity! Just because it ended up okay doesn’t mean it was a smart thing to do, or even the right thing to do.”

  “The nurses approve,” Eric said slyly, suddenly in a good mood. Maybe it was the colorful artwork, making him happy.

  “Very funny.” Laurie folded her arms, getting serious. “Eric, let me ask you a question, sincerely. Do you really believe that Max didn’t kill that girl? Think about it. I mean, really think about it.”

  “Well, I just learned about this secret boyfriend that Renée had, named Todd Schuler, and I’m sure the police haven’t even questioned him yet.” Eric had been thinking about it on the way over, and the more he considered it, the more it seems like Todd had been overlooked as a suspect. “I found out that Renée used to walk her dog every morning in the park, at that same time. It was a well-established routine, because she was so crazy about the dog. But I don’t think she was just there walking the dog. I think she used to meet Todd in the mornings, secretly, because her mother didn’t like him. He could’ve killed her one morning and nobody would’ve known. He’s a big guy, too. He could have overpowered her easily.”

  “That’s not the answer to my question. Before you go off on a tangent, I want to bring you back to Max and ask you if you really think he’s innocent.”

  Eric challenged his thinking. He flashed on Max last night at the mall, saying he didn’t remember killing Renée, but seeming resigned to the fact that he had probably done it. “Okay, I’m ambivalent. Maybe he did it, but I can’t imagine him doing it. It’s just not like him.”

  “So that’s how you feel, your intuition?”

  “Yes.”

  “I know that you’re intuitive, and you rely on your emotional intelligence as a clinician. But let’s look at this objectively. Sometimes you have to look at the data.”

  “Do you think he killed her?”

  “Yes.”

  Eric blinked, surprised. “I thought we were on the same page. I had the impression you thought Max was innocent, too.”

  “I did, before last night. But last night changed things for me.” Laurie frowned slightly. “I have to be honest with you, when I saw the trouble he caused, when I saw the fear and even the terror he caused, those kids crying, police mobilizing from everywhere, the EMTs, first responders, guys I know, whose help is needed elsewhere. He caused all that to happen.”

  “So you’re angry at him.”

  “Damn right, I’m angry at him. I deal with emergencies every day and I’ve seen how first responders work all night, picking up the pieces after accidents, rushing children in here, arms off, legs off, even babies in here after car accidents, shootings, stabbings, muggings, accidental poisonings, household accidents, every kind of horrible thing that can happen to human beings ends up in my ED.” Laurie gestured at the door. “Right out there. The lives of innocent people could have been lost last night, it could’ve been a disaster. We drill for bomb threats, and when I heard that Max had a fake bomb, I could’ve killed him myself.”

  “I understand that you’re angry, but that doesn’t make him guilty of murder. I tell you, he was trying to kill himself last night.”

  “Eric, I’m not the shrink, but I think you’re in denial about Max. You’re projecting onto him, seeing yourself in him—or maybe even Hannah. It’s like you’re being protective without knowing the facts.”

  “What facts?”

  “Exactly. You saw Max a total of three
times, including the time you met him on Friday night here, for which I will be forever regretful. Do you really have enough facts on which to base this ambivalence you’re sticking to?” Laurie threw up her expressive hands. “How well do you really know Max? You think you understand him, but would you have predicted that he would do what he did at the mall? Did you see that coming? According to you, that was wildly out of character, but he did it. It’s a fact that he did it.”

  “I admit, I didn’t see that coming. I worried he was suicidal, but this kind of scheme, with the bomb and everything, it doesn’t seem like him.”

  “Hello, wake up, he did it. I saw it.”

  “But still, it’s not like him. It’s almost like he had another influence, as if someone was influencing him.”

  “You sound like a mother who says that her kids fell in with the wrong crowd. Doesn’t that sound like denial to you?”

  “Maybe, but I doubt it.” Eric felt stubborn, but he couldn’t bring himself to believe that Max was completely responsible for the hostage-taking at the mall. He was buying into the police’s theory, that Max was weak and there had to be a Svengali. Eric thought back to Marie, telling him that Eric talked to someone on the phone at night, sometimes they fought. Whoever that person was, maybe he was the Svengali. But Eric couldn’t talk to Marie, not after what Paul had said about the lawyer they’d hired.

  “Eric.” Laurie sighed. “You need to get your head out of your own ass. Take a look at the facts. Begin at the beginning.”

  “I did that. I read through my notes of my sessions with him.”

  “I took notes about Max the night you met him and his grandmother. They’re in her file. Max was Chatty Cathy before you came down and he gave me an earful.”

  “He did?” Eric felt his ears prick up. “Why didn’t you mention this before?”

  “I didn’t think it mattered, and it’s not as if we’ve had a lot of free time to chat.” Laurie snorted. “I don’t know what he told you in his sessions, but I think you need to start over. Begin at the beginning. Look at this kid with new eyes. Objectively.”