Page 1 of Excuse Me!




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  Transcriber's Note:

  Inconsistent hyphenation and spelling in the original document have been preserved. Obvious typographical errors have been corrected.

  The book uses both "Doc." and "Doc".

  Italic text is denoted by _underscores_.

  EXCUSE ME!

 

  EXCUSE ME!

  _By_ RUPERT HUGHES Author of "The Old Nest"

  WITH FIVE ILLUSTRATIONS

  A. L. BURT COMPANY PUBLISHERS NEW YORK

  Copyright, 1911, by THE H. K. FLY COMPANY

  CONTENTS

  CHAPTER PAGE

  I. The Wreck of the Taxicab 9

  II. The Early Birds and the Worm 16

  III. In Darkest Chicago 26

  IV. A Mouse and a Mountain 35

  V. A Queen Among Women 47

  VI. A Conspiracy in Satin 53

  VII. The Masked Minister 60

  VIII. A Mixed Pickle 65

  IX. All Aboard! 75

  X. Excess Baggage 84

  XI. A Chance Rencounter 88

  XII. The Needle in the Haystack 92

  XIII. Hostilities Begin 99

  XIV. The Dormitory on Wheels 103

  XV. A Premature Divorce 106

  XVI. Good Night, All! 115

  XVII. Last Call for Breakfast 122

  XVIII. In the Composite Car 128

  XIX. Foiled! 139

  XX. Foiled Again! 142

  XXI. Matrimony To and Fro 147

  XXII. In the Smoking Room 156

  XXIII Through a Tunnel 164

  XXIV. The Train Butcher 173

  XXV. The Train Wrecker 180

  XXVI. Delilah and the Conductor 186

  XXVII. The Dog-on Dog Again 191

  XXVIII. The Woman-Hater's Relapse 203

  XXIX. Jealousy Comes Aboard 213

  XXX. A Wedding on Wheels 222

  XXXI. Foiled Yet Again 227

  XXXII. The Empty Berth 233

  XXXIII. Fresh Trouble Daily 237

  XXXIV. The Complete Divorcer 252

  XXXV. Mr. and Mrs. Little Jimmie 266

  XXXVI. A Duel for a Bracelet 273

  XXXVII. Down Brakes! 278

  XXXVIII. Hands Up! 284

  XXXIX. Wolves in the Fold 296

  XL. A Hero in Spite of Himself 304

  XLI. Clickety-Clickety-Clickety 308

  ILLUSTRATIONS

  No tips were to be expected from such transients _Frontispiece_

  PAGE

  "Now it's my vacation, and I'm going to smoke up" 62

  Marjorie fairly forced the dog on him 94

  Down upon the unsuspecting elopers came this miraculous cloudburst of ironical rice 118

  "Why, Richard--Chauncey!--er--Billy! I'm amazed at you! Let go, or I'll scream!" 276

  EXCUSE ME!