“Stay close to me when we exit the building,” Shi ordered as they moved through the men’s clothing department. “And if anyone comes at us-”
“I’ll fight,” she said. “You can bet your life on it.”
He glanced down at her, his green eyes glistening with approval. “Good girl.”
Emotion tightened her chest at the endearment he’d once used often when they’d trained, at the glimpse of the wolf she’d once known, and wasn’t sure still existed. “You just make sure you kill as many of the bastards as you can.”
His lips twitched in that sexy way she knew so well, but he didn’t reply, and their pace never changed. She Peeked at his profile, unable to help herself. He was intimately big, with a hard edge to him to match every inch of him. She cut her gaze and swallowed hard, remembering the random dreams she’d had of him since he’d left, about him with his long hair loose and wild, him on top of her, inside her. He’d haunted her for what felt like a lifetime, and she’d been unable to escape him, but he’d seemed to never look back at her. If they had been mates, he wouldn’t have turned his back on her. Or would he have? He’d killed his first mate. So why was he here now? It sure wasn’t because he wanted her, or because he’d come to proclaim his love, and how he’d never forgotten her. It was something he wanted from her and that realization twisted her in knots.
They approached the doorway to a stairwell, and Shi pulled her inside the entry, his touch scorching her skin as he pressed her against the wall. Their eyes locked and held, and she knew he felt the connection, too. Damn it, why did it exist? Why did she have to feel this need for him when he would only hurt her again?
Abruptly, he turned away and Carmen didn’t waste time dwelling on her desire for the wolf who’d left her. She yanked open her purse and grabbed the silver and gold knife she kept inside. The silver would kill a natural born wolf. The gold a virus infected human turned wolf, their form of rabies. She wrapped her palm around it, ready for confrontation and watched Shi as he removed a small handgun from under his pant leg she knew would also be loaded with silver and gold. He scanned above and below them with cool readiness before he glanced at her knife and then back up at her, and their eyes met, seconds ticking by like minutes. Awareness formed and deepened in his green eyes, and she knew he understood she could have gone for his back, but she hadn’t, nor would she ever. When finally he motioned her forward, making no move to disarm her, she wasted no time rushing down the stairs to the exit.
Shi was beside her in a flash, slowly easing the door open and searching the garage and apparently finding it safe. He grabbed her and pulled her to his side, and with the hard strength of him next to her, and the handle of her blade in her palm, she felt remarkably calm. They made it all of two steps inside the garage when and black Escalade rounded a corner and right at them.
Carmen jerked backwards, fearful of Rebels, only to have Shi hold her steady. “That’s our ride.”
A relieved breath gushed from her lungs as the vehicle pulled to a halt beside them and Shi quickly ushered her inside. Shi followed her in so quickly she had no time to turn to face him. The door shut and he tugged her back against his hard body, warmth pouring through her for an instant, only to find her eyes were covered with some kind of cloth. Carmen reached for the cloth but Shi held it, and her, firmly in the place.
“Sorry sweetheart, but you can’t see where you’re going. It’s for you safety and ours.” His mouth lowered near her ear. “Leave it on willingly or I’ll tie you up.”
Anger filled her at his actions, at the hard jolt of reality they created. He’d come here with an agenda she now had to face. “Why do I think you’d like that?”
“Actually,” he murmured. “I prefer you both, free of restraints and willing, but I somehow doubt that’s how I’ll keep you.”
“Then you must believe I won’t like what comes next,” she said, aware of the sensual heat in his words that were both seductive and somehow hard and unbending.
His lips brushed her ear. “You won’t, Angel, but if it’s any consolation, I’ve decided I won’t either.”
Chapter Four
“But you’re going to do whatever you came to do anyway,” Shi heard Carmen whisper before pulling away from him and he knew he was in trouble when it was all he could do not to pull her back, to explain. He didn’t explain himself, not for the past five years that had changed him, hardened him, but he wanted to now. Yeah. He was in trouble. Big, screwed, deep shit, kind of trouble. And he was on fire, hot for Carmen in the worst of ways, and the fact everything inside him was again screaming mine didn’t help. He’d convinced himself they weren’t mates. The chance of finding two mates in one lifetime was once in a non-existent blue moon, almost unheard of, after all. But then most wolves were off the market after finding their biological mate, he reminded himself.
Carmen turned towards him, crossing her arms in front of her, her skirt rising high on her long, shapely legs and his groin tightened. She was beautiful and she always had been. But she was so much more. She meant something to him. The idea that she, like his previous intended mate, could be aligned with, or even acting with, someone betraying their race, destroyed him. Not Carmen. He couldn’t deal with the loss of the good he’d always believed she represented, and the idea set free something fierce and explosive that rose inside him.
Shi snapped and pulled Carmen to him, pressed her against the seat and framed her body with his. He yanked down the blindfold, wanting to see her eyes, where magic couldn’t disguise the truth. “I don’t have a choice but to do what I came here to do,” he growled low in his throat. “Your father is selling Society secrets to the Rebels.”
She gasped. “No. He wouldn’t do that.” Her hands settled on his chest, scorching him through his t-shirt. “No. You know he wouldn’t do that.”
“He is, Carmen. I have pictures and proof. The only questions I have are why, what’s the end damage and game, and are you helping him?”
She gaped. “Me? You think I’m selling secrets to the Rebels?” She shook her head. “No. You know me, Shi. You know me like no one else but my father does. I wouldn’t do that.” Her fingers curled around his shirt. “You’re an elder wolf. You can smell a lie. You can smell the truth. I’m not betraying The Society or anyone else. You know I’m telling the truth.”
“The Rebels have the Benedanti helping them, Carmen,” he said, talking about the immortal offspring of wolves and a witch from many centuries before, who like them, were split between good and evil. “There is magic that can hide a lie and they use it.” And the idea that it might create a false mating heat, only set him further on edge.
“We have Benedanti helping us, too. Nico’s wife is Benedanti, and only his mate by magic. Surely she can test me.”
“Nico’s mate is about to give birth to their first child or she’d gladly do so. Nico is, however, sending someone to test you, Carmen. Someone very powerful.”
“Good,” she whispered. “Then you have to believe me.”
The words, laced with the pain of his distrust, ripped through him. He didn’t want to hurt Carmen. He didn’t want to believe bad of her. “Don’t you think I want to trust you?”
Her turbulent stare searched his face. “I know you do, Shi. And I know why you can’t. I understand, but it doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt.”
She did know. She was one of the few in his life with knowledge of his past and the betrayal that had ripped him from the folds of The Society who’d been his family, when his own had been long ago killed in war. And deep down he knew her, that she was good and kind, and honest. He’d stayed away to give her a chance at happiness, to keep her from living a life underground, disgraced. But he had to be careful, tread cautiously. There was too much on the line. “Carmen-”
Her fingers went to his lips, soft and gentle in a way he had not been touched in far too long, perhaps since this woman had graced his life. “Don’t,” she whispered. “Don’t let guilt eat you up. You’re
doing what you have to do for the right reasons. I know what they are and I know what you’ve been through. But know this, Shi. When I prove my innocence, and I will, I plan to prove my father’s.”
His heart thundered in his chest at her willingness to fight for someone she loved who wasn’t going to deserve her effort. He knew how alone she really was, how much her father meant to her, how certain her getting hurt was before this was over. And he knew staying away had been right. Making her choose between him and Alexander would never have worked.
He reached up to stroke her cheek. “Carmen-”
She snatched his hand. “Don’t comfort me until you trust me. Then, well, then I might let you, that is, if I decide I trust you.”
He wanted to tell her she could trust him. He wanted to trust her. But life had taught him hard lessons and he couldn’t blindly ignore the real threat to The Society.
“How do I know this Benedanti you plan to have check me out isn’t a Rebel?” she asked. “How do I know the Rebel’s didn’t hire you and this is a trick to extract secrets from The Society?”
Shi took the blow of her questions with a hard stare, but he felt their hard impact. His nostrils flared, seeking the truth beneath her words, and he smelled none of the manipulative intent that could have been present. Instead, he scented her fear that he would really betray her, not the other way around. Damn it to hell, how had they gone from where they’d once been to here?
He yanked his cell phone from his belt and punched a button before putting it to his ear. “It’s Shi,” he said when Kole answered.
“Do you have her?” Kole asked and Shi watched Carmen’s eyes widen with surprise at the voice of the Royal Guard’s leader her exceptional hearing had already identified.
“Yes,” Shi confirmed. “I have her. She wants confirmation I’m not working for the Rebels.”
He was silent a moment. “She’s within hearing distance? Then she already knows what she needs to know. I hired you.”
Carmen reached for the phone and Shi wasn’t inclined to deny her. He let her have it. “My father is not a traitor,” Carmen said vehemently the instant she had it to her mouth. “There’s some explanation for whatever you think you know.”
“Then help us help your father,” Shi heard Kole tell her. “Do what he asks you to do.”
Carmen’s eyes lifted to Shi’s. “Why go outside the Guard?”
Kole was silent several long beats. “I have my reasons. Tell Shi I’ll call him later.” The line went dead.
Carmen handed him back the phone and Shi slid it onto his belt. For a moment, the two of them just stared at one another, and he felt their past collide with their present, their uncertain future as well. He’d never felt so tormented in his life, not even with Susan. Absolutely not with Susan. He’d felt mating heat and obligation with Susan. What he felt for Carmen was so much more. They had history, a relationship. A bond that was powerful enough to never be forgotten, to keep him looking out for her, protecting her from a distance despite her father’s hatred of him. Despite being certain she would feel the same. But she didn’t. He knew that now. She hadn’t judged him or turned her contempt on him when truth be told, he had. He hated himself for letting Susan nearly destroy him.
Suddenly, Shi needed space, he needed to think, he needed to get his body under control before he forgot his duty over a woman again. Not just any woman, he told himself. This is Carmen. Whose father is a traitor. Shi shoved away from Carmen and distanced himself from her, leaning against the door of the truck opposite her, and it was all he could do to keep a stony face, to control his emotions. To appear as if he was casually watching her when he felt like he was going to climb out of his own skin.
She turned to sit against her door, facing him, tugging her dress down before wetting that lush mouth of hers and studying him. Her gaze flickered towards the front of the truck and back to him. “What about my blindfold?”
“The Benedanti can erase your memory. The blindfold was just extra precaution.”
“I see,” she said after a momentary pause, her delicate brows furrowing. “Does that mean you can send me back to The Society without the knowledge of you ever being here?”
“Yes.”
“Is that what you plan to do?”
“I haven’t decided.”
She stared at him a long moment and then laughed without humor. It was the closest thing to bitter he’d ever heard from her, despite all she’d been through. Her gaze cut to the ceiling and she laughed without humor. “At least you’re honest.”
Shi opened his mouth to respond and snapped it shut. He trusted his driver, Jacob, like he trusted no one else he employed, but this was a conversation for behind closed doors. “We’ll talk when we get to our destination.”
“After the Benedanti interrogate me.”
“When we’re alone.”
“Right. When we’re alone having a conversation I might have erased.”
Shi did what he would never do with the group of misfits he employed, who required a strong leader to maintain control. He broke eye contact with Carmen and let his head fall back against the window, his lashes lowering. His gut twisted with the knowledge that no matter how much he wanted to tell her he wouldn’t clean her memory, he couldn’t do that. Hell, he wanted to tell her everything was going to be okay, and make her feel better, but he didn’t have it in him to lie to her when he knew what she didn’t. Once he’d made sure he’d discovered her father’s secrets and done damage control to protect The Society, her father would be sentenced for his crimes. Her father would be charged and punished, and the punishment for a council member betraying his people, was death. In this case a discreet execution that would appear an accident, meant to maintain the integrity of the council.
Shi couldn’t save Alexander even if he wanted to, but his involvement in proving Carmen's father guilty was something she’d never be able to forgive him for, no matter how much she might see the truth of her father’s actions. It was a natural. Alexander was her father and Shi would again be the enemy.
“Shi,” Carmen said softly, drawing his attention, her voice quivering and something in her tone warned him he wasn’t going to like what came next even before she added, “You can erase my memories but you won’t erase the betrayal. Deep down, if you wipe my memories, I’ll still know what you did to me.” She paused, her teeth scraping her bottom lip. “Whatever that might be.”
She turned away from him and faced the front.
Everything was most definitely not going to be okay.
Chapter Five
It was a good thirty minutes of riding later, and Carmen was mentally replaying everything her father had done in the past few months, trying to find something, anything, that stood out as odd, but there was nothing. She still lived inside the ‘Hotel Italy’, close to him, but truly, she hadn’t spent much quality time with him in almost a year. She’d thought life had gotten busy, her career more demanding, but was there more to it than that?
She was angry. She wasn’t sure at who, only that her life was falling apart, and the only two people who’d felt like family – her father and Shi – were both in jeopardy of being stripped away from her forever. Deep down, she’d always hoped for, well, hope. She’d thought somehow, someway, they’d both be in her world. It was a fairy tale story, but for years she’d gone to bed at night, dreaming that tale. Now she realized she had never really given up on it, even if she hadn’t allowed herself to think about it anymore.
Carmen stared out her window, unable to look at Shi, trying to suppress the emotions expanding inside her, knowing he could feel what she did, and staring at the highway, without seeing it. At some point, she’d told herself Shi wasn’t her mate, or he wouldn’t have been able to stay away. So why now, in his presence, did she feel they were mates, clear to her soul? Why did this fire between them exist, why did it resemble the mating heat she’d always heard about, and yearned for with Shi? Her parents had loved each other, lived for each
other, and so did every other mated couple she knew. But Shi had been matched with a Rebel and they’d hated each other. So being mates meant what? Hot sex with another wolf who may mean nothing else to you? Why did she want to be mated then? No, thank you. If she couldn’t have love, she’d be alone.
The vehicle hit a gravel road and Carmen glanced up to find they were pulling into a secluded ranch property just outside the city limits. Her gaze cut to the left to find Shi still propped against the window, staring at her. She squeezed her eyes shut against his probing inspection and refocused on the huge white house and the three large warehouse looking buildings off in the distance, beyond it. This was where Shi housed his mercenaries, or whatever they were. This was his world.
Carmen glanced at the driver she’d barely noticed until now, who had wavy brown hair and strong forearms, with sunglasses hiding his face. She wondered what he thought of what he’d heard in the backseat, but imagined he’d been paid well enough to not care.
“Could my father be controlled by magic?” she asked, without looking at Shi. “He had magic used on him to stop him from dying when my mother died. He’ll live his life with a spell cast on him. How can we know that hasn’t made him susceptible in some way?”
This was where he had to tell her things she wouldn’t want to hear. “The leader of the Benedanti, Ariel,” he explained, “who I know you know from his involvement with Nico and the Guard, says that the magic used to stop the death of a living creature isn’t used for a reason. It’s poison. It eats away at the person and turns them into something you don’t recognize. For some it would be quickly. For another, someone ancient and powerful like your father, the drain of his true self could be much slower, but not avoidable.”