'Don't you like hot dogs, Auntie Karen?' I asked.
'I prefer to stick with salad,' said Auntie Karen, though she didn't look as if she was relishing her carrot shreds and lettuce.
'She's on this silly diet,' said Uncle Bob. 'Though I can't think why you want to lose weight. You look splendid to me.' He gave her a pretend smack on her big white bottom.
'Bob! Stop it!' Auntie Karen snapped, but she didn't seem to mind too much.
Uncle Bob pulled a face at Alice and me and we giggled.
Auntie Karen had special squirty
tomato sauce to flavour the hot
dogs. It was very tempting. I
wrote Gemma in bright-red
writing over my hot dog. Alice
tried to write Alice on hers but she was far more wobbly.
'How come you're so good at it, Gem?'
'I've been practising. Wait till you see our cake at tea time,' I said, hugging myself.
If only I'd asked for us to have my special birthday tea then! But Auntie Karen gave us both vanilla ice cream with whipped cream and nuts and tinned cherries. We counted our cherry stones.
'Tinker, tailor, soldier, sailor, rich man – goodie 177
goodie,' said Alice. She hid her last cherry stone under her plate because she didn't want it to come out poor man.
'Who are you going to marry, Gemma? Oh, poor you – beggar man!'
'I think it might be quite good fun to marry a beggar man and be a beggar lady. We could have one of those scrawny beggar dogs and busk.' I picked up a leftover hot dog and hummed, pretending to be playing a
harmonica.
I forgot about the tomato sauce.
'Gemma! You look like you've got lipstick all round your mouth,' said Alice, trying to wipe me with her napkin.
'Hey, maybe it's blood and I'm a secret vampire and you look so tempting I've taken a secret nip at your lily-white neck,' I said, baring my teeth and bobbing my head at her.
Alice squealed.
Uncle Bob laughed.
Auntie Karen frowned. 'Not at the table, Gemma,' she said.
Her mouth kept going into odd shapes because she had a shred of carrot stuck in her tooth and she was trying to hook it out with her tongue. My own tongue ached to imitate her but I knew I was already getting right up Auntie Karen's nose. I dared one 178
weeny wobble of my tongue when Auntie Karen went to the fridge to get some fizzy water.
Alice was taking a long drink of Coke at the time.
She snorted terribly. Coke sprayed out of her nose in an impressive fountain.
'Gemma!' said Auntie Karen, not looking round.
'Wrong culprit!' said Uncle Bob, patting Alice on the back.
'Oh Alice!' Look, it's all over your DKNY T-shirt.
You'll have to change as we've got the Hamiltons coming.'
I frowned, absent-mindedly wiping scarlet saucy fingers over my own ordinary GAP T-shirt.
I wished the Hamiltons weren't invited. I especially wished wished wished Flora wasn't coming.
Fifteen
My heart sank when I saw Flora. She was exactly as I'd imagined, only more so. She had long blonde hair gently waving way past her shoulders, big blue eyes and pale creamy skin like rose petals. She was daintily skinny, with a delicate neck and pointy elbows, but her long legs had shapely dancer's calves. She wasn't wearing anything fancy, just a T-shirt and shorts, but the T-shirt was small enough to show off her flat tummy and the shorts were the sort you'd wear to a disco, not the baggy kind that make your bottom look saggy.
'This is Flora, Gemma,' Alice said. She pronounced her flowery name as if it was very special. She was looking at Flora as if she was a princess and Alice was her little serving maid.
Auntie Karen was dancing similar attendance on Flora's mum. She was like Flora but in full bloom. Uncle Bob couldn't stop looking at her too.
She was wearing white trousers very similar to 180
Auntie Karen's but she looked very different in them. Uncle Bob looked as if he was longing to pat her bottom too.
He managed to avert his eyes just long enough to look at Flora's dad and offer him a beer. Auntie Karen tutted irritably and said she'd made a special jug of Pimm's for everyone. I didn't know what Pimm's was but it looked very pretty, like dark lemonade with lots of fruit and mint leaves bobbing about like little boats.
My throat was very dry. I swallowed hopefully, even though there were only four glasses standing beside the jug. It was a very big jug. I watched Auntie Karen carefully pouring. She only used up half the lemonade stuff.
'Please may I have a little Pimm's too, Auntie Karen?' I asked, careful to say it very politely.
Auntie Karen sighed as if I was being deliberately cheeky. 'Don't be ridiculous, Gemma,' she said.
Auntie Karen raised her eyebrows at Flora's mum. Flora sniggered.
'I don't know what's so funny,' I said.
'Pimm's is alcoholic,' said Flora. 'Surely everyone knows that.' She dug Alice in the ribs. Alice giggled.
'Of course I know that Pimm's is a little bit alcoholic,' I said, sticking my chin in the air. 'I happen to be allowed to drink alcohol.'
181
'As if your mother would ever allow any such thing!' said Auntie
Karen.
'I didn't say my mother. I
frequently have a lager with
my grandad,' I said.
I wasn't exactly telling whopping great fibs. Grandad had let me have one sip out of his can once, just so I could see what it tasted like. It tasted horrible, as a matter of fact.
Uncle Bob burst out laughing. 'You're a caution, Gemma,' he said.
'That's one word for her,' said Auntie Karen.
'Now, I've made you girls a jug of real lemonade.
Take it down to the end of the garden and leave us in peace. You carry the tray, Flora. I know you'll be careful.'
We went out into the garden in procession, Flora first, bearing the tray of clinking glasses, Alice scur-rying second with the jug carefully clutched against her chest, and me trailing in the rear, not trusted to carry anything at all.
The end of the garden had exciting possibilities.
There were so many bushes we were mostly out of sight of the grown-ups sitting on the green garden furniture. The grass grew tuftily around our ankles here, and big white weedy flowers grew as high as our heads.
182
'We could play jungles, Alice,' I said excitedly.
'Play jungles?' said Flora.
'Gemma's good at pretend games,' said Alice quickly.
Flora blinked her blue eyes rapidly in a silly way to express astonishment. 'I haven't played pretend games for years!' she said. 'Still, you're Alice's guest, Gemma, so I suppose it's polite to let you.'
'I'm not Alice's guest, I'm her best friend,' I said fiercely.
'Let's have our lemonade,' said Alice. 'You look very hot, Gem.'
I was burning all over. I could have drunk a lake of lemonade and still been boiling. This was my one and only special day with Alice. Why did Flora have to barge in and start spoiling things? Now we couldn't play any proper games. All Flora seemed to want to do was talk.
She talked about their Egyptian project and how she'd found all this stuff on the internet and printed it out. Alice said she was clever. I said there wasn't really anything clever in printing stuff out. I tried to tell them heaps of stuff about the Egyptians but they stopped listening.
Flora talked about ballet and how she'd been picked to do a solo for their end-of-term perform-ance. Alice said she was brilliant. I said I thought ballet was silly and modern dancing was much more 183
fun. I tried twirling and tapping but I tripped and Flora laughed. Alice did too.
Flora talked about her riding lessons and her pony, Nutmeg. Alice said she was lucky, and she couldn't wait to get her own pony too. I said I was getting a white pony called Diamond. As soon as Flora opened her mouth I said I knew you called them greys but my Diamond was
as white as snow.
'Isn't he, Alice?' I said.
'She hasn't really got a pony, has she?' said Flora.
'Well . . .' said Alice.
She didn't say no. She didn't have to.
'Oh, I see – a pretend pony,' said Flora, and she clicked her teeth and galloped.
She'd never seen me pretending to ride Diamond but she was
horribly accurate. 'Neigh!'
Flora snorted, tossing her
head, trying to make Alice
laugh at me again.
Alice bent her head,
pulling up a clump of
long grass. She started plaiting some strands of it together. Her hair fell over her face so we couldn't see if she was laughing or not. I watched her neat little fingers carefully plaiting.
'What are you making?' said Flora.
I knew what she was making.
184
'It's just grass jewellery,' said Alice.
It wasn't any old jewellery. It was a friendship bracelet. I held my breath as she finished plaiting. Then she
looked up and smiled at me. She
wound it round my wrist and tied
up the ends. I took hold of her
hand and we squeezed each
other's thumbs.
'That looks cool. Make me one too!' Flora demanded.
Alice obediently made her one. It turned out bigger and better this time because she used longer grass and she divided it more evenly, but I didn't care. I had the first bracelet. The real friendship bracelet.
'Let's go and dress up in all your real jewellery, Alice,' said Flora. 'Can I wear the silver charm bracelet?'
What did she know about Alice's jewellery? And how could she ever think she could wear my favourite charm bracelet with the little silver Noah's Ark? I felt as if the weeny giraffes and elephants and tigers were biting me with tiny razor-sharp teeth.
Alice dithered when we were upstairs in her bedroom. She opened up the jewellery box and watched the little ballet dancer whirl round and round. She ran her fingers through all her treasures, 185
the gold heart on a chain, the tiny baby bracelet, the jade bangle, the silver locket and the Scottie dog sparkly brooch. She tried putting every single one of her rings on one finger, the Russian twisted gold and the garnet and all the Christmas cracker jewellery.
She didn't touch the silver charm bracelet.
Flora reached over and snatched it up. 'I just love this little bracelet,' she said, flicking each charm. 'I especially love the Noah's Ark. There are tiny little animals inside, Gemma, look.'
'I know,' I said. 'It's my favourite too. I always get to wear it when we dress up.'
'I asked first,' said Flora.
Alice looked at me helplessly.
'OK,' I said, shrugging. 'You wear it then, Flora.'
I decided not to mind too much. Alice had made the first friendship bracelet for me. That was what mattered. I was going to wear it for ever and ever.
Alice and Flora decked themselves up in all the jewellery.
'Would you like to wear my pink nightie like a grown-up dance dress, Gemma?' Alice offered.
'No thanks,' I said. 'I hate pink, you know I do.'
I suddenly realized how rude that sounded in the midst of Alice's immensely pink bedroom. 'Pink clothes,' I corrected myself. 'Pink's perfect for furniture and curtains and walls and stuff. I just don't go a bundle on pink dresses.'
186
I went over to the windowsill and picked up Melissa. 'She doesn't like them either,' I said, unbuttoning her pink satin frills.
'Careful with Rosebud. She's a very precious antique doll,' said Flora.
'I know she is. And what's all this Rosebud rubbish? Her name's Melissa.'
'Yeah but that's a yuck name. Rosebud's much prettier and it matches her rosy dress. I gave it to her specially,' said Flora.
'7 gave Melissa to Alice specially,' I said, easing her out of the pink frilly dress and dropping it on the carpet. Melissa looked so much happier in her long white drawers and petticoat.
'You couldn't possibly have bought her an antique doll,' said Flora. 'Alice said you and your family are really poor.'
Alice's cheeks went as pink as the rosebud frock.
'I didn't exactly say that, Flora. And Gemma did give me the doll. Only I still feel bad about it. Would you like her back now, Gem?'
I struggled, hugging Melissa
hard against my chest. It
was almost like hugging my
grandma. 'It's OK, you can
still keep her – but promise she
can stay being Melissa. She
hates the name Rosebud.'
187
'She's a doll, Gemma. She can't think,' said Flora.
That's all she knew. Melissa's dark glass eyes were fixed on Flora, hating and hating her. And I hated her too.
Then Auntie Karen called us to say that tea was ready. She'd laid it all out on the garden table, with a yellow and green checked tablecloth and matching napkins. The food itself picked up the yellow and green theme: cucumber sandwiches, golden slithers of quiche and pizza, green salad, lemon tart and cheesecake.
I looked round anxiously. 'Where's my cake, Auntie Karen?'
'Oh yes. Sorry, dear, I forgot,' said Auntie Karen.
'Still, the table's a bit full now. Perhaps we should save it till later.'
'But I won't be here later,' I said. 'Grandad's coming for me soon. Please let's have my cake now.
We can make room for it, easy-peasy.' I tried demonstrating, moving the plates around.
'All right, all right, careful! I'll do it, Gemma,'
said Auntie Karen.
188
She went into the kitchen and
brought out my cake on a white
plate. It was richly chocolate and
resplendent, with Alice and
Gemma carefully iced over the top and little rosettes all round.
'Oh Gemma!' said Alice. 'It's a wonderful cake!'
'My goodness,' said Auntie Karen. 'Don't tell me you made it yourself, Gemma!'
'It looks very yummy,' said Uncle Bob. He smiled at me encouragingly. 'I think I'll cut myself a great big slice.'
'Oh no! Please! Alice and I have to cut it together,'
I said, rushing to stop him.
Auntie Karen sighed. 'Whose little tea party is this, Gemma?' she said, raising her eyebrows at Flora's mum again.
'Please can we cut the cake, Mum?' said Alice.
'Oh very well, you girls can cut the cake,' said Auntie Karen. 'Then maybe we'll all be able to eat our tea in peace.'
She took the cake knife . . . and handed it to Floral
'Not Flora!' I said. 'It's just for Alice and me.'
I suppose it sounded horribly spoilt and rude but I couldn't help it. Auntie Karen glared at me.
'Now you're going too far, Gemma. Flora dear, you go ahead and cut the cake.'
189
'No! No, you don't understand. It's so Alice and I can make a special wish,' I said desperately, elbow-ing my way nearer my precious cake.
Flora still had the cake knife. She smiled at me.
'I'm going to have my special wish first,' she said, and she pressed the knife deep into the creamy chocolate topping.
I couldn't bear it. My hands reached out. They clasped the plate.
'No, Gemma! No!' Alice shouted.
I couldn't stop myself. I picked the cake up and thrust it right in Flora's smug pink face.
Sixteen
G
'
et in the car,' said Grandad. 'Blooming heck, Gem, you don't do things by halves! You've really done it now. You've really really done it.'
I knew that. I knew Auntie Karen would stab me with her cake knife if I ever came visiting again. I knew Flora would never ever ever let me e-mail Alice now. I knew I couldn't be Alice's best friend any more. I'd acted like such a crazy person she probably looked on me as her worst enemy.
> She was mopping Flora up now, still wiping cream out of her eyebrows and chocolate sponge out of her long blonde hair.
'Alice won't want to see me ever again,' I wept.
'I think you're mistaken,' said Grandad, looking round.
There was Alice running out of the house towards us, Melissa in her arms. Auntie Karen was shouting after her furiously, but Alice took no notice.
'Here, Gem,' she panted, thrusting Melissa through the car window at me. 'You have her back.
191
It's only fair. She's yours. I never
, called her Rosebud. That was just Flora.'
'Al, I'm sorry I chucked the cake
at Flora. It was just it was our cake and our wish.'
'I know. Flora was asking for it.
I know, Flora was asking for it.
Oh Gem, her face!' Alice suddenly burst out laughing and I did too.
Auntie Karen started running towards us, shouting.
'Uh-oh. Better get going, Gem,' said Grandad.
I leaned right out the window and gave Alice one last hug. 'We're still best friends?' I said, as Grandad drove off.
'Of course we are,' Alice shouted over her shoulder, as Auntie Karen hauled her back into the house.
I sank back on my seat, still giggling.
'You're a very very bad little girl. It's not the slightest bit funny,' said Grandad sternly.
'I know,' I said, holding Melissa tight, burying my nose in her soft silky hair.
I stopped giggling. I started sobbing instead.
'Oh Gemma! Come on, now, darling, I didn't mean to make you cry,' said Grandad, patting my knee.
'It's me that's making me cry, Grandad. You've been lovely to me and arranged this trip specially.
192
I'm the one who mucked it all up. I always do. I can't seem to help it. And even though Alice and I are still best friends we'll never ever be able to see each other now. What am I going to do?' I started crying harder. 'I know she's Flora's best friend too.'
'What, old Cake Face?' said Grandad.
I snorted through my sobs.
'Not that it's a laughing matter,' said Grandad.
'If your mum got to hear about it she'd hang, draw and quarter you, young Gemma.'
'You won't tell on me, will you, Grandad?'
'What do you take me for?' said Grandad. 'I'm no snitch. Now, listen to me, Gem darling. Maybe Alice has got the right idea. You'll still be her absolutely the-bee's-knees best friend, but she's got the comfort of having Flora Cake Face as her everyday friend. Maybe you should count your blessings that you've got an everyday pal too.'