Chapter 2
Cloud and Haddington were helping a very dazed Clarence down the long corridor, Winterhaiming and Lee were behind.
“Violence is so tiresome.”
“It is if you’re on the receiving end.” Said Lee with a smile.
“Why does he keep saying his name all the time, is he afraid people are going to forget it?” Cloud asked a dull-eyed Clarence.
“I’m going to get my hands on an axe,” mumbled the solicitor, “and dismember every tree I possibly can.”
As they approached the room the voices of the ladies and Sir Rupert came floating toward them.
“Sir Joseph has always said that.” Came the voice of Lady Marlebone. “He has, he’s said that, hasn’t he, Cynthia?”
“Yes, mother, yes, mother.”
“He has, well bless my soul, has he, he’s always said that, he said that, did he?”
Haddington groaned and Cloud thought it was Clarence and patted him on the head.
“It’s alright, pal, you’ll soon be fixed up.” The solicitor thought someone was pounding his head with a tree trunk and promptly passed out.
“He’s always said that, always.”
“As I told you, Lady Marlebone, my wife maintains the fellow is a lunatic, she has, a damned lunatic, my wife will tell you that, Garth is a damned lunatic. Of course those are not her exact words, no, dear me, not her exact words.”
“Mr Lee.” Said Haddington as Clarence slid to the floor. “Would you mind?”
“Of course not, of course not.” Haddington grimaced. Lee stepped forward and with one movement flung the unconscious solicitor over his shoulder.
“I’ll just go and get…. an ice pack for the poor fellow’s head.” Said Haddington as he strode off in the opposite direction determined to get a drink.
“That’s a good idea.” Said Lee as he swung around and brought Clarence’s head into contact with the wall. “He’ll need it when he comes to.”
“Mr Cloud, my dear Mr Cloud,” boomed Sir Rupert when they reached the open doorway, “do come in, do, by all means come in.”
“Willingly, pal, willingly. Want a hand there, Two-Refs?”
“No, no, I’ve got him, I’ve got him.”
“Tiresome, tiresome.”
Haddington increased the speed of his steps and put his hands to his ears, to stop the noise.
“Gilmore!”
“Coming, Your Lordship.” He appeared from a side door with a tray containing a bottle of whisky and a glass, he was wiping his mouth with a handkerchief as he saw the receding back of Haddington. As he followed he said softly, “coming, coming, Your Lordship.” The left side of his turned down mouth twitched faintly. Only close friends could tell that he was smiling to himself. “Coming, coming.”
Sir Rupert had Cloud roaring with laughter.
“He was a terrible fighter, terrible. He was so near-sighted only his opponent was safe.”
“I’ve met some referees like that.” Said Lee.
“One day, I was there so I know what I’m talking about, I was there, you see. One day he fell out of the ring and knocked out three spectators, a horse….”
“A horse?” Roared Cloud wiping his eyes.
“…some poor innocent policeman and his mother-in-law. I’ve always been a little suspicious about that last victim, yes, dear me, that last victim. I’ve had my suspicions.”
“How did they stop him?” Asked Lee.
”Oh, they got his wife,” said Sir Rupert casually, “his wife, they got her. The fellow’s wife, you see.”
“How did she stop him?”
“She knocked him out. Thump.” Sir Rupert gave an imitation of a vicious upper-cut. “Out he went, knocked him out. Flat on his back. Woke up two days later, yes, yes, two days. Just as well it was a gentle tap, dear me, yes, gentle.”
They were having a good chuckle when Lee looked over at an empty chair.
“Where’s Clarence?” He asked suddenly.
“He was over there.” Said Cloud pointing to the chair.
“He’s under my brother’s desk.” Said Sir Rupert calmly, as he took out a cigar and held it to his ear. “Do you mind, Lady Marlebone?”
“Not at all, Sir Rupert, you go right ahead.”
“What’s he doing under there?” Asked Lee.
“Capital, capital. Eh, what was that, old boy?”
“What is Mr Clarence doing under your brother’s desk?”
“I have no idea, no idea at all. Cigar?”
“Yeah, thanks.” Said Cloud.
“He is under there.” Said Lee as he walked around the desk to look under it.
“Of course, he crawled over there as soon as he came to his senses.” Smiled Sir Rupert as if it were the most natural thing in the world.
“I would prefer, Mr Lee,” came the voice of the solicitor from under the desk, “if you would just leave me where I am, I am rather taken with this safe little nook. I’ve grown weary of people trying to remove portions of my skull.”
“How tiresome.” Said Winterhaiming as he came walking over to the front of the desk.
“Exactly.” Said Clarence.
“You can’t stay under there.” Said Lee.
“Why not?”
“There are ladies present, where’s your manners?”
“He’s perfectly right, Clarence.” Said Sir Rupert and Cloud nodded in agreement.
“Oh, alright, give me a hand, will you?”
Lee leant down to help him.
“Winterhaiming help me here.” Said Lee pulling at one of Clarence’s arms.
“How tiresome.” Winterhaiming leant forward on the desk pushing a desk blotter across the top of the desk, it in turn pushed an ashtray off the edge.“Must I?” There was a thud and a grunt.
“Never mind.” Said Lee as he stood up.
“What about Clarence?” Asked Cloud.
“He….. he’s just taking a nap.”
“Poor chap, he needs it.” Said Sir Rupert.
“He certainly does,” said Cloud, “he is the most accident-prone character I’ve ever come across.”
“The funny part of it is,” said Sir Rupert, “that when he’s in the city he’s the soul of caution, caution, you see, not a scratch, take him out of the city and he falls to pieces, literally to pieces.”
“That I can believe.” Said Cloud smoking merrily on his cigar.
As the afternoon wore on Clarence finally woke up from his nap and sat glumly in a corner with a bandaged head. Sir Rupert managed to talk Lady Marlebone, her daughter and Winterhaiming into a game of bridge. It was one of the passions in his life. Along with the love of conversation.
Cloud and Lee looked on with interest. Lady Marlebone tried over and over again to get Cynthia to talk to Winterhaiming, but she kept up such non-stop chatter all of which was echoed over and over again by Sir Rupert that the conversation of the two young people consisted of “Yes, mother.” And “how tiresome.”
“Do you like hunting, Mr Winterhaiming?” Asked Lady Marlebone. “My husband just adores hunting.”
“Hunting,” smiled Sir Rupert, “I enjoy nothing more than to hunt. The early morning air, yes, the air……”
“Hunting is so tiresome.”
“Yes, I agree,” said Lady Marlebone, “it is a tiresome business, dear Mr Winterhaiming, too tender-hearted that’s your problem.”
“Oh, yes, tiresome.” Said Sir Rupert as he looked again at his hand, which was appalling, “tiresome it is, I find it that way myself, confounded tiresome.”
“I thought you said you enjoyed it?” Said Cloud.
“What, what was that, old boy?”
“I thought you said you enjoyed it?”
“Oh, I do.” He made his move and smiled broadly around the room, then swung back to Cloud. “Enjoyed what?”
“Hunting.”
“Jolly good idea, old chap, just a shade late at present, soon be dark, what would we hunt, owls?” He laughed.
“Knights.” Muttered Clarence.
“That’s right, that’s right, soon be night, Clarence is right, night, you see. Too dark, why, we’d end up shooting each other.”
“I’ll load the guns.” Said Clarence as he took another pill for his headache.
“Clarence,” laughed Sir Rupert, “you may had had half of your brains knocked out, but your sense of humour is still intact, your sense of humour, dear me, still intact.”
“It was just a suggestion.”
“How tiresome.”
“Why does he keep saying his name?” Cloud asked Lee in a whisper. “Why does he do that?”
“I don’t know, I don’t know.” Lee shook his head.
“I believe we’ve won, Mr Winterhaiming.” Said Cynthia to her partner.
“How tiresome.”
”Dear me,” said a glum Sir Rupert, “that makes eight straight games to you two.”
“Winning is so tiresome.” Said Winterhaiming.
“I couldn’t agree more.” Smiled Sir Rupert weakly.
“Never mind, Sir Rupert, we’ll win the next one.”
“I’m tired, mother, may I just watch?”
“Nonsense dear, we need a fourth.”
“I’ll take her place.” Said Cloud.
“You don’t know how to play, Mr Cloud, how to play, you see.” Said Sir Rupert.
“Sir Rupert is right, Mr Cloud,” said Lady Marlebone. “You don’t know how to play.”
“I’ve been watching, I know the fundamentals.”
“I’m rather tired myself.” Said Winterhaiming.
“Great, come on Two-Refs.” Smiled Cloud.
“You can’t have Mr Lee as your partner, Mr Cloud. You can’t you see.”
“Why not?”
“You both don’t know the rules.”
“Smokey and I are quick to pick things up, aren’t we Smoke?”
“We sure are.”
“It would be most unfair of my partner and I to do such a thing to you.”
“We’ll take that chance.”
“You said it.” Agreed Cloud.
“Alright, we warned you, we warned the pair of you, didn’t we, Lady Marlebone?”
“We did, Sir Rupert, we did.”
Lee and Cloud proceeded to win the next eight games.
They were interrupted by Gilmore with the news that dinner was prepared. Sir Rupert, with Lady Marlebone on his arm, led the way with a repetitious babble, followed by a bored Winterhaiming with an equally bored Cynthia, while Lee and Cloud took up the rear, each supporting a hobbling Clarence.
It was as he took a seat that Cloud asked about Lord Haddington, the first to do so since that afternoon.
“His Lordship offers his regrets, sir,” said Gilmore, “he is at present indisposed.”
“Ain’t nothing bad, I hope.”
“His Lordship, unfortunately, is of a delicate nature,” said Clarence. “He is prone to these periods of indisposition. A minor condition I assure you, I feel certain he will be fully recovered by morning.”
“Gee that’s too bad, me and Two-Refs won’t be here, we gotta think about getting back to London. I gotta get some fights for my boy.”
“I believe, sir,” said Gilmore to Clarence, “that His Lordship had intended to ask Mr Cloud and Mr Lee to be his guests for the weekend.”
“That was very generous of him,” said Clarence, “it’s unfortunate Mr Lee and Mr Cloud cannot accept his….”
“I don’t see why not, do you, Two-Refs?”
“No.”
“Of course we’ll stay.” Cloud turned to Gilmore, “you thank Clem for us.”
“I will, sir.”
“How tiresome.”
“Oh, Gilmore?”
“Yes, Mr Clarence?”
“Did His Lordship also mention Mr Winterhaiming?”
“No, sir, I don’t believe he did.”
“I’m sure he meant to, naturally you’ll stay, Winterhaiming?”
“If I must.” He looked very bored as Lady Marlebone fluttered her eyelids in his direction.
“His Lordship also mentioned how much he hoped Lady Marlebone and Miss Marlebone would also accept such an invitation.”
“That’s quite alright, Gilmore,” said Lady Marlebone, “His Lordship and I have already discussed that matter, and we’ve both agreed, haven’t we, Cynthia?”
“Yes, mother.”
“Jolly,” smiled Sir Rupert, “absolutely jolly, what a ripping weekend this will be.”
“Yes.” Said Clarence as he rubbed a sore spot on his head.
During the meal Cloud kept them entertained with stories of famous fights and famous fighters, all of which Sir Rupert repeated once or twice. Winterhaiming slept silently with his eyes open while Lady Marlebone kept up a constant stream of chatter at his elbow.
They returned to the card room for a few more games of bridge before the ladies retired for the night.
Sir Rupert sat telling Lee and Cloud his life story once again, as Clarence sat dozing over a glass of brandy. Winterhaiming was sleeping with his eyes open.
“You don’t say, you don’t say.” Said Cloud.
“I do, I do, old chap, I do.”
“How long ago was this, Sir Rupert,” asked Lee, “how long ago?”
“Only a couple of years.”
“Just a couple, is that all, a couple?”
“That’s all, old chap, that’s all.”
“A couple of years, is that all?” Asked Cloud.
“That’s all, a couple of years, only a couple of…..yes Gilmore?” The servant had entered the room quietly.
“Pardon, Sir Rupert, may I have a few words with Mr Clarence?”
“He’s over there, over there snoring, you see him?”
“I see him, sir.”
“Go ahead, go ahead.”
“Thank you, sir, thank you, sir.”
“You said just a couple of years?” Asked Cloud.
“Did I? Did I say a couple of years?”
“That’s what you said.” Said Cloud.
“That’s what you said.” Said Lee.
“Now why would I say such a thing, why I wonder?”
“Maybe because it was a couple of years?” Put in Cloud helpfully.
“That’s right, by Jove, that’s right.” Smiled Sir Rupert.
Gilmore was talking softly to Clarence.
“So it’s only a couple of years ago?” Asked Cloud.
“What is, old chap, what is a couple of years ago?”
“Where is he now?” Said Clarence calmly as he got to his feet, but there was a grimness in his voice that made Lee, Cloud and Sir Rupert look across the room at him.
“The last time I saw him, sir, he was heading for the back of the house.”
“Was he armed?”
“He was carrying an axe, sir.”
“Very well,” Clarence walked over to Lee, “I may need your assistance, Mr Lee.”
“I’m at your service.”
“Is it my brother, Clarence?”
“I’m afraid so, Sir Rupert.”
“Is he indisposed again?”
“Yes.”
“Oh, dear, dear me.”
“Just what is it you want my boy to do?” Asked Cloud.
“I may have need of his skill with his fists.”
“Say, this sounds exciting.” Smiled Cloud.
“Yes.” Clarence led the way from the room followed by Lee and Sir Rupert, Gilmore followed. Cloud went across to Winterhaiming.
“Hey, Tiresome, ain’t you coming?”
“Pardon?” He blinked his eyes as he was startled from his sleep.
“We got some excitement going on here.”
“Has Oxford won?” He asked stupidly.
“Won what?”
“What are you talking about?”
“Two-Refs is gonna use his fists, we’re in for some fine exhibition.”
“How tiresome.”
“Yeah, sure,” Cloud
walked away scratching his head, “I already know his name, funny fellah.”
He came upon Sir Rupert and Gilmore standing at an open door looking into the darkness at the back of the house. He stepped outside to find Lee and Clarence looking intently into the night.
“There.” Said Clarence as the sound of someone chopping wood broke the silence, “come along, Mr Lee.” He ran toward the sound followed by Lee and Cloud close on his heels.
They came upon a dark figure busily chopping a tree, Clarence lit a match and knelt down to put it to a lamp he was carrying. Lord Haddington continued chopping with great vigour, ignoring the intruders.
“You know what to do, Mr Lee.” Ordered Clarence.
“You sure you want me to do this?”
“It’s the only way, you must hurry, Garth is probably on his way right now.”
Cloud looked around him with a worried expression and moved closer to the lamp.
Lee walked up to Haddington carefully and after a second of hesitation grabbed at the axe as it came swinging back, with a roar of anger and with amazing strength the old man tore it loose from his grasp and raised it above his head.
“What’s going on there?” Came a familiar voice off in the distance.
“Garth.” Said Clarence. Haddington wore a diabolical smile as he turned slowly in the direction of the voice still with the axe above his head.
“Hurry, Lee.”
Lee stepped up behind Haddington and tapped him on the shoulder, as the old man spun around, Lee hit him on the jaw. Haddington staggered back and Lee grabbed him as he fell into unconsciousness.
“Come along, Cloud.” Ordered Clarence as he ran over to take one arm while Cloud took the other. “We’ll leave you to face Garth.” He said to Lee.
“I can handle him.” As Clarence and Cloud carried Haddington back to the house, Lee blew out the lamp and picked up the axe. He could see a black shape moving toward him through the trees.
Lee ran off quickly in another direction, he took a couple of whacks with the flat of the blade on a tree here and there drawing Garth with him.
“Who are you? What do you think you’re doing?” Garth was running but he didn’t sound out of breath at all, Lee, on the other hand was getting tired.
He reached a tree and climbed it. He took a stand on one branch and began to chop at another until he felt it was just about to give way, then he waited.
“Death, my friend, death is about to visit you,” he could hear Garth raving as he drew nearer, “my trees will soon put you right.”
Lee watched the figure moving quickly beneath him, then with one kick the branch gave way and went dropping to the ground.
“Rupert, you treacherous…..”
“Well, well,” smiled Lee as he began to climb down, “glad to meet you, Rupert.” He patted the tree and walked over to the unconscious shape under the branch. He was startled to feel no pulse until he realised he was holding a piece of the tree. He searched through the twigs and leaves until he found what he thought was one of Garth’s arms, it too felt like the branch of a tree but he was relieved to feel a strong pulse.
He left Garth breathing quietly under the branch, as he walked away he turned back to look at the tree.
“Lord help you, Rupert, when he wakes up.” Lee smiled. As if in alarm a couple of branches fell from the tree to drop with a thud to the ground. He made his way quickly back to the house.
“For Heaven’s sake, Clarence, speak to him.” Lee heard the worried voice of Sir Rupert and went off in its direction.
Haddington stood in one corner of the room, his face wore a vicious snarl as he held a heavy piece of wood above his head.
“Say it again, Rupert,” Haddington snapped, “go on, say it again, perhaps Clarence didn’t hear you. He’s just as old and just as senile as you.”
“Oh, dear me.” Sir Rupert said, the sound of his hurt from the cutting remark being added to his concern for his brother.
“Lord Haddington……” Began Clarence as he took one step toward him.
“Keep back you clumsy lout.” He raised the piece of wood higher. “If only your knowledge of law was equal to your clumsiness you’d be a high court judge now, wouldn’t you, Clarence.”
“If you say so, Your Lordship.” Replied Clarence calmly.
“Clumsy oaf.” Muttered Haddington, Cloud tried to sneak in from the side.“Keep your distance, you vulgar colonial.”
“Who are you callin’ a colonial?”
“Stay back, Smoke.” Said Lee as he walked very slowly to stand in front of Haddington.
“Be careful, Two-Refs, he ain’t indisposed, he’s drunk, drunk as a Lord.”And Cloud chuckled at his own joke.
“This is not the time and place for bad jokes.” Said Clarence watching Lee with concern as he drew closer to Haddington who was raising the piece of wood with more menace. “I suggest you be very careful, Mr Lee.”
“Brainless brawn.” Muttered Haddington watching with narrowed eyes. “Nothing in that skull but muscle.”
“I have a notion I’ve got more brains than you.” Smiled Lee.
“Bah!”
“Put up your dukes, I don’t need a piece of wood, I can out think you with one hand tied behind my back.”
“No brainless, vulgar colonial fool could ever do any such thing.”
“Put that down and meet me man to man.” Haddington stood looking at him with narrowed eyes.
“Oh, dear me, dear me.” Said a worried Sir Rupert.
“If that stupid old fool repeats one more thing I’ll make full use of this weapon.”
“He seems harmless enough.” Said Lee.
“He may seem harmless enough.” Snapped Haddington, “but he’s the sort of senile old creature that drives men to their deaths.”
“Ignore him.” Lee took up a stance facing Haddington, “this dispute is between we two gentlemen, and we can settle it in a gentlemanly manner.”
“Gentlemen! You dare call yourself a gentleman? You uncouth ill-mannered lout.”
“Teach me a lesson.”
“Teach you a lesson, I intend to thrash you within an inch of your life, teach you a lesson, indeed.”
“Sounds like another Sir Rupert, the way you repeat yourself.”
“You dare to compare me with that stupid, old fool, perhaps after I’ve hammered your skull with this, you might reveal more common sense.”
“Being a colonial lout, perhaps I should have a weapon too?”
“A weapon?”
“Certainly, if you intend to cheat…..”
“Cheat!” The piece of wood was poised dangerously in the air. “A gentleman never cheats, and it is a proven fact that a Haddington finds it impossible to cheat.”
“What do you call that?” He pointed to the piece of wood.
“This, sir, I call an equaliser,” he said haughtily, “I am facing a brute, a brainless barbarian, thus I have no recourse than to call upon it for aid.”
“To cheat.”
“Are you deaf as well?”
“Put it aside and meet me like a man.”
“A gentleman does not soil his hands on some brutish ruffian.”
“Sir Rupert, come here will you?” Lee turned to beckon a worried Sir Rupert who came forward nervously.
“Oh, dear.”
“Why bring this fool into it?”
“He is your brother.”
“That was none of my doing.”
“But if you’re a gentleman and he’s your brother, he must be a gentleman too.”
“There are doubts on that.”
“You won’t be soiling your hands.”
“If I hit him with this, I won’t be.”
“Go ahead.”
“Oh, dear.”
“Lee, are you insane?” Asked a worried Clarence.
“Go on.” Said Lee focusing his attention on Haddington.
“It would be cruelty to a dumb animal.” Smiled Haddington.
“Oh, dear me, de
ar me.”
“But most gratifying just the same.” Muttered Haddington.
“I would like to see how gentlemen solve disputes, it would be good for my brutish manners.”
“And give me a great deal of pleasure.”
“Here, right here.” Lee patted the top of Sir Rupert’s bald head.
“It will damage the wood,” muttered Haddington, “but he’ll recover.” With intense concentration he raised the wood higher and then brought it down.
Lee pushed Sir Rupert aside at the last moment and stepped aside himself, with a thud the wood hit the floor, Lee stepped forward and threw a punch to Haddington’s chin. The old Lord stood stunned for a second, then his eyes rolled to the roof and he dropped to the floor.
“That is one dangerous man.” Said Cloud as Lee and Clarence raced to the fallen form.
“I heartily agree with you,” said Sir Rupert as he mopped his brow with a handkerchief, “a dangerous, vicious man. Dangerous, vicious and ….. dangerous.” Even though he was unconscious, Haddington groaned.
“Mr Cloud will you take his legs?” Asked Clarence.
“Right.” He took up the legs of the unconscious man.
“I’ll take his shoulders.” Said Lee and did so.
“If you’ll come this way, gentlemen.” Clarence and Gilmore led the way out of the room up the stairs and into Haddington’s room. “Just place him on the bed.”
Lee and Cloud placed him on the bed gently and walked back to the door to stand with Sir Rupert. While Gilmore expertly undressed Haddington, Clarence went to a chest of drawers, opened one of the drawers and took out a small leather box. He opened the box and took out a syringe.
“What’s that for?” Asked Cloud.
Clarence looked over his shoulder with a start as if he had forgotten their presence, which he had.
“It’s to help His Lordship sleep,” he walked over to them and began to usher them from the room, “if you would be so kind, Sir Rupert, as to entertain our two guests, I’ll join you presently.”
“How shall I entertain them, Clarence, I can’t entertain people, I wouldn’t know how to entertain them.”
Clarence was closing the door in his face. “Give them a drink.” He suggested and closed the door.
“That’s the kind of entertaining I like.” Said Cloud as he rubbed his hands together.
“Come along, chaps, come along.” Smiled Sir Rupert as he led the way.
“Is Clemmie often indisposed like that?” Asked Cloud.
“Quite often, oh, yes, quite often, he does tend to be often indisposed like that.”
“How often?” Asked Lee.
“How often what?”
“Is Clem indisposed like that?” Asked Cloud.
Sir Rupert stopped and looked at them with a puzzled frown. “How often is he indisposed like that?” Echoed Sir Rupert half to himself. “Rarely.” He smiled and turned on his heels to continue on his way. “Oh, dear me, very rarely.”
“You just said it was often.” Said Cloud.
“Who said?”
“You.” Put in Lee.
“What did I say?”
“You said often.”
“Did I? About what?”
“Your brother’s indisposition.”
“Why would I say a silly thing like that, no, no, my dear fellow you’ve misheard, yes, misheard, that’s what you’ve done.”
“Then Lord Haddington is not often like that?” Asked Lee.
“Quite often, oh, yes, quite often, tragic business.”
“But you said……” Cloud stopped himself and turned to lee. “Do you get the feeling we’re talking to ourselves?”
“Talking to yourselves,” said Sir Rupert shaking his head sadly, “talking to yourselves, first sign of madness, you know, first sign, talking to yourselves, dear me.” He caught sight of himself in a mirror as he was walking by, “good evening,” he called with a smile, “charming fellow.” He muttered.
“If it is the first sign, Two-Refs, it looks like we’ll be joining a crowd.” Said Cloud.
The card room was empty when they entered it, obviously Winterhaiming had retired earlier. It was after a few drinks and some jovial conversation that Clarence joined them. He poured himself a drink and sat in a chair facing them while they were still chuckling over one of Sir Rupert’s jokes.
Finally, Sir Rupert decided to retire for the night, he, Cloud and Lee exchanged hearty goodnights and with a quick glance at the gloomy, silent Clarence left the room.
“Is he a card?” Asked Cloud of Lee, “ain’t he, is he a card or is he a card?”
“He’s a card, he’s a card.” Smiled Lee as he resumed his seat.
“You’d think he’d be a stuffed shirt, being called Sir and having a brother for a Lord, or is it a Lord for a brother?” Cloud scratched his head.
“He’s no stuffed shirt.” Said Lee.
“He sure ain’t,” Cloud shook his head, “he ain’t no stuffed shirt.”
“That’s one thing Sir Rupert is not.”
“He’s not a stuffed shirt.”
“He most definitely is not a stuffed shirt.”
Clarence winced and put his hand to his head. “Gentlemen….” He began.
“I don’t think you could call him a stuffed shirt.” Said Cloud.
“I wouldn’t call him a stuffed shirt.”
“Gentlemen, do you realise you’re repeating everything?”
“I’m not repeating anything, are you, Two-Refs?”
“No, I’m not repeating a thing.”
“See, Clarence, my man, we ain’t repeating nothing.”
“Gentlemen, you are repeating to such an extent that I am approaching the point where I cannot be held responsible for my actions.”
“It’s the bump on the head, Clarence.” Said Cloud.
“That’s what it is, the bump on the head.” Agreed Lee.
“Gentlemen…..”
“You can’t expect a bump on the head not to have some effect Clarence.”
“That’s right, the most sensitive part of the body,” Lee sat tapping his head, “a bump on the head is…..”
“Alright, I have a bump on the head,” snapped Clarence, “I wonder if we might just change the subject, I think we’ve covered a bump on the head fairly extensively, now I want to speak on a different subject beside a bump on ….. oh Lord, now I’m doing it.” He rubbed his head.
“Like I said, Clarence, a bump…..” Began Cloud.
“I want to ask a favour of you both.” He said quickly.
“Anything you want, Clarence.” Said Cloud.
“That’s right.” Agreed Lee.
“You want a favour, you go right ahead and ask anything at all.”
“You want a favour?” Asked Lee, “anything.”
“Thank you, gentlemen…..”
“All you have to do is ask, don’t he, Two-Refs?”
“That’s right, Smoke, anything.”
“Gentlemen, will you let me ask you the favour?”
“That’s what we’re waiting for, you go ahead.” Said Cloud.
“Go right ahead, Mr Clarence…..”
“In the name of Heaven, will you both hold your tongues!” Demanded Clarence.
“That seems easy enough.” Smiled Cloud as he was just about to comply.
“I don’t think that’s what Mr Clarence meant.”
“No, Mr Lee, it was not.”
“We’re listening.” Said Lee.
“At last.” He rubbed his head again.
“You go right…..” Began Cloud, but Clarence gave him such an angry look he fell silent.
“Lord Haddington is the victim of a malady,” began Clarence, “a malady over which he has no control, he doesn’t suffer it often and its affects are not long lasting, once it passes he remembers nothing.”
“I know a lot of people suffer that malady,” smiled Cloud, “we call ‘em drunks.” Clarence gave him another sharp look, “Sorry.”
/> “It is similar to inebriation…..”
“To what?” Asked Cloud.
“A drunk.” Said Lee.
“Oh.”
“As I was saying, gentlemen, it has certain similarities…”
“A hell of a lot of ‘em. I’d say. Sorry.”
“But let me assure you both that it is far more serious than just…..”
“Drunkenness.” Put in Lee helpfully.
“A little too much to drink.” Clarence was still rubbing his head.
“So what favour did you want, Clarence, if you want us to keep his glass filled….” Smiled Cloud.
“I do not want you to keep his glass filled.” He raised his voice angrily, then quickly lowered it. “I want you both to give me your word that you will not discuss what happened tonight with another soul.”
“A secret, you mean?” Asked Cloud.
“Precisely.”
“You’ve got my word, Mr Clarence.” Said Lee.
“And mine.”
“Thank you,” he got to his feet, “that’s very kind of both of you, I think I’ll retire for the night it’s getting late. Goodnight.” He nodded to both of them.“Goodnight.”
“Goodnight.”
He was just walking out the door when Cloud turned to Lee.
“What do you suppose he meant by that crack about us repeating ourselves?”
“Beats me, Smoke, beats me.”
“Me neither.”
As he walked away Clarence began to rub the side of his head again.
Clarence had had a late night, in the sense that he had got to bed much later than he was used to, he had also drunk a little more than he was used to, this was due to the company and also to the fact that he had had a raging headache.
It wasn’t the chirping of birds that awoke him very early in the morning when the sun had only just risen it was something more pressing, an urgent call of nature.
With bleary eyes and pounding head he literally crawled out of bed and onto the floor, he rose achingly to his height and stumbled over to the open window. Despite the sunny sky the morning was cold and he shivered and held his hands to his ears to drown out the birds.
“Quiet, quiet.” He pleaded softly not daring to raise his voice, he stepped forward and closed the window, then with a sigh lowered himself to the floor on all fours and headed for something under the bed. Off in one corner he saw his prey, a chamber pot. With a smile he edged slowly toward it and was just putting his hand out when the silence was broken by the sound of breaking glass in the house below.
Clarence was startled and raised his head bringing it into violent contact with the bed.
“Confound it,” he muttered between clenched teeth, “he couldn’t be up this early.” He dragged the pot from under the bed rubbing his head.
A short time later he was dressed and was making his way down the stairs, Gilmore was on his knees cleaning up some broken glass.
“Good morning, Gilmore.”
“Good morning, sir, good morning.” He said as he continued on with his work.
“Is Lord Haddington up?”
“No, sir, no, he’s not up, sir, not yet.”
“Then how….” Clarence pointed to the glass.
“Mr Lee, sir, he and Mr Cloud passed this way, Mr Lee and Mr Cloud, they were here, sir.”
“Where are they now?”
“I believe they were on their way to the back of the house to, as Mr Cloud put it, torment a few trees, at the back of the house, I believe, sir.”
“And where is Sir Rupert?”
“He was just here, sir, Sir Rupert was just here.”
“I know that, where did he go?”
“He went looking for Larkin, sir, I believe he wanted a cup of tea made.”
“He’s gone in the direction of the kitchen?”
“I believe he has, sir, yes, in the direction of the kitchen.”
Clarence was relieved he would be going nowhere near the kitchen as he walked to the back of the house.
He saw Lee and Cloud. Lee was jumping about throwing punches at an imaginary opponent under the directions of Cloud.
Clarence saw a chair to his left behind a stand holding a small, leafy pot plant, he walked over to it and sat down, he wanted to have a few words with Cloud but it could wait.
“The tree, Two-Refs, get the tree.”
Lee danced over to a tree and threw some punches that he only just stopped from making contact.
“Good morning, lads.” Came the cheery voice of Haddington from a room above.
“Good morning, Clem.” Smiled Cloud, Lee was just throwing a punch, he turned to look up and his fist slammed into the tree, he turned to smile up at Haddington.
“What in Heaven’s name are you both doing up so early?”
“This isn’t early, Clem, this is our normal workout time, ain’t it, Two-Refs?” Lee nodded.
“Decent, Christian gentlemen would never show their faces at such an obscene hour.”
“We can’t speak for them.” Said Cloud and Lee nodded. “Keep at it, boy.”
“I’ll be right down.”
“We’ll wait.”
Clarence sat sprawled in his chair watching a minor drama with a blank expression. Apparently only he was aware of it, but with Lee’s thump to the tree a familiar face had suddenly appeared a few trees away.
Garth came creeping forward slowly with narrowed eyes.
‘Should I warn Lee?’ Thought Clarence but made no effort to do so.
The gardener reached the tree and slowly came around with his hands out ready to grip Lee by the throat; the boxer was throwing one punch after the other under the direction of Cloud, just stopping from hitting the tree.
“I say chaps,” came the voice of Sir Rupert at the doorway as he came out followed by an elderly servant carrying a tray. “Care to join me for a cup of tea; I’ve got some tea here, care to join me?”
Cloud turned to nod and wave, Lee too turned just as he was throwing a punch, it caught Garth under the chin, bodily lifted him and knocked him from sight.
Clarence saw the pair of legs in the air going out of sight and snorted. Lee stood looking at his fist with a frown.
“What’s wrong?” Asked Cloud.
“I think I hit the tree again.”
“For God’s sake be careful, Two-Refs, we don’t want that Garth character jumping on us from one of his trees.”
“Not much chance of that, he’s probably sound asleep somewhere.”
“Yeah, in a branch.”
“Bring the tray down here, Larkin.” Said Sir Rupert.
“Yes, sir.”
While the servant stood with the tray, Sir Rupert began to pour himself a cup, but he was still groggy and managed to pour the steaming liquid onto Larkin’s hand, with a yelp of pain he stepped back and bumped into the small table holding the pot plant, it wobbled a little and finally the pot plant fell from sight to land with a gentle thud.
“Be careful, Larkin, don’t spill the tea.” Said Sir Rupert as he stepped forward to grab him by an arm.”
“No, sir.”
“This way.” Haddington appeared at the doorway and he and his brother led the servant off toward some tables and chairs to one side of the house.
Lee and Cloud came walking by. “Who’s that?” Asked Lee as they caught sight of two legs spread out from a chair.
“It’s Clarence.” Smiled Cloud. “Asleep.”
“Funny place to sleep.”
“Yeah.” They joined Haddington and Sir Rupert down at the table.
“Some toast, Two-Refs?” Asked Haddington.
“That sounds like a good idea.” He was just picking up a piece of toast when Cloud snatched it from him.
“No you don’t.”
“Hey…”
“No breakfast for you until after your morning run.”
“Aw, Smoke.”
“On your way, go on.”
“Where?”
“Anywhere, ju
st run.” He munched on the toast.
“If you go through the trees there,” said Haddington pointing with a piece of toast, “you should come to our road to the village.’
“Yeah, that sounds good.” Said Cloud. “Get moving, boy.”
With his arms held high and his elbows tucked in, Lee did a standing run and then ran off toward the trees.
“He’s remarkably fit.” Said Haddington to Cloud.
“He certainly is,” said Sir Rupert, “fit to a remarkable degree, really fit.”
“He’s fighting fit, Clem, fighting fit.”
Garth had got to his feet to stumble off to another tree, he stood leaning against it under some low hanging branches.
“What hit me, Rupert?” He mumbled just as Lee came running past and grabbed a branch to clear the way, then released it, it sprang back to hit Garth in the chest and knock him to the ground, he sat there stunned for a second when another branch broke loose from above to fall on him. “Rupert?” He managed to say before he fell sideways unconscious.
Lee found the road and with steady tread set off for the village, he ran and ran, past quiet trees and solemn cows standing watching him from paddocks, until he saw the spire of the church in the distance, he did a little running on the spot as he watched some birds overhead, then turned and headed back to Lord Haddington’s house.
He was running swiftly along when he caught sight of a man sitting under a tree just off the road, it was the first person he’d seen since he set off on his run.
He halted and did some more running on the spot while the figure puffed quietly on a pipe and watched him.
“Morning.” Said Lee as he walked over to him.
“Good morning.” He smiled. He wore a neat tweed suit with a deerstalker hat, he had bright blue eyes and a neat beard.
“I’m Lee.”
“How do you do, Mr Lee. Marlowe.” He held out his hand and Lee took it. “You’re Lord Haddington’s guest?”
“Yes.”
“American.”
“Yes.”
“The pugilist?”
“Yes.”
“Care to join me?”
“Thanks.” Lee sat down beside him and Marlowe held up an open bag with sandwiches.
“Cucumber.” He said simply.
“Thanks.” Lee took one. “You know about me?”
“There’s very little that doesn’t happen within a radius of a hundred miles that the village doesn’t know about seconds after it’s happened.” He looked at Lee carefully as he smoked his pipe and the American munched on his sandwich. “Are you his grandson?”
“I don’t know, my manager seems to think I am.”
“I hope you are. Lord Clumsy needs a grandson.”
“Lord Clumsy?” Lee looked at him. “Who is Lord Clumsy?”
“Lord Haddington of course, it’s an affectionate nickname the villagers have given him.”
“Why do they call him that?”
“You don’t know?” Asked Marlowe with surprise.
“No, I don’t.” He shook his head.
“You’ve only been there one night, you’ll soon find out.”
“It seems a silly thing to call him.” Lee shook his head.
“You’ve met his brother, Rupert Repetitious?”
“Rupert Repetitious?”
“You’re not going to question that nickname, surely?”
“No,” he chuckled, “I think I’ve got a rough idea where that came from.”
“I should think so, I should think so.” They both laughed. “Drink?” Marlowe offered him a small flask. “It’s only water I’m afraid .”
“Thanks, it’s just what I need.” He took a drink and handed it back. “You said he needs a grandson?”
“That’s right.”
“What did you mean?”
“What do you know about Lord Haddington?”
“Not much.”
“He’s very attached to his lands, his estates are the great love of his life, he looked forward with pride when he could leave them to his son, who he worshiped. His only son was killed some years ago while soldiering in Africa, he left a young childless widow, who later remarried. Lord Haddington’s only daughter ran off with an actor from the stage, the last heard of them was that they were on their way to America where she gave birth to a son.
“A few years ago Lord Haddington’s wife died and that left him with Rupert and his wife, both far from young, and I believe for the first time it began to dawn on him that his estates would be broken up on his death and scattered to distant relatives, that’s when he began this search for his grandson.”
“Smoke didn’t tell me that.”
“Smoke?”
“My manager.”
“He’s a tragic figure really.”
“A gentleman just the same.”
“Oh, yes, the very soul of a gentleman, you couldn’t meet a finer man, that is provided he keeps away from the drink.” Lee looked at him sharply. “If he gets in his cups it’s like a totally different man. There is a Scottish novelist named Robert Louis Stevenson, he wrote a book called ‘Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde’ or some such thing, have you read it?” Lee shook his head. “It’s a tale of a man with two different personalities in the one body; many locals swear the story is based on Lord Haddington.”
Lee munched on his sandwich in silence.
“It’s only over the past couple of years, just since the death of his wife in fact, that this personality has revealed itself. He was always a moderate drinker before that.” Marlowe looked at him in profile as he munched on another sandwich. “You’ve met the other Lord Haddington, haven’t you?”
Lee just looked at him.
“It’s no secret, Mr Clarence would like to think it is, but it’s one of those well-kept secrets everybody knows about.”
“I’d rather forget about the other Lord Haddington.” Lee said quietly.
“He is rather a nasty blighter, isn’t he?” Asked Marlowe and Lee just nodded.
“You haven’t told me what you’re doing up so early, Mr Marlowe?”
“Liman.”
“Liman?”
“That’s my name, Liman Marlowe.”
“That’s a strange name.”
“It’s German, my grandmother was German, and I got the name from one of her brothers. I’m an amateur naturalist, I work in the city during the week and go out into the fields on the weekend, my only opportunity.”
“What’s your job?”
“I’m a civil servant.”
“With the government?”
“Yes.”
“Sounds very important.”
“Far from it, my dear chap, a very minor position, I assure you.” Marlowe got to his feet and brushed off the grass from his clothes, he picked up a small wicker basket with a long cord and draped it over his shoulder, he picked up the flask and the remains of the sandwiches and their wrappings and placed them in the basket.
“You study flowers and trees and such?”
“In my own small way.”
Lee got to his feet. “How does Garth feel about that?”
“At first he wasn’t too keen on the idea, he regards all his fellow humans with the utmost suspicion so you can imagine how he felt about some city popinjay poking at his beloved trees?”
“I got some idea.”
“He put me on probation so to speak and spied on me every chance he had, when he found some leaves in my pocket one day, I seriously feared for my life until I could convince him that I had picked them from the ground where they had fallen. He suffers me to wander among his trees with very bad grace if I may say so, I suspect its Lord Haddington’s kindness really.”
“Well, Liman it’s been a pleasure making your acquaintance.” Lee held out his hand.
“Same here, old chap.” He shook it vigorously, “by the way what is your name?”
“My friends call me Two-Refs.”
“How odd. Wherever did you manage to pick
that gem up?”
“Most fighters have a nickname, Slugger, Punchy, Haystack.”
“Not many with the name Two-Refs, I’ll wager.”
“Not that I’ve come across.”
“You must tell me where…I say.” Marlowe squinted off into the distance.
“Something wrong?”
“It’s Mr Garth.”
“Where?”
“Just over there, see him, talking to one of his trees?”
“I can’t see anything.”
“I suppose we must go over and say good morning.”
“Must we?”
“It’s the decent thing to do, besides he knows we’re here, there isn’t much his trees miss.”
“And they tell him?” He asked sceptically.
“Apparently.”
“Do you believe that?”
“Mr Garth seems to, and there is very little that happens around his trees he doesn’t know about.”
“Talking trees.” Mumbled Lee as they walked over toward a big tree.
“Being a student of nature, Two-Refs, I’m constantly amazed at her ingenuity and versatility, nothing she does would surprise me. Good morning, Mr Garth.”
“Eh? What?” Came the testy voice of Garth who got up from the ground where he had been laying while he inspected the roots. “Oh, it’s you, is it? I was hoping I’d run into you.”
“Were you?”
“You’ve been scratching the roots of my lads.”
“Have I?”
“Don’t try to deny it, old Jack told me it was you, you’ve been at Willie and Jock and Cicero.”
“Old Jack?” Asked Lee of Marlowe.
“This is old Jack.” He pointed to the tree in front of him. “I’m sorry, Mr Garth, old Jack must be mistaken.”
“Old Jack is never mistaken, if he said you did it, then you must have done it, Willie said so too. These lads are trees, Mr Marlowe, not damn scratching posts.”
“Let me assure you, Mr Garth, nothing on earth would induce me to harm your lads.”
“A likely story.” Garth knelt down to look at something, “That doesn’t help old Jack’s roots here where you’ve torn them to pieces.”
“Let me have a look.” Lee said stepping from behind Marlow coming into view for the first time and going over to look.
“Who’s that?” Asked Garth angrily as he squinted up, when he got a look at who it was he jumped up quickly, he looked at Lee with narrowed eyes and then shot a glance above his head instinctively as if he expected a branch to fall. He stepped out into a clearing quickly.
“There’s not much damage.” Lee said.
“You’d say different if your flesh was hanging from your foot.”
“This was done by an animal,” said Lee, “a small animal with claws.”
“That’s right, that’s right. See Mr Marlowe, you stand condemned by the evidence.”
Marlowe came over to take a look. “A cat most probably.” He said.
“Ruddy little beasts, tearing at my poor lads like that.”
“Not much harm done.” Said Marlowe.
“That’s easy enough for you to say, there’s poor old Jack wailing his heart out with a torn foot and you say not much harm done.”
“Old Jack seems steady enough to me.” Said Lee as he stepped up to the trunk of the tree and gave it a shake or two.
“That’s right,” snapped Garth, “Shake the life out of him.”
“He seems as firm as…..as…..”
“As an oak?” Put in Marlowe.
“Yeah, as an oak.” Smiled Lee.
“It’s not enough some beast rips at his foot and some great bear tries to tear him out by the roots, he has to be the butt of weak jokes.”
“I thought it was most apt, Mr Garth.” Said Marlowe.
“Well, you would, wouldn’t you? Go on, on your way before you do more damage.”
“Good morning, Mr Garth.”
“Good morning.” Said Lee as they walked back to the road.
“Good morning, good morning.” Said Garth impatiently as he ran over to the trunk of old Jack.“You alright, lad? Did the oaf hurt your tired old bones?” He patted the trunk and shook a clenched fist at the disappearing Lee.
The shaking had had some effect on old Jack and a branch dislodged itself from above to drop on the head of the angry man.
“What was that?” Asked Lee as he looked back.
“I heard nothing, old chap.”
“Where’s Garth?”
“Don’t worry about him, he’s probably bathing old Jack’s foot.” Smiled Marlowe.
“Yeah, yeah, he probably is.”
Once they reached the road, Marlowe waved goodbye and went off into the trees while Lee began his run back to the house.
Everybody was just settling down to a hearty breakfast. Lady Marlebone had craftily manoeuvred Cynthia to sit next to Winterhaiming where they both ate in silence, Clarence sat nursing a fresh bump on his head as he sipped his tea.
Sir Rupert and Haddington sat laughing loudly as they listened to the fund of stories told by Cloud.
“Not too much for you, Two-Refs.” Ordered Cloud as Lee began to help himself from large plates of food on the sideboard. He sat next to Cloud and started to go to work on a plate of sausages, eggs and bacon.“……. to the chin, and down he went.” Continued Cloud.
“Dear me, dear me, was he injured?” Asked Rupert.
“Who?”
“The spectator, the chap who jumped in the ring, the spectator chappie?”
“Not a scratch on him, a grin all over his face, holding his hands in the air as if he’d won.”
“Well, he had won, hadn’t he, he won the blasted fight, pardon me ladies.”
“He did and he didn’t.”
“How could that be?” Asked Haddington.
“Well, it’s true he did knock out the champ, but the champ’s opponent came flying across the ring and knocked him right out of the building, took most of the roof with him.”
“Was he injured?”
“I don’t think so, but his neck was a good two inches longer.”
The two brothers had a good laugh over that.
“Physical violence is so vulgar, don’t you think so, Mr Winterhaiming?”Asked Lady Marlebone.
“I must confess I do find it rather tiresome.”
“My poor Cynthia would swoon at the very mention of such things, wouldn’t you, my dear?”
“Yes, mother.” She replied showing every sign of doing no such thing.
“I believe a gentleman can solve every problem by the use of his intellectual capacities rather than resorting to his fists.” Said Winterhaiming.
“Oh, I agree,” smiled Lady Marlebone, “we couldn’t agree more, could we, Cynthia?”
“No, mother.”
“Hmm.” Said Haddington winking at Cloud, “you must try it some time, my boy.” He was looking down at Winterhaiming when he’d finished.
“Try what, your Lordship?” Asked Winterhaiming in surprise.
“The jam, my boy, at your elbow there, simply delicious.”
“Thank you, I shall.”
“There’s nothing wrong with boxing.” Said Lee between a mouthful of food, “it’s a good, clean, manly sport.”
“It’s crude and tiresome.”
“There ain’t nothing more edifyin’,” said Cloud seriously, “then watching two giants of the ring knocking each other’s brains out.”
“And being thankful you’re not one of them,” smiled Sir Rupert, “not one of them, you’d be very thankful, thankful indeed.”
“You got a point, Rupert, you got a point.” Said Cloud and they all had to laugh.
“It’s a disgusting, cruel and vicious waste of human life.” Said Cynthia determinedly.
There was a shocked silence.
“I say.” Said Sir Rupert.
“Did that come from Cynthia, our Cynthia?” Asked Haddington in surprise.
“Cynthia!”
Lady Marlebone turned pale as she looked intently at her daughter, who dropped her head to look down into her cup of tea. “You will apologise at once, whatever will these gentlemen think of you,” she looked at Winterhaiming, “she’s not really like this, it’s the vitamins our doctor’s been giving her, they’ve unhinged her mind.”
“I do hope there’s not going to be a family squabble,” Winterhaiming stifled a yawn, “family squabbles are so tiresome.”
“I have no idea where she picks these things up,” said a glum Lady Marlebone, “she’s normally the best of daughters, the apple of her father’s eye.”
“When women have opinions you’re heading for trouble.” Said Cloud.
“Exactly, old chap.” Agreed Haddington.
“There ain’t nothing wrong with anybody having an opinion,” said Lee, “you got an opinion, Cynthia, you speak up.”She lifted her head slightly and smiled shyly and for the first time he realised she was really quite pretty.
“There are opinions and there are opinions,” said Cloud, “men should hold ‘em, mainly because they’re usually right, but what do women know about sport?”
“Quite right.” Said Haddington and Sir Rupert nodded in agreement. “I ain’t met a woman yet who knows what sport is all about, let alone boxing….them ancient Greeks they boxed.”
“That is absolutely so.” Said Haddington.
“It didn’t do them no harm, did it?”
“Is there any Greek empire today?” Asked Cynthia suddenly.
“What, what……..” Spluttered Haddington.
“It’s still there, ain’t it? I was talking to Nick the Greek in Chicago last month and he came from Greece, so it must be still there.”
“Well done, sir, well done.” Smiled Sir Rupert, “spot on.”
“Cynthia, not another word.”
“Yes, mother.”
“Go to your room at once and compose yourself.”
“Yes, mother.”
She got to her feet and the gentlemen rose as she left the room.
“I can’t understand what’s getting into her, too much time on her hands.”Said Lady Marlebone.
“Idleness is so tiresome.”
“Oh, I agree, Mr Winterhaiming, I agree, what she needs is a family of her own and she’ll be the wonderful daughter she’s always been.” She said softly watching the bored face of Winterhaiming.
“Would you believe it?” Smiled Haddington, “the lad who marries that little lady will have quite a task on his hands, I had no idea she had such spirit,”
“Well, I for one pity the poor fellow who chains himself to that one,” said Cloud, “she reminds me too much of my wife.”
“Is your wife with you in England, Mr Cloud?” Asked Sir Rupert.
“God was kind to me, Rupert, he took her some years ago.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.”
“She’s not dead, she ran away with the iceman, I hated the character until then”
They all had a good laugh, even Haddington who smiled broadly but only Lee noticed the smile didn’t reach his eyes.
After breakfast Sir Rupert got the two ladies and Winterhaiming to join him in a game of bridge, Clarence slept with a paper on his lap. Lee and Cloud sat outside on the chairs with their feet up on the table both apparently asleep.
Haddington wondered among the trees with Garth trotting at his heels.
“You’ve done an excellent job.”
“I’d do a lot better if Sir Rupert would keep to the house when he’s here, he upsets my lads.” He said testily.
“Yes, I can understand their being upset.”
“Don’t like him, my lads don’t like him. Him and that Yankee.”
“Cloud?”
“Where?” Garth looked into the sky.
“Were you referring to Mr Cloud, my guest?”
“Oh, him, no, the other one, the one who punches things.”
“Mr Lee.”
“Him.”
“I’m sure if you tell your…….lads to keep away from him they’ll be alright.”
“It’s him, Your Lordship, he goes looking for them.”
“Does he?”
“Seeks ‘em out, you might say, and thumps the life out of ‘em.”
“I’m sure he doesn’t mean to.”
“Upsetting them something terrible he is, I don’t like their muttering,” he was beginning to whine a little, “they’re talking revolution, Your Lordship, they’re talking revolution.”
“Well, we shall just have to live with it, I’m afraid, Mr Garth.”
“Let me chuck him out of your house, Your Lordship, off your land, I should like that.”
“You? By yourself?”
“No, no, me and the lads.”
“You and the lads?”
“Yes.”
“I shall make you this promise, Mr Garth, if the need should ever arise that Mr Lee has to be ejected from my house, I shall call upon you and your lads.”
“Oh, good.” He danced a little jig of pleasure, “good.”
Haddington walked away shaking his head and muttering about revolution. “You hear that, Rupert,” Garth ran over to a tree, “revenge, lad.” A branch came dropping down to just miss him, “not yet, you clot.” He walked over to give the tree a kick, “you drop any arms on me and I’ll cut the lot off.” He stared up in defiance, “that’s better.” He turned to walk away and another branch suddenly fell in front of him and tripped him over.
“I’m going for a ride into the village, Two-Refs, would you and Smokey care to join me?” Asked Haddington as he walked over to them.
“Yeah, thanks.” He reached over to give Cloud a nudge, but he pushed too hard and Cloud fell out of his chair and rolled on the grass, he jumped to his feet still half asleep.
“Get the tree, Two-Refs, get it.” He stood with raised fists and blinked his eyes. “Where am I?”
“You got trees on the mind, Smoke.” Smiled Lee.
“Eh? Oh, yeah, yeah.” He scratched his head.
“Lord Haddington is going into the village for a visit, he asked us to come along, if we like.”
“That right, Clem? Good idea, thanks, Clem.”
“My pleasure. The carriage should be ready by now.” He led them to the front of the house and an open carriage stood waiting for them complete with driver and footman.
“The last time I saw a get-up like that a Governor was in it.” Smiled Cloud beaming with admiration.
Clarence came down the front steps quickly to join them, they stood at the open door as Haddington stepped up, he stumbled on the step and stepped back, to land on one of Clarence’s feet.
“Good Lord, Clarence, why must you continually get in people’s way?”
“Sorry, Your Lordship.” He grimaced.
Haddington got in followed by Clarence and Cloud.
“I’ll fix this, pal.” Said Lee to the footman holding the door.
“Oh, no, sir…” Lee grabbed at the door.
“You go on with what you’ve got to do, I’ll take it.”
“No, sir….”
“Humour him.” Ordered Clarence of the footman.
“Very well, sir.”
“There ain’t nothing to it.” He closed the door quickly just for practice, there was a yelp from Clarence.
“Something wrong?”
“Just open the door.” Said Clarence with another grimace.
“Clarence,” said Haddington, “how in the name of Heaven did you get your hand caught there?”
“I’m not sure, Your Lordship, I just wasn’t watching.”
“I know that,” he turned to Cloud, “he just fills me with amazement.”
“You said it, Clem.”
“This clumsiness has got to stop.”
“Yes, Your Lordship.”
Lee opened the door, climbed in and closed the door, he walked to his seat, managing to step on Clarence’s other foot.
“Sorry, pal.”
“Think n
othing of it, I’m growing rather fond of pain.”
“Yeah, sure.”
“Do stop complaining, Clarence. Rogers let’s be off.”
“Very good, Your Lordship.” The driver whipped up the horses. Lee leaned forward to whisper to Cloud who sat opposite him with Haddington.
“Hear that, Smoke, fond of pain, we’ve got a queer egg here.”
“Shh.”Whispered Cloud.
Lee sat back and smiled at Haddington who was chatting away about the sights of the village.
* * * * *