I moved my eyes slowly from the satin box in my hand up to her face. I focused on the bridge of her nose and tried to keep myself from looking away. She made it a little easier by staring at the box in my hand instead of at me. Her eyes were bright and glistened with unshed tears.
I watched her mouth open and close a couple of times, and her hesitation was almost long enough to make me get up and run from the room, but I wouldn’t do that. I wouldn’t back down from this, and I wouldn’t second-guess or hesitate.
This was a decision I wanted to make.
It was the most important decision of my life.
“Yes,” she said softly and simply.
“Oh, good.” I breathed in relief.
I stood up, and Mayra threw her arms around my neck, openly crying against my shoulder. My arms wrapped around her middle, and I held her tightly against my chest.
“That’s better.”
Mayra and I both turned at the sound of Megan’s voice. She wasn’t quite looking at us, but her head was turned in the right direction.
“Much better than a watch.”
I laughed, Mayra grinned, and Megan went back to counting the clocks on the tree.
“I love you,” I whispered in Mayra’s ear. “I will always love you.”
“I love you, too, Matthew.”
Like my dad always said—you win at some things in life, and you lose at others. Before Mayra, I’d been satisfied just trying to keep a balance. Now I felt like there was no way I could lose as long as she was with me.
Had I lost anything of value when I gave away almost all of that money? No, not really. I had Mayra. I had love and peace. As far as I was concerned, I had won.
~The End~
Author’s Notes
Hey there! Thanks so much for joining me on this journey of young love and acceptance. I hope you have enjoyed it! So many of my friends have been touched by children on the autism spectrum, and I hope the character of Matthew has done the disorder some justice.
If you want to understand more about autism, I highly recommend a book called The Reason I Jump by Naoki Higashida. The book is non-fiction and written by a teenager with autism. I found it quite enlightening!
Until next time!
Much love,
Shay Savage
More Books by Shay Savage
Evan Arden Series:
Otherwise Alone
Former Marine Lieutenant Evan Arden sits in a shack in the middle of nowhere, waiting for orders that will send him back home—if he ever gets them. Other than his loyal Great Pyrenees, there's no one around to break up the monotony. The heat is unbearable, but he makes do with the little he has. He’s accustomed to harsh conditions and simply exists as best he can. The tedium is excruciating, but it is suddenly interrupted when a young woman stumbles up his path.
She’s lost; she’s cute, and he can’t resist the temptation of luring her into his bed. Why not? It’s been ages, and he is Otherwise Alone.
Otherwise Occupied
Evan Arden is a hit man for a Chicago mob boss and moves through life with darkness in his soul and a gun in his hand. Those who know him for what he is fear him, and those who find out the hard way never get a chance to tell anyone else. The few people who get a glimpse inside his head wish they never had. A merciless killer, his only loyalty resides with his employer, the man who calls the shots that rain from Evan’s weapon.
As a POW of the Gulf War, Evan spent months in captivity, and the memories of his confinement combine with thoughts of the woman he left in Arizona. He lives his life day-to-day with little more than the company of his dog, Odin. As insomnia overtakes him, he seeks comfort from an unlikely source, but will confiding in her be his undoing?
He’s struggling to forget his past and to keep himself Otherwise Occupied.
Otherwise Unharmed
After Evan Arden was imprisoned by the enemy for a year and a half, he returned from the desert as a military hero. He’d suffered some minor injuries during his captivity, was discharged from the Marines with a touch of shellshock, but was considered otherwise unharmed. Now he wonders how he ended up where he is—incarcerated in Chicago’s Metropolitan Correctional Center for using his sharpshooting expertise to take out the neighborhood park with a high-powered sniper rifle and multiple rounds of ammunition.
Lia Antonio, the woman he rescued from the desert heat the previous year, is the only person who can bring him out of his sleep-deprived psychosis and mounting PTSD. When she does, Evan knows he can’t just let her go again. He’s never considered leaving the business before—who retires from the mafia?—but he’s determined to get both Lia and himself out of harm’s way.
Evan faces overwhelming forces from multiple directions as a deal to get him out of jail turns more dangerous than he imagined. With a mob war on the horizon and the feds holding evidence over his head, Evan has no choice but to throw himself into the middle of another warzone.
In his efforts to make things right, Evan crosses the wrong man and finds himself on the business end of the crosshairs. With his acute perception and intelligence, he tries to stay a step ahead of his former co-workers, but this time, it isn’t just his own life on the line—he’s got to protect Lia from the man who once called him son.
Isolated
Improvise, Adapt, and Overcome. The mantra is good enough for the Marines; it’s good enough for me. Improvise . . . Near the top of the world, I fight for my life against my opponent, Sebastian Stark. He has the upper hand in strength, but I have the cunning to turn the tables on him. I battle the elements, my demons, and him until Stark and I manage to strike a deal to ensure freedom for us both—and the women we love.
Adapt . . . Being alone comes naturally to me. I’ve spent most of my life alone. Sharing my experiences, opening up to another human being, developing a relationship—all these things are foreign to me. Sometimes I wonder if it’s even meant to be.
Overcome . . . I’ve been away from Lia for far too long, yet I still have commitments I must keep. When I make my way home, I will tell her I have decided to end the life I have led and move on to become the man she needs. I can overcome my demons; I must. But will Lia be willing to wait?
Irrevocable
Have you ever made a mistake?
A big one?
I’m back in Chicago and back in business with my boss, Rinaldo Moretti. So much for my run at a normal life. There are some new faces in the organization, and someone’s been cooking the books. Personally? I think they’re after more than a just little cash. If I have any hopes of flushing out the traitor, I’m going to need to find a good hooker to help me sleep at night.
As the bodies pile up, I find solace in Alina. There’s something about her, something different. She understands me without asking a lot of questions. It’s as if she’s known me for years, yet we’ve only just met. If I weren’t so distracted by business, I’d try to figure out her story. She’s the only one keeping me grounded as my world spins out of control.
I’m going to lose the one man who has ever meant anything to me – the only man to ever call me son. I want to deny his request, but there is no avoiding what awaits me. I never wanted any of this, but I’m out of options, and time is running out.
Some choices have unforeseen consequences, and some choices are simply irrevocable.
Uncockblockable
Nick Wolfe is famous in Chicago—or is that infamous? He’s not only known as the illegitimate son of Mafia boss Rinaldo Moretti, but also as an unstoppable ladies’ man. He always seems to get the girl in the end, even when everyone around tries to plot against him. He’s a party guy, doesn’t work, and spends all his time picking up women and making notches on his headboard. He's the ultimate ladies’ man...or is that man-whore? However, his days of infamy come to a startling halt when he meets her, and she turns the tables on him.
Surviving the Storm Series:
Surviving Raine
As the captain of a schooner cater
ing to the elite on the Caribbean Seas, Sebastian Stark does his best to avoid any human encounters. Interacting with people isn’t his thing, and he prefers the company of a bottle of vodka, a shot glass, and maybe a whore. There’s no doubt he’s hiding from a checkered past, but he does well keeping everything to himself…
…until the night his schooner capsizes, and he’s stuck on a life raft with one of the passengers.
Raine’s young, she’s cute, and Bastian would probably be into her if he wasn’t suffering from alcohol withdrawal. As the days pass, DTs, starvation, and dehydration become the norm. Even the most closed person starts to open up when he thinks he’s going to die, but when she realizes their traumatic pasts are connected, it’s no longer the elements that have Bastian concerned.
He has no idea how he’s going to Survive Raine.
Bastian’s Storm
Sebastian Stark just isn’t cut out for normal life with a girlfriend in the hot and humid city of Miami. All in all, he’d rather be back on the island where it was just the two of them, and he could keep everything in balance. The bar down the street tempts him daily, but he’s determined to remain strong. Adjusting to normal life is difficult, but Bastian is doing his best to keep himself together and the nightmares away. Raine’s happy, and that’s what matters to him the most.
But not all nightmares can be driven away.
When Bastian’s former mentor comes into the picture and presents him with an ultimatum, Bastian slips into old habits. Though he wants to shield Raine from the truth, the shady circumstances of his past form into a hurricane he can’t control. In an effort to protect her, Bastian has no choice but to throw himself back into his old job—death match tournaments—just one last time.
Dropped into the arctic wilderness with weapons loaded, Bastian has to compete against representatives of major crime lords from all over the States. He’s studied his competition; he knows their weaknesses, and he’s ready to battle for the woman he loves. There’s only one opponent in the mix that causes him any concern. In order to guarantee Raine’s safety, Bastian will be pitted against the key hit man for Chicago’s largest mob family—a guy who’s known as one hell of a shot.
A guy named Evan Arden.
Unexpected Circumstances Series:
Book 1: The Handmaid
In a bold political move, Sir Branford claims a handmaid as his bride instead of the expected princess in an attempt to spark a war. Poor Alexandra knows little of how to behave as the wife of a future king and knows nothing of the man who is suddenly her husband.
Alexandra knows she is being used as a pawn and must do her best to avoid scheming noblewomen and the scorned princess, accept her position as her husband ascends to the throne, and overcome her fears of the man with whom she now shares a bed.
Sir Branford is determined to have it all – the kingdom, a wife of his choosing, and the revenge he seeks for the death of his father. He doesn’t expect the naïve handmaid to become more important than he ever could have foreseen.
Book 2: The Seduction
As Alexandra tries to conform to her new life, she soon discovers that betrayal lies inside the castle walls. When noblewomen plot against her, Alexandra ends up on the receiving end of Branford’s rage. Earning the trust of her wary husband will be no easy task for the young handmaid.
Branford may know his way around their bedchamber, but he’s finding himself ill-prepared to handle the duties of both prince and husband. His missteps bring down the wrath of the queen, and he will have to do everything in his power to atone for his transgressions. Branford must find a way to open his heart to his new wife if either of them has a chance of overcoming the treachery ahead.
Book 3: The Consummation
With steady patience, Sir Branford teaches his young wife the pleasures to be found in their marital chambers. Though still unsure of herself, Alexandra begins to open herself to the possibilities and opportunities of her new life. As Branford expresses his desire to have more than a marriage of political contrivance, Alexandra finds facets of her new husband that promise protection, loyalty, and maybe even love.
As she gains a deeper understanding of her husband, Alexandra soon discovers there is more to being Sir Branford’s wife than sharing his bed. Queen Sunniva had told her to be “noble of heart,” and when the lives of aristocrats rest in Alexandra’s hands, she finally begins to understand the importance of her position in the court and in her husband’s life. Soon, Branford begins to appreciate how valuable a gift Alexandra is to his kingdom.
Book 4: The Shortcoming
As the bond between Alexandra and Branford deepens, they each have their hopes for the future. Branford aspires to lead his kingdom with both wisdom and a firm hand while Alexandra fervently wishes to give her husband an heir. As Alexandra learns to embrace her noble role, she finds friendship with the girl she rescued from an abusive owner. It seems as though their lives have finally rewarded them with the happiness they have sought.
But happiness comes at a price, for war is on the horizon.
The neighboring kingdom of Hadebrand has amassed an army, and against insurmountable odds, Branford must lead the fight for his people. Alexandra is terrified but cannot let her fear show for she must serve as an example to their kingdom.
The war must eventually end, but there is only one thing on Branford’s mind—to continue the royal lineage. But how will Alexandra overcome her heartache when she can’t give her husband the one thing he must have?
Book 5: The Concubine
Royalty requires sacrifice.
As King Camden’s health declines, the need for an heir becomes crucial, impossible to ignore. With no other viable choice, Alexandra must stand stoically by when Hadley comes to the court of Silverhelm as Branford’s concubine. The queen’s edict of duty echoes through Alexandra’s mind as she accepts the loathsome conditions for the sake of the kingdom. The only person more devastated by the circumstances is Branford himself.
As Branford spurns Alexandra’s affections and King Edgar continues to press his post-war advantage, all seems lost to the young couple. Treachery still lies deep within the castle of Silverhelm, and the revelation of the traitor will come from the least likely of sources.
Book 6: The Apprehension
With two traitors removed from their midst, Branford and Alexandra rekindle their faith in one another. Branford insists on remaining at Alexandra’s side at all times to protect her as he rallies his allies against King Edgar and the kingdom of Hadebrand.
Alexandra’s grace and humility touch the hearts of the people of Silverhelm, and the couple is surrounded by the love of their people. When the long-awaited news of an heir on the way reaches the people of the kingdom, all rejoice along with their king and the commoner queen.
But treachery still lives in the hearts of those who wish to see the destruction of Silverhelm and they would be willing to cause Alexandra harm to achieve their goal. King Edgar still will not relent, but will his role in past events be exposed? Branford is not invincible, and despite his vows to keep his wife safe, Alexandra is still vulnerable. When the unthinkable happens, Branford may not be able to survive the loss.
Book 7: The Devastation
Although Branford is broken and desperate, he finds himself with no choice: He must declare war against Hadebrand, or Edgar’s evil darkness will envelop the commonwealth. Silverhelm’s army is grossly outnumbered, but Branford underestimates the people’s love for their commoner queen. The people rise up in support of their beloved regent, and Branford sees a glimmer of hope for his wife. He becomes more determined than ever to make up for his previous failures and secure the future of his kingdom.
With their murderous intentions, the treacherous King Edgar and Princess Whitney must pay for what they have done. They must not be allowed to destroy everything the people hold dear.
With but faint hope in his heart, Branford gathers his people and marches toward the castle in Hadebrand, gathering allies
along the way. With the support of other noble families, Branford will have to find the strength to fight for the very survival of his own family and the entire kingdom.
He sees only one path: the annihilation of his enemy.
Caged Trilogy
Takedown Teague
This is not made for TV. This is the raw, brutal underground of no-holds-barred combat. Inside the cage there is nothing but me and the pain I inflict on those who dare enter. In the cage, I never have to worry about anyone but myself. Yet, when she began standing outside of the cage, everything changed. I was no longer fighting for the money or the glory – I was fighting for her.
Trapped
Bizarre rituals on a remote island in Maine.
My crazy neighbor lying naked in the produce section of a grocery store.
The sting of a knife as it slices through my flesh.
Now I know why they say life is never easy.
The soft touch of Tria’s hand against my chest is the only thing that keeps me going, but there are consequences. As a fighter, I should be able to deal with anything life throws at me, but there is one circumstance I simply can’t handle.
I only have one coping mechanism—a tube around my arm and a needle in my vein.
Released
Oblivion is a sweet, sweet place.
No pain. No disturbing thoughts of the past. No guilt from my recent actions.
Deep down, there is still a part of me that knows how screwed up I am. I don’t see a way out, not now. Tria’s gone, and the possibility of her forgiving me in my current state is exactly zero. I know I have to pull myself together, accept my responsibilities, and try to make amends, but I have no idea where to start.
No job. No apartment. I’m living on the streets with the other junkies. As little as I had to offer Tria before, I have nothing to give her now. The only way out is to come clean and tell Tria the truth about my past, but the idea of reliving the memories is so painful, I can’t think about it long enough to figure out a solution.