"That's right, dear," Tom said softly. "Mr. Ricardi stayed at his post, didn't he?"
"The ladies come to the table." Her remaining eye turned to Clay, and for the second time she spoke in that other voice. One he had heard coming from his own mouth. Only four words this time. '"Your son's with us."
"You lie," Clay whispered. His fists were clenched, and he had to restrain himself from striking the dying girl. "You bastard, you lie."
"The ladies come to the table and we all have tea," Alice said.
18
The first line of light had begun to show in the east. Tom sat beside Clay, and put a tentative hand on his arm. "If they read minds," he said, "they could have gotten the fact that you have a son and you're worried to death about him as easily as you'd look something up on Google. That guy could be using Alice to fuck with you."
"I know that," Clay said. He knew something else: what she'd said in Harvard's voice was all too plausible. "You know what I keep thinking about?"
Tom shook his head.
"When he was little, three or four--back when Sharon and I still got along and we called him Johnny-Gee--he'd come running every time the phone rang. He'd yell 'Fo-fo-me-me?' It knocked us out. And if it was his nana or his PeePop, we'd say 'Fo-fo-you-you' and hand it to him. I can still remember how big the fucking thing looked in his little hands... and against the side of his face..."
"Clay, stop."
"And now... now..." He couldn't go on. And didn't have to.
"Come here, you guys!" Jordan called. His voice was agonized. "Hurry up!"
They went back to where Alice lay. She had come up off the ground in a locked convulsion, her spine a hard, quivering arc. Her remaining eye bulged in its socket; her lips pulled down at the corners. Then, suddenly, everything relaxed. She spoke a name that had no meaning for them--Henry--and squeezed the sneaker one final time. Then the fingers relaxed and it slipped free. There was a sigh and a final white cloud, very thin, from between her parted lips.
Jordan looked from Clay to Tom, then back to Clay again. "Is she--"
"Yes," Clay said.
Jordan burst into tears. Clay allowed Alice another few seconds to look at the paling stars, then used the heel of his hand to close her eye.
19
There was a farmhouse not far from the orchard. They found shovels in one of the sheds and buried her under an apple tree, with the little sneaker in her hand. It was, they agreed, what she would have wanted. At Jordan's request, Tom once more recited Psalm Forty, although this time he had difficulty finishing. They each told one thing they remembered about Alice. During this part of the impromptu service, a flock of phone-people--a small one--passed north of them. They were noticed but not bothered. This did not surprise Clay in the slightest. They were insane, not to be touched... as he was sure Gunner and Harold would learn to their sorrow.
They slept away most of the daylight hours in the farmhouse, then moved on to Kent Pond. Clay no longer really expected to find his son there, but he hadn't given up hope of finding word of Johnny, or perhaps Sharon. Just to know she was alive might lift a little of the sorrow he now felt, a feeling so heavy that it seemed to weigh him down like a cloak lined with lead.
KENT POND
1
His old house--the house where Johnny and Sharon had lived at the time of the Pulse--was on Livery Lane, two blocks north of the dead traffic light that marked the center of Kent Pond. It was the sort of place some real estate ads called a "fixer-upper" and some a "starter home." Clay and Sharon's joke--before the separation--was that their "starter home" would probably also be their "retirement home." And when she'd gotten pregnant, they had talked about naming the baby Olivia if it turned out to be of what Sharon called "the feminine persuasion." Then, she said, they'd have the only Livvie of Livery Lane. How they had laughed.
Clay, Tom, and Jordan--a pallid Jordan, a thoughtfully silent Jordan who now usually responded to questions only if asked a second or even a third time--arrived at the intersection of Main and Livery at just past midnight on a windy night during the second week of October. Clay stared wildly at the stop sign on the corner of his old street, where he had come as a visitor for the last four months. NUCLEAR POWER was still stenciled there in spray-paint, as it had been before he'd left for Boston. STOP... NUCLEAR POWER. STOP... NUCLEAR POWER. He couldn't seem to get the sense of it. It wasn't a question of meaning, that was clear enough, just someone's clever little political statement (if he looked he'd probably find the same thing on stop signs all over town, maybe in Springvale and Acton, too), but the sense of how this could be the same when the whole world had changed--that eluded him. Clay felt somehow that if he stared at STOP... NUCLEAR POWER with enough desperate intensity, a wormhole would open, some kind of sci-fi time-tunnel, and he'd dive into the past, and all this would be undone. All this darkness.
"Clay?" Tom asked. "Are you all right?"
"This is my street," Clay said, as if that explained everything, and then, without knowing he was going to do it, he began to run.
Livery Lane was a cul-de-sac, all the streets on this side of town dead-ending against the flank of Kent's Hill, which was really an eroded mountain. Oaks overhung it and the street was full of dead leaves that crackled under his feet. There were also a lot of stalled cars, and two that were locked grille to grille in a strenuous mechanical kiss.
"Where's he going?" Jordan called behind him. Clay hated the fear he heard in Jordan's voice, but he couldn't stop.
"He's all right," Tom said. "Let him go."
Clay wove around the stalled cars, the beam of his flashlight jigging and stabbing in front of him. One of the stabs caught Mr. Kretsky's face. Mr. Kretsky always used to have a Tootsie Pop for Johnny on haircut day when Johnny was Johnny-Gee, just a little guy who used to yell fo-fo-me-me when the phone rang. Mr. Kretsky was lying on the sidewalk in front of his house, half-buried in fallen oak-leaves, and his nose appeared to be gone.
I mustn't find them dead. This thought drummed in his mind, over and over. Not after Alice. I mustn't find them dead. And then, hatefully (but in moments of stress the mind almost always told the truth): And if I have to find one of them dead... let it be her.
Their house was the last one on the left (as he always used to remind Sharon, with a suitably creepy laugh--long after the joke had worn thin, actually), and the driveway slanted up to the refurbished little shed that was just big enough to park one car. Clay was already out of breath but he didn't slow. He sprinted up the driveway, kicking leaves in front of him, feeling the stitch starting to sink in high up on his right side, tasting copper in the back of his mouth, where his breathing seemed to rasp. He lifted his flashlight and shined it into the garage.
Empty. Question was, was that good or bad?
He turned around, saw Tom's and Jordan's lights bobbing toward him down below, and shone his own on his back door. His heart leaped into the back of his throat at what he saw. He ran up the three steps to the stoop, stumbled, and almost put his hand through the storm door pulling the note off the glass. It was held by only a corner of Scotch tape; if they'd come along an hour later, maybe even half an hour, the restless night wind would have blown it over the hills and far away. He could kill her for not taking more pains, such carelessness was just so Sharon, but at least--The note wasn't from his wife.
2
Jordan came up the driveway and stood at the foot of the steps with his light trained on Clay. Tom came toiling along behind, breathing hard and making an enormous crackling sound as he scuffed through the leaves. He stopped beside Jordan and put his own light on the scrap of unfolded paper in Clay's hand. He raised the beam slowly to Clay's thunderstruck face. "I forgot about her mother's fucking diabetes," Clay said, and handed over the note that had been Scotch-taped to the door. Tom and Jordan read it together.
Daddy,
Something bad hapen as you porbly know, I hope your all right & get this. Mitch Steinman and George Gendron are with me, people are
going crazy & we think its the cellphones. Dad here is the bad part, we came here because I was afraid. I was going to break mine if I was wrong but I wasnt wrong, it was gone. Mom has been taking it because you know nana is sick and she wanted to keep checking. I gotta go Jesus I'm scrared, someone killed Mr Kretsky. All kinds of people are dead & nuts like in a horra movie but we heard people are getting together (NORMAL people) at the Town Hall and thats where we are going. Maybe mom is there but jesus she had my PHONE. Daddy if you get here okay PLEASE COME GET ME.
Your Son, John Gavin Riddell
Tom finished, then spoke in a tone of kindly caution that terrified Clay more thoroughly than the most dire warning could have done. "You know that any people who gathered at the Town Hall have probably gone many different ways, don't you? It's been ten days, and the world has undergone a terrible convulsion."
"I know," Clay said. His eyes were stinging and he could feel his voice beginning to waver. "And I know his mother is probably..." He shrugged and flung an unsteady hand at the dark, sloping-away world beyond his leaf-strewn driveway. "But Tom, I have to go to the Town Hall and see. They may have left word. He may have left word."
"Yes," Tom said. "Of course you do. And when we get there, we can decide what comes next." He spoke in that same tone of awful kindness. Clay almost wished he'd laugh and say something like Come on, you poor sap--you don't really think you're going to see him again, do you? Get fucking real.
Jordan had read the note a second time, maybe a third and fourth. Even in his current state of horror and grief, Clay felt like apologizing to Jordan for Johnny's poor spelling and composition skills--reminding Jordan that his son must have written under terrible stress, crouched on the stoop, scribbling while his friends stood watching chaos swirl below.
Now Jordan lowered the note and said, "What does your son look like?"
Clay almost asked why, then decided he didn't want to know. At least not yet. "Johnny's almost a foot shorter than you. Stocky. Dark brown hair."
"Not skinny. Not blond."
"No, that sounds like his friend George."
Jordan and Tom exchanged a look. It was a grave look, but Clay thought there was relief in it, too.
"What?" he asked. "What? Tell me."
"The other side of the street," Tom said. "You didn't see because you were running. There's a dead boy about three houses down. Skinny, blond, red backpack--"
"That's George Gendron," Clay said. He knew George's red backpack as well as he knew Johnny's blue one with the strips of reflecting tape on it. "He and Johnny made a Puritan village together for their fourth-grade history project. They got an A-plus. George can't be dead." But he almost certainly was. Clay sat down on the stoop, which gave its old familiar creak under his weight, and put his face in his hands.
3
The Town Hall was at the intersection of Pond and Mill streets, in front of the town common and the body of water that gave the little village its name. The parking lot was almost empty except for the spaces reserved for employees, because both streets leading to the big white Victorian building were jammed with stalled vehicles. People had gotten as close as they could, then walked the rest of the way. For latecomers like Clay, Tom, and Jordan, it was a slow slog. Within two blocks of the Town Hall, not even the lawns were free of cars. Half a dozen houses had burned down. Some were still smoldering.
Clay had covered the body of the boy on Livery Lane--it had indeed been Johnny's friend George--but they could do nothing for the scores of swollen and putrefying dead they encountered as they made their slow way toward the Kent Pond Town Hall. There were hundreds, but in the dark Clay saw none that he recognized. That might have been true even in daylight. The crows had put in a busy week and a half.
His mind kept going back to George Gendron, who had been lying facedown in a clot of bloody leaves. In his note, John had said that George and Mitch, his other good friend this year in the seventh grade, had been with him. So whatever had happened to George must have happened after Johnny taped that note to the storm door and the three of them left the Riddell house. And since only George had been in those bloody leaves, Clay could assume Johnny and Mitch had gotten off Livery Lane alive.
Of course assume makes an ass out of you and me, he thought. The gospel according to Alice Maxwell, may she rest in peace.
And it was true. George's killer might have chased them and gotten them somewhere else. On Main Street, or Dugway Street, maybe neighboring Laurel Way. Stabbed them with a Swedish butcher knife or a couple of car aerials...
They had reached the edge of the Town Hall parking lot. On their left was a pickup truck that had tried to reach it overland and wound up mired in a boggy ditch less than five yards from an acre of civilized (and largely deserted) asphalt. On their right was a woman with her throat torn out and her features pecked away to black holes and bloody ribbons by the birds. She was still wearing her Portland Sea Dogs baseball cap, and her purse was still over her arm.
Killers weren't interested in money anymore.
Tom put a hand on his shoulder, startling him. "Stop thinking about what might have happened."
"How did you know--"
"It doesn't take a mind reader. If you find your son--you probably won't, but if you do--I'm sure he'll tell you the whole story. Otherwise... does it matter?"
"No. Of course not. But Tom... I knew George Gendron. The kids used to call him Connecticut sometimes, because his family moved from there. He ate hot dogs and hamburgers in our backyard. His dad used to come over and watch the Patriots with me."
"I know," Tom said. "I know." And, to Jordan, sharply: "Stop looking at her, Jordan, she's not going to get up and walk."
Jordan ignored him and kept staring at the crow-picked corpse in the Sea Dogs hat. "The phoners started trying to take care of their own as soon as they got back some base-level programming," he said. "Even if it was only fishing them out from under the bleachers and throwing them into the marsh, they tried to do something. But they don't take care of ours. They leave ours to rot where they fell." He turned to face Clay and Tom. "No matter what they say or what they promise, we can't trust them," he said fiercely. "We can't, okay?"
"I'm totally down with that," Tom said.
Clay nodded. "Me too."
Tom tipped his head toward the Town Hall, where a few emergency lights with long-life batteries still shone, casting a sickly yellow glow on the employees' cars, which now stood in drifts of leaves. "Let's go in there and see what they left behind."
"Yes, let's do it," Clay said. Johnny would be gone, he had no doubt of that, but some small part of him, some small, childish, never-say-die part, still continued to hope that he would hear a cry of "Daddy!" and his son would spring into his arms, a living thing, real weight in the midst of this nightmare.
4
They knew for sure the Town Hall was deserted when they saw what had been painted across the double doors. In the fading glow of the battery-powered emergency lights, the large, sloppy strokes of red paint looked like more dried blood:
KASHWAK=N0-F0
"How far away is this Kashwak place?" Tom asked.
Clay thought about it. "I'd say eighty miles, almost due north. You'd take Route 160 most of the way, but once you get on the TR, I don't know."
Jordan asked, "What exactly is a TR?"
"TR-90's an unincorporated township. There are a couple of little villages, some quarries, and a two-bit Micmac rez up north, but mostly it's just woods, bear, and deer." Clay tried the door and it opened to his hand. "I'm going to check this place out. You guys really don't have to come if you don't want to--you can be excused."
"No, we'll come," Tom said. "Won't we, Jordan?"
"Sure." Jordan sighed like a boy confronted with what may be a difficult chore. Then he smiled. "Hey, electric lights. Who knows when we'll get to see them again."
5
No Johnny Riddell came hurtling out of a dark room to throw himself into his father's arms, but the Town H
all was still redolent of the cooking that had been done on gas grills and hibachis by the people who'd gathered here following the Pulse. Outside the big main room, on the long bulletin board where notices of town business and upcoming events usually hung, perhaps two hundred notes had been posted. Clay, so tense he was nearly panting, began to study these with the intensity of a scholar who believes he may have found the lost Gospel of Mary Magdalene. He was afraid of what he might find and terrified of what he might not. Tom and Jordan retreated tactfully to the main meeting room, which was still littered with the remains of the refugees who had apparently spent several nights here, waiting for a rescue that had never come.
In the posted notes, Clay saw the survivors had come to believe that they could hope for more than rescue. They believed that salvation awaited them in Kashwak. Why that particular townlet, when probably all of TR-90 (certainly the northern and western quadrants) was dead to cell phone transmission and reception? The notes on the bulletin board weren't clear on that. Most seemed to assume that any readers would understand without needing to be told; it was a case of "everybody knows, everybody goes." And even the clearest of the correspondents had obviously been struggling to keep terror and elation balanced and under control; most messages amounted to little more than follow the Yellow Brick Road to Kashwak and salvation as soon as you can.
Three-quarters of the way down the board, half-hidden by a note from Iris Nolan, a lady Clay knew quite well (she volunteered at the tiny town library), he saw a sheet with his son's familiar, looping scrawl and thought, Oh, dear God, thank you. Thank you so much. He pulled it off the board, being careful not to tear it.
This note was dated: Oct 3. Clay tried to remember where he had been on the night of October 3 and couldn't quite do it. Had it been the barn in North Reading, or the Sweet Valley Inn, near Methuen? He thought the barn, but he couldn't be absolutely certain--it all ran together and if he thought too hard about it, it began to seem that the man with the flashlights on the sides of his head had also been the young man jabbing the car aerials, that Mr. Ricardi had killed himself by gobbling broken glass instead of hanging himself, and it had been Alice in Tom's garden, eating cucumbers and tomatoes.