CHAPTER XIV
THE REBEL DIVISION GENERAL
The sentinel listened very patiently to the explanation of Owen Raynes;but, as he proceeded, the face of the soldier relaxed till his muscleshad contracted into a broad grin. The sergeant of the guard was then sentfor, and the explanation repeated. At its conclusion, both the sentineland the sergeant seemed to be disposed to laugh in the faces of the twinfriends, so keenly were the former alive to the ludicrous.
"That's a very pretty story, my men! You, without the pass, are going tosee that everything is right about the man that has the pass; in otherwords, the devils are going to see that the angels don't do anythingwicked," said the sergeant, laughing at the awkward position of Owen andAllan, and perhaps quite as much at the sharpness of his ownillustration.
"We are entirely satisfied in regard to this young man," said Owen; "butwe have come in order to satisfy another person, who believes that he isan impostor. We promised to take him to Major Platner."
"You can't enter these lines without a pass," replied the sergeantfirmly. "This man can go through; for he has a pass," he added to Somers.
"As I am all right, and in a hurry, I will proceed to the brigadeheadquarters," said Somers. "Now, good-by, my friends; I am very glad tohave met you, and much obliged to you for the trouble you have taken tocome so far with me."
"You take it coolly," laughed Owen.
"Perhaps, if you desire to go to the brigade headquarters, the sergeantwill let you pass, if I will vouch for you," continued Somers with greatgood humor.
"We are not very particular."
"What do you say, sergeant?"
"My orders are to permit no stragglers from other camps to pass theselines, and I shall obey my orders to the letter," replied the official,who, for some reason or other, seemed to be prejudiced against Somers'sfriends.
"Stragglers!" exclaimed the sensitive Allan. "I think we have gone farenough."
"I think you have," added the sergeant; "and, if you don't leave at once,it will be my duty to arrest you."
"Whew!" exclaimed Owen. "That would be carrying the joke altogether toofar. I think my _pater_ ought to be satisfied with what we have done."
"Move on," said the sergeant.
They did move on; and Somers, attended by the officer of the guard,walked towards headquarters.
"Those are the coolest fellows that ever came near my lines," said thesergeant. "Men without a pass looking out for one who has a pass!"
"Well, they are good fellows; but I played a joke upon them, which makesthem a little sour towards me," replied the scout. "I am even with themnow."
"What was the joke?" demanded the sergeant, who was filled with interestat the mention of the word.
Somers gave him a modified account of the affair at the house of Mr.Raynes; which he embellished a little for the occasion, to allay anysuspicion which might arise in the mind of the auditor. But the officerof the guard had no suspicion. Why should he have any? for Somers, armedwith a pass signed by the officer of the day, was walking as directly ashe could towards the headquarters. The sergeant of the guard left himwhen they reached the guard tent; and Somers proceeded to report in dueform to the major, whom he found smoking his cigar under a tree ascomplacently as though there was not a traitor or a spy in the land.
"Well, young man! you have returned promptly at the time specified," saidthe major, as Somers very deferentially touched his cap to this magnateof the rebel army.
"Yes, sir; I have endeavored to discharge my duty faithfully," repliedSomers.
"Did you find the regiment?"
"No, sir; I lost my way; and finding I should not have time to go to theplace where it is, without overstaying my time, I hastened back, knowingthat the service upon which you wished to employ me was very importantindeed."
"You did right, young man. Where is your coat?"
"It was one I picked up just after I had passed the lines, and a soldierdown below claimed it. I gave it up when he convinced me it was hisproperty."
"You are very honest as well as patriotic."
Somers bowed, but made no reply to the compliment; which, however, wasfully appreciated.
"You seem to be a young man of good address, and you can render yourcountry a great service, but it will be at the peril of your life," saidthe major with impressive formality.
"I am willing to serve my country, even with my life."
"I do not doubt it. I was impressed by your manner, and I haverecommended you to the general for the service he has in view. I hope youwill do credit to the selection I have made; for the most important dutywhich a commander has to perform is to select proper persons for theexecution of special missions."
"I will endeavor to serve my country to the best of my ability; and I amsatisfied that I can go all over the Yankee camps without difficulty."
"Very well! You have confidence in yourself; and that is the firstrequisite of success. If you discharge this duty with fidelity and skill,you may be sure of being made a sergeant the moment you return."
"Thank you, Major Platner. I am very grateful to you, sir, for theopportunity you thus afford me to distinguish myself."
"You will find me a good friend, if you are faithful and intelligent."
"Thank you, sir."
"Now you shall go with me to General M----'s headquarters, and he willgive you your final instructions."
Major Platner led the way; and Somers reverently followed a pace or twobehind him, flattering the officer in every action as well as word. Theyreached the division headquarters, and our hero was ushered into thepresence of the general. He was a large, red-faced man, and had evidentlytaken all the whiskey he could carry, at his dinner, from which he hadjust returned.
"What have you got there, Platner?" demanded the general, in a tone sorough, that Somers was reminded of the ogre in Jack the Giant-killer.
"The young man of whom I spoke to you this forenoon. He is a person ofremarkable address, courage and skill; and is just the man you need."
"All right; adieu, major!" added the general, bowing to the other.
Major Platner took the hint, and took himself off, leaving Somersstanding alone and somewhat abashed in the presence of the great man.
"Young man!" said, or rather roared, the rebel general, as he raised hiseyes from the ground, and fixed them with a half-drunken leer upon ourhero.
"Sir!"
"How much whiskey can you drink without going by the board?"
Somers did not know, had never tried the experiment, and was utterlyopposed to all such practices. But he desired to conciliate the tipsygeneral; and, if he had not been fearful of being put to the test, hewould have signified his belief that he could carry off half a dozenglasses. As it was, he did not dare to belie his principles.
"Not any, sir! I never drink whiskey," he replied, with the utmostdeference in his tones.
"Hey?" gasped General M----, darting a sudden glance at the young man.
"I never drank a glass of whiskey in my life, sir," added Somers.
The general jumped off his camp-stool with a sudden jerk, and stared atour lieutenant in silence for an instant.
"Give me your hand," said he.
Somers extended his hand.
"Yes! you are flesh and blood. You are the first man I ever saw thatnever drank a glass of whiskey. You drink brandy, don't you?"
"No, sir! I never drank a glass of liquor or wine of any kind in mylife."
"Give me your hand," said the general again.
"Flesh and blood! You are the first man I ever saw that never drank aglass of liquor or wine of any kind. 'Tis a bad practice," he added withan oath.
"I think so, sir," replied Somers with due deference.
"Young man!"
"Sir."
"The greatest enemy--hic--that the Confederate army has to contendagainst is whiskey. Yes, sir! whiskey. If the Confederate Statesof--hic--of America ever win their independence, it will be when thewhiskey's all gone."
r /> "I am very glad to hear officers of your high rank condemning thepractice," said Somers, alive to the joke of the general's proceedings,but prudently looking as serious as though it had been a solemn tragedyinstead of an awful farce.
"Yes, sir! I'm opposed with all my might to the practice. Yes, sir!Whiskey is the greatest enemy I have on the face of the footstool, youngman."
Somers believed him.
"Always be temperate, young man. You are in the sunshine of--hic--oflife. Never drink whiskey. It will ruin your body and soul. Don't touchit, young man," added he, as he sank back on the camp-stool, whose centerof gravity was nearly destroyed by the shock, and closed his eyes, as ifovercome by the potency of his great enemy, which was just then beginningto have its full effect, and which produced a tendency to sleep.
"I will endeavor to profit by your good advice, sir," said Somers.
"That's right; do so," added the general, as he jerked up his head tobanish the drowsy god, who was struggling for the possession of hissenses. "That will do, young man. You may go now."
The general, in his drunken stupor, had certainly forgotten the businessfor which Major Platner had brought him to the division headquarters; andSomers began to fear that he should have no errand that day.
"I beg your pardon, general; but Major Platner was kind enough to saythat you had some service for me to perform."
"Eh?" demanded he, tossing up his head again.
Somers repeated the remark more explicitly than before.
"Exactly so; I remember. Do you know what I was thinking about just then,young man?" said the general, spasmodically leaping to his feet again, asthough the thought was full of inspiration.
"No, sir; a man in my humble position could hardly measure the thoughtsof a great man in your situation."
"I'll tell you; I was thinking about issuing a division general order onthe subject of temperance. What do you think of it?"
"It would be an excellent idea," replied Somers.
"Young man!"
"Sir."
"I believe you said--hic----"
Somers did not say anything of the sort; but he waited patiently for therebel general to recover the idea which he appeared to have lost.
"I believe you said you never drank any whiskey?"
"I never did, sir."
"Then you never was drunk?"
"Never, sir."
"Young man!"
"Sir."
"Are you a--hic----"
Somers was not a "hic;" but he was an impatient young man, and veryanxious to be instructed in regard to his difficult and dangerousmission.
"Are you a minister of the gospel?" demanded the general, after a mightyeffort.
"No, sir; I am not."
"I'm sorry for--hic--for that; for I wanted to appoint you a divisionchaplain, to preach against whiskey to the general officers. Some of themare--hic--drunken fellows, and no more fit for a command than the oldtopers in the streets of Richmond."
"I am sorry I am not competent to fill the office; but I think, if youshould lecture them yourself, it would have a better effect."
"My words are--hic--powerless. They laugh when I talk to them about theerror of their ways," added he with a string of oaths, which seemed toexhibit a further necessity for a chaplain on the division staff.
"I beg your pardon, sir; but I am afraid your interest in the moralwelfare of your officers----"
"That is it, young man!" interrupted the drunken general, catching at hisidea with remarkable promptness. "My interest in the moral welfare ofmy--hic--of my officers! You are a trump, young man [big oath]. You are amajor now?"
"No, sir."
"Only a captain?"
"No, sir; nothing but a private."
"Then you shall be a captain. I haven't heard any such--hic--sentimentsas you expressed used in this division before. You ought to be a--hic--abrigadier-general."
"Thank you, sir. You are very kind. I came to you for instructions inregard to my mission over to the enemy."
"Bless me! yes; so you did. Well, I have not written them yet."
"I only want a pass from you, general, with such verbal instructions asyou may please to give me."
"So you do; the fact of it is, my interest in the moral welfare of my menhad driven the matter out of my mind."
The general called an orderly; and Somers was sent off to the adjutantfor the pass, which was given to him under the name he had assumed. Whenhe returned, the general was sound asleep on his camp-stool, rollingabout like a ship in a gale, with a prospect of soon landing at fulllength on _terra firma_. Somers would gladly have received some militaryinformation from the general, who was in a condition to tell all he knew;which, however, could not have been much, under the circumstances. Heconcluded that it would be best for him not to awaken the tipsy moralist;and, after waiting a short time on the spot to avoid suspicion, he joinedMajor Platner, who was smoking his cigar under a tree near theheadquarters.
"Well, young man, did you obtain your instructions?"
"Yes; all I require."
"Perhaps we ought to have seen the general before dinner," added themajor, using the remark as a "feeler" to induce his companion to informhim what had transpired during the interview.
"Perhaps it would have been more agreeable to the general. However, heseemed to be in a very talkative mood."
"He commonly is after dinner."
"He is a very jovial, good fellow."
"Very."
"But he appears to feel a deep interest in the moral welfare of thoseunder his command. He expressed himself as very averse to habits ofintemperance."
"Humph!" coughed the major.
"He said that whiskey was the great enemy the army has to contendagainst, and intends to issue a general order directed at the vice ofintemperance."
"Did he?"
"He did; but I ought to add, that he took me to be a major in theservice; a mistake which was very natural, since I wore no coat."
"Very natural--after dinner," replied Major Platner suggestively.
"I told him I never drank any strong drink; and he kindly advised menever to do so."
"The general is a brave man, and I hope he will be able to overcome allhis enemies."
The major permitted the conversation to go by default, and Somersrespectfully dropped a pace or two behind him. They reached the brigadeheadquarters, and then repaired to the guard tent, from which the scouttook his departure upon his arduous and difficult mission, with the bestwishes of the rebel officers.
With his pass he had no difficulty in going through any line, and madehis way down to the woods on the left of the open fields. He began tofeel easier when he had passed the field-works, and experienced asensation of exultation as he thought of the reception which awaited himat headquarters as well as in the regiment.