PARTY, ASSEMBLE AT THE ENTRANCE IF YOU PLEASE.”
“It sounds as if the vicar and his party are leaving.” Smiled Haddington.
“That will thin our ranks, Clemmie.”
“I don’t know about thinning the ranks, Rupert, it will damn near empty the place.” He turned to go. “I’d best see him off.” Then he strode off.
The dance came to an end and Cynthia was about to dash over to see if Haddington was alright when her escort drew her attention to the necklace he had been holding for her after the clasp had broken again.
She put it around her throat and asked him to lock it for her, he had his back to Sir Rupert and Winterhaiming as he did so, as the couples all left the floor Sir Rupert caught sight of them and his eyes bulged from his head.
“Reggie……” He grabbed Winterhaiming’s arm.
“Yes, Sir Rupert?”
“Reggie, do you see there?” Winterhaiming followed his gaze, “Reggie, we have to save that poor girl.”
“Are mental delusions contagious?”
“Come along, lad, we have no time to spare.” He rushed off to be followed by Winterhaiming.
“……..the clasp is certainly broken, Miss Marlebone.”
“I wish I had not worn the wretched thing.”
“It’s been a wonderful night, Your Lordship.” Said the vicar’s wife.
“It certainly has,” smiled the vicar, “a marvellous success.”
“Mr Clarence must take the credit for that.”
“Not at all.” Smiled Clarence. They all said goodnight and the vicar and his wife climbed into their carriage and took up a position on the tail end of a long row of carriages clattering away.
“I wonder if they’ll all come again next year.” Chuckled Haddington as they were walking back into the house.
“If they do, I hope they give us plenty of warning.” Said Clarence.
“Nonsense, Clarence,” said Haddington with a laugh as he put his hand on Clarence’s shoulder, “you know you enjoyed having them.”
“I didn’t mind, Your Lordship, I just did the organising, I didn’t have to pay for it.”
Haddington stopped suddenly, looked at Clarence, then slapped him on the shoulder and burst into laughter.
They entered the house to see one of their guests standing with a red face as he glared through the monocle held to his eye at Winterhaiming and Sir Rupert who stood with one of the servants, pinning the servant’s arms to his side.
“What is the meaning of this?” Demanded the guest.
“It’s alright, Sir Henry,” said Haddington dashing from the side of a startled Clarence who stood looking on in silence.
“I asked this servant to put my cloak…..”
“Quite alright, Sir Henry,” Haddington said soothingly as he picked up the cloak to put on Sir Henry’s shoulders, led him to the door and pushed him out, “your carriage is waiting for you, goodnight.”
“Good…….” The door was closed in his face, with a stern look, Haddington came striding back to face the terrified servant.
“Don’t let him go, Reggie, don’t let him go.”
“I have him, Sir Rupert.”
“How could you, James,” demanded Haddington.
“Your Lordship?” Asked a quaking voice.
“Don’t lie to me, James, you told me you were cured.”
“Your Lordship?”
“I want you to prove you’re cured.”
“Your Lordship?”
“You may let him go gentlemen.” Sir Rupert and Winterhaiming reluctantly did so, “now, James, put your hands about Sir Rupert’s throat.”
“Your Lordship!”
“Must he, Clemmie, must he, why not use someone else to prove he’s cured, he might not be cured, what if he chokes the life out of me before your eyes?”
“Sir Rupert?” Asked the terrified servant.
“You need have no fear, Rupert, the fellow is cured.”
“Why not use someone else, why not use Clarence, his throat is thicker than mine.”
“Alright, alright, we’ll use…..” Haddington turned to where he had left Clarence, but the space was now deserted. “He’s gone.”
“I can’t blame him.” Said Sir Rupert.
“You want to help James don’t you?”
“Well……”
“Or would you rather see him swinging from a gibbet?”
“Your Lordship?” Quaked James.
“Certainly not. Alright, put your hands about my throat, but the slightest pressure and I’ll faint.”
Nervously James put his hands about Sir Rupert’s throat and stood looking at Haddington in bewilderment.
“Do I choke Sir Rupert now, Your Lordship.”
Just for one second Haddington hesitated. “No, James, you’re cured now, you don’t want to choke Sir Rupert do you?”
“Oh, no, Your Lordship.”
“Then remove your hands, now go on with your duties.”
“Very good, Your Lordship.” He bowed and with a nervous glance over his shoulder at Winterhaiming and Sir Rupert he walked down the corridor.
“He wasn’t really ill,” said Haddington, “it’s just that he’s so devoted to me he feels he must copy my ways, even my faults.”
“Yes.”
“Ah, Clarence, so glad to have you back with us.”
All four were walking back down the corridor when Winterhaiming spoke. “There is another problem, Your Lordship.”
“Is there?”
“Yes, we locked him in here.” Winterhaiming went to a door and opened it, in the small room by the light of a table lamp stood Cynthia’s dancing partner, he stood with wide eyes and was shaking uncontrollably.
“He was about to attack Cynthia.” Said Sir Rupert.
“I was helping her with her necklace…..”
“Not another word, sir.” Commanded Lord Haddington sternly. “This calls for another cure.”
“Oh, no, no, Clemmie.”
“There’s no need for you to worry, Rupert, I’ll just ask Clar……” Haddington turned to his right to see an empty space where he thought Clarence had been standing only seconds before.
It was in the early hours of the morning before the last guest had left, Haddington and Clarence sat talking in Haddington’s office to be joined by Cynthia and Lee who were too excited to sleep and finally by Cloud.
They talked for hours and finally they all decided it was time to retire. Haddington and Clarence were the last to leave, they came slowly walking out of the office toward the stairs.
“If I may, Your Lordship, your cravat is a little out of place.” Haddington stood there patiently with his hands behind his back, Clarence was just reaching for the cravat.
“We’ve no time to spare, Reggie, quickly, don’t waste time.”
“I’m here, Sir Rupert.”
“Oh, Lord.” Sighed Haddington to himself.
A few moments later Gilmore was passing the top of the stairs, he heard the murmur of voices from below, he walked softly to the banister to look over.
“You’re telling me not to choke Sir Rupert, Your Lordship?” Clarence was asking as he had his hands on Sir Rupert’s throat.
“You want to be cured don’t you?”
“I’m not sure.”
“Clarence.” Came the voice of Sir Rupert.
Gilmore shook his head and went quietly about his tasks.
Later, in his room, Haddington found it impossible to sleep. He got out of bed, dressed and went downstairs through a darkened silent house apart from the soft glow of one or two lamps. He went into the ballroom with a candle, this was the only light. All the tables had been cleared away and the floor swept clean so that as he crossed the room his footsteps echoed hollowly.
He placed the candle on a window sill in the far corner of the ballroom then he began to slowly pace up and down the long room, all one side was lined with French doors and as his eyes became accustomed to the dark he could see the trees a short distanc
e away with a clear, star-studded sky.
He was just making his third trip back down the room, his shoes squeaking across the floor boards when a small, dark shape came padding toward him, to rub itself against his leg with a soft meow.
“Well, well,” smiled Haddington as he reached down to pick up Miss Blackie, “so you’ve come to keep me company, have you?” He nursed her in his arms as she purred softly. He walked slowly up and down the room, then took up the candle and went off into a side corridor.
There was a row of paintings hanging from one wall and Haddington stopped under each one to hold up the candle.
“This is the gentleman that started it all.” Miss Blackie looked up with wide eyes as if listening to every word he said, “my great, great grandfather. A rogue, knave, villain, but the lover of queens and the friend of kings. An extraordinary man who lived in extraordinary times,” he glanced down at Miss Blackie, “so you should be impressed.”
He moved on to talk softly about the other paintings until he reached one that he looked up at in silence for a long time. Miss Blackie was looking up with apparent interest.
“I thought you’d recognise those handsome, boyish features. That’s me thirty years ago, do you see that diamond pin in my cravat? That was a birthday gift from my wife. Do you know how much it cost……?” Miss Blackie’s expression didn’t change, “neither do I, the cost is immaterial. I still have that pin, I’d rather have…….” His voice trailed off again, “we don’t want to get maudlin, do we?” He smiled at Miss Blackie who meowed softly, “of course we don’t. We have a new family now, what’s past is past.” He looked up at the painting again and shook his head, “thirty years.” It wasn’t that he was sad just surprised at how quickly thirty years could pass.
He came back into the ballroom to see that the night was passing and the trees were standing out in the first grey light of morning. He blew out the candle and was just crossing the room when he saw a dark shape standing inside one of the open French doors.
“Who is that?”
“I’ve come for the small creature.” Said a strange muffled voice.
“I beg your pardon?” The shape stepped forward and Haddington recognised him, “Mr Garth, you startled me.”
“Sorry, Your Lordship, I didn’t want to raise my voice too high.”
“That’s alright.”
“I’ve come for Miss Blackie, the lads are fretting for her.”
“Are they?”
“For the last couple of mornings she came with me while I did my rounds, she used to clean her little paws on Henry, but Ben has been getting a little jealous, so this morning I thought I might ask her to clean her paws on Ben.”
“I’m sure she’d readily comply.” Garth came across the room to take Miss Blackie who gave a soft meow to Haddington and then went off purring in the gardener’s arms.
Haddington stood with his hands in his pockets while he watched Garth cross the lawn, talking to Miss Blackie all the way, and disappear into the trees.
The old man walked up and down the ballroom once more as the birds outside suddenly burst into song as the first rays of the sun touched the very tops of the trees. Then he saw Two-Refs run quickly down the lawn and go into the trees toward where the road to the village lay.
Haddington left the ballroom and met Cloud walking toward the morning room for breakfast.
“Good morning, Smokey.” Smiled Haddington cheerfully.
“Good morning, Clem.”
“I just saw…..my grandson, he never misses his morning run, does he?”
“He better not, if he knows what’s good for him.” Said Cloud trying in vain to be stern, “he has to keep in shape.”
“Absolutely.” Haddington patted him on the shoulder.
After breakfast Clarence was making his way back to his room to start on the paperwork to finalise Haddington’s decision when he met Lee in the corridor.
“Just the man I want to see.”
“Really, sir?” Asked Clarence.
“There’s a family in the village by the name of Dobkins……” Lee had just finished his run and was wiping perspiration from his face with a towel.
“Yes, sir, I know all about them, and their wall.”
“You do?”
“You need not concern yourself with them any longer, His Lordship in his wisdom and generosity has ensured they receive a substantial sum to recompense them for all their trouble.”
“A substantial sum?”
“Five hundred pounds, sir.”
“Gee, the old man really is generous…..” Lee stopped, to continue wiping his face.
“No one has ever found him otherwise.” Clarence strolled on with a pleased expression.
“…..and fast, too.”
Clarence stopped and turned to look back at Lee. “Fast?”
“That’s right, I don’t know how he found out so quick about the accident .……”
“Accident, sir?”
“With the Dobkin’s wall, there was this big fellow in a cart and I…….”
“When did this accident take place?”
“Just now, I’ve only just left it, I hope……”
“It’s alright, sir,” said Clarence wearily, “I’ll take care of everything.”
“I didn’t mean to wreck the wall…..”
“Don’t give the matter another thought.”
“I hope the fellow in the cart is alright, the way he floated through the air to…..”
“Mr Lee, I shall see to it.” Said Clarence firmly.
“If you say so. Good morning.”
“Morning, sir.” Clarence bowed from the waist as Lee strolled away.
Haddington was very pleased, very pleased indeed, he’d spent a wonderful morning with Cynthia and her mother where they had all talked hours on end about his new grandson.
Now, much later, he came down the stairs from his room with a cigar in his mouth, humming happily as he took each step, when he had almost reached the bottom the sound of a familiar voice stopped him and silenced him.
“……. a tongue, sir, a tongue, haven’t you got a tongue?” It was the voice of Sir Rupert, Haddington groaned, turned and was just about to go up the stairs when he froze in his tracks.
“Certainly I’ve got a tongue.” The voice was rough, low and unfamiliar. Haddington went back down the few steps and poked his head around the corner, Sir Rupert was standing before a suit of armour.
“Then why in the name of Heaven haven’t you used it before?”
“Because I chose not to.”
The voice came from the suit of armour, Haddington’s mouth fell open and his cigar fell to the ground.
“That reply is inadequate, sir, God gave all his creatures tongues, and he expects all of them to make use of that tongue; you, sir, have been failing in your duties.”
“Not in this house, do you know that until you came there was not a soul of sufficient intelligence to match my own that I could have a good talk to.”
“Indeed?”
“I will only speak to intelligent, charming people of wit and sophistication, such as yourself.”
“How very kind of you to say so.”
“Rupert.” Haddington came down the corridor with a frown on his face.
“Oh, good morning, Clemmie…..”
“Rupert, you’re talking to…….”
“A suit of armour, I know, charming fellow.”
“And he was talking back.”
“Of course.”
Haddington took a quick look behind the armour and then lifted the visor to look inside.
“Don’t do that, old boy.” Said Sir Rupert, “he says it lets the draught in.”
“I didn’t hear him.”
“He didn’t say it just now, he said it to me before.”
“Make him say something else.” Said Haddington as he stepped back.
“Alright,” smiled Sir Rupert and then turned to the suit of armour, “how’s the wife?”
>
“Hows the wife?” Demanded Haddington.
“No, Clemmie, I just asked him that.”
“Well, what did he say?”
“He hasn’t said anything yet, you keep interrupting.”
“Alright, alright.” Said Haddington impatiently.
“The weather has been good, hasn’t it?” Sir Rupert stood with a smile on his face.
“Well, well, Rupert, what was his reply?”
“He hasn’t said anything yet.”
“Make him speak, Rupert, go on make him speak.”
“I can’t do that, old boy.”
“Tell him about his tongue, tell him to use his tongue.”
“Do suits of armour have tongues?”
“You heard him speak, so did I.”
”Then in that case you heard what he said, Clemmie?”
“He’s my suit of armour, make him speak to me.” Demanded Haddington.
“This is a free country, Clemmie, if a suit of armour chooses not to speak then we, as Englishmen, must abide by his decision.”
Haddington turned to stride off.
“The old fool.” Came from the suit of armour.
Haddington stopped and spun. Sir Rupert wore an innocent expression as he pointed to the suit of armour, Haddington grunted angrily and resumed his walk, as he turned the corner to go up the stairs he heard more of the conversation.
“Thank goodness, he’s gone.”
“Now, now, old boy,” he heard Sir Rupert saying, “he’s not such a bad chap.” Haddington went angrily up the stairs.
Sir Rupert stood with a bemused expression on his face as he looked down to the end of the corridor where Haddington had just disappeared from view.
Across the corridor Winterhaiming stepped from behind a curtain laughing to himself.
“How was that, my boy?”
“Wonderful, Sir Rupert, wonderful.”
“May I ask, Reggie, just what were we doing?” Asked Sir Rupert as they both walked down the corridor toward the front door.
“It was just a joke, Sir Rupert.” Winterhaiming chuckled.
“It didn’t seem funny to me.”
“Believe me, it was, very funny.”
“That’s quite a gift you have, my boy, of throwing your voice like that.”
“You meet many interesting people these days at university, Sir Rupert, and you can learn many things from them.”
A short time later Gilmore was leading one of the new maids into the corridor. He stopped at the threshold with the maid at his elbow.
“…….do you hear me? Now speak to me?” Haddington stood beside a suit of armour holding it by one of its metal arms, Clarence stood beside him with a blank expression. “You spoke to Rupert, and by God you’ll speak to me or I’ll put you in the boxroom where you’ll not see another soul.”
“Your Lordship……” Began Clarence.
“It did speak to Rupert, Clarence, I heard it.”
“I’m sure it did, Your Lordship.”
“Why won’t it speak to me, Clarence, after all, it is my suit of armour.” Without intending to Haddington pulled too hard and the arm of the suit of armour came off in his hand.
“I’m not surprised it won’t speak to you.” Said Clarence looking at the detached arm.
Gilmore became aware of the maid at his elbow, he pointed silently and shooed her out of the corridor.
“You can clean the corridor later.”
“I had heard, like, that he was a bit daft, like.” Said the maid.
“You will keep your nonsense about Lord Haddington to yourself.”
“I wasn’t talkin’ about Lord Haddington, I was talkin’ about that Sir Rupert.”
“That’s no way to act, you damn fool.” Garth called angrily up at the tree, to step aside quickly as a branch dropped to the ground just missing him. “Is that a way for a grown tree to act? Is it?” Another branch just missed him. “I tell you the little creature promised that tomorrow she will sharpen her claws on your feet, now what more can I do?” He jumped back as a branch plummeted to the ground. “Ah, you’re acting like a spoilt little twig, I want no more to do with you.” Garth strode off angrily.
They had all seen Sir Rupert and Winterhaiming off and now they came strolling into the forest to enjoy the warm afternoon sunshine.
Haddington had Lady Marlebone on one arm while he nursed a contented Miss Blackie in the other.
Lee and Cloud were behind involved in a deep discussion while Clarence took up the rear with Cynthia on his arm.
“You can’t Smoke, you just can’t, we need you here.” Lee was saying.
“He’s quite right.” Agreed Haddington.
“I’m a boxing manager, Two-Refs, what could I do around here?”
“Manage.” Said Haddington.
“That’s right, Smoke, you could manage the place.”
“Clarence does that.”
“I’m sure Mr Clarence would be more than pleased to have some of the burden taken off his shoulders.” Haddington said as he smiled over his shoulder.
“Mr Clarence certainly would.” Agreed Clarence.
“I wouldn’t want charity.” Said Cloud.
“Believe me, Cloud, you’ll earn every penny you’re paid.” Said Clarence.
“We really need you here, Smoke.” Pleaded Lee.
“We certainly do.” Agreed Haddington.
“I’ll make sure you keep up with your work-outs, and that you keep in shape.” Cloud told Lee.
“I will, Smoke.”
“Alright, get the tree, Two-Refs, get the tree.”
“Does that mean you’ll stay?”
“Not unless you get the tree.” Smiled Cloud.
“What do you want me to do, Smoke, tear it out by the roots?” Laughed Lee as he ran to the foot of the nearest tree.
“Just a few punches, boy, I don’t want you getting too ambitious.”
“Right.” Lee took up a stance and threw a few punches that connected heavily with the trunk of the tree.
Ben dropped a few branches down at Lee angrily, but Lee was bouncing around with speed and agility and was totally unaware of the near misses.
“Let’s see you run, boy.” Cloud demanded, and Lee ran off as fast as he could through the trees, Ben was still dropping his branches, Cloud stood below with his hands on his hips, proudly watching Lee disappearing.
Haddington and his group moved on, they were all watching Lee, after they’d taken a few steps they stopped while Haddington allowed Miss Blackie to leap from his arms and go over to a tree to scratch at it with her claws.
“I’ll bet that’s Henry.” Murmured Haddington as Miss Blackie yawned widely, stretched her body with her rump in the air and then curled up comfortably between the roots.
“What a lovely day it is.” Smiled Lady Marlebone.
“I say, it’s just occurred to me,” said Clarence suddenly, “where’s Cloud?” They all turned to look back at the base of the tree, but apart from a pile of branches on the ground there was no sign of the American. As soon as Clarence realised what he’d said he began to chuckle and then to laugh.
Lady Marlebone looked at Haddington with a puzzled frown, but the old Lord shrugged his shoulders in reply. Just the same they all smiled at Clarence as his laughter echoed through the trees.
The End.
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