Yeah, she had an ache all right, but nowhere near the vicinity of her head.

  He frowned. "Want me to rub your temples for you?"

  There were so many parts of her she wanted him to rub she almost whimpered thinking about it. "No, I think I'll take a couple acetaminophen and head to bed. Night, Nick."

  She grabbed her water and fled the room, quickly heading to her bedroom. She shut the door and blew out a sigh of relief.

  Only there was no relief in sight for her. After she washed her face, brushed her teeth, and climbed into bed, all she felt was pent up and anxious, her body so tuned into Nick she could still smell him.

  The sooner she found him someone the sooner this ache for him would go away.

  She hoped.

  Chapter Six

  Henry wriggled so much that Nick was sure the car was vibrating.

  "Are we there yet?"

  Nick smiled. "Not yet, buddy. Pretty soon."

  Was there anything better as a kid than seeing Santa? Nick could still remember being little and waiting in that long line that seemed as if it would take forever to get to the front, and being so excited he could hardly stand it.

  Nick loved doing this with Henry. And at four and a half, he was old enough to really get into Christmas now.

  But while Henry was a bouncing ball of enthusiasm, Ellie sat silently in the passenger seat scrolling through her phone. He was hoping this trek to the mall would get her into the holiday spirit.

  She'd been acting weird lately. Quiet and avoiding him and he didn't know why. He'd tried to figure out if he'd done something to make her mad. He'd asked her several times but she'd only smiled at him and told him she was fine, no he hadn't done anything to irritate her, and that she had a lot on her mind.

  He knew the holiday season was tough on her, but hiding from it wasn't going to help. Besides, there was Henry, and the more she got into Christmas, the happier her son would be. So he'd do whatever it took to make sure they were both happy.

  They parked and went into the mall. Ellie said she had some shopping to do, and he knew what that meant. She wanted Nick to take Henry to see Santa. It's what he'd done every year since Henry was a baby. First, just for photos, and then when Henry got old enough, so he could sit on Santa's lap and give Santa his list.

  Typically, Nick wouldn't mind, but not this year.

  This was the year he wanted Ellie to get into the holiday, to be more present. Not just for Henry but for herself.

  Ellie needed to find her joy in the holidays again.

  He took her by the hand.

  "Let's all go see Santa," he said.

  "Yeah," Henry said, looking at Ellie. "You're coming, aren't you, Momma"

  Ellie looked at Nick, then down at Henry. Nick had caught the surprise, the hesitation. He knew she'd normally bow out and do something else.

  But then she graced Henry with that beautiful smile of hers. "Of course I am."

  Nick couldn't hold back the sigh of relief.

  Joy. Come on, Ellie. You can do this.

  They made their way to the center court, where Santa's village was located. The line wasn't too bad, fortunately. Plus, they sold tickets so you could have a designated time. Their time was in thirty minutes, so they decided to wander.

  "How about you take Henry and go do something while I shop for a bit?" Ellie asked.

  "Why?" Nick asked.

  "Because I need to browse some things." She motioned with her head toward Henry.

  "Oh. Sure. Come on, buddy. Let's go look at window displays."

  Nick took his hand and they wandered the mall. Henry liked to stop and look at everything, and fortunately there were a couple of toy stores. They stopped in one and Henry amused himself with all the toys. Okay, so maybe Nick amused himself with all the toys, too.

  "I want trains," Henry said.

  He didn't have a train yet. Nick could see both of them having serious fun with this. He'd have to talk to Ellie about getting him a starter set for Christmas.

  "I guess you'll have to tell Santa you want a train for Christmas, then."

  "Okay!"

  Nick tried to encourage Henry to explore some of the other things in the store, but he didn't want to leave the train area and happily played there, eating up all the time they had.

  "We gotta go, Henry. Time to see Santa."

  Henry slipped his small hand in Nick's as they walked out of the store. "I'm gonna tell Santa I want a train. Will he bring me one?"

  "I dunno, buddy. Have you been a good boy this year?"

  Henry looked up at him with eyes that looked just like John's. "'Course I have. I'm always a good boy."

  These were the times when Nick's chest ached, thinking how John would have been such a great dad.

  But he wasn't here, and Nick would always be around for Henry.

  Always. And he'd make sure that Henry knew what an amazing man his father had been.

  Ellie wandered the aisles, stopping when she saw the black sweater.

  Nick looked amazing in black, but she'd gotten him a sweater for Christmas last year. Still, as she fingered the material, she lingered at the soft fabric, imagining running her hands over Nick's chest.

  Seriously, Ellie. Not gonna happen.

  She really had to find Nick a woman--a woman who was not her.

  Deciding the sweater was so not a good idea considering her wayward thoughts, she moved on, eventually leaving the store. She took a break and grabbed a seat, deciding to mull over thoughts of a gift for Nick while people watching.

  She caught sight of a couple around the same age as her. The guy reminded her a lot of John. Cute, with dark hair and glasses, he leaned over and laughed at something his girlfriend or wife said. In between them was a little girl a couple of years older than Henry.

  Her heart ached at the picture they made. So happy.

  She and John and Henry would have been happy, too. If only...

  She snapped herself out of that thought process, the one she'd lived in for far too long.

  No. Not anymore. She wouldn't be happy living in the past, refusing to move forward.

  That wasn't her anymore. That wasn't her life anymore. Her life with John was in the past. She had to start dreaming of a future. A future of happiness and laughter and life and love and one with Henry in it.

  Henry was her future.

  But she took another glance at the couple and their little girl, and she couldn't help the wistful smile on her face.

  Nick and Henry met up with Ellie at Santa's village. She had a couple of bags in her hands.

  "Want me to hold those?" he asked.

  She shook her head. "No, thanks. I've got it."

  He cocked his head to the side. "Oh, so you bought me something."

  "I didn't say that."

  "You didn't have to." He slanted a grin at her.

  Ellie rolled her eyes. "You're like a child, Nick. Except that you can wait for Christmas."

  He leaned into her and whispered in her ear, "I know where you hide the gifts."

  She turned to face him, her eyes narrowed. "You wouldn't dare."

  He realized their lips were only inches apart. It would be so easy to kiss her, but they were in the middle of the mall and Henry was there. Plus there was that whole situation with her fixing him up the other night, and that caused him some hesitation about making a move.

  "You're right, I wouldn't ruin Christmas by peeking. Just make sure you don't go hunting down your gift."

  She looked surprised. "You got me a gift?"

  "Don't I always?"

  "But I haven't told you what I wanted yet."

  "I know you haven't."

  "What if I want dish towels?"

  He gave her a horrified look. "Who asks for dish towels for Christmas?"

  She lifted her chin. "We need new ones. The old ones are raggedy."

  "Then we'll go buy some. But I can guarantee you, Ellie, you're not getting dish towels for Christmas."

&nb
sp; "Fine." She had stayed close to him, which he liked. She smelled good, something like cotton candy.

  They only had to wait a few minutes before it was their turn.

  Henry climbed up on Santa's lap. Whatever it was he was telling Santa, he was very animated about it. The two of them had quite the conversation, and Santa laughed.

  "What do you think he's asking Santa for?" Ellie asked.

  "Probably a train set. He was all over the one in the toy store."

  Ellie turned to Nick. "Trains? Really?"

  "Yeah."

  "That could be fun."

  "I thought so, too."

  "We'll definitely have to get him a set."

  He nodded. "I know exactly which one he wants."

  Ellie gave him a look. "You sure it's not the set you want?"

  Nick laughed. "Okay, maybe we both like trains."

  "Obviously."

  "Fine. Trains it is."

  His lips curved as they waited for Henry.

  Today had been a good day. They could all be good together.

  He saw that.

  So why didn't Ellie?

  Chapter Seven

  Ellie had found the perfect opportunity to introduce Nick to another amazing woman. Her department's holiday party was tonight. Karen was an obstetrical resident. She was beautiful and smart and single and had a fun, bubbly personality. She'd be ideal for Nick.

  Nick wouldn't suspect anything because he always went to her holiday party with her. The year after John died, she didn't want to go at all. John had always gone with her, and going without him had seemed unthinkable.

  It had been Nick who had told her she had to get out, had to enjoy time with her work friends.

  He'd been right, of course. She'd taken those few hours and enjoyed herself for the first time in almost a year. Her colleagues and friends had treated her as if she was a normal person, when she'd spent the past year feeling anything but normal. Every year since, she'd always brought Nick, and everyone loved him.

  Which was no surprise. Nick was personable, always found something in common with every person he talked to, from doctors to unit clerks, and gave everyone his full attention.

  The department holiday dinners were always a big deal, which meant Ellie would need to wear a dress. And since she didn't dress up all that often, she had to go shopping. She couldn't wear the same outfit she'd worn last year.

  Fran said there was a sale at their favorite store, so after their shift, they went shopping.

  "Why is it that you look good in every damn dress you've tried on?" Fran asked as they both stepped out of the dressing room.

  "I do not. That navy one was hideous." Ellie checked herself out in the mirror and wrinkled her nose as she stared at herself in the mirror. She didn't know how she felt about this red dress. She felt...exposed, maybe. The dress was a little more scandalous than she was used to wearing. It was tight in spots and revealing in other spots. She turned to check out Fran. "And that dress you're wearing looks amazing on you."

  Fran put her hand on her hip. "First, the navy one wasn't hideous. It was super short and showed a lot of thigh. And you should definitely get that red dress. It's smoking-hot on you. It shows off your shoulders and your legs. Do you really think this one is okay?"

  Ellie nodded. The dress Fran wore was a wrap dress in black, showed off her amazing cleavage, and looked stunning on her. "It's gorgeous. It accentuates the curve in your waist and the length is perfect. Just enough to show off the goods, not too much that people will be raising eyebrows."

  Fran looked in the mirror and Ellie knew she was being super-critical. Fran was curvy and always complained about her hips and thighs, when, in fact, she had a banging body.

  Fran finally turned and nodded. "Okay, fine, I'll get this one. Now what do you think about that red one you've got on?"

  Ellie flipped around to look at herself in the full-length mirror again. The dress had thin straps and a low back but otherwise covered her up in front. It hit her at the knees, which she supposed was acceptable. And she did love the deep red color. "I don't know, Fran. It's a little sexy for the department party, don't you think?"

  Fran came up beside her. "Nah. Throw a sweater over it and it'll be perfect. And then you can wear it again on a date."

  Ellie snorted. "A date. Right. I have so many of those."

  Fran grasped Ellie's shoulders. "It's about damn time you have at least one of those, don't you think?"

  "I'm busy."

  Fran smoothed her hands up and down Ellie's arms. "It's been almost five years, El. You loved him. Everyone knows that. But it's time for you to close that chapter and move on."

  She sighed. "I know. But--"

  "No 'but.'" Fran raised a hand to stop her. "Get the red dress and knock some hot guy on his ass with it."

  That was the problem, though, since the only hot guy she wanted to knock on his ass was Nick. And she already had plans to fix him up with someone else.

  So maybe after she found Nick the love of his life, she'd start dating again and see what happened.

  Chapter Eight

  Nick hated going to these events, but hey, it was only once a year. It was also rare that he wore a tie. For Ellie, he'd do anything.

  They got a sitter for Henry. Henry loved Cecilia, who was fourteen and loved hanging out with little kids. She lived in the neighborhood and had been sitting for them for three years now. It wouldn't be long until cars and boys would take priority and they'd have to find another sitter. Until then, Cecelia was pure gold.

  By the time he came back from picking up Cecilia, Ellie had come out of her room and already had her coat on, so all he saw were some very attractive legs and black heels. That was enough to whet his appetite for what was underneath her coat. He waited while she gave instructions to Cecilia, then they left for the party.

  At least since he went to these shindigs every year, he knew most everyone. There was occasional turnover, so some faces came and went and he'd invariably meet new folks every year, but nurses had a tendency to stay, as well as the doctors.

  Plus, the department always held the party at an awesome venue, with pretty damn good food.

  They arrived at the private club, which was done up in holiday decor. Streamers of green and red were strung around the wood beams, and signs that said Happy Holidays were hung up over the bar. Santa Claus--the cardboard version--smiled cheerily at them from the corner of the room, while a live version of Santa was ho-ho-ho-ing his way through the crowd.

  With a glass of whiskey in his hand.

  Nick didn't judge. Santa should be able to have fun. If Nick had to wear that padded, hot costume along with the beard for hours on end, he'd need whiskey, too.

  Nick shrugged out of his coat, then turned to Ellie. "Let me take your coat and I'll hang them up."

  "Okay."

  Ellie took her coat off and Nick tried not to swallow his tongue. Sweet Jesus. She had a red dress on, and even though she wore a sparkly black sweater over it, the damn thing was sexy as hell. Silky and swung against her body like a tease.

  "Nick?"

  He blinked. "Yeah?"

  "Were you going to hang up the coats?"

  "Oh, right. Sure. I'll be right back. How about a drink?"

  "That'd be great." She offered up a sweet smile, clearly having no idea what she was doing to him.

  He went to the coat check and took care of their coats, then headed straight to the bar. He ordered a glass of wine for Ellie, and then, like Santa, a double shot of whiskey.

  If he was going to follow Ellie around tonight while she wore that dress, he was going to need alcohol.

  He took two hard swallows to get things started.

  "Hey, Nick."

  He turned and smiled at Dev Ramesh, the head of the OB department. They shook hands. "Hey, Dev, happy holidays."

  "Same to you."

  Nick hugged, Preeti, Dev's wife, who Nick knew from Ellie was pregnant again. Very pregnant, by the looks of it
. "Congratulations to both of you."

  Preeti smiled and rubbed her belly. "Thank you. This one's a girl, and after two very active boys, I'm ready."

  Nick grinned. "Hey, she might end up being just as active trying to keep up with her big brothers."

  Preeti frowned at him. "Don't say that, Nick. I'm ready for some girl time and tea parties."

  Nick laughed. "Then I hope you have a mellow baby girl who loves tea parties and shopping instead of Nerf gun wars, dribbling basketballs in the house, bugs, and dirt."

  Preeti laughed. "Spoken as someone who has a little boy in his house. And thank you. Me, too."

  Ellie came over and hugged Preeti. "You look gorgeous."

  "I look like I swallowed a basketball. I'm ready to get this one out of me."

  Dev put his arm around Preeti. "You're beautiful, as always."

  Preeti put her head on Dev's shoulder. "He always knows the right thing to say. How is Henry doing, Ellie?"

  "He's doing great, thanks. Happily spending the evening with his favorite sitter tonight."

  They chatted with Dev and Preeti about little boys for a while, then Dev excused them to go greet everyone else.

  "I'm hungry," Nick said. "Let's go check out the food."

  "First on your agenda, as always," Ellie teased.

  "Hey, I talked to people first."

  They made their way to the hors d'ouevres bar. Nick piled some shrimp and crab and veggie things on his plate. He didn't know the fancy names for them, but as he popped some bacon-wrapped shrimp into his mouth, he did know they tasted good.

  They found a table and took seats. Someone came by and filled their glasses with water. Nick made two more trips to the bar for snacks, while Ellie chatted up a pretty redhead Ellie had called to sit down next to her.

  "Nick, this is Dr. Karen Wilson. She's an obstetrics resident at the hospital. Karen, this is Nick Washington. He's my brother-in-law and he owns an auto repair shop."

  Nick wiped his hands on a napkin, then leaned across Ellie to shake hands with the doc. "Dr. Wilson."

  "Karen, please," she said with a warm smile.

  "Okay, Karen. Are you new to the department? I know we haven't met at previous parties."

  "New to the hospital, actually. About six months."

  Ellie eased out of her chair. "If you'll excuse me, I'll be right back."

  "Sure, Ellie," Karen said with a smile. Then she slid into Ellie's seat next to Nick. "How about you? Are you a native to St. Louis?"

  "I am. So you're not from around here?"