Have at you then, affection's men at arms296.
Consider what you first did swear unto:
To fast, to study, and to see no woman --
Flat treason against the kingly state299 of youth.
Say, can you fast? Your stomachs are too young,
And abstinence engenders maladies.
// And where that you have vowed to study, lords,302 //
// In that each of you have forsworn his book. //
// Can you still dream and pore and thereon look? //
// For when would you, my lord, or you, or you, //
// Have found the ground of study's excellence //
// Without the beauty of a woman's face? //
// From women's eyes this doctrine I derive: //
// They are the ground, the books, the academes //
// From whence doth spring the true Promethean fire310. //
// Why, universal plodding poisons up //
// The nimble spirits in the arteries, //
// As motion and long-during action tires //
// The sinewy vigour of the traveller. //
// Now, for not looking on a woman's face, //
// You have in that forsworn the use of eyes //
// And study too, the causer of your vow, //
// For where is any author in the world //
// Teaches such beauty as a woman's eye? //
// Learning is but an adjunct to ourself //
// And where we are our learning likewise is. //
// Then when ourselves we see in ladies' eyes, //
// With ourselves, //
// Do we not likewise see our learning there? //
O, we have made a vow to study, lords,
And in that vow we have forsworn our books,
For when would you, my liege, or you, or you,
In leaden contemplation have found out
Such fiery numbers329 as the prompting eyes
Of beauty's tutors have enriched you with?
Other slow arts entirely keep331 the brain,
And therefore, finding barren332 practisers,
Scarce show a harvest of their heavy toil.
But love, first learned in a lady's eyes,
Lives not alone immured335 in the brain
But with the motion of all elements
Courses as swift as thought in every power337
And gives to every power a double power,
Above their functions and their offices339.
It adds a precious seeing to the eye:
A lover's eyes will gaze an eagle blind.
A lover's ear will hear the lowest sound,
When the suspicious head of theft is stopped343.
Love's feeling is more soft and sensible344
Than are the tender horns of cockled345 snails.
Love's tongue proves dainty Bacchus gross346 in taste.
For347 valour, is not Love a Hercules,
Still climbing trees in the Hesperides348?
Subtle as Sphinx349, as sweet and musical
As bright Apollo350's lute, strung with his hair.
And when Love speaks, the voice of all the gods
Make heaven drowsy with the harmony.
Never durst353 poet touch a pen to write
Until his ink were tempered354 with love's sighs.
O, then his lines would ravish savage ears
And plant in tyrants mild humility.
From women's eyes this doctrine I derive:
They sparkle still the right Promethean fire358,
They are the books, the arts, the academes359,
That show, contain and nourish all the world,
Else none at all in aught361 proves excellent.
Then fools you were these women to forswear,
Or, keeping what is sworn, you will prove fools.
For wisdom's sake, a word that all men love,
Or, for love's sake, a word that loves365 all men,
Or, for men's sake, the authors366 of these women,
Or, women's sake, by whom367 we men are men,
Let's once368 lose our oaths to find ourselves,
Or else we lose ourselves to keep our oaths.
It is religion370 to be thus forsworn,
For charity itself fulfils the law371,
And who can sever love from charity?
KING Saint Cupid, then! And, soldiers, to the field!
BEROWNE Advance your standards, and upon them374, lords.
Pell-mell, down with them! But be first advised375
In conflict that you get the sun of them376.
LONGAVILLE Now to plain dealing: lay these glozes377 by.
Shall we resolve to woo these girls of France?
KING And win them too: therefore let us devise
Some entertainment for them in their tents.
BEROWNE First, from the park let us conduct them thither.
Then homeward every man attach382 the hand
Of his fair mistress: in the afternoon
We will with some strange pastime solace384 them,
Such as the shortness of the time can shape,
For revels, dances, masks and merry hours
Forerun387 fair Love, strewing her way with flowers.
KING Away, away! No time shall be omitted
That will betime, and may by us be fitted389.
BEROWNE Allons! Allons! Sowed cockle reaped no corn390,
And justice always whirls in equal measure391:
Light392 wenches may prove plagues to men forsworn,
If so, our copper buys no better treasure393.
Exeunt
Act 5 [Scene 1]
running scene 5
Enter [Holofernes] the Pedant, [Nathaniel the] Curate and Dull [the Constable]
HOLOFERNES Satis quod sufficit1.
NATHANIEL I praise God for you, sir. Your reasons at dinner2 have
been sharp and sententious3, pleasant without scurrility,
witty without affection, audacious4 without impudency,
learned without opinion, and strange5 without heresy. I did
converse this quondam6 day with a companion of the king's,
who is intituled, nominated7, or called, Don Adriano de
Armado.
HOLOFERNES Novi hominem tanquam te9: his humour is lofty, his
discourse peremptory, his tongue filed10, his eye ambitious, his
gait majestical, and his general behaviour vain, ridiculous,
and thrasonical. He is too picked12, too spruce, too affected,
too odd, as it were, too peregrinate13, as I may call it.
NATHANIEL A most singular and choice epithet.
Draws out his table-book14
HOLOFERNES He draweth out the thread of his verbosity finer
than the staple of his argument. I abhor such fanatical16
phantasimes, such insociable and point-device17 companions,
such rackers of orthography, as to speak 'dout', fine18, when
he should say 'doubt', 'det', when he should pronounce
'debt': d, e, b, t, not d, e, t. He clepeth20 a calf 'cauf', half
'hauf', neighbour vocatur21 'nebour', neigh abbreviated 'ne'.
This is abhominable22, which he would call 'abominable'. It
insinuateth me of insanie. Ne intelligis, domine?23 To make
frantic, lunatic.
NATHANIEL Laus Deo, bone intelligo25.
HOLOFERNES Bone? 'Bone' for 'bene', Priscian a little scratched26,
'twill serve.
Enter [Armado the] Braggart, [Moth, his] Boy [and Costard]
NATHANIEL Videsne quis venit?28
HOLOFERNES Video et gaudeo29.
ARMADO Chirrah!30
HOLOFERNES Quare31 'chirrah', not 'sirrah'?
ARMADO Men of peace, well encountered.
HOLOFERNES Most military sir, salutation.
Aside to Costard
MOTH They have been at a great feast of
r />
languages, and stolen the scraps.
To Moth
COSTARD O, they have lived long on the alms-basket36
of words. I marvel thy master hath not eaten thee for a37
word, for thou art not so long by the head as honorificabilitudinitatibus39.
Thou art easier swallowed than a flap-dragon40
MOTH Peace! The peal41 begins.
To Holofernes
ARMADO Monsieur, are you not lettered42?
MOTH Yes, yes: he teaches boys the hornbook43. What is a b
spelled backward with the horn on his head?
HOLOFERNES Ba, pueritia45, with a horn added.
MOTH Ba, most silly46 sheep with a horn. You hear his
learning.
HOLOFERNES Quis, quis, thou consonant48?
MOTH The last of the five vowels, if you repeat them, or the
fifth, if I.
HOLOFERNES I will repeat them: a, e, i--51
MOTH The sheep. The other two concludes it: o, u52.
ARMADO Now, by the salt wave of the Mediterraneum53, a sweet
touch, a quick venue of wit! Snip, snap, quick and home54! It
rejoiceth my intellect: true wit!
MOTH Offered by a child to an old man -- which is wit-old56.
HOLOFERNES What is the figure57? What is the figure?
MOTH Horns58.
HOLOFERNES Thou disputes59 like an infant. Go, whip thy
gig60.
MOTH Lend me your horn to make one and I will whip
about your infamy manu cita62. A gig of a cuckold's horn.
COSTARD An I had but one penny in the world, thou shouldst
have it to buy gingerbread. Hold, there is the very
65 remuneration I had of thy master, thou halfpenny65 purse of
wit, thou pigeon-egg of discretion66. O, an the heavens were so
pleased that thou wert67 but my bastard, what a joyful father
wouldst thou make me! Go to, thou hast it ad dunghill68, at the
fingers' ends, as they say.
HOLOFERNES O, I smell false Latin: 'dunghill' for unguem.
ARMADO Arts-man, preambulate71. We will be singled from the
barbarous. Do you not educate youth at the charge-house72
on the top of the mountain?
HOLOFERNES Or mons74, the hill.
ARMADO At your sweet pleasure, for the mountain.
HOLOFERNES I do, sans76 question.
ARMADO Sir, it is the king's most sweet pleasure and affection77
to congratulate the princess at her pavilion in the posteriors78
of this day, which the rude79 multitude call the afternoon.
HOLOFERNES The posterior of the day, most generous sir, is liable80,
congruent and measurable81 for the afternoon. The word is
well culled82, choice, sweet and apt, I do assure you, sir, I do
assure.
ARMADO Sir, the king is a noble gentleman, and my familiar84, I
do assure ye, very good friend. For what is inward85 between
us, let it pass. I do beseech thee, remember thy courtesy86: I
beseech thee, apparel87 thy head. And among other important
and most serious designs88, and of great import indeed too --
but let that pass, for I must tell thee it will please his grace, by89
the world, sometime to lean upon my poor shoulder and
with his royal finger thus dally with my excrement91, with my
mustachio. But, sweet heart92, let that pass. By the world, I
recount no fable93: some certain special honours it pleaseth
his greatness to impart to Armado, a soldier, a man of travel,
that hath seen the world -- but let that pass. The very all of95
all is -- but, sweet heart, I do implore secrecy -- that the
king would have me present the princess, sweet chuck97, with
some delightful ostentation, or show, or pageant, or antic98, or
firework99. Now, understanding that the curate and your
sweet self are good at such eruptions and sudden breaking
out of mirth, as it were, I have acquainted you withal101, to the
end102 to crave your assistance.
HOLOFERNES Sir, you shall present before her the Nine Worthies103.
Sir Nathaniel, as concerning some entertainment104 of time,
some show in the posterior of this day, to be rendered by our
assistants, at the king's command and this most gallant,
illustrate107 and learned gentleman, before the princess, I say
none so fit as to present the Nine Worthies.
NATHANIEL Where will you find men worthy enough to present
them?
HOLOFERNES Joshua, yourself. Myself, Judas Maccabaeus, and
this gallant gentleman,
Indicates Don Armado
Hector. This swain, because of his great limb or joint113, shall
pass Pompey the Great114. The page, Hercules.
ARMADO Pardon, sir, error: he is not quantity enough for that
Worthy's thumb. He is not so big as the end of his club116.
HOLOFERNES Shall I have audience? He shall present Hercules in117
minority: his enter and exit shall be strangling a snake118, and I
will have an apology119 for that purpose.
MOTH An excellent device120! So, if any of the audience hiss,
you may cry 'Well done, Hercules! Now thou crushest the
snake!' That is the way to make an offence gracious, though
few have the grace to do it.
ARMADO For the rest of the Worthies?
HOLOFERNES I will play three myself.
MOTH Thrice-worthy gentleman.
ARMADO Shall I tell you a thing?
HOLOFERNES We attend128.
ARMADO We will have, if this fadge129 not, an antic. I beseech
you, follow.
HOLOFERNES Via131, goodman Dull! Thou hast spoken no word all
this while.
DULL Nor understood none neither, sir.
HOLOFERNES Allons! We will employ thee.
DULL I'll make one135 in a dance, or so, or I will play
On the tabor to the Worthies, and let them dance the hay136.
HOLOFERNES Most Dull, honest Dull! To our sport, away!
Exeunt
[Act 5 Scene 2]
running scene 6
Enter Ladies [the Princess, Katherine, Rosaline and Maria]
PRINCESS Sweet hearts, we shall be rich ere we depart,
If fairings2 come thus plentifully in.
A lady walled about with diamonds3!
Look you what I have from the loving king.
Shows a jewel
ROSALINE Madame, came nothing else along with that?
PRINCESS Nothing but this? Yes, as much love in rhyme
As would be crammed up in a sheet of paper
Writ on both sides the leaf, margent8 and all,
That he was fain to seal on Cupid's name.9
ROSALINE That was the way to make his godhead wax,10
For he hath been five thousand years a boy11.
KATHERINE Ay, and a shrewd unhappy gallows12 too.
ROSALINE You'll ne'er be friends with him: a killed your sister13.
KATHERINE He made her melancholy, sad, and heavy14,
And so she died: had she been light15, like you,
Of such a merry, nimble, stirring spirit,
She might ha' been a grandam17 ere she died.
And so may you, for a light heart lives long.
ROSALINE What's your dark meaning, mouse, of this light word19?
KATHERINE A light condition20 in a beauty dark.
ROSALINE We need more light to find your meaning out.
KATHERINE You'll mar the light by taking it in snuff22:
Therefore I'll darkly23 end the argument.
ROSALINE Look what you
do, you do it24 still i'th'dark.
KATHERINE So do not you, for you are a light wench25.
ROSALINE Indeed I weigh not26 you, and therefore light.
KATHERINE You weigh me not? O, that's27 you care not for me.
ROSALINE Great reason, for past care is still past cure28.
PRINCESS Well bandied both. A set29 of wit well played.
But Rosaline, you have a favour30 too.
Who sent it? And what is it?
ROSALINE I would32 you knew.
An if my face were but as fair as yours,
My favour were as great. Be witness this:
Shows a love token and a letter
Nay, I have verses too, I thank Berowne.
The numbers true, and, were the numbering36 too,
I were the fairest goddess on the ground.
I am compared to twenty thousand fairs38.
O, he hath drawn my picture in his letter!
PRINCESS Anything like?
ROSALINE Much in the letters, nothing in the praise41.
PRINCESS Beauteous as ink: a good conclusion.
KATHERINE Fair as a text B in a copy-book43.
ROSALINE 'Ware pencils, how? Let me not die your debtor44,
My red dominical, my golden45 letter.
O, that your face were not so full of O's46!
PRINCESS A pox of that jest and I beshrew all shrews47.
But, Katherine, what was sent to you from fair
Dumaine?
Shows a glove
KATHERINE Madam, this glove.
PRINCESS Did he not send you twain51?
KATHERINE Yes, madam, and moreover
Some thousand verses of a faithful lover,
A huge translation54 of hypocrisy,
Vilely compiled, profound simplicity55.
Shows a letter and a pearl necklace
MARIA This and these pearls to me sent Longaville.
The letter is too long by half a mile.
PRINCESS I think no less. Dost thou not wish in heart
The chain were longer and the letter short?
MARIA Ay, or I would these hands might never part60.
PRINCESS We are wise girls to mock our lovers so.
ROSALINE They are worse fools to purchase62 mocking so.
That same Berowne I'll torture ere I go.
O that I knew he were but in by th'week64!
How I would make him fawn and beg and seek
And wait the season and observe the times66
And spend his prodigal wits in bootless67 rhymes
And shape his service wholly to my device
And make him proud to make me proud that jests69!
So pert aunt like would I o'ersway70 his state
That he should be my fool and I his fate71.
PRINCESS None are so surely72 caught, when they are catched,
As wit turned fool. Folly, in wisdom hatched,
Hath wisdom's warrant74 and the help of school
And wit's own grace to grace a learned fool.
ROSALINE The blood of youth burns not with such excess
As gravity's revolt to wantonness77.
MARIA Folly in fools bears not so strong a note78
As foolery in the wise, when wit doth dote79,
Since all the power thereof it doth apply To prove, by wit, worth in simplicity80.