“I would stay with you if you . . .”
“You’ll leave when I command you to leave,” his father ordered. “You’ll save yourself so you’ll be able to keep your promises to me. The enemy has left, but make no mistake, they’ll come back to finish it.”
“We have time, Father. The sun is still high, and the enemy dragged your barrels of wine with them. They’ll be too thick-headed to come back before morning.”
“Then you may linger a moment more,” his father conceded.
“Will Angus send me to Euphemia to tell her what happened?”
“He will not. You will not tell that woman anything.”
“But she’s your wife.”
“My second wife,” he corrected. “Never trust a woman, Connor. ’Tis foolhardy to do so. Euphemia will find out what happened when she returns with her son, Raen. I want you to be well away from here by then. I won’t have you trained by her relatives. They’re all leeches.”
Connor nodded so his father would know he understood, and then asked, “Did you trust my mother?”
Donald heard the worry in his son’s voice and thought it was probably his duty to give him a kind remembrance of his mother. Still, the boy needed to hear the truth, and for that reason, he didn’t soften his answer, but spoke from his heart.
“I did trust her, and anguish was the result. I loved your mother. She was my own sweet, bonny Isabelle, and how was I repaid for my generosity? She up and died on me, that’s how, breaking my heart and leaving me desolate. Learn from my folly and save yourself the heartache. I never should have married again—I realize that now—but I am a practical man above all else, and I knew I needed heirs to follow after me in the event something foul happened to you. Still, it was a mistake. Euphemia already had one son from her past marriage, and one child was all she was capable of carrying. She did try though.”
Donald paused to gather his thoughts before continuing. “I couldn’t love Euphemia, or any other woman. How could I, after what my own sweet Isabelle had done to me? Still, I shouldn’t have ignored your stepmother. It wasn’t her fault I couldn’t care about her. You must try to make up for my wrong. Try to honor her and put up with her pampered son. Remember, your first loyalty must be to your own.”
“I’ll remember. Where will Angus send me? There is time for you to tell me,” he persisted. He was deliberately stalling so that he would have a few more minutes with his father. “Angus could have been killed before he reached the forest.”
“It would not matter. Do you think I would entrust such important orders to only one man? I’m not foolish. I told others what was to be done.”
“Let me hear the command from my laird.”
Donald relented. “There’s only one man I trust, and you must go to him. Tell him what took place here today.”
“Do I tell him everything you have told me?”
“Yes.”
“Do I trust him?”
“You do,” he replied. “He’ll know what’s to be done. You must seek his protection first, then order him to train you in his image. Demand your right, boy. Pledge that you’ll be his brother until the day you die. He won’t fail you. Go now. Go to Alec Kincaid.”
Connor was stunned by the order. “He’s your hated enemy, Father. You cannot mean to send me to him.”
“I do mean to,” his father replied in a hard, unyielding voice. “Alec Kincaid has become the most powerful force in all the Highlands. He’s also a good and honorable man, and you need his strength.”
Connor was still having difficulty accepting the duty his father had just thrust upon him. He couldn’t stop himself from making another protest.
“But you warred against him.”
Donald surprised his son by smiling. “ ’Tis the truth I did. My heart wasn’t in the fight, though. Kincaid knew that. I tested him sorely and am proud to say I was the nagging thorn in his side. Our lands connect to the east, and so it was a natural inclination of mine to take some of his. He wouldn’t let me have it, of course. Still, he understood. Had he not, all of us would be dead by now.”
“He is that powerful?”
“He is. Be sure to show him my sword. Leave the blood upon the blade so Kincaid will see it.”
“Father, none of the MacAlisters will follow me if I go to their enemy.”
“You will do as I command,” his father said. “You’re too young to understand, and so you must trust my judgment. I want your promise that you will go to Kincaid now.”
“Yes, Father.”
Donald nodded. “The time has come for you to bid me good-bye. We’ve dallied long enough, and I’ve put off dying for as long as I dare. Even now I can feel myself slipping into sleep.”
Connor tried, but he couldn’t seem to make himself let go of his father’s hand.
“I will miss you,” he whispered.
“And I, you.”
“I love you, Father.”
“Warriors do not speak of such feelings. I love you too, son, but I won’t be telling you so.”
He squeezed Connor’s hand as a way of softening his rebuke, and finally closed his eyes. He was ready to let death have him, for he had seen the fire burning bright in Connor’s eyes, and he knew he would be avenged. What more could a father ask?
Donald MacAlister died a few minutes later, still clinging to his son’s hand. He died as he had lived, with honor, dignity, and on his own stubborn terms.
Connor lingered by his father’s side for as long as he could, until he heard someone whispering to him from behind. He turned to see a young soldier struggling to sit up. Connor couldn’t remember his name, and from the distance separating them, he couldn’t tell how serious his injuries were. He motioned to the soldier to stay where he was, then turned back to his father. He picked up the sword resting on his chest, bowed his head in prayer for his father’s soul, and then crawled away, clutching the treasured sword to his heart. He eased over hot, glowing embers that blistered his arms and the bloody remains of friends, which made his eyes fill with tears.
He finally reached the man who had called out to him and discovered the soldier wasn’t fully grown up, after all. Why, he couldn’t be more than two or three years older than Connor.
Thankfully, he remembered the soldier’s name before reaching him. “Crispin, I thought you dead. Roll onto your back so I may tend your injuries, or you will surely die.”
“There isn’t time. They came here to kill both your father and you, Connor. Aye, that was their purpose. I heard one of the bastards boast of it to another. Leave before they come back and realize they’ve failed.”
“The enemy rests now. They won’t come back until the wine they drink wears off. Do as I command you to do.”
Crispin slowly rolled over, visibly grimacing over the pain the movement caused.
“Is your father dead?”
“Yes,” Connor answered. “He lived long enough to tell me what I must do. He died in peace.”
Crispin began to weep. “My laird is dead.”
“Nay, Crispin. Your laird kneels before you.”
Connor wouldn’t allow him to argue with him, or laugh over his boast, but gave him duty upon duty while he bandaged him. He told the soldier how he could help to repay their enemy for this atrocity, and when Connor was finished binding his wound, he had given the soldier something more powerful than anguish to fill his mind and his heart. He had given him hope.
Although it was difficult because of his size, Connor eventually dragged Crispin to safety. He hid him away in the forest, well-protected by thick branches, and went back to the destruction twice more to drag out two others. One was Angus, the loyal soldier to whom his father had entrusted the duty of instructing his son. The other was a boy Connor’s age called Quinlan, who had only just arrived to begin his training the week before. His injuries were severe, and he was in such pain, he begged to be left alone. Connor was deaf to his pleas.
“I decide when you die, Quinlan, not you.”
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The boy stopped struggling and even tried to help.
Connor desperately wanted to go back again and again to search for more, but the enemy had decided to return before nightfall, and even now he could see the shadows their horses made on the rise below. He knew he couldn’t chance being discovered. He still needed enough time to remove the trail he’d made. He immediately set about doing just that, and once he was satisfied the three he’d hidden away would not be found, he promised to bring help and ordered them to stay alive.
He was finally ready to do his father’s bidding. He rode his faithful mount half the distance to Kincaid land, but when he reached the steep ledges, he left the horse behind and climbed over the rock so that he could shorten the way.
Once he reached the flats again, he began to run. He moved over the land with the speed of a young buck for short spurts, and when exhaustion made his legs too weak to continue the grueling pace, he used his father’s sword and scabbard as his cane and slowed to a walk until he was able to regain his strength again. He wasn’t very strong yet, but his determination was that often grown men. He would not fail his father.
Connor felt nothing now, not the cold or the pain or the terrible loss. His mind was focused on one thought. He had to get to Alec Kincaid. Pledging his loyalty to the laird was the first step he must take to fulfill his father’s wishes, and Connor wouldn’t let anyone or anything stop him.
He lost track of time, and darkness was fast approaching. The sky was bright now with hundreds of orange streaks from the sun’s too-quick descent behind the twin peaks directly ahead of him, but in a few minutes, those brilliant banners would also be gone. His desperation mounted with each step he took. He had to reach Kincaid before night closed in on him because he knew he would never be able to find his way in the dark. If he continued in darkness, he ran the risk of going in circles, or worse, backtracking the distance he’d already covered.
He could not fail. He started running again. He thought he was close to the border between his father’s land and Kincaid’s, yet he couldn’t be absolutely certain. And then he heard shouts to halt from soldiers running toward him, but in his confusion he thought the enemy had chased him down and meant to kill him before he could keep his promises to his father. He staggered on until he couldn’t take another step.
Dear God, he’d failed. He hadn’t even begun yet and now he had failed. Kincaid was the beginning of his future, but Connor wasn’t even strong enough to get to him.
“Can you speak, lad? Can you tell us what happened to you? You’re covered in blood.”
The soldiers surrounding him were all wearing Kincaid’s colors. As that fact registered in Connor’s mind, his legs gave out, and he went down hard on his knees. He wanted to close his eyes for just a moment, but he didn’t dare. Not yet. He couldn’t sleep until he had spoken to Kincaid. He needed to tell him what happened. . . . He could trust him. . .. He must . . .
He shook his head, trying to clear his thoughts, and then took a deep breath, threw back his head, and shouted, “Take me to my brother.”
“Who is your brother, lad?” one of the sentries asked.
“By my father’s command, from this day forward Alec Kincaid is my brother. He will not deny me.”
It was all right to close his eyes now. He had fulfilled the first of his father’s demands. The rest would come as soon as he had spoken to Kincaid. He would tell him where he’d hidden the injured soldiers, command that he go and get them . . . and he would tell his brother so much more . . .
Connor’s last thought before he lost consciousness gave him peace. His father would be avenged.
And so it began.
Chapter 1
England, 1108
It wasn’t love at first sight.
Lady Brenna didn’t want to be presented to company. She had far more important things to do with her day. Her nursemaid, a dour-faced woman with God-fearing ways and clumped-together, protruding front teeth, wouldn’t listen to her arguments, however. With the determination of a hedgehog, she cornered Brenna in the back of the stables and then lunged forward. Never one to let an opportunity or a little girl slip past her, the nursemaid lectured her charge all the way up the hill and across the muddy courtyard.
“Quit your squirming, Brenna. I’m stronger than you are, and I’m not about to let go. You’ve lost your shoes again, haven’t you? And don’t dare lie to me. I can see your stockings peeking out. Why are you dragging that bridle behind you?”
Brenna lifted her shoulders in a shrug. “I forgot to put it back.”
“Drop it this minute. You’re always forgetting, and do you know why?”
“I don’t pay attention to what I’m doing, like you tell me to, Elspeth.”
“You don’t pay attention to anything I tell you, and that’s a fact. You’re more trouble than all the others put together. Your older brothers and sisters have never given me a moment’s worry. Even your baby sister knows how to behave herself, and she’s still sucking on her fingers and wetting herself. I’m warning you, Brenna, if you don’t change your ways and give your parents a little peace, God himself will have to stop his important work and come down here to talk to you. Just how are you going to feel about that? You don’t like it much when your papa has to sit you down on his knee and talk to you about your shameful behavior, now do you?”
“No, Elspeth. I surely don’t like it. I try to behave. I really do.”
She peeked up to see if the nursemaid believed she was contrite. She wasn’t, of course, because she really didn’t think she’d done anything wrong, but Elspeth wouldn’t understand.
“Don’t you bat those big blue eyes at me, young lady. I don’t believe you’re the least bit sincere. Lord, but you smell. What have you gotten into?”
Brenna lowered her head and kept quiet. She’d been chasing after the piglets just an hour before, until the tanner put their mama back in the pen, and Brenna’s peculiar stench was just a small price to pay for all the fun she’d had.
Her torture had only just begun. Even though she had had a bath just a week before, she was bathed again, and in the middle of the day, of all times. She was scrubbed from head to toes, and so thoroughly she had to cry about it. Elspeth wasn’t at all sympathetic to her wails, and Brenna eventually got tired of crying. She barely struggled at all while Elspeth dressed her in a blue gown and too-tight matching slippers. Her cheeks were pinched hard for color, her whiteblond tangles were brushed into curls, and she was then dragged back down to the hall. She would have to pass her mother’s inspection before she could be left alone.
Her oldest sister, Matilda, was already seated at the table with her mother. Cook was there too, going over supper arrangements with her mistress.
“I don’t want to meet no company today, Mama. It’s sorely wearisome for me.”
Elspeth came up behind her and poked her in her shoulder. “Hush now. You mustn’t complain. God doesn’t like women who complain.”
“Papa complains all the time, and God likes him just fine,” Brenna announced. “That’s why Papa’s so big. Only God is bigger than he is.”
“Where did you hear such nonsense?”
“Papa told me so. I want to go outside now. I won’t run after the piglets again. I promise.”
“You’re staying right where I can keep my eye on you. You’re going to behave yourself today. If you don’t, you know what will happen to you, don’t you?”
Brenna pointed to the ground. “I’ll have to go down there.” She dutifully repeated the threat she’d heard over and over again.
The little girl didn’t have any idea what was “down there”; she only knew it was awful and she didn’t want to go there. According to Elspeth, if Brenna didn’t change her sorry ways, she was never going to get into heaven, and just about everyone, including her family, wanted to go there.
She knew exactly where heaven was because her papa had given her exact directions. It was right on the other side of the sky.
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She thought she might like it, but really didn’t care. Only one thing was important to her now. She wasn’t about to be left behind again. She still had nightmares at least once a week over what her mama referred to as the “unfortunate” incidents. The terrifying memories were still lurking in the back of her mind, where everyone knew all little girls tucked away their worries, just waiting for the right opportunity to jump out in the dark and scare her. Her screams would wake her sister, of course. While Elspeth was busy soothing baby Faith, Brenna would drag her blanket to her parents’ chamber. When her papa was away from home doing important work the king could give only to someone as trustworthy and loyal as he was, she’d sneak into the big bed and cuddle up next to her mama, and when her papa was home, she’d sleep on the cold floor right next to Courage, his beautiful silverhandled sword Mama swore he loved almost as much as his children. Brenna felt safest when her papa was there because his loud snores always lulled her back to sleep. Demons didn’t try to crawl in through the window and nightmares about being left behind didn’t visit her when she was with her parents. Those horrors wouldn’t dare.
“Please tell Brenna to keep her mouth shut when company arrives, Mother,” Matilda requested. “She shouts every word. She does it on purpose. When will she stop the vile habit?”
“Soon, dear, soon,” her mother replied almost absentmindedly.
Brenna edged closer to her sister. Matilda was bossy by nature, but now that their brothers were away learning how to be as important to their king as their papa, her condition had worsened. She was becoming as bothersome as Elspeth.
“You’re a pain in the arse, Mattie.”
Her mother heard the remark. “Brenna, you will not use such common language again. Do you understand me?”
“Yes, Mama, but Papa says his arse is paining him all the time. It aches something fierce, it does.”
Her mother closed her eyes. “Don’t sass me, child.”
Brenna’s shoulders slumped. She tried to look pitiful. “Mama, I’m sorely weary of everybody telling me what to do all the time. Doesn’t anybody like me?”