“I think you’re right.”
“And... when he called me, he said he’d just learned of my release. No, I don’t think it was him.”
“Any other ideas?” Courtney asked.
“No, not really, but whoever did it, took quite a risk. Not just with Tony, but also with Governor Bosley. That isn’t all; Jane could’ve refused to file the petition. There were a lot of pieces of a puzzle that needed to fall into place.” Claire sipped her wine and settled against the soft sofa cushions, “I don’t know who my angel is or how it all worked; I’m just thankful it did.”
“I can’t believe Jane Allyson gave you the money. Was that your angel’s request?”
“I don’t think so. I think it was supposed to be her payment for filing the petition. I tried to refuse the check, but she said it was a ridiculous amount of money for such a small amount of work. Apparently, the petition was complete except for her signature. All she did was sign and walk it to the governor’s office.” Claire took another drink. “I don’t mean all-- obviously that’s a lot. But, she told me to consider it seed money to start my new life and pay her an appropriate fee. I could hardly refuse. I really believed I had nothing.”
Courtney’s eyes glistened. “You did have something, didn’t you?”
“I did.” Claire answered slyly. “It was actually Emily’s idea. I hadn’t considered selling my jewelry and had no idea of its value.”
“Do you miss it?”
“No! – Oh,” Claire played with the rim of her wine glass, “I answered that too quickly. As you know, I haven’t worn any of it for over a year. The rings were beautiful and when I received them, I loved them. Wedding rings are supposed to be a symbol of a feeling. Without the feeling, they’re just metal and stones.” A little more empathically, “I always disliked the journey necklace.”
“Really? It was lovely and you wore it often.”
“Yes, I did.” Claire allowed the rim of her glass to loiter on her lips, less than a subtle hint she’d said all she was saying on the subject.
“And, the earrings?”
“They were beautiful too. Tony gave them to me for my birthday, right after that party we all attended. Remember, at Eli and MaryAnn’s?”
Courtney knew, from the copy of the preliminary brief Brent obtained, what happened in California. She knew when Tony and Claire were alone on that trip he’d physically abused her. Claire didn’t know she knew. Courtney planned to share that during this visit, however, now didn’t feel right. “I remember the party. Afterwards, the two of you went to Yosemite, right?”
“Yes.” Claire’s expression lightened as her lips turned upward and her eyes began to sparkle. “I’ve considered buying myself some diamond studs. Everyone needs a nice pair, don’t you think?”
Courtney smiled, seeing her friend’s pride, discussing her ability to do as she pleased. “Well, yes! Everyone needs a nice pair of diamond studs!” Courtney agreed.
Courtney also talked about Tim and Sue. Their baby, Sean, just turned one! She showed Claire a picture on her phone from his first birthday party.
“I can’t believe their son is actually one. I’ve missed so much.”
“Honey,” Courtney’s voice reflected her look of concern, “there’re some people who truly believe you tried to kill him.”
Claire looked down into her glass. “I assumed.”
“Just so you know, I’m not one.”
“Brent?”
“No. He doesn’t believe it either. Let’s just say, we have a different perspective than most.”
Claire reached out and grabbed Courtney’s hand. Her green eyes glistened as tears teetering on the rims. “Thank you, for believing in me. I know I can’t prove it. But just knowing there’re people who believe me and support me; it means the world.”
They cried and laughed. They chatted, laughed some more, and cried some more. When the sun rose they were both exhausted. Sleepily they stood at the railing and watched the dark sky fill with light as a red hue spilled across the Gulf of Mexico. Eventually, the red became orange, brightening the sky until the black became blue. They both agreed; sleep was in order.
So many memories of their friendship filled Claire’s mind as she settled into the queen sized bed. Instantaneously, sleep overtook her.
Unbelievably, she didn’t stir until after 1 PM. Looking at the clock, she couldn’t believe the time. Walking into the empty living room she found a note:
Hi Honey – I’m at the pool. There’s coffee in the pot. Before you come join me, please look at some papers on the kitchen table. I hoped it would be easier for you to read this without me looking over your shoulder. Brent accidently received this information via Marcus Evergreen. He never should’ve had it, read it, or shared it with me. There’d probably be stiff legal ramifications if it were discovered. Of course, Tony doesn’t know we have it or read it. Those ramifications don’t need to be said, we all know they’d be stiff. Please know we love you and believe every word. I hope you’ll come down and talk to me when you’re finished.
Love – Cort
Although, only about seven yards from the living room to the kitchen, Claire’s feet suddenly weighed a ton apiece; with each step, her goal seemed farther away. She could see the binder thick with pages. At one time, before she married Tony, he showed her the article written by Meredith Banks, and another time, he had the news release of Simon’s death. Both of those experiences came rushing back. Claire wasn’t sure what the binder held. Somehow, she knew, it wasn’t good.
Sitting her mug of coffee and muffin on the table, she exhaled and opened the binder. Inside she read: January 31, 2012, Paul Task, Attorney At Law - Preliminary brief - State of Iowa vs. Rawlings, Claire. Claire thumbed through the pages, catching a word here and a phrase there. She didn’t need to read it word for word, she’d spoken it. Hell -- she’d lived it. The account of her life with Tony, the truth, was right there in black and white. It wasn’t all inclusive, that was even stated, but it was descriptive. From her abduction, to his abuse, his punishments, his controlling nature, her near death accident, his change of behavior, their marriage, his control, his domination… and the reason she drove away from the estate. At two thirty her cup was empty and the muffin was cold, stiff, and still wrapped in a shiny tin.
Claire stared at the open binder and wondered what to do, what to say. Other than outsiders, her attorneys and Dr. Warner, she hadn’t discussed any of this with anyone. She felt a twinge of panic, if Tony finds out that they know... Oh God! It’s a direct violation of his rules.
Leaving the binder open she went to her bedroom to put on her bathing suit. Claire realized this was the information Courtney wanted to share-- in person. She really did know. Claire remembered the cathartic feeling she experienced when divulging all of this to her attorneys. However, with Dr. Warner it was different. Claire felt ashamed, like it was somehow her fault; she allowed all these things to happen. Dr. Warner agreed, well -- in so many words. Claire allowed Tony to dominate her.
How could she face Courtney and look in her eyes, knowing she had allowed herself to be abused and had lied?
Claire meant to go to the pool. However, somewhere during the process of getting ready, she collapsed on her bed and released years of suppressed tears. They didn’t stop. Unknowingly, she drifted to sleep wearing her new white bikini. Wakefulness came with the sensation of a warm soft hand rubbing her exposed back. She didn’t turn around. Instead she kept her face buried in the damp soft pillow and choked out her apology, “I’m so sorry.”
Claire expected compassion. Instead Courtney’s voice was stern, “You are sorry?” Heavy emphasis on you, “Claire, please turn around.” Slowly she did. Courtney looked at her puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. “Girl – what in the hell do you have to be sorry for? It seems to me, the rest of us are the ones who should be sorry!”
It didn’t make sense to Claire. She was the one who allowed Tony to abuse her. She was the one who lied to everyone
, especially Courtney. How many times did Courtney ask Claire if everything was all right? And every time, she lied.
The tears resumed, “I lied to you. I lied to you -- many times. I let things happen.”
“Honey, everyone lets thing happen around Anthony Rawlings. What were you supposed to do? Do you think if you’d stood up to him more, he’d have backed down?” Claire couldn’t answer. She didn’t want to discuss any of this. It made her head hurt. “Let me tell you something, it may not be physical -- like you endured -- but we’re all victims of your ex-husband. Do you think for a minute we would’ve let you go to jail, much less to prison, if we weren’t scared of what Tony might do?”
Claire stared at Courtney in disbelief, wiping her nose with the back of her hand, Claire asked, “What do you mean, scared?”
“I mean scared, like frightened. We’re putting all of our cards on the table, right?” Claire nodded; Courtney continued, “We all know Tony has power – a lot of power. Brent isn’t ready to retire, and there’s no way he can walk away from Tony. Besides, most of our money is tied up in Rawlings Industries’ stock, or it was. We never discussed a fear of physical retaliation, but Brent convinced me our lives and possibly those of our children would suffer unseen consequences if we came clean about this information.”
“How long have you known?”
“Since before your divorce. The file was on a pen drive from Evergreen’s office. Like my note said, it shouldn’t have been there, and Brent shouldn’t have read it.”
Claire turned her head into the soft pillow and exhaled. Slowly, she sat and looked her friend in the eye. She truly was at a loss for words and completely uncomfortable with the mixture of emotions swirling inside her chest.
“Claire, I understand why you didn’t tell me. I wish you would’ve. I had this feeling things were different than they appeared. Truthfully, I had no idea the enormity of the situation. I understand you couldn’t say anything.”
“If I would’ve, I wouldn’t have been allowed to see you.” A sob came from somewhere deep, buried under years of suppression. “I needed you.”
The two women hugged like never before. After a time Courtney started to laugh, “Aren’t you glad you came all this way, for all this fun?”
Claire looked into her honest blue eyes now reddened like her own and snickered, “At this moment, I’m not too sure.”
“I am. I needed you to know what we know. I needed you to know we understand. And, if for some reason you feel responsible, or like you deserved something, anything that happened to you… you’re sadly mistaken. I told you once; I loved and hated your husband. That’s still probably true. He’s capable of wonderful things. We just never knew the extent to which he’s capable of terrible things.”
Courtney continued, “Claire, you’re a saint for loving him despite all of that. Please, never think you deserved any of it. No one should endure what that brief says you endured.” Courtney shook her head, “The thing I keep thinking is -- I really believed he loved you. I believed you loved him too. As his friends, we worried about a woman wanting him for his money. I never got that feeling from you.”
“I wish I could explain it.” Claire replied, “Hell -- I wish I could explain it to myself. When I met him, I didn’t know who he was. Even after he took me to his house, I didn’t know who he was. Believe me, I hated him. I told him how much I hated him, multiple times. Maybe it was the isolation; I didn’t have contact with anyone but him. Yet, overtime I did love him, or I thought I loved him. And, he did get better, a lot better.” Claire smiled a sad smile. “I think it’s true. Love and hate are very close emotions, both intense and consuming. Even after he left me in jail, and still today, I find myself struggling with those two emotions.” Claire shook her head. “I know it doesn’t make sense. It’s just that when he was good, he could be so good. When he wasn’t… It was just... there was always so much stress and pressure.” Claire thought about Brent. “I think you do understand. I think if anyone would, it would be Brent and you. I’ve seen that same stress on Brent’s face.”
Courtney nodded, “I’m glad you believe me. We wanted to help you. We weren’t sure it would pay-off. Honey, it wasn’t throwing away our money. It was more than worth it!”
Claire sat straight. Her mouth gaped with surprise. Finally words came from her lips, “Oh my god, it was you?” Courtney nodded again. “Of course, the petition was filled out. An attorney would know how to do that. Brent’s an attorney.” Claire’s voice sounded shrill with amazement and gratitude. “Let me pay you back. I can now. I sold the jewelry.”
“No. Consider it guilt money. We were so helpless, wanting to do anything to stop what was happening to you -- like you said, it was a risk -- a good risk that paid off.”
Claire hugged her again. “So it’s true, Brent does believe me.”
“I said he did.”
“Yes, I know you said... but he really does. It’s just when he came to the prison…”
Courtney interrupted, “Tony warned him. He said the tapes from those visitors’ rooms were available for a price. He told Brent the visit was strictly business.”
“Did Tony ever watch the video?”
Courtney smiled, “I don’t know. Brent hoped he would.”
“Why?”
“Because, when Brent came home he was so impressed by you. He didn’t know what to expect and didn’t want to face you.”
“He didn’t have a choice, did he?”
“No, he didn’t. Yet, afterwards he was glad he went. He talked about your strength, resilience, and determination. I don’t know if you remember, but you told him to tell Tony to bring on the liable case, that you’d be glad to testify to a larger audience.” Claire grinned and nodded, she’d said that. “Of course, Tony wouldn’t tell Brent what warranted such a case, but Brent knew. He also knew – there was no way Tony would pursue it. It was some stupid mind game. Honestly, we don’t know if it was meant to hurt you or Brent, but I can tell you, it inspired Brent.”
“Inspired?” Claire asked.
“Yes, we knew before then we wanted to distance ourselves and Caleb from Rawlings Industries. Seeing your strength, being away from him – in prison no less -- has been a constant reminder to us to stay the course.”
“I’m glad. I remember feeling bad for Brent when he left.” Claire’s eyes were drying. She couldn’t believe she had this support – from Tony’s closest friends.
The two ladies went to the pool and ate lunch. They lounged on chairs at the beach and sipped drinks. They walked along the shore and talked about everything. Claire even told Courtney about her mixed feelings regarding Tony. She hated what he did. Nevertheless, sometimes she’d remember good times and miss him too. Claire knew he wanted to see her and the idea terrified her. She wasn’t afraid of a physical threat; she was doing everything she could do to avoid a repeat of that history. Honestly, it was her own resolve she questioned. If the charming, loving, friendly Tony approached her – she wasn’t sure she could resist him.
Claire told Courtney about the dinner invitation. Surprisingly, Courtney didn’t try to dissuade her. A few weeks ago a similar subject caused an argument with Amber. Claire reasoned; Courtney knows Tony and truly understands.
During the course of the four days Claire told Courtney all about Tony’s box, his confession of sorts. She hadn’t planned to divulge, but sharing felt too liberating. She explained why Tony came for her in the first place, all stemming from her grandfather’s help convicting his grandfather for multiple white collar crimes. “It’s like everyone connected to the scenario thirty years ago and their family has been made to pay, even Tony’s parents.”
“Do you think he hurt his own parents?”
“I did at first. Maybe it’s just wishful thinking, but now I’m not sure. I think he had some influence over my parent’s death or maybe it was coincidental?”
“I had no idea Rawlings wasn’t his birth name. I wonder if Brent knows.”
&nb
sp; “I think Tony also had some influence with Simon Johnson’s death. It’s too coincidental, him dying after I saw him in Chicago.”
Courtney shook her head. “I knew he was capable of a lot, but I can’t believe how deep this all goes. He really sent you pictures showing he’s been watching you for years before you ever met him?” Claire nodded. “What about Emily? If he’s getting everyone related to your grandfather, wouldn’t he do something to her too?”
“I think he did. I mean not personally. But by hurting me and John, he hurt Emily.”
Courtney confirmed, Brent told her Tony was responsible for John’s difficulties. “Is it done?” Courtney asked, “Is there anyone else he believes deserves to pay?”
“I don’t know. I mean he seems to be after me again.” Claire shrugged, “I don’t know if he thinks I didn’t suffer enough. Or, maybe he thinks I did. Perhaps, he believes his vendetta is over and I’ll want to resume our relationship. Thankfully, Emily and I are the only descendants left of our grandfather.”
“Well, Honey, only you can decide what to do.” Smiling with blue eyes shining, Courtney continued. “Just remember, this time it’ll be your decision.” Then as an afterthought, “I guess be glad you don’t have cousins.”
“Yeah, I’d hate to think of anyone else enduring what I did.”
“Now, tell me more about this Harry guy. He’s kind of cute in the pictures I’ve seen in magazines.”
Claire blushed, “He’s just a friend. But you’re right, he’s kind of cute. I’d say his most endearing quality is he’s nothing like Tony.”
“So?”
“So, nothing, we’re friends. He’s Amber’s brother and has been very helpful with rebuilding my life and researching Tony’s past.”
“Sure, I believe you.”
Watching the waves flatten the sand, Claire confessed, “And... he might be an excellent kisser, but I can honestly say nothing more has happened.”