“So,” Shuura murmured, breaking the silence. “Do you want to tell me why you’re actually here, Merrick? I’m guessing it isn’t because you missed this place—you were always restless on Rageron.”
Merrick sighed. “I’m restless everywhere because I don’t fucking belong anywhere. As to why we’re here…” He took a deep breath. It would have been nice to be able to keep his purpose from his kin but he would need their help if the mission was to succeed. “As to why I’m here with Elise, it’s because we need to go into the Deep Blue and bring back a skrillix branch.”
“What?” Shuura gave him a look that plainly said he must have lost his mind. “You want to take an unmated female into the Deep Blue and try to rob the Ancient Ones of their most sacred plant?”
“Nobody said anything about robbing,” Merrick growled. “I’ll pay my respects and honor their customs.”
“But you don’t know what that might entail,” Shuura protested. “You may be tested. They may even demand a sacrifice of pain. What will you do about that?”
Merrick rubbed his jaw wearily. “I’ll do whatever I have to do. I’ll take their test and give them what they want. I know it’s dangerous, Shuura, but I have to do it.”
The brother of his father shook his head. “Very well. Then Tongs and I will do our best to help you.”
“Thanks.” Merrick nodded gratefully. He was glad his kin hadn’t asked why he needed the sacred plant—that would have been a bit too awkward to explain. He fixed his eyes on Elise again, swaying gracefully as she rode on Tongs’ shoulder, and tried not to think about what the next step of their adventure might bring.
* * * * *
Elise was charmed by the small jungle town and she had a bird’s eye view of it, riding as she was on Merrick’s uncle’s shoulder. Tongs was an excellent guide, pointing out local landmarks and giving her tidbits of town gossip until she forgot to feel awkward about her precarious perch and just enjoyed the ride.
She was glad she’d changed clothes as Merrick had suggested. The air was warm and muggy and the pale blue sunshine was hot on her bare shoulders. Everything seemed to have a bluish cast to it, from the quaint thatched houses—some with trees growing out of their roofs—to the jungle itself, which surrounded the town like a loosely cupped hand.
Here and there, Elise saw the other inhabitants—all with the same black hair and golden eyes as Merrick’s uncles. There seemed to be more males than females, which she supposed was usual in any Kindred settlement. Their clothing was simple, yet beautiful—a loose, open weave which appeared to be made from some kind of plant fiber.
The garments reminded Elise of macramé and most were the same blue-gray as the rest of the jungle though some had been dyed other, more brilliant colors. She wondered what they thought of her own red sundress and matching sandals. Most of them seemed to be wearing some kind of tough leather boots, maybe for tramping in the jungle.
“Well, here we are.” Tongs came to a stop in front of a tall house with not one but two trees growing through the roof—one coming out of each end of the long structure. The thick blue-gray trunks poked through the thatch, reaching for the sky. Their branches were covered in jewel-like greenish blue leaves so large Elise could easily have used one for a blanket.
“Wow,” she said, honestly impressed. “This is amazing.”
“Our house has been doubly blessed by the Goddess.” Tongs smiled up at her, his white teeth glinting in his dark face. “And now that you’re here, my lady fair, we can count ourselves triply blessed.”
“Very nice, Tongs,” Merrick growled behind them. “But the tour’s over—you can put Elise down.”
“Not until we cross the threshold. Duck,” Tongs said, glancing up at Elise as he opened the rustic wooden door.
She did, but she didn’t have to duck very far. The doorway was high—built on a Kindred scale, just like the ship they’d traveled in to Rageron.
Inside, the house was nothing like what she’d expected. Elise had been sure the interior would be rough and unfinished—like a grass hut or a log cabin. Instead, the house had a natural grace and charm that surprised and pleased her.
On the floor was what looked like a soft blue-green carpet. But when she looked closer, Elise saw it was actually a blanket of tiny flowers and closely clipped grass. The blue-gray trunk of one of the trees that pierced the roof was situated in the middle of the living area and she noted that its branches had been clipped short, probably to keep them from filling the entire room.
The walls were smooth and pale blue and the furniture appeared to have been made from the horns and hides of animals. There were no pictures on the wall although she did see a ferocious looking animal head that looked like a cross between a bear and a bobcat with two-foot long fangs. It was mounted over the archway that appeared to lead to the kitchen and dining area. From where she was, Elise could see the trunk of the second tree was located there. It looked like a circular table had been built around it, making it a focal part of the dining room. It looks like a hunting lodge, she thought. Or some kind of bachelor pad. Indeed, there was a distinctly masculine feel to the space. For the first time, she wondered if Merrick’s uncles lived alone. And if so, why?
After allowing her a long look around, Tongs set her down gently and knelt before her. “Be at ease, my lady fair,” he murmured, looking up at her. “May I remove your shoes?”
“Oh, uh…” She glanced behind her to see Merrick glaring at the both of them. But what could she do? Tongs had been so kind to her she didn’t want to repay him with rudeness. “I guess so, if that’s the, uh, custom,” she said at last.
“My thanks.” Gently, almost seductively, Tongs cupped his big hand under her calf and lifted her foot to slide off her sandal and bare her foot. The move put Elise off balance and she had to reach out and grab his broad shoulder to keep from falling over. “Very nice,” he murmured. He started to lift the other leg but Merrick was suddenly between them.
“That’s enough, Tongs,” he snarled. “Just what the fuck are you trying to prove?”
“What do you think?” Tongs stood and returned Merrick’s glare. “I’m trying to say if she’s your female, you should treat her right. Give her the respect she’s due and don’t deny or disavow her.”
Merrick’s mismatched eyes glowed with fury. “You think I disavowed her because I wanted to?” he demanded. “You think I didn’t want to be the one to carry her on my shoulder, the one to bring her into the dwelling and remove her shoes?”
“Then why didn’t you?” Tongs said sharply. “Your scent’s all over her—and yet you say she’s not yours.”
“It’s my fault.” Elise stepped forward and almost stumbled because she had one shoe on and one shoe off. “Merrick’s scent is on me because he had to help me. I have stasis sickness—the hunger. We…we formed a bond, but it’s not a true bond and…and I’m actually engaged to someone else,” she finished in a low voice, feeling wretched.
“You see?” Merrick said roughly. “She belongs to another—I can’t claim her. We’re only here to get a branch of skrillix to break the bond between us and then we’ll leave.”
“I see.” Tongs nodded stiffly. “Forgive me, Merrick. I didn’t know. I thought you were being discourteous and wasteful of a gift from the Goddess. Now I see it was I who was discourteous.” Nodding, he turned and walked swiftly away, disappearing down a long hallway.
“You must forgive my younger brother,” Shuura said quietly after a door slammed at the other end of the house. “He lost his beloved in a plague some ten years ago, before they could be mated and he mourns her still. He thought…”
“He thought Merrick wasn’t treating me right,” Elise said miserably. “That he was disrespecting me.” When actually, it’s the other way around… She didn’t say the words aloud—she didn’t have to. When she glanced up, she saw Merrick watching her with a pain too deep for words in his mismatched eyes.
He turned quickly away. “I need a drink
. You have any fireflower juice around here, Shuura?”
“In the food prep area.” Shuura nodded toward the kitchen. “We have food as well—a feast prepared for your homecoming.”
“Thanks, but I think I lost my appetite,” Merrick growled. “Just give me a drink and I’ll be fine. Elise might be hungry, though.” He raised an eyebrow at her. "Are you, baby? Hungry?”
Elise felt her cheeks heating with a blush. She knew what he was asking and he knew that she knew. “Only…only for food.” She held Merrick’s gaze a moment longer and then turned to Shuura. “I understand you have some very interesting cuisine here on Rageron. I’d love to sample some.”
“Certainly.” Shuura nodded toward the kitchen. “This way. And please feel free to remove your other shoe.”
“Oh, thank you,” Elise began. “I’ll—” But before she could finish her sentence, Merrick had dropped to his knees before her. Without a word he lifted her leg, just as Tongs had, and slid off her sandal. He looked at her a long time, holding her eyes with his. Then he leaned down and dropped a gentle kiss on her knee. “Merrick,” she started but he shook his head. Letting her go, he rose silently and went into the kitchen.
“Oh…” Elise whispered, feeling like her heart was going to break. The look in his eyes, the silent reproach and longing was almost too much to bear. But I have to—I have to bear it, she thought, as the vault rose up in her mind’s eye. No matter how hard it is, I have to be strong…
“Well…” Shuura cleared his throat. “If you’d like to come with me to the food prep area, I’m sure we can find you something tasty for dinner.”
“Thank you,” Elise said dully. “I…I’m sure it will be delicious.”
It actually was delicious, though mostly blue in color, and she and Shuura were the only ones at the table. The plates and bowls were all made of large, thick leaves and there were no utensils—everything was eaten with their fingers. Luckily there was another kind of leaf, which acted as a napkin. Before they started eating, Shuura demonstrated how to wipe each finger clean between courses and then fold the leaf-napkin down so that a fresh, clean area was available for the next time. Then the meal began.
There were pink noodles in a salty, pale blue broth and succulent dark blue meat, which Shuura told her was from the same kind of animal whose head hung on the wall—a xenox, he called it. It was a ferocious carnivore, but its meat was sweet because it fed on the tiny billibs who mainly ate sugar blossoms. There was a side dish of blue and purple roots, which tasted like a cross between a carrot and an onion, and to wash it down, a fizzy purple drink that was tart and sweet at the same time. Shuura assured her it wasn’t alcoholic, which was probably for the best. Elise had the feeling that if she was even slightly drunk, her inhibitions would desert her, leaving her entirely too emotionally vulnerable when it came to Merrick.
For dessert they had a long, narrow squash the length of Elise’s leg. Shuura sliced it open, revealing a surprisingly tender pale green flesh inside, which tasted exactly like apricots dipped in rich dark chocolate.
Elise ate until she couldn’t hold anymore, trying to satiate the growing hunger inside her. It had been awhile since she and Merrick had last touched, and despite her assertion otherwise, her body was beginning to miss him. She wished miserably that they were still on good terms, that she could go to him and admit her need so they could cuddle naked on the bed together, as they’d done the night before.
If we did that, it would turn sexual—I know it would, she told herself. And I can’t have that…can’t risk it. But she had another reason for not going to him. Even if she hadn’t had the integrity of her inner vault to consider, she couldn’t bear to think of using Merrick like that. Of using him to satisfy her own needs and then withdrawing again without giving of herself. I may be a horrible, ungrateful bitch but I won’t turn into a user too. I won’t do that, no matter how much I need him. No, she would just have to grin and bear it and maybe tonight he would hold her hand for a while—that would help some, she was certain.
“…your meal,” Shuura said and Elise realized she’d missed his words.
“I’m sorry,” she said, trying to smile politely. “I…my mind was wandering. What did you say?”
“I said I hope you enjoyed your meal,” Shuura repeated.
Elise nodded eagerly. “Oh! Oh, yes, very much. Thank you—it was delicious. Especially dessert.”
He nodded gravely. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. Although I fear your mind was far away most of the time.”
Elise felt her cheeks getting warm with an embarrassed blush. “Was it that obvious? I’m so sorry—I didn’t mean to be rude.”
“It’s all right, my dear. I can guess what you were thinking of—or should I say, who you were thinking of.” Shuura patted her hand gently. “Merrick.”
“Yes, I was thinking of him,” Elise admitted. “Tell me about him—what was he like as a child?”
Shuura sighed. “As a very young child when his father—my brother—was alive, he was happy, contented—as mischievous a little brat as you could ever hope to meet.” He laughed. “You should hear some of the pranks he pulled. Ask Tongs to tell you about the time…” He shook his head. “But never mind, those days are long gone.”
“But Merrick told me he came here again, after he left the other Kindred world, Tranq Prime,” Elise said, probing for more information. “And the way he talked to me about Tranq Prime—it sounds like he was really unhappy there.”
“Yes.” Shuura took another sip of his fizzy purple drink, which was called foo, if Elise remembered correctly. “He ran from Tranq Prime for a reason. And he can never go back.”
“I don’t understand—is he banned or something?”
“In a manner of speaking.” Shuura shook his head. “I cannot tell you the whole story because I don’t know it. And even if I did, it is Merrick’s tale to tell, not mine.”
“I understand.” Elise took a sip of foo and felt the tiny bubbles run up her nose, as if she was drinking champagne. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to pry.”
“It’s all right. You care for Merrick very much, do you not?”
Elise bit her lip. “I feel like I do, but it might just be the bond between us. It’s artificial and not placed correctly. It gives us false feelings for each other, so…” She trailed off as Shuura shook his head.
“Tell me something—what does your heart tell you? Are your feelings for Merrick false?”
“I don’t know,” she said miserably. “I don’t think so, but it’s hard to be sure. I’ve never felt so strongly for anyone in my life—not even my fiancé, and I’m supposed to marry him in less than a month.”
“I see.” Shuura nodded. “And how do you think Merrick feels for you?”
“I think he cares…maybe he even loves me,” Elise whispered, looking down at her leaf-napkin which she was twisting nervously in her lap. “But I can’t…can’t risk getting too close.”
“Why not?” Shuura raised an eyebrow at her curiously.
“Well…because. I mean, what if once this bond is severed we don’t feel anything for each other anymore? And…and what about my commitment to my fiancé—to James?”
He frowned at her, his golden eyes searching her face. “And these are the only reasons you hesitate to give Merrick your heart?”
Somehow Elise couldn’t look into those golden eyes and lie, so she looked down at her napkin again instead. “Of…of course. I promised to marry James and I need to honor that promise.”
“Honoring such a sacred commitment is very important,” Shuura acknowledged gravely. “The only thing more important is honoring your heart. If you go against it, you’ll be unhappy all your days. And so will Merrick.”
“I know that.” Elise was feeling more and more miserable. “It’s been a long day. Do you mind if I excuse myself to go take a shower? Uh, if you have showers here on Rageron, that is.”
“Certainly.” Shuura nodded. “But I wish you’d think about
what I said. Merrick is a hybrid, which means he will probably be unable to form a natural bond with any other female. Maybe the Goddess sent you to him and bound you together in the only way possible so he wouldn’t live out his days alone. Maybe she also intended him for you, and this fiancé of yours, this James, is not the right male for you at all.”
“I guess maybe…” Elise was uncomfortable discussing matters of religion. She had been raised nondenominational but it was clear that the Kindred took their Goddess very seriously.
“Does he—this James—value you as Merrick does? Would he risk his life to give you what you need? Because that will be the case when you and Merrick enter the Deep Blue tomorrow—especially if you meet the Ancient Ones.”
“The Ancient Ones? Who are they?” Elise asked nervously.
“A race of beings which make even the First Kindred look young. They have been on Rageron since the dawn of time and in all those many millennia, they have changed very little. They hold the skrillix to be sacred and guard it jealously.”
“Will they let us have some, do you think? Or will they try to hurt us?” Elise asked. Was this quest she and Merrick were on a suicide mission?
“They don’t usually kill intruders, but they may test you in some way—both of you.”
“What kind of test?” Elise demanded. For some reason the grueling bar exam she’d passed to become an attorney came to mind, but she was pretty sure the Ancient Ones weren’t going to sit Merrick and herself down and grill them on tort reform.
Shuura shook his head mysteriously. “It differs according to what they see in you.” He shrugged. “Then again, you may have the good fortune to find an untended skrillix vine growing outside the Ancient Ones’ perimeter and be able to come home at once.”
Elise shivered. “I certainly hope so!”
Shuura nodded. “If the Goddess wills it, it shall be so.”
“Um…” Elise cleared her throat. “I don’t want to offend you, but I’ve never been a very religious person. I’m not sure I believe in the Goddess.”