CHAPTER XV.
"DISMISSAL. B. B."
By return of post Lord Hampstead received the following answer to hisletter;--
MY DEAR LORD HAMPSTEAD,--
Mr. Crocker's case is _a very bad one_; but the Postmaster General shall see your appeal, and his lordship will, I am sure, sympathize with your humanity--as do I also. I cannot take upon myself to say what his lordship will think it right to do, and it will be better, therefore, that you should abstain for the present from communicating with Mr. Crocker.
I am, Your lordship's very faithful servant,
BOREAS BODKIN.
Any excuse was sufficient to our Aeolus to save him from the horrorof dismissing a man. He knew well that Crocker, as a public servant,was not worth his salt. Sir Boreas was blessed,--or cursed,--witha conscience, but the stings of his conscience, though they werepainful, did not hurt him so much as those of his feelings. He hadowned to himself on this occasion that Crocker must go. Crocker wasin every way distasteful to him. He was not only untrustworthy andincapable, but audacious also, and occasionally impudent. He was aclerk of whom he had repeatedly said that it would be much better topay him his salary and let him have perpetual leave of absence, thankeep him even if there were no salary to be paid. Now there had comea case on which it was agreed by all the office that the man must go.Destroy a bundle of official papers! Mr. Jerningham had been heard todeclare that the law was in fault in not having provided that a manshould be at once sent to Newgate for doing such a thing. "The stupidold fool's letters weren't really worth anything," Sir Boreas hadsaid, as though attempting to palliate the crime! Mr. Jerninghamhad only shaken his head. What else could he do? It was not forhim to dispute any matter with Sir Boreas. But to his thinking theold gentleman's letters had become precious documents, pricelessrecords, as soon as they had once been bound by the red tape of theGovernment, and enveloped by the security of an official pigeon-hole.To stay away without leave,--to be drunk,--to be obstinatelyidle,--to be impudent, were great official sins; but Mr. Jerninghamwas used to them, and knew that as they had often occurred before, sowould they re-occur. Clerks are mortal men, and will be idle, will bereckless, will sometimes get into disreputable rows. A little addedseverity, Mr. Jerningham thought, would improve his branch of thedepartment, but, knowing the nature of men, the nature especially ofSir Boreas, he could make excuses. Here, however, was a case in whichno superior Civil Servant could entertain a doubt. And yet Sir Boreaspalliated even this crime! Mr. Jerningham shook his head, and SirBoreas shoved on one side, so as to avoid for a day the pain ofthinking about them, the new bundle of papers which had alreadyformed itself on the great Crocker case. If some one would tear upthat, what a blessing it would be!
In this way there was delay, during which Crocker was not allowed toshow his face at the office, and during this delay Clara Demijohnbecame quite confirmed in her determination to throw over herengagement. Tribbledale with his L120 would be much better thanCrocker with nothing. And then it was agreed generally in ParadiseRow that there was something romantic in Tribbledale's constancy.Tribbledale was in the Row every day,--or perhaps rather everynight;--seeking counsel from Mrs. Grimley, and comforting himselfwith hot gin-and-water. Mrs. Grimley was good-natured, and impartialto both the young men. She liked customers, and she liked marriagesgenerally. "If he ain't got no income of course he's out of therunning," Mrs. Grimley said to Tribbledale, greatly comforting theyoung man's heart. "You go in and win," said Mrs. Grimley, indicatingby that her opinion that the ardent suitor would probably besuccessful if he urged his love at the present moment. "Strike whilethe iron is hot," she said, alluding probably to the heat to whichClara's anger would be warmed by the feeling that the other loverhad lost his situation just when he was most bound to be careful inmaintaining it.
Tribbledale went in and pleaded his case. It is probable that justat this time Clara herself was made acquainted with Tribbledale'sfrequent visits to The Duchess, and though she may not have beenpleased with the special rendezvous selected, she was gratified bythe devotion shown. When Mrs. Grimley advised Tribbledale to "go inand win," she was, perhaps, in Clara's confidence. When a girl hastold all her friends that she is going to be married, and has alreadyexpended a considerable portion of the sum of money allowed for herwedding garments, she cannot sink back into the simple position ofan unengaged young woman without pangs of conscience and qualms ofremorse. Paradise Row knew that her young man was to be dismissedfrom his office, and condoled with her frequently and mostunpleasantly. Mrs. Duffer was so unbearable in the matter that thetwo ladies had quarrelled dreadfully. Clara from the first moment ofher engagement with Crocker had been proud of the second string toher bow, and now perceived that the time had come in which it mightbe conveniently used.
It was near eleven when Tribbledale knocked at the door of No. 10,but nevertheless Clara was up, as was also the servant girl, whoopened the door for the sake of discretion. "Oh, Daniel, what hoursyou do keep!" said Clara, when the young gentleman was shown into theparlour. "What on earth brings you here at such a time as this?"
Tribbledale was never slow to declare that he was brought thither bythe overwhelming ardour of his passion. His love for Clara was soold a story, and had been told so often, that the repeating of itrequired no circumlocution. Had he chanced to meet her in the HighStreet on a Sunday morning, he would have begun with it at once."Clara," he said, "will you have me? I know that that other scoundrelis a ruined man."
"Oh, Daniel, you shouldn't hit those as are down."
"Hasn't he been hitting me all the time that I was down? Hasn't hetriumphed? Haven't you been in his arms?"
"Laws; no."
"And wasn't that hitting me when I was down, do you think?"
"It never did you any harm."
"Oh, Clara;--if you knew the nature of my love you'd understand theharm. Every time he has pressed your lips I have heard it, though Iwas in King's Head Court all the time."
"That must be a crammer, Daniel."
"I did;--not with the ears of my head, but with the fibres of mybreast."
"Oh;--ah. But, Daniel, you and Sam used to be such friends at thefirst go off."
"Go off of what?"
"When he first took to coming after me. You remember the tea-party,when Marion Fay was here."
"I tried it on just then;--I did. I thought that, maybe, I might comenot to care about it so much."
"I'm sure you acted it very well."
"And I thought that perhaps it might be the best way of touching thatcold heart of yours."
"Cold! I don't know as my heart is colder than anybody else's heart."
"Would that you would make it warm once more for me."
"Poor Sam!" said Clara, putting her handkerchief up to her eyes.
"Why is he any poorer than me? I was first. At any rate I was beforehim."
"I don't know anything about firsts or lasts," said Clara, as theghosts of various Banquos flitted before her eyes.
"And as for him, what right has he to think of any girl? He's a poormean creature, without the means of getting so much as a bed for awife to lie on. He used to talk so proud of Her Majesty's CivilService. Her Majesty's Civil Service has sent him away packing."
"Not yet, Daniel."
"They have. I've made it my business to find out, and Sir BoreasBodkin has written the order to-day. 'Dismissal--B. B.' I know thosewho have seen the very words written in the punishment book of thePost Office."
"Poor Sam!"
"Destroying papers of the utmost importance about Her Majesty's MailService! What else was he to expect? And now he's penniless."
"A hundred and twenty isn't so very much, Daniel."
"Mr. Fay was saying only the other day that if I was married andsettled they'd make it better for me."
"You're too fond of The Duchess, Daniel."
"No, Clara--no; I deny that. You ask Mrs. Grimley why it is I come toThe Duchess so often. It isn't for anything that I
take there."
"Oh; I didn't know. Young men when they frequent those placesgenerally do take something."
"If I had a little home of my own with the girl I love on the otherside of the fireplace, and perhaps a baby in her arms--" Tribbledaleas he said this looked at her with all his eyes.
"Laws, Daniel; what things you do say!"
"I should never go then to any Duchess, or any Marquess of Granby, orto any Angel." These were public-houses so named, all standing thicktogether in the neighbourhood of Paradise Row. "I should not want togo anywhere then,--except where that young woman and that baby wereto be found."
"Daniel, you was always fine at poetry."
"Try me, if it isn't real prose. The proof of the pudding's inthe eating. You come and try." By this time Clara was in his arms,and the re-engagement was as good as made. Crocker was no doubtdismissed,--or if not dismissed had shown himself to be unworthy.What could be expected of a husband who could tear up a bundle of HerMajesty's Mail papers? And then Daniel Tribbledale had exhibited aromantic constancy which certainly deserved to be rewarded. Claraunderstood that the gin-and-water had been consumed night after nightfor her sake. And there were the lodgings and the clock and theharmonium ready for the occasion. "I suppose it had better be so,Daniel, as you wish it so much."
"Wish it! I have always wished it. I wouldn't change places now withMr. Pogson himself."
"He married his third wife three years ago!"
"I mean in regard to the whole box and dice of it. I'd rather have myClara with L120, than be Pogson and Littlebird with all the profits."This gratifying assurance was rewarded, and then, considerably aftermidnight, the triumphant lover took his leave.
Early on the following afternoon Crocker was in Paradise Row. He hadbeen again with Lord Hampstead, and had succeeded in worming out ofthe good-natured nobleman something of the information containedin the letter from Sir Boreas. The matter was to be left to thePostmaster-General. Now there was an idea in the office that whena case was left to his lordship, his lordship never proceeded toextremities. Kings are bound to pardon if they allow themselves tobe personally concerned as to punishment. There was something of thesame feeling in regard to official discipline. As a fact the letterfrom Sir Boreas had been altogether false. He had known, poor man,that he must at last take the duty of deciding upon himself, andhad used the name of the great chief simply as a mode of escape forthe moment. But Crocker had felt that the mere statement indicatedpardon. The very delay indicated pardon. Relying upon theseindications he went to Paradise Row, dressed in his best frock coat,with gloves in his hand, to declare to his love that the lodgingsneed not be abandoned, and that the clock and harmonium might bepreserved.
"But you've been dismissed!" said Clara.
"Never! never!"
"It has been written in the book! 'Dismissal--B. B.!' I know the eyesthat have seen it."
"That's not the way they do it at all," said Crocker, who wasaltogether confused.
"It has been written in the book, Sam; and I know that they never goback from that."
"Who wrote it? Nothing has been written. There isn't a book;--not atleast like that. Tribbledale has invented it."
"Oh, Sam, why did you tear those papers;--Her Majesty's Mail papers?What else was there to expect? 'Dismissal--B. B.;' Why did you doit,--and you engaged to a young woman? No;--don't come nigh to me.How is a young woman to go and get herself married to a young man,and he with nothing to support her? It isn't to be thought of. When Iheard those words, 'Dismissal--B. B.,' I thought my very heart wouldsink within me."
"It's nothing of the kind," said Crocker.
"What's nothing of the kind?"
"I ain't dismissed at all."
"Oh, Sam; how dare you?"
"I tell you I ain't. He's written a letter to Lord Hampstead, who hasalways been my friend. Hampstead wasn't going to see me treated afterthat fashion. Hampstead wrote, and then Aeolus wrote,--that's SirBoreas,--and I've seen the letter,--that is, Hampstead told me whatthere is in it; and I ain't to be dismissed at all. When I heard thegood news the first thing I did was to come as fast as my legs wouldcarry me, and tell the girl of my heart."
Clara did not quite believe him; but then neither had she quitebelieved Tribbledale, when he had announced the dismissal with theterrible corroboration of the great man's initials. But the crimecommitted seemed to her to be so great that she could not understandthat Crocker should be allowed to remain after the perpetration ofit. Crocker's salary was L150; and, balancing the two young mentogether as she had often done, though she liked the poetry ofTribbledale, she did on the whole prefer the swagger and audacity ofCrocker. Her Majesty's Civil Service, too, had its charms for her.The Post Office was altogether superior to Pogson and Littlebird's.Pogson and Littlebird's hours were 9 to 5. Those of Her Majesty'sService were much more genteel;--10 namely to 4. But what might nota man do who had shown the nature of his disposition by tearing upofficial papers? And then, though the accidents of the occasion hadenveloped her in difficulties on both sides, it seemed to her that,at the present moment, the lesser difficulties would be encounteredby adhering to Tribbledale. She could excuse herself with Crocker.Paradise Row had already declared that the match with Crocker mustbe broken off. Crocker had indeed been told that the match was to bebroken off. When Tribbledale had come to her overnight she had feltherself to be a free woman. When she had given way to the voiceof the charmer, when she had sunk into his arms, softened by thatdomestic picture which he had painted, no pricks of conscience haddisturbed her happiness. Whether the "Dismissal--B. B." had or hadnot yet been written, it was sure to come. She was as free to "wedanother" as was Venice when her Doge was deposed. She could throwherself back upon the iniquity of the torn papers were Crocker tocomplain. But should she now return to her Crocker, how could sheexcuse herself with Tribbledale? "It is all over between you and me,Sam," she said with her handkerchief up to her eyes.
"All over! Why should it be all over?"
"You was told it was all over."
"That was when all the Row said that I was to be dismissed. There wassomething in it,--then; though, perhaps, a girl might have waitedtill a fellow had got up upon his legs again."
"Waiting ain't so pleasant, Mr. Crocker, when a girl has to lookafter herself."
"But I ain't dismissed at all, and there needn't be any waiting.I thought that you would be suffering as well as me, and so I cameright away to you, all at once."
"So I have suffered, Sam. No one knows what I have suffered."
"But it'll come all right now?" Clara shook her head. "You don't meanthat Tribbledale's been and talked you over already?"
"I knew Mr. Tribbledale before ever I saw you, Sam."
"How often have I heard you call him a poor mean skunk?"
"Never, Crocker; never. Such a word never passed my lips."
"Something very like it then."
"I may have said he wanted sperrit. I may have said so, though Idisremember it. But if I did,--what of that?"
"You despised him."
"No, Crocker. What I despise is a man as goes and tears up HerMajesty's Mail papers. Tribbledale never tore up anything at Pogsonand Littlebird's,--except what was to be tore. Tribbledale was neverturned out for nigh a fortnight, so that he couldn't go and showhis face in King's Head Court. Tribbledale never made hisself hatedby everybody." That unknown abominable word which Crocker had putinto her mouth had roused all the woman within her, so that she wasenabled to fight her battle with a courage which would not have cometo her aid had he been more prudent.
"Who hates me?"
"Mr. Jerningham does, and Roden, and Sir Boreas, and Bobbin." She hadlearned all their names. "How can they help hating a man that tearsup the mail papers! And I hate you."
"Clara!"
"I do. What business had you to say I used that nasty word? I neverdo use them words. I wouldn't even so much as look at a man who'ddemean himself to put such words as them into my mouth. So I tell youwhat it is, Mr.
Crocker; you may just go away. I am going to becomeDaniel Tribbledale's wife, and it isn't becoming in you to stand heretalking to a young woman that is engaged to another young man."
"And this is to be the end of it?"
"If you please, Mr. Crocker."
"Well!"
"If ever you feel inclined to speak your mind to another young woman,and you carry it as far as we did, and you wishes to hold on to her,don't you go and tear Her Majesty's Mail papers. And when she tellsyou a bit of her mind, as I did just now, don't you go and put nastywords into her mouth. Now, if you please, you may just as well sendover that clock and that harmonium to Daniel Tribbledale, Esq.,King's Head Court, Great Broad Street." So saying she left him, andcongratulated herself on having terminated the interview without muchunpleasantness.
Crocker, as he shook the dust off his feet upon leaving Paradise Row,began to ask himself whether he might not upon the whole congratulatehimself as to the end to which that piece of business had beenbrought. When he had first resolved to offer his hand to the younglady, he had certainly imagined that that hand would not be empty.Clara was no doubt "a fine girl," but not quite so young as she wasonce. And she had a temper of her own. Matrimony, too, was oftenfollowed by many troubles. Paradise Row would no doubt utter jeers,but he need not go there to hear them. He was not quite sure but thatthe tearing of the papers would in the long run be beneficial to him.