He sighed and sat again on her bedside. “You were very tired, but you were talking. You mentioned something about a dream. I may be guilty of taking advantage of a tired woman, but nothing else.”
“How did you get back in the condo? I remember closing and locking the door.”
“You closed it, but you didn’t lock it. Or, it didn’t lock. I came back to say something, and I heard something fall. It sounded like it broke. I listened but didn’t hear anything else. So, I decided to check on you. The door opened.” He confessed, “I didn’t knock. You were on the couch. I carried you to your bedroom. I can say with honorable intentions, but that wouldn’t be entirely true. Claire, I asked you multiple times. You never said no.”
She sighed, “I remember wanting you. I’d spent half the night dreaming about you, until I gave up and stayed awake. That’s why I was so tired.”
His smile lit her world. “You dreamt about me?”
“Yes, it was after our dinner. I hadn’t seen you since ... the jail in Iowa.”
He softly kissed her lips, and his eyes sparkled, “You dreamt about me?”
She smirked, “Yes, you egotistical narcissist. I did.”
“I’ve dreamt about you, too. I think it may have something to do with seeing your beautiful face above my fireplace every night before I fall asleep.”
The door opened, and they turned to see the nurse return. “I’m sorry, sir, Ms. Nichols needs her rest. I’m closing her door to visitors for a while.”
Tony stood with Claire’s hand still in his. “What about...?” he asked.
“I’ll tell them. I was about to tell Harry when you showed up.”
Tony turned to the nurse, “How long is a while?”
She looked to Claire. Suddenly, Claire realized the nurse was probably sent to save her. Claire replied, “I want Mr. Rawlings here whenever possible.”
The nurse spoke to Tony, “Let her sleep through the night.”
Tony nodded, “I can do that.” He bent down and kissed Claire, “I’ll be back in the morning.”
“Good. I think you look like you could use some sleep too.” Although her head hurt, her emerald eyes glistened through her bruised face.
As she turned to watch him leave, she saw four sets of eyes watching their goodbye and focusing on Tony as he politely passed their human wall. The door closed.
“Nurse, I’m sorry I don’t know your name.”
“Terri.”
“Terri?” Claire asked softly. “Could you please tell my other visitors I need rest? I really don’t have the energy to talk with any of them.”
Terri nodded, “I can do that. This medicine should help your pain and help you sleep.”
“It won’t hurt the baby?”
“No, it’s completely safe.”
Claire watched as Terri injected something into her IV. She closed her eyes and allowed the medicine to take effect as Terri walked to the hall and addressed Claire’s entourage.
Blissfully, sleep took her away.
A woman must not depend on the protection of man,
but must be taught to protect herself.
- Susan B. Anthony
Chapter 53
Claire woke to a piercing pain in her head and a throbbing ache in her side. She tried to keep herself still and evaluate the nausea building within. She remembered eating with Tony on Sunday afternoon; had she eaten since? There couldn’t be anything in her empty stomach to revolt, yet it was. She hit the nurse call button and peered out the window, attempting to divert her attentions. Her window looked over the roofs of the sprawling hospital and beyond to Stanford’s Medical Campus. Past the campus in the distance, she saw the mountains. The lightening sky and lingering fog told her morning had finally arrived. It was Wednesday and her family and friends had been waiting all night, for multiple nights.
She needed to talk to them. She knew Harry deserved a private discussion; hopefully, the others would agree to a group session. Claire didn’t relish the idea of repeating her story over and over. She turned to the sound of the opening door.
“Hello, Ms. Nichols, I’m Abbey your day nurse.”
“Please, call me Claire.”
“Claire, what can I do for you?”
Claire asked about getting up and out of the bed. After Abbey checked the chart, she assisted Claire to the bathroom. On the way, Claire worried about her reflection. She hadn’t seen herself yet. She knew from Tony’s reaction she looked as bruised as she felt. Steeling herself for the worse, she bravely faced the woman in the mirror.
Walking to and from the bathroom required help. By the time they were done, her tubes were disconnected, she was sponged clean, her teeth brushed, and thankfully, her bladder emptied. Claire would have loved to wash her hair and add makeup to cover the various shades of bruises on her checks and temples, and the deep purple under her left eye. Nevertheless, she felt better.
This was in many ways easier than her accident. Although she tried not to make comparisons, they were staring her in the face: injury to head and ribs. Ironically the injuries ensued by a crazy greedy monster were less than those obtained by the man who claimed to love her. Claire continued to remind herself, Harry stopped Patrick. What would have happened if he hadn’t -- if Tony hadn’t called Harry -- if Phil and security hadn’t come? With her accident, no one stopped Tony. He stopped himself -- eventually. The most monumental difference was internally. Following her accident, Claire lost all desire to continue forward. She remembered a black hole of apathy. She didn’t feel that way now. Despite her battered appearance, Claire’s desire to live was stronger than it had ever been. She saw hope for better tomorrows with every new day.
As Abbey helped Claire back to bed, she handed Claire a folded note. “This is for you. I was supposed to deliver it once you woke.”
Claire took the paper and opened it:
I hope you and our baby are feeling better.
Perhaps you’ll feel up to arguing your destination
following your release.
(I am definitely ready) Claire couldn’t help but smile.
I want to see you.
However, I realize you need to speak to the others and
I don’t want you to overdo. I’m staying nearby.
Call me at the number below when you’re ready
for my visit. I’ll be there in minutes.
Fighting tears, she closed the note. At one time, Tony would never have given her the time and space she needed to deal with her family and friends. Although she wanted to feel his reassuring embrace, at this moment, his absence meant more and filled her heart with reassurance.
“Is there anything else I can get you?” Abbey asked.
“I would love some food. Can I eat?”
“Yes, I’ll get you an order card. You have many people who’ve been patiently waiting. Are you ready for visitors?”
“If Mr. Baldwin is here, would you please ask him to come in?”
Claire’s pulse increased and her stomach twisted. As Harry entered, she saw his clean shirt and freshly shaven face. “You went home?”
He held her hand; the spark she’d seen in his eyes yesterday was gone, the resulting dullness infiltrated his voice, “According to the nurse you didn’t want visitors. She said you were going to sleep. I knew you and the baby were healthy, so I went home.”
“Good, I’m glad you got a good night’s sleep.”
“I went home. I didn’t say I got a good night’s sleep.”
Claire raised her eyebrows.
“Tell me, Claire, what you wanted to tell me Sunday night. It wasn’t that we are having a baby, was it?”
She squeezed his hand. “No. It wasn’t.”
His face lowered to his chest. “I knew that last night, as soon as I saw his face and your expression when he arrived.”
“Thank you for saving him from John.”
“I don’t think your ex needs saving from anyone. Although you have to admit John has legitimate reas
ons for his feelings.”
Claire knew Harry was right, and she didn’t want to rehash any of that. “Still, thanks.”
“He saved you. I don’t want to even think about the injuries you endured because I didn’t answer his first call.”
“Harry, there are plenty of medals to go around; one is definitely yours!”
“Tell me – when?” His voice now distant, “Was it the night of the gala?”
“No!” She fought the urge to be defensive. “I told you, nothing happened that night.” She took a deep breath and continued, “It was the day he came to the condominium. I don’t want to discuss it, but the ultrasound confirmed the baby is two weeks older than it could be if you were the father.”
Harry nodded. Finally, he asked, “He already knew, didn’t he?”
“Yes, I told him this past weekend. I wasn’t sure I would, but I did.”
“What else happened this past weekend?”
Claire looked down. “Harry, I can’t tell you how much your friendship has meant to me; you’ve been so supportive. I understand if you want to hate me.” She looked up into his sad expression. His blue eyes looked distant. Her heart ached knowing she was the cause, “But, I hope you won’t.”
He stood and walked toward the door, “Are you ready to tell everyone? They want to see you.”
To Harry’s credit, he didn’t let on to the others that there were issues, or that he wasn’t the father of Claire’s baby. Immediately, Emily embraced her sister and began crying. Next it was Amber’s turn. Besides telling Claire how happy they were she was all right, they both told her how delighted they were about the baby. Both couldn’t wait to be aunts. After enduring everyone’s good wishes, Claire braced herself for comments about Tony’s visit.
She decided it was better to allow everyone their say. The comments started slow and continued with increased velocity. Finally, Harry stopped the barrage, “Are any of you interested to hear Claire’s point of view?”
Although she was grateful for his support, in a way, it made her feel worse. “I let him in. I wanted him here, because things have changed.” How could Claire make her chess pieces understand? “I’m not denying any of his past sins. However, some of what we’ve assumed were his I’ve learned weren’t. But, nonetheless, I’m very much aware of all he’s done. With that said, the baby I’m carrying isn’t Harry’s.” She waited while realization came to those around her. Amber went to Harry’s side and put her arm around him.
“I’ve known since last night,” Harry told his sister, “but I thought Claire should be the one to tell everyone. I’m disappointed, but listen; she’s still having a baby, that’s a miracle.”
“Anthony’s baby?!” Emily exclaimed. “How could you?!”
“Yes,” Claire replied defensively, “your niece or nephew.”
John didn’t speak. His eyes sent daggers toward anyone willing to look his way. Finally, he walked from the room. When the door shut, Claire exhaled.
Emily used the moment to attack, “I don’t know why you’re relieved John left. I’ll have you know, your attack, injuries, and probably your pregnancy would be all over the internet and television if it weren’t for John. He immediately set about with a do not disclose order against the hospital. Your newly found friend – lover – ex-captor -- I don’t even know what to call him, took away John’s life and law license, but your brother-in-law still managed to be here for you.”
“Please, tell him thank you. What does the press know?” Suddenly she thought of Meredith. Claire didn’t want her book under production.
Harry sounded as though he were describing an unknown news story. “The police and ambulance were called to your condominium. You went to the hospital in an ambulance. An intruder was taken from your condominium after suffering deadly gunshot wounds.”
“Could someone bring me my phone? I need to call someone.”
“It’s at the condo.” Amber replied. “You’re probably coming home today, can it wait?”
Claire didn’t know. She didn’t want Meredith publishing anything prematurely.
Their conversation was interrupted by the delivery of Claire’s breakfast. She opened each plate with reserved anticipation: eggs, orange juice, toast, and tea. As she inspected the food, Abbey reentered.
“Ladies and gentleman, I understand how happy you are to have Claire and baby Nichols doing well. But, she needs her rest. I’m restricting her to two visitors at a time.”
Harry spoke first, “I need to get to work. Claire, I wish you well, and I‘m trying. We both need some time.”
Her eyes filled with tears. “Thank you.”
Amber came forward and hugged Claire. “I’m disappointed and confused. But more than anything, I’m happy you and your baby are safe.” Her smile sparkled, “I guess it wasn’t food poisoning, was it?”
Claire shook her head and smiled. “No, it wasn’t.”
“I don’t know your plans, but you can stay with me as long as you want.”
Claire remembered her impending argument with Tony. “I really don’t know what I’m going to do, but thanks for the offer.”
Once Amber left the room and Emily and Claire were alone, Emily spoke first, “What do you mean you don’t know what you’re going to do? Are you seriously considering moving back to that prison?”
Claire closed her eyes. “I don’t know. Tony wants me to move back to Iowa. I was resisting, but, after Patrick Chester, I just don’t know. At least on his estate, I’m safe and so is my baby.”
“Safe? Is that what their calling imprisonment these days?”
Claire regretted telling Emily the truth of her and Tony’s past. She thought of Tony’s recent words: You may think you’re ready for answers, but you’re not. Bits and pieces may help you understand. But, the blatant truth is too much. Claire tried to explain, “I can’t make you understand, but when I was there last week, things were different.”
“Right -- and once you decide to stay, I’m sure it will stay that way.”
“I’m going to call him. He’ll be here soon. The nurse said I can have two visitors. Emily, the choice is yours. When he arrives you can stay or go, but he’s coming. I want him here.”
The next time the door opened, an orderly entered carrying two large bouquets of flowers. The first one had a card which simply read: Tony. The second bouquet was from Courtney and Brent, with wishes for fast healing. Claire wondered if Tony told them about the baby.
Emily stayed until Tony arrived. When he did, she kissed Claire on her cheek and said, “We have more places to see today. I’ll check on you later.” She turned, made eye contact with Tony, and left.
He immediately went to Claire’s bedside, “Well, I seem to have that effect on all of your family.”
Claire’s eyebrows rose, “All? Did you see John again?”
“Briefly, he’s in the lounge down the hall.”
Wrinkling her nose in anticipation, “Did you two speak?”
“No.” Tony grinned, “I’m pretty sure if you ever decide to accept the ring I offered, he won’t give you away – again.”
Claire sat taller, “I’m not anyone’s to give away. And I don’t care any longer what others think.”
“Does that mean...” His brown eyes twinkled as he lifted her hand. When she smiled in response, she winced at the pain near her swollen eye. Tony’s voice hardened, “I wish that ass hole were still alive, so I could kill him.”
She rested her head against the pillows and closed her eyes to the pain. “It means ... we’re dating.”
Looking around the small room, Tony whispered jokingly, “This hardly seems public.”
Claire’s eyes sprang open. “I need to contact Meredith. I don’t want her to misconstrue this and think it means she can publish her book, but my phone is at the condo.”
Tony removed his iPhone from his pocket. “I have her number.”
Claire eyed him suspiciously, “How do you have her number? And now that I’m think
ing about it, how did you have Harry’s?”
He looked down, “Before I answer, you must admit the information was useful.”
“Yes, I admit that. How?”
He handed her his phone with Meredith Banks on the screen. “You just need to hit call.”
“I know how to use a phone, thank you.” She waited. She remembered how Tony didn’t like asking the same question more than once. She knew the feeling and continued to stare.
“The night of the gala I copied your contacts.”
Claire shook her head and hit call. While she spoke to Meredith another orderly entered her room with another bouquet of flowers. Tony accepted the arrangement and sat it on the large window ledge. He reached for the card and began to carry it to Claire. Suddenly, he stopped. Claire watched as he opened the envelope and the color drained from his face. She wondered if it were from Harry.
“Thank you, Meredith, our agreement is still intact.” “Yes, I’m fine.” “This had nothing to do with Tony.” “I need to go.” “Thank you, good-bye.” She disconnected the call. “Tony what is it?”
He hesitated. “I’ll be back in a minute.” He started to leave her room with the card.
“No, you don’t.” Her voice rose. “Show me that card.”
When he turned toward her, his expression was scarier than she’d seen in years. “Claire, you and our baby do not need to be concerned. I’ll find out who is responsible for this, and by the way, we are talking to your doctor about a referral for Iowa City. You are moving home as soon as you’re released.”
She didn’t want to argue. It wasn’t just his expression, the darkness of his eyes, or the determined tone. She saw fear masked under his sudden fury. “Tony,” she spoke softly. “Please let me see the card. I’m not arguing. I need to know what I need to do to protect our baby.”
Slowly he walked toward her. His furrowed brow and intense glare revealed his conflicting emotions.