Sinking into a nearby chair, Reno propped his arms on his knees, loosely cradling the coffee cup in his hands. He slid a sideways glance at Damien. “That obvious?”
Damien gave a one shouldered shrug. “To me, maybe a few others that know you well enough, like the captain.”
“Shit.” Just what he needed, people seeing what an idiot he was and poking their nose into his messed up life.
“So what’s the problem? Why fight it? If you have a thing for her, why not go for it?”
“I did. Twice. Both times I screwed up. We ended up fighting.” He stared at the floor thinking of how he’d relived those encounters in his dreams more than once.
“So? Making up is half the fun.”
He shook his head. “It would never work.”
“Why?”
“Because I’m an Enforcer. A potential rogue. I function well enough within the structure of Lycan Link but outside of here… ” He shook his head. “We both know that most of us wouldn’t survive in the ‘real’ world. Our wolves could turn at a moment’s notice. They’d want to establish a pack of their own or overtake someone else’s yet have no fucking idea of what to do after the fact. I won’t do that to a legitimate Alpha or his pack. And starting your own pack takes money and territory, neither of which I have. Nope. My life is here at Lycan Link.”
“And that’s what you think Brandi wants? A pack and a home with a ‘safe’ male at her side?”
He gave a dark laugh. “Don’t they all?”
“Well… ” Damien paused and shrugged. “Some, but not all. Beth doesn’t seem to care either way. She says she likes a man with an edge of danger about him and,” he paused and chuckled. “She thinks this whole rogue business is highly over-rated. According to her, I’m… er… ” Damien stumbled, a faint flush creeping up his neck, but he managed to finish the sentence. “… an oversized lap dog.”
Reno would have laughed if it wouldn’t have hurt his head so much. The idea of Damien being a lapdog was ridiculous. He’d seen him in action and knew the kid could be as cold and dangerous as the situation called for. “Next time I see her, I’ll tell her a few stories about you that might change her mind.”
“Go ahead. She might seem pretty meek but my Beth doesn’t frighten easily.”
“Your Beth?” Reno questioned the term. “How long have you known her? A week?”
“Yeah. A week. But she’s mine.” The corners of Damien’s mouth curled up, his gaze confident. “I told her what I did for a living, that there’s some rogue in my makeup. She said she didn’t care, that when you love, you take the good with the bad. She’s even willing to live in the housing with me.”
Even with a hangover, Reno’s senses went on high alert. Something was wrong with Damien. The kid didn’t talk that way. He banged females then sent them on their way. Frowning, he studied his partner carefully. “Who are you and what have you done with Damien Masterson?”
“Say what?”
“Last time I checked, Damien Masterson’s mantra was the old ‘wham, bam, thank-you ma’am’ and now you’re talking about Beth living in the housing with you?”
Damien shrugged and looked uncomfortable for a moment, then seemed to catch himself and sat up straighter. “Maybe I don’t want to be that person anymore.”
“Does she know you’re on call twenty-four seven and could be away for weeks at a time?”
“Yeah. She’s cool with that.”
“What about pups?”
Damien shrugged and raised his chin, a sure sign he was getting pissed at Reno’s questions. “If that happens, we’ll get a place on the edge of town and I’ll try to get put on shorter cases.”
“And when they grow up and need a pack? Did you think of that, kid?” Some devil was prompting him to squash his partner’s plans with a heavy dose of reality.
Damien suddenly stood up and growled. “Dammit, Reno. Quit calling me a kid. I’m twenty-four! And no, I don’t know what will happen if we have pups. I don’t have all the answers. I know most Enforcers never mate. That being here is almost a life sentence but I’m not willing to settle for that. Not anymore.” He shoved his chair out of the way and stalked over to the window pulling the blinds aside. “I’ve never had anything that was my own, Reno. I’m like those refugees out there. This is my chance. With Beth, I can have a real life and I’m not going to waste the opportunity.” He paused and seemed to be trying to reel in his temper. “You shouldn’t either.”
Reno was silent. Damien didn’t get riled up about much. The kid was pretty laid back and had never given a hint that he wanted more than the life he had here. Apparently his partner had been harbouring some secret hopes and dreams behind a devil-may-care attitude. It was sobering to realize he didn’t know him as well as he’d thought. Staring into his coffee cup he responded quietly. “I hope it works for you. I hope you and your Beth can have a good life together.”
“Me too.” Damien shoved his hands in his back pockets and turned around, a self-deprecating look on his face. “Mind you, I haven’t asked her yet. She’s coming to the lunar run with me at the end of the week, though.”
“Good luck to you, kid… er… Damien.” Reno had used the term ‘kid’ when Damien first joined the Enforcers as a way to keep him in line, to remind him who was the senior partner. Since then, the name had stuck and it would be a hard habit to break. Still, he’d try.
Reno stood up, having had enough of the heavy, heartfelt conversation for the time being. His head protested the sudden movement and he groaned. “I’m going to get some food from the cafeteria. Do you want anything?”
“Nah. I’m good. But Reno? I meant it. Don’t give up on Brandi too fast. I think she’s what you need.”
Reno didn’t answer. There was nothing to say.
Once in the cafeteria, he tried to eat but the food curdled in his stomach. Damien’s words kept playing through his mind. “Don’t give up on Brandi… she’s what you need.” Well he knew firsthand that you didn’t always get everything you wanted or needed in life. Sometimes you were dealt a shitty hand and you had to play it as best as you could.
“Hey, Reno!” Someone gave his shoulder a friendly tap and he looked up to see Al grinning down at him. “Great party last night, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah. Great.” Hoping Al would take the hint and leave, he turned and stared at the plate of food in front of him. He tried to give the impression of eating by poking the contents with his fork. Instead, the man sat down and continued talking.
“The food was awesome and I think everyone was there. Even Captain Fielding put in an appearance. Of course, it’s no surprise since everyone likes Brandi.”
Reno grunted. Yeah, everyone liked Brandi, even people who had no business liking her, such as himself.
“I saw you two talking last night. Make any progress?” Al gave him a speculative look and Reno struggled to contain his growl of annoyance. What was it with everyone lately? Did he look like a fucking candidate for the lonely hearts club or something?
“And you care because… ?” His tone was deadly but the other man didn’t seem concerned.
Al shrugged and grinned. “I just think you two would make a great couple and it’s frustrating to sit on the sidelines and watch both of you acting like pig-headed fools.”
Reno stared at him stone-faced, wondering if Al had a death wish.
“Brandi talks to me and I’m good at reading between the lines. She has a thing for you; she just won’t admit it. And I’ve noticed how you watch her, too. Tell you what, when she comes back from vacation, ask her out. I’ll put in a good word for you.” Al stood up still talking. “Yeah, that should work. You gotta make your move soon Reno, before she gets her own territory. You know what they say about he who hesitates.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
Al patted his shoulder and left. Reno relaxed the hand he’d been clenching to prevent himself from hitting the man. God, for a DC officer Al was thick as a brick or just plain s
tupid. Any fool should have been able to sense the waves of irritation coming at him and left after the first ten seconds. He shook his head wondering how Brandi had managed to stand working with the man every day.
He stared at the fork in his hand. It was now bent into an unusable shape and he gave a snort of disgust. Dropping the mangled utensil onto the tray of uneaten food, he got up and dumped the whole thing in the garbage before wandering outside.
The hot summer sun was a blazing orb in the sky, heat rising from the ground in shimmering waves. Most of Lycan Links' members were inside right now, hiding from the oppressive weather in the cool underground halls of the complex. In the distance, the drone of cars on a highway could be heard but beyond that all was still. Even the insect life seemed to be dozing as the midday temperatures rose.
The solitude might have bothered some but Reno appreciated the quiet. His body still protested the alcoholic abuse he’d subjected it to and Al’s blathering had made his head pound even worse than it already was. The serenity was soothing.
Finding a tree with a modicum of shade he sat down and leaned against the rough bark. Grass, brown and crisp from the summer drought, pricked at his palms as he braced himself but he ignored the small discomfort.
Instead, he focussed inward, trying to calm his thoughts and still the anxious feeling that filled him. Brandi was leaving on vacation today—had in fact left already—and somehow he was sure he could feel her increasing distance almost like a physical tug on his heart. It made no sense. Two physical encounters and a heated kiss didn’t create a bond between two wolves, at least not one like this. At times, he was almost sure he heard her inside his head but could never make the words come into focus. God, was he going crazy?
Last night he’d tried to drink himself into oblivion but all he’d done was waste a good bottle of booze. He’d fallen asleep near dawn but dreams of Brandi had punctuated his slumber, all their encounters, their fights, the sex… More than once he’d woken up hard as a rock and aching with need. Finally, he’d stumbled out of bed and stood under a cold shower until all his body parts were numb.
Reno rubbed his forehead and stared out across the vast expanse of the prairies. He was on a bluff that provided a bit of a view beyond the tree-lined perimeter of Lycan Link. A slight breeze ruffled his hair and sent the long grass into a swaying motion like waves rolling across the ocean. This was his home and had been for the past eight years but today it felt strange, as if he no longer belonged here and needed to be somewhere else.
Giving in to an impulse, he shifted forms and set out at a moderate trot. Perhaps this was what he needed. It had been a while since he’d allowed his wolf free rein to roam. And the full moon was less than a week away. That might account for his restlessness.
Small openings in the fence around Lycan Link provided an easy means for the werewolves to slip in and out of the complex unnoticed. Reno made use of one, heading out with no particular destination in mind. There was no peace in his soul but running until he was exhausted might provide some relief.
For a moment he stood still, allowing his wolf to test the air and scan for any danger that might lurk outside the compound. Nostrils flaring, ears twitching, the beast catalogued each scent, sight, and sound before giving a satisfied huff and shaking its head. Pleased to be free, it stretched languidly then pranced about before beginning to run.
As muscles warmed, his stride lengthened until he reached his maximum speed. Wind, hot and dry, whipped his eyes and whistled past his ears as he sped along. The dry grass crackled underfoot, some of the sharp edges slicing his leathery paws but he didn’t care. He ran to escape the loneliness that filled him, the restlessness that was afflicting him with ever increasing frequency. At thirty-one years of age he shouldn’t be facing a crossroad in his life. However, no matter how hard he tried to deny it, it was there and it was all tied to Brandi Johansson.
He let his human self sink lower, hiding from the troublesome emotions behind the wolf’s consciousness. In what was akin to a half-somnambulant state, he idly listened to the wolf’s thinking.
Survival. That’s what’s important. Food, water, shelter. His eyes flashed back and forth as he ran, alert to find the basic necessities. Establish a territory. Protect it. Gather a pack. Find a mate…
The wolf’s stride faltered. He slowed to a walk and finally stopped unsure what to do.
Every wolf needs a mate. There was a suitable one present but the man who is our Alpha let her go. Now she is moving farther and farther away.
Cocking its head to the side, the wolf considered the problem.
A chase. That’s what’s needed! Perhaps the female wishes to be pursued. That’s why the man let her go.
Excitement flared at the idea of using its wiles to track down the runaway female. Throwing back its head, the wolf howled its intent, giving warning to all that the hunt was on. Taking off at full speed, he raced over the plains, mile after mile until he began to stumble from exhaustion. His sides heaved, his tongue hung from his mouth.
Scenting nearby water, he made his way to a shallow pool. It was almost dried up, weeks having passed since the last rain. Dried mud, baked hard and deeply cracked, lined the edges and he picked his way through until he reached the remaining moisture.
It was tepid but drinkable and he slaked his thirst while keeping a watchful eye on his surroundings. A field mouse scuttled by, rustling the dried grasses. A hawk circled overhead drifting on the air currents while searching for its next meal. All was calm and peaceful in the animal kingdom. If only he could be so lucky.
Though hot and tired, the wolf had no intention of stopping, sure if it just ran far enough and fast enough his mate would be found. Reno sighed and pushed his way to the surface, though a part of him longed to stay hidden. No. He couldn’t let the wolf continue. Brandi was gone, probably flying to some exotic resort on a tropical island. His wolf couldn’t track her, no matter how good its skills.
Sorry boy, he murmured, trying to sooth the beast by mentally scratching the creature’s ears. There’s more to life than a mate, he assured it. Our duty is more important. Duty to the pack, to the entire Lycan community, supersedes our personal needs.
The wolf didn’t agree and muttered darkly that both were possible but Reno knew better.
You are in charge, the Alpha in our relationship. The wolf stated emphatically.
Reno nodded in agreement wondering what point the creature was trying to make. Several times he and the wolf had fought for dominance but he’d always proved to be the stronger personality.
And I’ve bowed to your will. But if you are my Alpha, then you are not fulfilling your duty. An Alpha should provide all that is needed to keep its pack happy.
Reno nodded again.
Well, a mate is needed to keep me happy yet you do nothing!
We’ve had sex. Reno rolled his eyes hardly able to believe he was even having this conversation. He hated it when his wolf tried to be clever.
Over two years ago. The wolf pointed out with a huff.
Reno winced. It had been a long time but other females didn’t seem to appeal to him anymore.
And sex is not the point. Finding a mate is. One was present; a good mate. Why did you let the female leave? If we are alone, it’s your own fault. It’s like the man said to you. “He who hesitates… ” The wolf smirked at him and Reno scowled.
We’re alone because of you, he pointed out. If you weren’t so strong, a near rogue that’s ready to fly off the handle—
Only because you give me no freedom! And I’ve improved. You said so yourself. And if we had a mate at our side to help—
The screaming of the hawk broke into their conversation and both stopped to watch the bird swoop down in an attempt to catch its prey. This time the bird was unlucky and flew up with empty claws.
See, Reno pointed out. You don’t always get what you want.
But at least you should try. If you never make an attempt, you’ll always wonder, alway
s be alone.
Reno sighed. The creature would never understand the complexities of the real world. Life wasn’t that simple. Rising to his feet, he headed back to Lycan Link.
“Nice of you to join us, Smith. I hope I’m not interfering with your personal plans?” Captain Fielding gave him an annoyed look as he slid into the meeting room. He’d totally lost track of the time and was late for their weekly meeting.
“Sorry, sir.” Reno took his usual seat and began to flick through the pile of papers on the table in front of him.
The captain cleared his throat and continued. “As I was saying, our latest plan to flush out the Purists’ leader will have to be revamped—”
Reno jerked his head up and gave the man a sharp look. “But last night you said—”
“That was last night. Today’s a different story.” The Captain hesitated and then sighed. “I guess I can’t keep it from you any longer.”
“Keep what?” Damien leaned forward as did several of the other team members.
“There’s a leak inside Headquarters.”
The news caused a general rumbling to ensue and it was some time before the captain could regain control of the group. “We’ve been suspicious for a while now. Every time we’re close to finding the leader, he slips away. Someone has to be tipping him off and the information has to be coming from inside our organization.”
“Proof?” Reno barked out the question. Something was off about this; he could sense it, but what?
“I’m not at liberty to reveal that yet, Reno.”
Reno and the captain stared at each other for a long moment. The older man’s gaze was steady, his chin lifted ever so slightly. Slowly, Reno nodded. “All right. I’ll accept that. For now.”
Tension was thick in the air between them and the rest of the team shifted in their chairs, eyes darting between the two leaders. Captain Fielding was the equivalent of their Alpha while Reno was like their Beta in the pseudo pack. A power struggle between the leaders made everyone uneasy. Packs thrived on stability.