A centaur stallion trotted up, followed by a filly with the usual ample bare breasts. The Dastard had to fight his eyeballs' inclination to stare. This wasn't a human creature, after all. "I am Cesar Centaur," the male said. "How may we be of service?"
"You can show us around," the princess said. "We're thinking of joining the community."
She was right: She lied well.
The filly clapped her hands. "Wonderful!" she said generously. "I am Charity Centaur. I will help."
Actually the Dastard didn't want to meet a whole lot of villagers. He wanted to find out how this community had started, so he could figure out how to unhappen it. This promised to be a boring session.
"Here is Ann Chovie," Cesar said, indicating a merwoman reclining at the edge of the water. She lifted a hand to wave languidly. She had herringbone stripes along her sides. "And her husband Strate." A demon appeared.
"But he's a demon!" Becka protested.
"Of course," Charity said. "All our couples are mixed. It is the way of Fellowship."
"But I thought you--Cesar--"
"We are siblings, not spouses," Cesar said. "My wife is Glitter Goblin." He indicated a pretty goblin girl who approached, smiling.
"And my husband is Naro Naga," Charity said, indicating a naga man who slithered up.
"Oh--you mean there's a love spring here," Becka said.
"No love spring," Cesar said. "Just good fellowship."
"But this is amazing," the princess said, pretending to be amazed. "Do you mean to say that if we settled here, we would have to marry others not of our own species?"
"You wouldn't have to," Charity said. "But we hope you would want to. It preserves amity."
"It's weird," Becka muttered, and for once the Dastard agreed with her.
But maybe now was his chance. "How did this come about?" he asked.
"That is Ann's story," Cesar said.
They oriented on the merwoman. She was much like a mermaid, except that she was of course a saltwater creature, a bit firmer in the tail and generous in the bosom, to handle the rougher tides of the sea. "If you are really interested," she said.
"We are," the Dastard said. With luck this would give him the key to the community.
"Well, I was swimming alone, exploring the inlets of the sea," Ann said. "I found a rather interesting island I hadn't seen before. In fact it was this one; we hadn't named it then. I followed an inlet inward as far as I could, trying to see more, because I am not one of those merfolk who can change their tails into legs. Then the tide reversed, and I found myself stranded; I couldn't return the way I had come, and was in danger of getting beached. That would have been a horrible fate."
"I thought all mermaids could make legs," Becka said.
"No, no mermaids I know of," Ann said. "And only some merwomen. I'm not sure what the rule is. Anyway, as I said, I'm not one. I would have had to try to crawl over land, and it would have scratched my tail awfully. I would have trouble breathing, too; I need the support of the water to function properly. There's a fair amount of weight on my chest; it needs uplifting. So there I was, trapped in a diminishing pool, when suddenly a demon appeared." She looked around expectantly.
Demon Strate had faded out. Now he reappeared. "Aha!" he cried. "A helpless but generously endowed mergirl!"
"Eeeeek, a demon!" Ann screamed. "Whatever do you want with me?"
"I am about to demon-strate that," the demon said, ogling the exposed endowments.
Cesar Centaur inserted a comment: "The mergirl began to suspect that the demon was up to no particular good. But she had no experience with evil, and less with males, so she tried to put the best face on the situation."
Ann looked a bit worried, but was naturally too innocent to know what she might be worried about. "Can you help me get back to the sea, so I can swim merrily away?"
"I can, but I won't," Strate said, rubbing his hands together. "Instead, I shall ravish you cruelly and throw you away, seeing that you are unable to escape."
Charity Centaur put in her comment. "Now she was almost sure that the demon was planning mischief. But she was not a dull girl, so she tried to find a way to improve things."
Ann cocked her head, trying. But Strate gave her no time to ponder. He grabbed her by the shoulders and hauled her onto the bank, where her tail had no purchase. "Now it is time for you to scream helplessly and struggle ineffectively," he said. "I don't like cold fish."
"But that small delay give Ann time to think of something," Cesar Centaur said.
"You're a demon," Ann said. "You must have had endless experience with women. Don't you find it rather boring?"
"Boring?" Strate asked, perplexed.
"Doing the same thing over and over," she said. "Don't you long for something truly different? Wouldn't that be more interesting?"
"I never thought of it," the demon said, surprised. "But now that you mention it, it does seem dull. Their screams are so similar. But what else is there?"
"Why not try something truly different?" Ann asked "Something no demon has done before. Something no unsouled demon would even think of doing."
"I can't think what you mean."
"Precisely. Why not try being decent?"
"Decent?" Strate asked blankly.
"Such as treating mortal folk with respect and kindness. Helping them instead of hindering them. Being nice."
"That would be different," Strate agreed, confused. "But if I were nice to you, I wouldn't ravish you, and that would be frustrating."
Charity Centaur interjected another comment. "Ann realized that this was not necessarily simple. She would have to give the demon something for his trouble."
"Well, maybe you should try to charm me into liking you. Then you wouldn't have to ravish me. I would give you what you wanted willingly. Whatever it is."
Cesar Centaur stepped in again. "Demon Strate thought about that. He had never encountered a willing female. He hadn't realized that such a thing was possible. All the demon females were endless teases, and all the non-demon females hated being ravished. So he tried being nice to her, and to his amazement, she was nice to him in return. Very nice. It was interesting and fun. One thing led to another, and now they are married, and have a son."
A small swirl of smoke appeared. It coalesced into a little merboy. "That's my cue!" he said, splashing the water with his tail.
"And after that," Charity continued, "they named the island the Isle of Fellowship, and encouraged others to try inter-species cooperation. A number of others were interested, and so an experimental community developed. It is still growing; every month more folk hear about it, and some come to see, and a few remain. There's Charnel Centaur with Merla Merwoman, and Gizmo Goblin with Nancy Naga, and--"
"I get it," the Dastard said. "Everybody gets along, because Ann Chovie had the big idea of getting along instead of getting ravished. I think I've heard enough." This was certainly well worth unhappening; he could change the lives of dozens of folk with a single unhappening. It would be a record!
Becka tugged at his elbow. "Um, Dashing," she murmured. "Not yet."
He looked at her, annoyed. "Why not?"
"Because you can't unhappen an unhappening. If you do this one now--"
"Shut up, girl!" the princess snapped.
But she had said enough. If he unhappened the Isle of Fellowship community now, he would not be able to unhappen the Sea Hag's Possession of the princess. Because that would overlap this one. The Hag would be locked in, and he would be unable to get rid of her. It was evident that the Hag knew this. She must have learned it when she Possessed the dragon girl. That meant that she did remember some of it, despite being unhappened. That made her doubly dangerous.
But if he unhappened the entire Possession now, including their isle experience, he and Becka would retain their memories of this island, though they would never actually have visited it, and would be able to return to unhappen it later. So he could have it all--in the right order. The girl had saved him a drea
dful tactical mistake.
He turned to the princess.
"Wait!" she cried. "You obviously know, but there's an aspect you haven't considered."
"What's going on?" Cesar asked, understandably confused by their dialogue.
They ignored him. "Don't let her stall you," Becka said. "She's dangerous. She threatened to Possess me again if I told you."
"And I will, you disobedient twerp!" the princess raged. "I was going to get rid of you by dumping you somewhere without food, but it's no more Miz Nice Guy."
"I don't think so, Hag," Becka said. "I ate one of the herbs, so I'll still be protected if you snatch the others. And if you try, I'll chomp you something awful. But not quite enough to kill you, so you can't escape that way."
The princess paused. Then her rage seemed to melt away. She was good at hiding her feelings. She returned to the Dastard, smiling prettily. "Let's make a deal. I have shown you what great things I can do for you. I can do much more. I can give you all the joys of this young healthy royal body. I can make you the husband of a genuine princess. But only if I keep this body."
"Don't listen to her!" Becka cried. "You can't trust her!"
"Yes you can," the princess said. "You can trust me to do what's best for me. And what's best is to have the body of a princess, and to be assured that no one can take it away from me. And so it will pay me to give you what you desire. We can give each other what we each most want. We don't have to like each other, or even to trust each other personally. We just each have to know that the other benefits most by continued association. Neither of us cares half a whit about anybody else. Self interest. That never lets a person down."
She was talking his language. He had never considered making a liaison with the Sea Hag, but it would solve the problem of making contact with the lovely princess. It would solve many problems. Did their best interests really coincide? It almost seemed that they did.
"She'll kill you in your sleep," Becka warned.
The Dastard wavered. The Sea Hag already had the body of the princess, and might simply want to lull him until she could dispatch him.
"Here is the rationale," the princess said. "This body is here temporarily from Planet Ptero. The regular Princess Melody is only four years old. The two exchanged worlds--so as to get you. But working together, we can perhaps keep her here, and eliminate the other two princesses of this trinity, and in time make Melody the only heir to the throne, so that eventually she will become King of Xanth. Then we will have all power! I can't do it alone; I need you to unhappen adverse events as they occur. Only you can do that. With you, I can achieve ultimate power; without you I can't. All my life I have wanted to rule Xanth; this is my best chance yet. So I'm not going to do anything to hurt you. In fact I'll do everything in my power, which is considerable, to make you surpassingly happy you associate with me."
She was making more sense than ever. He did want to marry a princess, and to be recognized as a great man. She could give him that. Still, inside that lovely young body was an ugly old mind. That daunted him.
"Beginning immediately," the princess said, and lifted her skirt almost to panty height. Several of the Isle males almost freaked out. "I know tricks no princess ever dreamed of. I have no scruples. In fact I rather like a good inter-gender tussle. Try it day by day, and if I don't completely satisfy you, you can still unhappen me."
That decided him. "Okay," he said. "It's a deal."
"This is a disaster!" Becka cried. But both of them ignored her. They moved together for an embrace.
It was a fitting partnership, because neither of them were inhibited by conscience. The Land of Xanth would never be the same.
Chapter 11
FOR THE BIRDS
Sim woke as Princess Melody stirred. He was a bird; his senses were sharp. He realized that she probably had to indulge in a natural function, which among human beings, especially females, was considered a private thing. In fact they seemed to prefer to pretend that they had none. She had been unsteady the day before, perhaps slightly ill; her digestion could be upset. So the others had encouraged her to rest, and she had retired to their magic tent early while they puttered about doing incidental chores. The three princesses had marvelous powers, but they weren't used to camping out in Xanth, where the rules of time, geography, and magic were different from what they were accustomed to. So there had been details to attend to. Sim had helped.
Now it was night, and Harmony and Rhythm were asleep. They knew that if anything approached, Sim would be aware, so they slept easy. By the same token, he was aware if anything departed. He gave no sign; Melody would be embarrassed if she thought she was disturbing anyone.
The princess made her way quietly outside. But she did not go to the area they had designated as a privy. She continued down the path, away from the tent. What was she up to?
When it was evident that Princess Melody was actually leaving the company of her sisters, Sim knew something was amiss. This was not like her; the three were always together, in speech and body and spirit. She would not ordinarily leave without telling the others. She had not told them; Sim would have heard. So her mysterious mission was secret.
Could it be some kind of game? The princesses loved games. But they never deceived each other. Something must be wrong.
So Sim followed her quietly. He was as large as a roc, but few folk realized how quiet big birds could be when they chose. He set each foot down just so, and made no noise. He was invisible, so his silence made him largely undetectable. Princess Melody could detect him, of course, if she wished, but she seemed distracted.
In fact, she hardly seemed like herself Sim knew the trifling individual mannerisms of the three girls, and Melody was not evincing hers. It was almost as if a different person were controlling her body.
That was of course ridiculous. Still, she evidently had some kind of problem, and he felt it prudent to keep an eye on her, in case he could help. He continued to follow her, silently.
Once she was well clear of the camp, Princess Melody stepped off the path, found a flame vine, and used its light to facilitate faster progress. "Now we're getting somewhere, my pet," she said, speaking to herself.
My pet? Melody had never used that term before, that he knew of. Sim had an extraordinary memory, because his mother expected him to learn everything about everything so as to become the most knowledgeable bird in the universe. Then, building on that foundation, he would have to commence the hard part: becoming the wisest bird. So he had a eye-detic memory, and an ear-detic memory, and knew exactly what he had ever seen or heard. And the only time he had heard that phrase used was by the Sea Hag.
An awful chill passed through him, that no feathers could shield against. Could it be? The Sea Hag's evil spirit took over the bodies of the pretty girls and soon rendered them into ugly women. But she was supposed to be presently confined in the Brain Coral's pool. So surely she could not be on the loose.
Meanwhile the princess was walking rapidly onward, and still talking to herself. "You are foolish, my pet. You cannot abolish me, and your continued resistance merely makes me retaliate by hurting you. You would do better to cease this quarrel and go with the flow. I will make your body do splendidly revolting things that you should find interesting. So relax and enjoy it, since you have no choice. Do not aggravate me by futile opposition."
Sim was appalled. It was true! The Sea Hag had taken Princess Melody's body. This was completely unanticipated mischief. He knew of no way but death to free a person of the Hag's Possession, and of course he couldn't kill Melody.
Could the other two princesses do it? They had, collectively, the strongest magic in Xanth. Each by herself was a minimal Sorceress, and two of them together could do things only a maximal Sorceress could, but the three acting in concert could do virtually anything they might put their minds to. So the three together could surely defeat the Sea Hag. But what about two of them--when the third was captive of the Hag?
Sim put his fine min
d to work on it, calculating the variables, and concluded that the other two could, just barely, accomplish it. They could drive out the Hag without killing their sister. He would return and tell them that, and they would handle it immediately. But first he had to know exactly where the Hag was going, so they could find her promptly without alerting her.
But the news got worse. The princess went to a hidden bower that the Hag must have prepared at another time, and proceeded to make herself look quite pretty in a rather cheap, exposive way. She came to look like a princess, complete with crown, instead of an anonymous young woman, but with a very tight blouse and short skirt. Then, as dawn came, she set out in a new direction. He followed, because otherwise he could lose her. The moment he knew what she would be doing, he could return to the others and acquaint them with the problem.
And the Sea Hag intercepted the Dastard. She was joining forces with him! The one they had come to nullify.
Sim recalculated. This time the result was negative: The two remaining Princesses could not oust the Hag from their sister, when the Hag had the support of the Dastard. The best they could do was stop the pair from performing more mischief, for the moment. The case had become hopeless.
He flew immediately back. Harmony and Rhythm were looking around, perplexed by the absence of two members of their party. They had not yet used magic, because they assumed it was nothing of consequence. They were nice girls, which meant they were slow to suspect evil. He had been slow too, but he had seen what he had seen.
He landed and squawked out his awful news. They were of course horrified. "We must act immediately," Harmony said.
Then he delivered the worse news: they lacked the power to free Melody without seriously hurting or even killing her, because the Dastard would unhappen anything they tried to do to oust the Sea Hag. The two had made a truly dastardly deal.
They were girlishly crushed. They had seldom before been at a loss, because their magic had always been more than sufficient to get them out of trouble. But they had never before encountered mischief of this magnitude.