He lays his fist into the wall next to my head, his chest heaving up and down and his face angry. So angry that I can see the veins pulsating in his neck.
“Fuck you, Phoebe. You wanna know why I fucking left that morning before you woke? Because I don’t fucking do goodbyes, I couldn’t do goodbye with you. I can’t do this…” he gestures his hands around in the air, “…with you! Ever. You need to pack your fucking shit and take that sexy little ass back to Westbeach where it belongs.”
Then he turns and walks back into the now silent room, slamming the door behind him. I’m standing there, silent and speechless, feeling like he just punched me in the gut. What a fucking mess. I pick up my eyes, attempting to collect my self-esteem before turning back around and walking back out to the parking lot where the SUV will be parked. I pop open the door and slide in.
“Can you take me back to the hotel, please?”
The same young driver looks to me in his rear vision mirror, a smile on his lips. “Sure, Phoebe.”
I look out the window at all the passing trees. I can’t wait to get back to my room and call Meadow and Melissa. This is all kinds of fucked up, and I was over it like—yesterday.
“You feeling okay?” the driver asks me from his front seat.
“Sure, I’ll handle it. I never did get your name?” I say, looking over his shoulder.
“Rellik,” he answers me, directly but friendly.
“Rellik?” I ask. “That’s different.”
He smiles winking at me. “Don’t ask.”
“Okay, nice to meet you Rellik. Will you be coming with us all the way around the globe?”
He nods his head. “Yes, ma’am.” I decide to cut off this conversation and pull my phone out of my bag, flicking through Facebook while I sit here. Once I see that no one is up to much, it’s just the same regular bitch fest, I lock my phone and slip it back into my bag.
We pull into the hotel and I give a light thanks to Rellik before dragging my sorry ass back into the expensive monstrosity of a building.
Sliding my card down the entry lock, I walk into the empty room. Nettie has really grown on me, but having some quiet time to myself is welcoming. I slip off my shoes, letting down my hair, attempting to fluff if up out of the flat, oily mess it’s become from the day, before getting into the shower.
“You wanna talk about what the fuck just happened?” Marcus asks as soon as I enter the room.
“No,” I reply.
“Well, tough shit, son. What the fuck was that about?”
I stay silent, calming my breathing down. When Phoebe and I are good, we’re fucking amazing. But I’m learning that when we’re not good, we’re fucking destructive.
“Ryder, you need to lay the fuck off her,” Ryker adds from the wall he’s leaning against.
I tilt my head at him. “Oh? And why’s that? She gives as much as she gets.”
“Fuck that, Ryder. Why the fuck are you so angry at her? You need to sort your shit out, man.” I look around the room, locking eyes with Nettie.
“Leave, all of you who are not in this band…leave.”
“Ryder, this is my room!” Alyx answers.
I look at her, jaw clenched. “Leave, now.”
She rolls her eyes and they all follow her out.
Once they have all left, I turn to Ryker. “One, don’t fucking talk about me and Phoebe like you know, Ryker, ‘cause you don’t. Two? I’m not angry at her.”
“Yes, you are.”
Fuck, he doesn’t know when to stop.
He continues, “You’re angry because you fell in love with her, and you’re taking that shit out on her and it isn’t fair, Ryder.”
My blood heats at the words Ryker just used. I’m not stupid. However, I didn’t fall in love with her. Falling, maybe, but not fallen.
“You don’t know anything Ry, just shut up.”
“All right, this is what’s going to happen,” Marcus begins, walking to me. “You’re not opening with that song tonight…do the usual. I don’t think you’re ready to sing it yet, and it needs to be perfect. That song is going to be huge, there’s no doubt about that.” He grasps onto my shoulder in a fatherly way, his eyes forming wrinkles around the edges. We’ve caused Marcus a lot of stress over our years, but he’s paid well so I’m sure he will live.
“Look, you boys know I have never done this before, I don’t have kids. You’re all the sons I’ve ever had. Which is a good and a bad thing.” He shakes his head with a smile. “Go out there, and give your fans a show that they deserve, that’s all that should matter right now. Understood? Sort your dicks out later.”
My eyes snap open at the brightness that’s filling the room. “Jesus, who the fucking fuck opened the curtains.”
“We gotta go. Get up.” It’s Nettie, of course, it’s always fricking Nettie.
“All right. I’m getting up…I’m getting up. Jesus. Hey, where did you go last night?”
“I had to stay behind and re-do her make-up throughout the concert.”
“Oh, didn’t think of that. I’ll just have a quick shower. Are you okay?”
She drops her clothes that she was holding and smiles. “I’m fine, Phoebe. Go have your shower.”
I swing my legs over the bed, crawling into the shower and washing up quickly. I’m rubbing soap suds over myself thinking over all this shit. “Fuck’s sake,” I whisper out, running my hands over my face. I know I’m going to see Ryder again. A lot. This is such a mess.
After I’m showered and changed, I pick up my phone and dial Meadow. I miss her so much.
“Hey,” I say, putting my phone between my ear and my shoulder.
“Hey, how are you doing?” she asks.
“Yeah, not good. Ryder finally spoke to me last night.”
“Oh? Why’s that not good. What’d he say?” Her tone is a little clipped.
“Oh, you know, that I’m not wanted here and I should take my ass back to Westbeach where it belongs.” I leave out the sexy part, there’s no point telling Meadow anyway, she’s immune to any man’s charm. Her level of interest in the opposite sex is so far below zero, I thought she may have swung the other way. But no, she’s as straight as I am, just selective. Meaning zero because I’ve never seen her with anyone—ever.
“What? What a dick move.”
“Yeah, I know. How’s everything back home?” The silence is deafening. “Meadow? What’s going on?” I drop the items in my hand, clutching my phone and changing ears.
“Yeah, sorry,” she mumbles out before continuing, “Look. I’m not supposed to say anything to you. Melissa gave me the run down on how you don’t need to know. But, there’s a war brewing within the club or something, and some guys from Las Vegas are coming to Westbeach soon apparently.”
I swallow my fear, my eyes crossing. “Who? We don’t have a charter in Las Vegas?”
“I don’t know. I just thought I’d let you know.”
“Thanks, yes I did want to know. We’re heading to London next. I’ll call you when I get there, okay?
“Okay, I love you and stay safe.”
“I love you, too.”
I hang up my phone, brushing my hair out of my face, and taking a seat on my bed.
“Shit.”
Nettie looks to me. “Is everything okay?”
I shake my head. “Not really, something’s going down with my family.”
“Oh, family dramas, gotta love ‘em.”
I shake my head, pursing my lips. “Mmm, not my kind. My family dramas involve guns.”
Her eyes shoot up in surprise. “Why?”
“Because my family? Yeah, they’re the Sinful Souls MC. My dad, he was one of the founding brothers.”
Her face drops a little. “I’ve heard about them. There’s some in New Orleans.”
I nod my head. “Yeah, we have a chapter in New Orleans.” Though I haven’t seen Hellboy in a long time, his charter is one of the strongest within Sinful Souls.
She smile
s. “You’re seriously one of a kind.”
I shake my head in disagreement. “I wish I wasn’t. I need to call my brother real quick.”
I dial Blake’s number and he picks up on the third ring.
“Speedy, sup?”
“What’s this war brewing?”
Silence.
“Fuck.”
“Not the answer I was looking for big brother.”
“Who told you?”
“Who is irrelevant, Blake. This is my family too. How are Vicky and the babies?”
“Vick is fine, Phoebe.”
“Kalie and Alaina?
“They are fine, Phoebe.”
“Fuck’s sake. Why would you think I wouldn’t want to know? If anything happens…” My brother knows about my fear of losing anyone who’s close to me.
“It’s just a little issue we’re having with Heaven’s Reapers MC.”
“Heaven’s Reapers? I thought we were good with them?”
“We were, and then Abby happened.”
“Abby? What’s wrong with Abby?”
“Look. I’m not going to get into what’s happening over the phone, but you cannot move your ass from that side of the world. Understood?”
“Yes…” I seethe down the phone. “Just tell me what the fuck is wrong with Abby?” She’s the closest thing I had to a sister growing up.
“Abby’s fine. This has to do with a certain Russian. Look, just stay your ass there. You know I can’t talk about this shit with you over the phone.”
“Fuck’s sake. I’m coming home in two weeks. I’ll finish up in Australia then come home. They’re doing three concerts there.”
“Fuck. No, you’re not. You keep your ass there and I’m dead serious, Phoebe.”
“I need to be there!”
“You fucking don’t. You need to be as far away from this as possible. Nothing’s going on right now, no one is on lockdown. We will bring Beast and his crew in from Las Vegas if anything turns sour. We do not need you in here causing me to worry about another person.”
“Beast is coming?” I ask my tone hitching.
“Yes, if shit turns south. Another reason for you to keep your ass there. He’s bringing a few of his boys down. We don’t need you running boss bitch around here. Jesus, Alaina does it enough for everyone.”
Beast is complicated. I met him when I was sixteen when I came home for a brief vacation. He was twenty-one at the time and messed up. He came from the most screwed up background you could think of. No, not from screwed up parents—well, a little bit of that. His background is something I’ve never heard of in my entire life. As much as I would like to understand it, I never could. It’s not only complicated but very, very dangerous. My knowledge of his past is limited, though, thanks to Blake. He spoke hardly any words when I met him, more like grunts. He was huge, built much like Ade, maybe bigger. The energy that surrounds him was that of a broken, worn down energy. Again, like Ade, only where Ade was still confident and a smart ass, Beast was serious and…well, severely scared.
I took to him straight away, naturally. He and I had formed a close friendship. He told me a few things, but not all. I will always hold a place in my heart for him. Blake always thought we had a thing, that wasn’t true at all. He’s now the president of The Devil’s Own MC Las Vegas. Blake and Zane wanted him in Sinful Souls, but because Beast’s father was a founding member of The Devil’s Own, it was only fitting for him to go out on his own. He and the boys still hold a tight friendship and always have each other’s backs. Especially, because Las Vegas MC is the closest to Westbeach that Sinful Souls MC have. We have charters all over the state, but not close to Westbeach. I haven’t seen him in years, so I’m not sure what he’d be like now, but I’d love to see him.
“Fine!” I say, my tone annoyed. “Promise me something, though?”
“What?” Blake grinds out.
“If you go on lockdown, get someone to collect Melissa and Meadow, please.” He’s about to say something so I interrupt with, “I’m serious, Blake. I love those girls. You make sure they’re safe!”
“Done. I promise.”
“Okay, I love you.”
“Yeah, I love you, too,” he mumbles grumpily, before hanging up the phone.
Throwing my phone down, I put my hands over my eyes.
God, what a mess.
Nettie comes and sits next to me on the bed, throwing her hands around my shoulders. “It’ll be okay. Hey, I’m coming to your circuit opening!”
I laugh, dropping my hands. “I expect to see you a lot more than that, Nettie.”
She smiles a big smile. “Yay, I’m glad.”
I’m glad too.
We’re walking on the tarmac of the private airport ready to board another flight, this time to London when Rellik comes running up clutching his bag.
“Hey,” I say to him as he walks up beside Nettie and me.
“Hey,” he replies with a small smile. I have to wonder how old he is. He looks to be in his early twenties, which is interesting. How did he manage to snag such a job?
“Whose driver are you? Alyx or Twisted Transistor?”
“Alyx.” He smiles weakly as we walk down the aisle of the jet.
I place my bag beside Nettie and walk to Belinda quickly before Ryder boards the plane. Once I reach her it’s too late, the whole lot of them are moving on board. My eyes drift up shortly before coming back to Belinda.
“My family are having some issues. I’m not leaving, but if I have to, I apologize now. I just thought I’d give you a heads up.”
She nods her head. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah, I just have one crazy ass family.”
She laughs, patting my shoulder. “No problem, Phoebe.”
I like her. Well, I like her enough anyway. As I begin to walk back to my seat, I brush past Ryder, a grip eloping around my wrist.
“Are you okay?” he asks referring to my conversation with Belinda, I’m guessing. I glance down to my hand then run my eyes up to his face.
Pulling my hand away, I answer, “Fine.” I swing back around to return to my seat, and that’s when I feel the hold on the back of my top stopping me.
“Ryder,” I grind out, “let me go.”
Yanking my top out of his grasp, I dash back to my seat. He comes walking over to us, and Nettie’s eyes bug out. The whole plane has gone deathly silent.
“What are you doing?” I ask him when he reaches my seat.
“Get up!” He jolts his thumb into the air.
“Oh, fuck no. I’m not doing this with you, Ryder. Go and sit in your seat.” I point my finger back toward the direction he came.
“Nah, I’m doing this now. I told you to leave, and you didn’t. Now…now, I’ll do this song and dance with you.”
I stand from my seat, getting up in his face. I can almost feel the anger seeping from his body.
“Oh? And just what the fuck did you expect me to do Ryder? Get onto my imaginary broom and fly the fuck out of here when you say go?”
His jaw clenches. “Get into the back room, now Phoebe.”
I step closer to him, brushing my chest against his. The heat radiating off him is as hot as a furnace. “Hell no, I’m not going anywhere with you. Screw you.”
Grabbing onto my arm, he directs me toward the bedroom.
Ryker stands, making his way to us. “Ryder, we can sort this out later. You know…once we actually land on the ground.”
I look back up to Ryder, sinking deep into his now dark gray eyes.
“Why the fuck are you so mad?” he asks when I pull my arm out of his grip.
“Mad? Oh no, I’m not mad anymore. Those feelings went down with the bottle of vodka I demolished when you left.”
“I never gave you any promises, Phoebe.”
“That’s right. You didn’t. My bad. I’m so fucking sorry for feeling anything for you over those two weeks. Go away Ryder, I’ll be gone soon enough.”
Gripping onto his h
air, he pulls at it in frustration. “I told you! I fucking told you.” He turns, storming back to his seat.
“You told me a lot of things, Ryder, and they all meant jack shit.”
I spin around, sitting back in my seat, and pulling my headphones out. Closing my eyes, I block out all the eyes which are now watching me. Am I over reacting? I think it was more than the goodbye. You tell a girl she’s different, but then you go and treat her the exact same way you treat your groupies? Yeah, that’s why I’m mad. He can go to hell.
I attempt to control my breathing, keeping my eyes jammed closed, when I open them, I see Nettie looking at me sympathetically. I don’t want her sympathy. I look down to my phone and flick through my playlist. Pushing play on Avenged Sevenfold ‘Lips of Deceit.’ The scream ringing through my ears relaxing me instantly. Once the song finishes, I push replay, needing one more round of this before I even think of communicating with the outside world.
I open my eyes to the same song still ringing in my ears. I must have fallen asleep through my calming ritual. Ripping my headphones out, I huff out in frustration. Nope, calming ritual and sleep did not help my rattled nerves. Nettie’s fast asleep and the outside of the plane is pitch black, the inside silent. I look up to the boys and see Ryder with his head laying back, a hoodie covering over his head with his headphones plugged into his ears. He looks peaceful and relaxed. I take this time to savor his features. Remembering all too well how those plump lips felt running up between my thighs.
Okay, I need to stop any line of thought that involves Ryder and his lips between my thighs.
The shadow running over his jaw showcases his features and I can see some sort of tattoo poking out from behind his neck, sliding over his shoulder blade. He never had that before, it’s obviously new. I wonder what this one means? All his tattoos have deep and meaningful stories. I finally pull my eyes away from him through an exhale of breath.
This is going to be a long tour.
“This is really nice!” Nettie says from beside me. We’ve landed in London and it’s freezing. Snowing, freezing.
“It is nice,” I say, glancing around the ancient looking hotel. It’s old but rich. The mahogany walls and tarnished wood everywhere with deep reds just show that.