First Kiss
The alarm buzzed just as the sun peeked through the blinds and directly into Jenny’s eyes. Hitting the alarm, she squinted and rolled over to find empty sheets next to her. They felt cold as she ran her hand over the wrinkles. The faucet in the bathroom sputtered on and off. Ryan must be shaving again, she thought as she laid back, savoring every last minute of sleep she could get. Suddenly, drawers were flung open and clothes tossed to the floor. “Babe, did you do laundry yet?” Ryan asked as he searched through hamper in the corner of the room.
“Oh. Sorry, I haven’t gotten to that yet,” Jenny said, sitting up to see her husband rummage through the closet. The room was a mess. Clothes strewn and empty cups crowded the bedside tables. Jenny spared a smile as she glanced around and noticed the deep blue color of the walls. Memories of painting this room a week before their wedding floated in her mind. All of the hearts they doodled on the walls before covering them in paint couldn’t be seen anymore, but she knew they were there. Quickly, she found herself back in her room, watching her husband struggle to find clean clothes. Guilt weighted on her heart like a rock. “How about I make some breakfast. Does that sound okay?”
“No thanks, I was just planning on eating cereal and watching the game from last night,” Ryan said as he pulled up and old pair of pants. “If that’s okay with you?”
Jenny sank back. “That’s fine. I had some things I needed to work on anyway.” Ryan walked over to her and kissed her on the cheek, then left the room. Jenny looked to the right of the door and saw the first picture they hung in their room. A bride and groom bathed in white danced hand in hand. They wore smiles from ear to ear. That very symphony played in Jenny’s head as she clutched her blanket closer to her chest. She admired her once blonde hair and the curls it was somehow able to withstand that day. Much better than the pin straight hair she is used to, she always thought. She giggled at this romantic picture, absorbing the memories and wonderful emotions that came with it. Jenny hopped out of bed and threw her hair up in a messy bun that sat on the top of her head. She brushed her teeth then skipped down the stairs. Once reaching the bottom, she could see Ryan sprawled out on the couch, bowl of cereal in on hand and remote in the other. Taking a deep breath, she turned to the mirror on the wall and checked her hair, tucking some loose ends back behind her ear and wiping away black mascara smudges from under her eyes. She puffed out her chest a bit and walked over to the couch, finding a seat on Ryan’s lap.
“Woah, babe careful. You’re going to spill the milk,” Ryan said, sitting up to shove his bowl onto the coffee table.
“I’m sorry, I didn't mean to do that. I guess I just thought… maybe you and I could go back upstairs? I could put something on,” She trailed away as Ryan’s face was without a glimmer of interest.
“We could, but I have to go to work soon. Plus, I haven’t showered and I’m all gross anyway. Maybe some other time this week,” Ryan said as he got up, cleaned up his things, and headed upstairs. Jenny sat, motionless. Alone. On the couch, again. Why doesn't he love me like he used to? Jenny was back asking herself the same question nearly everyday. Tears welled up in her eyes as she sat up and tried to fan them away. Footsteps thumped as Ryan trotted down the stairs and grabbed his coat and bag. He reached for the door nob, then paused and turned around to Jenny, kissing her on the cheek. “I’m taking off so I’ll see you tonight for date night, okay?” Ryan said half way out the door.
“Okay, yeah that’s fine.” Jenny replied, curling into a ball and laying her head on the arm rest of the couch.
The car pulled into the driveway as Jenny kept her eyes fixed on the rain drops speeding down the passenger’s window. Their typical date night was just as she expected, as it usually is once every month. Jenny kept a faint sliver of hope that maybe Ryan would surprise her, that maybe he would do something so unexpected that would make these last five years of romantic drought somewhat worth it. “Well, we should probably get inside,” Ryan said while putting the car in park. “Tomorrow’s going to be another long day so I better get some rest.” Jenny’s heart sank, again. By this time, she couldn’t keep track of how many times she’s had this feeling. She closed her eyes and let the tears she’s been holding back stream down her face.
“Do you even love me anymore?” she blurted out. Ryan was taken aback, his face in complete shock.
“What are you talking about, of course I do,” he said, reaching his hand over to rub her leg. “Where is this coming from?” Jenny opened her eyes and met his. She hoped he could see all of the pain she was feeling.
“Do you remember going on dates? You would open the door for me to get into the beat up car you had to drive. You hated driving it but you would drive it across the country if that’s where I told you I wanted to go. You wrote me songs and sang to me in the car, and you always kissed me like you meant it. Now, I feel like I have to fight to get you to love me.” By now, Jenny wondered if Ryan could even understand what she was saying through her sobbing. She watched him to see what he would say. Her heart raced and her head pounded.
“You’re right,” Ryan said, taking a deep breath. “I’m sorry. I haven’t been loving you like I should. I’m so sorry.” Jenny felt numb. Was that really all he had to say? After all of these years and all of the pain I went through, that’s what he has to say? Ryan leaned in and kissed her. It wasn’t a normal kiss. Jenny felt warm, and comforted. Everything melted away and she could only feel his lips and hear the soft ticks of raindrops on the roof of the car. This kiss wasn’t a normal kiss, it was just like their first kiss. The excitement, passion, and love filled her up and she laughed as Ryan pulled away from her. “I love you,” he said, looking into Jenny’s eyes and holding her face in between his hands. And for the first time, she didn’t feel like she needed to hear those words.
About the Author
Alissa Snyder thrives on writing witty and clever television comedy screenplays. She is currently enrolled at Full Sail University pursuing a Bachelor’s Degree in Creative Writing for Entertainment. When she isn’t hunched over her computer, typing and laughing at her own jokes, she travels the country absorbing the different lifestyles of city dwellers. Her work will soon be available at https://snyderthewriter.tumblr.com/.
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