Page 30 of Longing


  For as strong as Jim was, as focused as he could be on defensive schemes and play-breakers, and for as much football trivia as his brain somehow managed to draw from, he was also one of the most sentimental men ever. The tears in his eyes now reminded Jenny of the fact.

  “Anyway …” She felt the sadness in her smile. “I think … God is asking me to set the pen down. That He and Bailey should have the chance to write this story.”

  Jim nodded slowly, thinking for a long while about what she’d just said. “That seems fair.”

  “I mean …” She looked out the window again. It was snowing, but she could only see the stretch of sandy beach where an hour ago Brandon Paul stood up for her precious daughter. She turned back to Jim. “I like Brandon. I really do.”

  “He loves her.”

  “Yes.” She could hardly deny that much. Not now, especially. “He’s attentive, always. I look at pictures of the two of them and … well, seriously, he can’t take his eyes off her.”

  “So … you were the reason Bailey met with Cody the other day.” He raised his brow in her direction again. The way he might look at the kids when they’d forgotten to take out the trash.

  “Yes.” She felt the guilt in her expression. “I really thought it might be good for them.”

  “And was it?”

  “No. Everything went horribly wrong. He told her he didn’t think they were right for each other. Some crazy thing like that.” Her confession was overdue if she were honest with herself. Her heart had known all along that she’d made a mistake pushing for Bailey and Cody to be together. “Anyway, God’s been waiting for me to admit I was wrong. I should probably tell Bailey too.”

  “In time. She’s fine for now.” Jim wasn’t angry with her. He understood she only wanted the best for their kids. Especially Bailey, in this season of her life.

  “You forgot one other thing about Brandon.” Jim ran his hand along the side of her face. “As long as you’ve laid your pen down.”

  “Yes?” She smiled and a light bit of laughter came from her.

  It felt so good to be real with him, and to know that he loved her anyway.

  “He’s pursued her.”

  “I know, I know …” She looped her arms around her husband’s neck. “Like a dying man in the desert looking for water.”

  They both laughed and kissed and remembered a dozen more reasons why they still loved each other, still enjoyed the romance between them. And when they turned in that night Jenny was grateful for her time of confession. She would always love Cody, always care about him. But that didn’t mean he was the right guy for Bailey. Because she meant what she had said. For the rest of time, where Bailey’s story was concerned she would lay her pen down and do what she should’ve done a year ago.

  Let God be the Author.

  READER LETTER

  Dear Friends,

  As you know if you’ve followed the journey of Bailey Flanigan, not all stories take a direction we expect. For the first time since I started writing novels, I found the characters of this series bossing me around, dictating the next part of the plot and the authenticity of their decisions.

  From the beginning, I was Team Cody … the way so many of you are. And I can promise you, I still love Cody. But Brandon certainly has grown on me. He seems determined to grow in his faith and to prove to Bailey that his feelings aren’t shallow or fleeting. Of course, Bailey and Cody and Brandon will take this story to another level in the coming book: Loving — the final piece of the Bailey Flanigan Series.

  I hope along the way you’ve thought about what ways you long for God’s wisdom and the ways you long to connect with the people in your life. Our days should be marked with passion and concern, with a determination to make our lives and relationships the best they can be. If nothing else, I pray that walking alongside Bailey and Cody and Brandon has helped you feel strongly about that.

  As always, I look forward to your feedback. Take a minute and find me on Facebook! I’m there at least once a day—hanging out with you in my virtual living room, praying for you, and answering as many questions as possible. On Facebook I have Latte Time, where I’ll take a half hour or so, pour all of you a virtual latte, and take questions live and in person. A couple hundred thousand of us hang out and have a blast together, so come on over and be my friend on my Facebook Fan Page. You all are very special to me.

  Also visit my website at www.KarenKingsbury.com. There you can find my contact information and leave me a message on my guestbook. Remember, if you post something on my Facebook or my website it might help another reader. So thanks for stopping by. In addition, I love to hear how God is using these books in your life. He gets all credit, and He always will. He puts a story in my heart, but He has your face in mind.

  Only He could do that.

  Also on Facebook or my website you can check out my upcoming events, such as Women of Faith and others. You can find out about movies being made based on my books and become part of a community that agrees there is life-changing power in something as simple as a story. Post prayer requests on my website or read those already posted and pray for those in need. If you’d like, you may send in a photo of your loved one serving our country, or let us know of a fallen soldier we can honor on our Fallen Heroes page.

  When you’re finished with this book, pass it on to someone else. By doing so, you will automatically enter my “Shared a Book” contest. Email me at [email protected] and tell me the first name of the person you shared with, and you’ll be entered to win a library of signed books! In addition, everyone who is signed up for my monthly newsletter through my website is automatically entered into an ongoing once-a-month drawing for a free, signed copy of my latest novel.

  There are links on my website that will help you with matters that are important to you: faith and family, adoption and redemption. Of course, on my site you can also find out a little more about me, my faith and my family, the writing process, and the wonderful world of Life-Changing Fiction™.

  Also, follow me on Twitter! On Twitter I have an ongoing “Tweet a KK Quote” contest, where you can tweet a quote from one of my books. Be sure to include my Twitter name — @KarenKingsbury—and the book title. I retweet many of these throughout the week, and give away a signed book to a winner every Monday.

  Finally, if you gave your life over to God during the reading of this book, or if you found your way back to a faith you’d let grow cold, please know I’m praying for you. Tell me about your life change by sending me a letter to [email protected] Write, “New Life” in the subject line. If this is you, I encourage you to connect with a Bible-believing church in your area, pray for God’s leading, and start reading the Bible. But if you can’t afford one and don’t already have one, write “Bible” in the subject line. Tell me how God used this book to change your life, and then include your address in your email. My wonderful publisher Zondervan has supplied me with free paperback copies of the New Testament, so that if you are financially unable to find a Bible any other way, I can send you one. I’ll pay for shipping.

  One last thing. I will donate a book to any high school or middle school librarian who makes a request. Check out my website for details.

  Again, thanks for journeying with me through the pages of this book. I can’t wait to hear your feedback on Longing! Oh, and look for Bailey Flanigan’s final book — the fourth in the series — in stores in March. Until then, keep your eyes on the cross. And don’t forget to leave the lights on.

  In His light and love,

  Karen Kingsbury

  www.KarenKingsbury.com

  DISCUSSION QUESTIONS

  1. What team do you find yourself on with Bailey? Team Brandon or Team Cody? Why?

  2. Has your opinion changed during the Bailey Flanigan Series so far? Why or why not?

  3. Did you have a first love? What happened to him or her?

  4. Do people sometimes grow up in different directions? Explain this.

&n
bsp; 5. What did Bailey’s mom mean when she told Bailey that the right guy would pursue her like a dying man in the desert pursues water?

  6. Does Cody or Brandon pursue Bailey this way? Explain.

  7. What is Bailey longing for in this book? Explain.

  8. What is Brandon longing for in this book? Explain.

  9. What is Cody longing for in this book? Explain.

  10. Jenny Flanigan had somewhat of an agenda in Longing, in that she felt Cody was the right guy for Bailey. Have you ever tried to hold the pen in the story of your life or the life of someone you love? How did that work out?

  11. Cheyenne is a very wise character in this series. What were some of the revelations she experienced?

  12. Hard times were a regular part of Cheyenne’s life both before we met her in this series and up until the end of her story. How did Cheyenne deal with her hardships?

  13. How have you dealt with hardships in your life? What did you learn about suffering while reading this book?

  14. In Longing, Bailey quotes Romans 8:28 from the Bible. Look up that verse and write it out here. What did that verse mean to Bailey?

  15. What does that Bible verse mean to you? How have you seen the truth in that verse come alive in your journey?

  16. In her final days, what revelation did Cheyenne have for Cody?

  17. Do you think Cheyenne was right in her assessment of Cody’s feelings for Bailey? Why or why not?

  18. Landon’s announcement at the Baxter Family Christmas party brought much joy to Ashley. What was the announcement and why was it important?

  19. Have you ever experienced a change of career that happened against your will? How did God use that time to grow you?

  20. If you could write the ending to Bailey’s story, how would you write it? Explain.

  Read an excerpt from the final book

  in the Bailey Flanigan Series, Loving. Coming March 2012!

  Loving

  ALL BAILEY KNEW OF THE PART WAS THAT SHE WAS AN ENGLISH teacher, and two of the kids in her class were involved in a deadly drug ring. The movie was about gang violence and the love of a young teacher who thought she could change everything by teaching her students how to care for each other.

  Bailey was surprised they’d thought of her for the role. She was young, and she looked even younger. But when she’d met with Brandon’s agent, he had assured her she was perfect. “The teacher in this movie shouldn’t look that much older than the kids. It’s partly why they relate to her.”

  The script sides the producer had sent through the agent were two pages long. And that was only one of her key scenes — if she won the part. Now the audition was minutes away and Bailey was sitting in a sterile waiting room in a tenth floor office of one of the biggest studios in Hollywood. For as much as she hadn’t been sure she’d want to act in a mainstream movie like this one, her nerves told her how much she cared.

  In the time since she’d heard about the part, she’d practiced it and read it over and over for Brandon until now. Her heart was on the line. Once she was called into the room, she was no longer Bailey Flanigan. She was an English teacher ready to lay her life down to help her students stop fighting.

  She moved to the front of the room and introduced herself. At a table in the front was the producer, the director, and the casting director. Just three of them — but three of the most powerful people in the industry. Bailey put the thought of them out of her mind.

  I’m here for You, Jesus. If You want me to act, if You want me to have this part … then let them see that. Give me the words and the emotions and let me shine for You …

  With everything in her, she sensed Jesus at her side, filling her with strength and love and purpose. She started the monologue, and when the time came for a student to speak, the casting director provided the line. Bailey didn’t waver, didn’t hesitate. The performance she gave felt so real she was shaking by the time she finished.

  “Here.” The casting director smiled at her and handed her a tissue from a box on their table. “You might need this.”

  Only then did Bailey realize she’d been crying. The part called for it, but no director would’ve expected that level of emotion at an audition. Very simply, Bailey believed the part, understood what it would be to have students she loved and feel desperate to save them from death and destruction. She took the tissue and thanked all three of them.

  “I have to say,” the producer chuckled and looked at his team before she had time to leave. “She’s the best I’ve seen. I can’t believe we wouldn’t call her back.” He didn’t wait for a response. “We’d like you to come back Monday. Read with a few of the others already cast.” He stood and shook her hand. “Would that be okay?”

  “Yes!” Bailey kept from shouting out loud, but her tone told them how thrilled she was. She shook the hands of the other two, and was barely out of the room and down the hall when she called Brandon.

  “Hello? How did it go?” His voice was brimming with expectancy, as if he believed nothing but the best for this audition and her ability to win the part.

  “Brandon!” She squealed. “It was amazing. They want me back for another read on Monday!”

  “I knew it.” He laughed out loud, the sound of celebration. “Whoo-hoo, baby. You’re going to get this, I know it!”

  They only talked for another minute or so, since Bailey was headed down the elevator and the service was cutting out. But it was enough to read for the part, to see the enthusiasm on the faces of the producer and directors, and to hear the love and support in Brandon’s voice. Everything was falling into place, putting her fears at ease and reminding her that maybe … just maybe she could do this. She could live this LA life and act in movies the way Brandon would keep acting in movies, and do it all for the glory of God.

  Nothing could stop Brandon and her now, right? She closed her eyes as she rode the elevator, just for a few seconds while she took the question to the Lord.

  Right, God? Nothing could break us up?

  The answer wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear.

  My strength is sufficient for you, daughter. Trust in me.

  But Bailey put her fears aside. Whatever lay ahead, she and Brandon would deal with the struggles together. God had a place for her in the movies, after all. Brandon’s studio deal … her possible acting career … the two of them doing life together in Hollywood. Brandon wasn’t going to let anything happen to her; he’d already proven that. She smiled as she stepped off the elevator into her future.

  What could possibly go wrong now?

  BRANDON WALKED OUT ONTO HIS BACK DECK and closed the door behind him. He was alone, just him and the moon over the ocean, just God Almighty and one other thing: the report from Luke Baxter.

  Already Brandon had read it, but he hadn’t shared it with anyone. Not Dayne or his agent or his manager. Not with Bailey. She was at home tonight, hanging out with Katy and Dayne, sharing with them her good news about the audition. The two of them had shared dinner at a quiet place down the beach, though he was pretty sure paparazzi had shot them from across the street. At least none of them made an approach. He sort of thought it might be awhile before any of them took that kind of chance again.

  The tabloids had run the pictures, of course. Him pushing the camera from the photographer, him punching the guy in the face. But he had contacted his attorney first thing the next morning, so the story was one he controlled. Paparazzi Face Assault Charges, the articles shouted. No, he shouldn’t have lost his temper, and he prayed that he never would again. But still, the story was a victory for everyone stalked by the tabloids.

  The satisfaction of that moment was only a distant memory in light of the report in his hands. Brandon turned his back to the ocean and using the light that shone through his kitchen window he looked over the highlights of the document once more. Luke’s report was three pages and pretty much scathing in its assessment of his contract. “The risk factors are too large to calculate,” Luke had writ
ten. “If they want you to be a deranged truck driver or a sex-craved maniac — it’ll be their call. You have absolutely no creative control, regardless of what your manager and agent have told you.”

  The news was still hitting him, still taking its toll on the face of his future. He hadn’t paid Luke Baxter to discourage him from signing the contract. After all, the studio already had the party planned. They’d easily spent six figures on the celebration. He couldn’t simply call and cancel the whole thing. That wouldn’t be the right answer for any of them, right?

  No, what he had to do now was call his agent and show him Luke’s report. Go over the specifics Luke had pointed out and have a line edit of the contract. So that everyone could live with the final product. He breathed in deep and lowered the report. Once more he turned toward the ocean. Only a week ago he had asked God to test him, to grow him … to make his faith stronger, more genuine.

  This is part of Your answer, isn’t it, God? You know it won’t be easy … calling my agent … showing them this report. Asking the studio to go back and change what everyone thinks is the best deal ever.

  He sighed, longing for God’s answer, for His perfect peace.

  But You’ll help me, right? You will, Lord. I know You will.

  He thought about the ramifications if he hadn’t shown the contract to Luke. The idea that he could be cast to play any sort of role the studio wanted. Like Dayne had said a month ago — he would’ve been nothing more than a puppet in the hands of the studio.

  I feel You in this, God, protecting me. Looking out for me. Thank You for that … and for bringing Dayne into my life. Thank You for Bailey.

  Brandon steadied himself, facing the night sky and the powerful presence of an omnipotent God.

  Whatever You bring next, Lord, I’m ready. Test me and see … I want that deeper walk, that deeper faith.

  No immediate response whispered in the recesses of Brandon’s soul, but he felt an overwhelming certainty: God would be with him, yes, but Brandon would indeed be tested. The reality frightened him, and made him press in closer to Jesus than ever before. The testing would come. He felt it as certainly as he felt the ocean breeze against his face. Yes, the season ahead would be one of testing.