His grip loosened upon the innocent wheel as he contemplated her words.
When they reached Tony’s estate, he left the Mercedes sitting in front of the steps, gallantly opened Claire’s door, and kissed her hand. Earlier, in the dashboard light she’d watched the man she’d once loved fight his emotions. The intensity in his black eyes and grip upon the soft leather steering wheel no longer frightened her. Hadn’t Catherine asked her to see how hard he is trying? Claire did. And now, that same gorgeous man had her hand at his lips with an equal but different intensity in his gaze. The aura surrounding them wasn’t about laptops or airplane tickets but about pure and simple desire. She could over analyze; however, the way his lips electrified her skin and melted her insides, nullified any arguments she could form.
They walked hand in hand into the house. At the base of the grand staircase, Tony hesitantly whispered, “I suppose this is good-night?”
She stretched her toes allowing her lips to linger on his. When she pulled away, she suckled his neck, just above his perfectly starched collar. Tony’s grasp of her small waist tightened as a low groan escaped his clenched teeth. “That’s up to you.” Claire purred, “I don’t plan on using that lock.”
With their fingers entwined, they made their way toward her suite. At the door, Tony stopped to kiss the woman before him. “There is more for us to discuss....”
Claire’s finger touched his lips. She watched as the pressed straight line below her touch slowly formed a sensual grin. With her face tilted upward she whispered, “Tonight is about us... non-charade, non-performance. If you want something different, go downstairs.”
The copper walls and satin drapes were different, but the suite was the same. It held so many memories. Their history was made within these walls. Yet, as they came together it didn’t feel like the past. It felt new, rejuvenated, consensual, and real.
Their bodies united like they’d never been apart, but their roles were different.
Prison and being away hardened Claire. No longer could she trust without question or believe without confirmation. That didn’t mean she couldn’t trust or believe – it meant she needed the ability to question without fear and confirm on her own terms. As she surrendered to his erotic caresses, Claire pushed the questions away. Right now their carnal needs demanded attention. She craved what only he could give.
With all his entrepreneurial success, Tony’s private life had been anything but. He never wanted love. Why would he? He wasn’t even sure it existed, until her -- the woman now willingly beneath him. Her beautiful eyes saw into his soul. And her petite body dominated his mind. Somehow despite all of his mistakes and manipulation, Tony was once again where he longed to be. He wanted to control her and limit her access to his past and his heart. However, he knew it was too late. She’d managed to open places he didn’t know existed. And now they had a child coming. He felt his power slipping through his fingers. Nevertheless, as her eyes opened and Tony watched the shimmering emerald irises glow and her lips form a smile, he no longer cared.
Hope is the dream of a waking man.
- Aristotle
Chapter 49
Claire didn’t knock, and she didn’t enter reverently. The sudden rush of his office door made Tony turn toward the commotion. His emails could wait. Her displeasure radiated throughout the room before she uttered a word.
“Tony, what the hell have you done?”
“What are you talking about?”
“After I got dressed, I checked my emails. One is a confirmation of my airline reservation cancellation.” She stood defiantly before him, “I did not cancel my reservation. I called the airline. They informed me my seat was sold. They have no open seats for my original flight or any others until tomorrow. I told you -- I was going back to California today; you promised me!”
He smirked, taking her tirade too well and fueling Claire’s anger. “I promised you,” he said with a smooth calm voice, “a return ticket. I am a man of my word; you have a ticket.”
“A voided ticket --semantics! I want to be on that flight!”
“Claire, listen to reason.” He gestured toward the chairs, “Have a seat.”
She looked at the straight backed chairs near his desk. How many times had she sat in those seats while he rattled off rules or perimeters for her behavior?
“No.” As the word left her lips, she watched the muscles in his neck tighten and his eyebrow rise.
“Very well, stand if you prefer. How are you feeling today?”
Claire glared. “You’re not changing the subject. I’m going home.”
“I hoped you would consider yourself home.”
Claire exhaled, paced the length of the desk and back, and collapsed into one of the chairs she’d just refused. “Tony, why do you have to push and push?” Exasperation came through her tone, “I truly have had a wonderful weekend, and I’ve surprisingly enjoyed being on your estate. But I have a life. I have plans. Amber is leaving for a conference, and I want to see her before she leaves. John and Emily will be in Palo Alto Monday. They’re spending four days looking for housing. I need to be there.”
“Amber is leaving? You will be alone?”
She misinterpreted his question, “I will not be with anyone in public, if that’s what you’re asking.”
His voice hardened, “That goes without saying. I’m asking -- will you be alone?” His volume rose, “Christ, Claire! Your condominium was broken into. It isn’t safe!”
“You are trying to scare me into staying. I’m not falling for it. My building has top notch security, Harry is utilizing more SiJo resources, and then there are always your people watching me. I lead a damn parade!”
“Your laptop was stolen.”
“Stuff happens – it isn’t cause to stop living.”
He tried to reason, “We have plans beginning Friday in Chicago. In your condition, you shouldn’t be flying all over the country.” She pressed her lips tightly together. The words forming in her head were not appropriate and would not add positively to their conversation. He exhaled and added, “In a commercial plane. Do you know how many people get ill after breathing that recycled air?”
“You’re really stretching here. Tell me, how I’m getting back to California today?”
He sighed, “I want to take you back upstairs and lock that door,” his eyes glared as he added with excessive emphasis, “from the outside.”
Claire stood and walked toward him. Her closed lips formed a soft smile as she peered deep into his dark eyes. There was a time the expression before her would have frightened her, that was no longer the case. Framing his freshly shaven face between her petite hands, she bent toward him. Their noses touched, and she brushed her lips to his. “Tony, I believe you. I know that’s what you want. I drove to town yesterday, and I came back.” She kissed him again. “I will go to California today, and I will be back to Chicago on Friday. Remember what we said the other night?” She didn’t wait for his answer, “We said we needed to trust each other.”
He closed his eyes and nodded; his face still in her hands.
She continued in her soft and steady voice, “I trust you not to lock my suite from the outside. You need to trust me to return.”
He reached out and encircled her waist, caressing the small of her back, above her slacks and beneath her blouse. She allowed herself to be pulled onto his lap. In response, she embraced his neck and listened to his gentler tone. “You don’t need to believe me. I know I need to earn that right. But I did not have anything to do with the break-in. It wasn’t a plan to scare you into staying here. I’m concerned,” he kissed her lips and moved his hands to her stomach. “And not just for you.”
Claire lowered her face to his broad shoulder as tears formed, “Thank you. From the moment I saw the little blue plus, I’ve been concerned, too. You have to know, I will do anything necessary to keep me and our baby safe. I just need to be in California, especially this week. I have a lot going on.”
&nbs
p; “What if I told you, you shouldn’t have a lot going on? You deserve to rest and allow others to do for you. If Catherine knew about the baby, you’d never lift another finger.”
Claire suddenly remembered the two computerized pictures she had in the pocket of her slacks. “I have something to show you.”
He raised his brow, “Oh?”
She ignored his reference and removed the ultrasound picture from the pocket of her slacks. Tony’s eyes widened with wonder. “Is this what I think it is?”
Claire nodded, barely able to contain her emotion. “Yes, it’s our little one’s first picture.”
“I want her to have your eyes.” He declared.
Claire smiled. “I know you are used to getting your way, but sex and eye color are non-negotiable.”
“I don’t know ... sex sounds great and I love your eyes.” His twinkled, “Would you like to negotiate?”
Claire shook her head, feeling the blush on her cheeks. “How am I getting...” she almost said home, but rephrased, “back to California.”
“The same way you’re getting to Chicago -- in a private plane. It’s a safer mode of transportation, with no public record of your itinerary.”
She exhaled with relief and thanked him. Tony explained the time of departure was negotiable, but asked that she stay in Iowa until after they share an early dinner. Claire chose not to argue. She was leaving; time was inconsequential.
Claire went back to her suite, finished packing, and called Amber and Harry, telling them her change in plans. Unfortunately, she would miss Amber. Her roommate promised to return on Thursday, before Claire needed to leave again. Another problem created by her new itinerary was her car. It was parked at San Francisco International Airport. She would now be flying into the private commuter airport in Palo Alto.
“I can take a SiJo car into San Francisco and bring your car back,” Harry offered as they spoke on the phone.
“Thank you, but I’ll just take a taxi home and get my car tomorrow when I pick John and Emily up from the airport.”
“No, Claire, I’ll be glad to get you. Just text me with the time of your departure.”
She inhaled. Claire knew she and Harry needed to talk. Nevertheless, she didn’t want to face him, yet. “I don’t want to put you out.”
He hesitated; Claire heard his heavy sigh. Finally he asked, “Will you text?”
“Yes, thank you.” After customary and polite good-byes, they both disconnected. Her recently settled stomach tied in knots, in anticipation of their discussion.
Claire walked onto her balcony and leaned against the concrete and stone ledge. She had a few hours before their afternoon dinner and the air was warming nicely. Her clothes were packed, but she knew there were bathing suits in the dressing room. Watching the gentle rustling of the leaves in the vast sea of green, she lifted her face to the sun and felt the warm breeze against her skin. While she debated a swim, she heard a knock on the door.
Claire called into her suite, “Come in.”
Catherine entered. “You are leaving?”
Catherine’s sad grey eyes tugged at Claire’s heart. She reached for the kind woman’s hands. “Yes, and I’ll be back. Thank you, for all you’ve done to make my visit special.”
Claire saw a spark of hope as Catherine asked, “You’ll be back?”
“I will... I believe you. He is trying.”
Catherine smiled a satisfied smile, until they both turned toward the opening of Claire’s door. Tony performed a perfunctory knock as he pushed the door further open. “Oh, am I interrupting?”
Claire walked to Tony and took his hand. “No,” her emerald eyes gleamed toward him, “but since you’re here...?”
He looked at her, questioning, “Yes?”
“I think I’d like to share something with Catherine, but not without you.”
His features softened as a glow overtook his face.
“Catherine, I suggest you sit.” Tony suggested.
She did. And although her expression revealed alarm or suspense, she didn’t speak.
Claire reached into her pocket, removed their baby’s picture, and handed it to Catherine. The woman took the ultrasound picture and stared. Finally her eyes widened and for the second time, Claire saw tears form on her lids. “You are pregnant?” She asked Claire, who nodded in response. Then turning to Tony and seeing his proud expression, Catherine continued, “The two of you?” She sprang from the sofa and embraced Claire. “Oh my, a Rawls - Nichols baby. I can’t believe it.”
Claire allowed herself to be swallowed by Catherine’s embrace. Looking to Tony she was instantly surprised by his expression. The smile that was present only seconds ago was gone. Why is he glaring? Claire wondered. She’s happy – what’s his problem?
Claire and Tony decided to spend a few hours at the pool while they waited for dinner. With the rising humidity, the tepid water felt wonderfully refreshing. When Claire wasn’t submerged, she sat with her feet dangling in the cool blue liquid and enjoyed the view of Tony swimming the length of the pool and back. His strong arms fanned outward as he pushed against the water. The muscles in his back, shoulders, and arms defined with each stroke.
In the light of the sun, Claire noticed a few renegade gray hairs in Tony’s black mane. She thought it made him look distinguished. However, with his recent age comment, she chose not to mention them. When he surfaced at her feet, she giggled as he pretended to pull her into the water. Just when she thought she was safe, he stood and scooped her into his arms. All of her squealing was to no avail.
After a few playful moments of feigned fighting, she relaxed, and floated in his arms. The sun bathed her exposed skin as he supported her shoulders and legs. His words were a statement, intended as a question, “I want to show you something.”
“I’m curious.” She asked with a seductive smile. “Is it something I’ve seen before?”
He returned her sparkling gaze, “Yes, but not what you’re thinking.”
It was her turn to raise an eyebrow. He led her up the steps and out of the pool. The afternoon heat made for a smooth transition from water to air. The breeze only dried their skin as they walked to one of the umbrella tables. Sitting knee to knee, Tony reached into the pocket of his bathing suit. Claire gasped as her eyes adjusted to the umbrella’s shadow. In Tony’s outstretched palm, sparkling in the reflection of the June brilliance was Claire’s engagement ring, the one she sold.
Only her eyes moved as she looked from his hand to his face. Was he mad? What was he going to say? How did he get it? So many thoughts assaulted her mind. His true intent was not even on her radar.
Despite her concerns, his expression seemed soft-- almost fearful.
“Tony, how did you...?”
“I bought them back.”
Her stomach twisted, “I’m sorry. I needed money....’
He interrupted, “If I gave them back, will you promise not to sell them?”
“Why would you give them back?” she asked in all sincerity.
“Do I need to get on one knee? I suppose I didn’t do that the first time.”
She stood suddenly and backed away, almost tripping over the heavy iron chair. If she’d made him speechless with her pregnancy announcement, he’d certainly returned the favor with his proposal. Finally, as her eyes remained large, she said, “No, I’m not ready for anything like that.”
His eyes dropped. “No, never – or no, not yet.”
She saw his pain and instinctively moved forward. Kneeling before him, she said, “Tony, slow down. I told you, I like the dating thing... we never did that. Please don’t push too hard. In the last week we’ve survived a major game changer. I think we need to proceed with caution.” Everyone knows the game of chess requires planning and strategizing. Making moves too quickly often proves lethal for the offending piece.
He reached for her left hand and slipped the diamond ring onto her fourth finger. Prisms of color and light radiated from the large center stone
as the smaller diamonds sparkled around its perimeter and from the embedded band. Of course it fit. It was hers. With a mischievous smile, Tony said, “I just wanted to make sure it still fit.”
Removing the platinum engagement ring, she handed it back to him. “I appreciate the offer. Don’t make me give you a definite answer. If I do, you won’t be happy. Let’s be content with what we have, for now.”
Reluctantly he accepted the ring. Holding her hand he bent his head and kissed her fingers, one by one. The warm sensation began where his lips contacted her skin and immediately radiated throughout her body. As he suckled each finger he confessed, “I have made some bad decisions... and done some things I regret in my life... but without a doubt... what I regret the most... is divorcing you.” His penetrating gaze held her emerald eyes captive. “If you tell me there is hope, that one day you’ll be Mrs. Rawlings again, I will wait.”
She didn’t reply. She was busy enjoying the sensation of his lips. It started with her fingers, moved to her hand, arm, shoulder, and by the time he reached the nape of her neck, Claire was moaning and lost to the world around her.
“May I get you out of this wet suit, Ms. Nichols?” He emphasized her name.
She answered heatedly, “Yes... and Mr. Rawlings... there is always hope.”
Text message, from Claire’s iPhone to Harry’s number: THE PLANE IS ABOUT TO TAKE OFF FROM IOWA CITY. IT’S A LITTLE AFTER 4. SHOULD BE IN PALO ALTO AROUND 6:15 OR 6:30 PT. She hit send. Then thinking about it more she wrote a second message: THANK YOU FOR PICKING ME UP.
She settled into the plush white leather of the reclining chair and fastened her seatbelt. Closing her eyes she tried to think about Harry; however, her thoughts continually returned to Tony.
The copilot, a woman Claire didn’t know, spoke. The competent voice returned Claire from her daydreams. “Ms. Nichols, we are about to take-off. If you’d like to make any calls or send any messages, please complete them in the next few minutes. Once we are at cruising altitude I will be happy to get you anything you need.”