Noah cleared his throat again, his arms moving of their own volition to encircle Alex as her weight settled into his lap.
Solemnly she went on. “It’d be the most awful thing I could possibly do, cheating both of us of an opportunity to grow and learn as sensible adults. It would deprive us of the chance to realize our full potential.”
“Alex—”
“Worse, we’d be setting the bars of our cage in cement. We’d wake up one day and not know how to talk to each other anymore! We’d address each other by silly pet names, and embarrass everyone who heard us. We’d be so ridiculous, we wouldn’t be able to stand each other!”
Noah had to clear his throat twice. “Alex?”
“I would never allow that to happen,” she insisted solemnly. “I would never demean the both of us by resorting to such tricks. It would be unfair and unladylike. Not to mention devious and underhanded. I would never consider using your violent passion for me as a weapon or a reward. I would never wait until you were weak with desire and then demand that you give in to me. I promise you, Noah! If I want something of you, I’ll ask in a rational, reasonable manner, and we’ll discuss it. And if I lose out to you logically, I promise not to cry, or cling to you, or hold passion over your head as a threat. Or a promise.”
“Alex?”
She was kissing his chin. “Hmmm?” “Um … what, uh, what were you going to ask me?” he managed.
“Oh, nothing important.” Her fingers threaded through his hair and her lips feathered along his jaw.
“You were going to ask me something.”
“Hmmm? Oh, that. It was just about the zoo.”
“Zoo? What zoo?” Not that he cared.
“Our zoo. All that land, fenced and everything. We can have a zoo, can’t we, Noah?” She kissed him, then kissed him again.
“Zoo?” He wondered dimly if he was repeating himself.
“Uh-huh. A children’s zoo. We’ll find other old and gentle animals, not the least bit dangerous.” She kissed him. “And children can come and pet them. Wouldn’t that be terrific?”
“Terrific,” he echoed hoarsely.
“You can photograph the kids hugging a lion or riding an elephant—”
“Elephant?”
“—and they’ll have a picture they’ll always treasure. We can charge just a small fee for admission and the pictures, and that’ll feed the animals. It’ll work out just wonderfully, won’t it?”
“Wonderfully.” Her lips were evading his, and Noah made a blind but determined attempt to capture them.
“Say yes, Noah,” she murmured.
“Yes,” he growled.
“You,” he told her some considerable time later, “are a witch. I knew it the first moment I looked into those green eyes. There are sirens in your eyes. It just isn’t fair.”
Alex, wearing only one of his shirts, was sitting cross-legged at the foot of their bed with a large pad of paper in her lap. “I know where we can get an elephant cheap,” she said, carefully sketching what was, at the moment, the empty lot behind Noah’s building.
He placed another pillow behind his back. “You have a one-track mind.”
Green eyes with a hint of Gypsy wildness in them gleamed at him. “You’re pretty unswerving yourself.”
“Don’t look at me like that, dammit!” he chided her. “Next time I’ll find myself agreeing to something even worse than a zoo!”
Alex pulled on an innocent expression that would have shamed an angel. “Noah, you can’t say I forced you to agree to the zoo. I told you I’d never resort to silly, demeaning tricks, after all.”
“Yes, you did indeed say that. Promised, in fact. And I meant to tell you how truly enjoyable it was to have a rational, reasonable discussion with you.”
“Isn’t it nice to be adult about these things,” she agreed, deadpan.
“Certainly. I believe I was swayed to your way of thinking by the rational argument you used when you kissed me the first time. I was convinced of the validity of your arguments when you kissed me the second time. By the third kiss I was willing to believe the sun rose in the west. Then, by—”
“And I settled for a zoo?” she mourned, her eyes laughing.
“Would you please have a little respect for a man having a temper tantrum, and not interrupt?” he requested politely.
“Sorry. You were saying?”
He sighed again. “I’ve lost the thread, dammit.”
Alex tossed the pad and pencil aside and rejoined him at the head of the bed. “Good,” she said cheerfully. “Tantrums are very immature.”
“This is the woman I saw throwing pillows one morning?”
“That was an entirely different kind of tantrum. Perfectly logical and reasonable.”
“The hell you say.”
She giggled. “Well, never mind. I’m sure you’ll find some way of getting even with me for using a silly, demeaning trick.”
Noah smiled slowly.
Suspicious, she eyed him. “I can see the wheels turning.”
Leaning on his elbow, Noah began very methodically to unbutton her shirt. “I was just thinking,” he said, placing a kiss beside each button as it was unfastened, “that sauce for the gander … is sauce for the goose as well.”
Alex knew—she knew—that he was using her own methods on her, but that knowledge did absolutely nothing to keep her heart from pounding or her breath from growing short. “I refuse,” she said, smothering a gasp as a kiss landed beside her navel, “to let you resort to a cheap sexist trick to get your way!”
“I’d never do that,” he told her, hurt. He began pressing warm kisses in a widening path back up toward her throat.
Alex found her fingers tangled in his hair. “It would be unworthy of you. Demeaning. Unfair.”
“Of course it would.”
She helped him to discard the shirt. “I’d never forgive you,” she said weakly, her hands seeking his muscled back.
“Of course you would.”
“Brute!” she accused him breathlessly.
Between kisses he said, “There’s just … one … small thing … I want … of you, Alex.”
“What?” she managed.
“I agreed to your zoo,” he reminded her.
“Uh-huh.” She could feel her bones melting and dissolving.
“And now I want you to agree to something.” He kissed her urgently.
Alex made a sound in her throat that could have been taken for a question.
“I want you to promise to say I do,” he whispered, a breath away from her lips.
“I do,” she said obediently, lifting her head blindly to seek that tormenting mouth.
He evaded her. “Promise to say it when it counts,” he told her huskily. “Say you promise, Alex.”
“I promise!”
“You should be ashamed,” she told him sleepily.
Noah reached to turn out the lamp on the night-stand, chuckling. “I’m not. Are you awake?”
“Not really.”
“Alex, pay attention.”
She yawned and burrowed closer to his side. “Do I have to?” she asked him plaintively.
“Yes.” His voice was firm. “I can’t go to sleep until I’m sure you’re really going to marry me.”
It woke her up. Alex lifted her head and stared at him. The full moon shining through the window lit them both in a stark white light. Carefully she said, “I seem to remember agreeing to something along those lines.”
His blue-gray eyes were steady and warm. “I love you, Alex,” he said quietly. “So much. I’ll never be able to tell you how much. This blue-ribbon affair of ours, it’s always been forever to me. Tell me it’s the same for you. Marry me.”
Alex drew a deep, shuddering breath, unaware until that moment of just how desperately she’d needed this confirmation of his love. The girl who had never quite forgotten how it felt to be an unwanted, orphaned brat wanted to cry suddenly in the joyous relief of being loved as she loved.
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“Yes,” she whispered. “Yes, Noah.”
His face seemed alight from within. He drew her forward to kiss her tenderly, then held her in an embrace so full of love it nearly stopped her heart. Listening to his heart beating steadily beneath her cheek, she drifted toward sleep in her contentment.
“I love you,” she whispered.
“I love you too….”
She thought that he murmured something else, but Alex was too near sleep to be certain. Vaguely she thought she’d have to confide her ridiculous obsession that they’d lived and loved before. She still felt the grief of losing him twice, but the dreams had stopped. Did that mean something? she wondered. Probably. Her mind, eager not to lose this man, had dreamed of loss.
That had to be it.
There was really nothing else it could be.
Noah woke with a start in the small hours of the morning. Alex was held securely in his arms, and he hugged her sleeping body gently. These dreams, he thought, had been curiously final. He knew, somehow, that he wouldn’t dream of a Southern lady or a Gypsy girl anymore.
All stories ended.
And he’d seen the endings of two stories tonight.
NINE
THEY SPENT ANOTHER week at the cabin, both enjoying the quiet and each other’s company. Cal, who had until then kept his distance from Noah, clearly regarding the man’s presence in Alex’s life warily, completely relaxed after the “male” confrontation concerning who would sleep in her bed.
Alex was relieved that the lion had become openly affectionate with Noah, and amused when Cal apparently decided that since Noah was the dominant male of the two, it was perfectly natural that he become a playmate equal in stature—and size.
“Noah? Are you all right?”
“I never realized,” Noah wheezed, “that four hundred pounds could weigh so much. Could you get him off my chest before he caves in my rib cage, please?”
“He’s only playing with you.”
With some skill Noah worked his way out from under Cal’s considerable weight. The lion managed a last affectionate hug that deprived his playmate of most of his remaining breath, and then let him get to his feet.
“Playing with me? He’s trying to squeeze me to death!”
“You’re the dominant lion,” Alex reminded him, trying not to laugh. “You proved that to him. So he thinks you’re bigger than he is.”
“You mean I’m going to get tackled like that again? Just because I rousted him out of your bed?”
“Something like that.”
“Oh, damn.”
“It’s your fault. You won the lioness, after all.”
“I thought I won the blue ribbon.”
“We won the blue ribbon. You won the lioness.”
Noah pulled her into his arms, ignoring the lion gumming his ankle. “Oh? And what did you win?”
Alex linked her fingers together behind her neck. She was thinking of two women who had loved a man with gray-blue eyes … and lost him. “I won … more than you’ll ever know,” she murmured.
His eyes were alight. “Sprite, you can have ten zoos if you like. Just as long as I have you.”
They might have remained at the cabin indefinitely, but both realized there could be no firm plans for their own future until Caliban’s safety had been assured. That would require their return to San Francisco, and it posed more problems than either liked to think about.
Starting a zoo on Noah’s land meant having it rezoned or getting a special permit from the city, neither of which was going to be simple. There was also the matter of explaining her possession of Cal: she had no bill of sale, and had transported the animal across the country, breaking various laws in every state she’d passed through.
Cal’s wasn’t the only future in doubt.
She didn’t mention it to Noah, but he brought the subject up himself when they were packing the van. It was late afternoon: they were timing their return trip to reach home just before dawn.
“We need a bill of sale,” he said abruptly.
Alex was kneeling just inside the van, arranging boxes to leave room for the pets. She glanced through the door at Noah, then briefly beyond him to where Cal and Buddy lay sprawled a few feet away in the sunlight. “Maybe we can get by without one,” she said, knowing just how impossible it would be to obtain.
Noah handed her a small box and frowned as he watched her get it into place with the others. “You know better than that. One of the first questions someone’s going to ask is where we got Cal. We’ll have to get a vet to look at him too: they’ll require a health certificate.” He studied her averted face for a moment. “Is there any chance at all of getting a bill of sale? The circus owner—”
She was shaking her head. “The circus disbanded a couple of years ago, and all the animals were sold. I heard on the grapevine that the owner headed immediately for Europe. I believe he had tax problems.”
“Grapevine?”
“Circus grapevine. Just because I no longer work in one doesn’t mean I’ve lost interest in the circus. Whenever one came into town, I visited. And circus people are always friendly to one of their own.”
“How friendly?” he asked slowly.
Alex sat back on her heels and stared at him. “You have something in mind?”
“Maybe.” Noah sat just inside the van. He smiled crookedly. “Since we’ve already broken the law—several laws, in fact—I’m not about to balk at breaking another if it’ll ensure Cal’s future. How about you?”
Very dryly she said, “I’m facing a few stiff fines and a possible jail term: what’s one more broken law?”
“A very small broken law,” Noah said absently, frowning in obvious thought. “And we wouldn’t be the only ones breaking it. That—to coin a phrase—is the rub. Whether it works will depend on just how friendly circus people are to their own. Would a circus person who was a stranger to you be willing to help us save Cal?”
She saw where he was heading. “You mean would one of them fake a bill of sale?”
“What d’you think?”
“If,” Alex said slowly, “it was a small circus, someone might. It depends. Circus people are individuals—some have more scruples than others.”
Noah smiled at that remark. Then he got to his feet. “Well, it’s the only out I can see. Without a bill of sale we’re sunk. With one at least we’ll be standing on partially legal ground.” He reached for the last box. “So tell me—how do we find a circus between here and San Francisco?”
Alex took the box and placed it with the others, smiling. “We find a phone,” she said briskly.
“Whom do we call?” he asked in a rueful tone.
“A lady I know. She was a circus performer back when it really meant something; she keeps up with the whereabouts of every circus in existence.”
“Is that possible?”
“It is for her. Every circus, from Ringling Brothers on down, keeps her on their mailing list. She has schedules and programs that are up-to-date, and lots of people write to tell her the latest gossip. Believe me, she’ll know where the nearest circus is.”
They had to take a chance and leave the cabin earlier than planned. Both were uneasy over the prospect of hauling a lion around in a van for as much as a couple of days, depending on where the nearest circus could be found, but they had little choice. They could hardly leave the pets alone in the cabin.
They found a phone as quickly as possible since the lady Alex meant to call lived in the Midwest—another time zone. The old pay phone was at a small convenience store off the beaten path, and Noah pulled the van close; he remained inside and kept a wary eye on passersby. And he listened with interest to Alex’s side of the conversation; he could hear her easily since she’d left the booth’s door open.
“Sassy? Hi, it’s Alex. I know I promised to call, but things have been a little crazy. Yes, I moved to San Francisco, and that’s part of the reason I’m calling now. I want to settle there permanently. Well, I ha
ve a small problem. You remember Caliban? Oh, he’s fine, but I have to make him legal. I need someone to write up a bill of sale. Yes. A circus, I thought. Somewhere near San Francisco.”
Noah watched her face as she listened intently, and saw it brighten.
“It’s in Stockton? Didn’t Carlos sign up with Cordova? I thought so. That’s perfect, Sassy! He owes me. That time in Kansas City, you remember? He should be all healed by now.” Alex laughed suddenly. “I’ll remind him! And I’ll be calling you soon, Sassy. Yes. Thanks a lot. ’Bye.”
Noah waited until she’d returned to the passenger seat. “I gather this lady knows about Cal?”
“She’s one of the few people who does.”
“And who is Carlos?” he asked politely.
Alex was smiling, her eyes bright. “Someone who owes me a favor,” she said, clearly relishing the thought. “Head for Stockton: the Cordova circus is in town.”
Pulling the van out onto the highway, Noah sent her a glance. “Not to belabor a point, but why does he owe you a favor?”
“I pulled a Bengal tiger off him,” Alex said calmly.
After a moment, when he could trust his voice, Noah said, “I see. I gather he was in the process of getting hurt?”
“Mauled is more like it. That tiger hated men, and Carlos didn’t believe me when I told him that. He went into the cage before I could stop him. There wasn’t time to go for the tranquilizer gun, so I had to go in after him.”
“And you pulled the tiger off him—with your bare hands?”
“Seemed the thing to do at the time.”
Noah shook his head. “My darling sprite, if you ever do something like that around me, I’ll lock you up. If I don’t die of heart failure first.”
“It was my job, Noah, and I knew what I was doing.” Avoiding an argument, she went on hastily. “The point is, Carlos said he’d do anything he could to repay me. And he has a true Latin tongue; if he can’t talk Cordova into providing us with a bill of sale, I don’t know him.”
“But you do know him,” Noah said.
Alex looked at him in surprise. “If I didn’t know you better, I could swear …”