He shakes his head, pulling me under his arm, and wrapping his hand around my shoulder. I take a drink as he continues, “He locked himself in the studio for one whole month after we left you. He was quieter than usual and lashing out at everyone over the littlest things. Whether you want to believe it or not, you had an impact on him. I see it now. We all see it. We saw it when you walked your pretty little ass onto our jet. We knew what was coming.”
“And Alyx?” I ask, keeping my eyes locked on the ocean.
He shakes his head and laughs. “She was a business arrangement, nothing more.”
Nodding my head, I rest it on his shoulder. “This is nice out here, it makes me miss home.”
“You love the beach that much?” he asks, kissing my head.
“I love it so much, and the farm life. The serenity of it is calming.”
“I love the city lights, the action,” he says with a smile.
“I’m not surprised,” I reply dryly.
“Hey, get your hands off my woman,” we hear Ryder say, walking down with his beer clutched in his hands and a smile on his face. I laugh, pulling out of Ryker’s grasp. “Hey, you done talking?” He sits on the other side of me, dragging his knees up and pulling me to his side.
“Yeah, Leo is going into rehab. I’ll check him in once we get back. It’ll give us time to have a break too.”
“Good idea,” Ryker approves and I look between the two of them.
“Who’s Becca?”
They look between each other silently.
“Becca was Leo’s wife,” Ryker answers before taking another drink.
“Leo had a wife?” I gasp shocked. He must be no older than twenty-six, surely. Ryder and Ryker would be the eldest at twenty-seven.
Ryder nods his head. “Yeah, he did. They got married at a young age. She always had a problem with needles. We all tried to help her, and at one point, she let us. She’d been around us since we formed the band back in high school. Leo and her were fucking crazy, but madly in love. When she died, a huge part of him died with her, the part that wanted to live. It’s taken time and a lot of persuasion, but he’s finally come to see that he wants to be around and alive. So now I can give that to him by sending him to rehab.”
“Sorry about that. You know…losing someone. You all lost her by the sound of it. Not just Leo.”
Ryder wraps his arm around my neck, pulling me into him. “We did.”
“Thanks for driving us, Rellik,” I say, closing the limo door.
“No problem, Phoebe. Have a good night.” I wave and Ryder pulls me against him as we walk into the lobby nuzzling my neck, which is causing more unwelcome feelings to come to the surface.
“PDA,” Ryker comments from behind us. “I think I liked it better when you weren’t open.”
Ryder and I are in the elevator when I go to push for my floor.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m going to my room?” I answer.
“You’re coming to mine,” he replies.
I shake my head. “Oh, no you don’t. You can sweat it a bit longer.”
He pushes the bright red button on the elevator bringing it to a halt.
“Ryder! I’m claustrophobic. Make it move!”
Shaking his head, he grasps onto my wrists, pinning me up against the wall with his hips.
I’m fucked.
Gasping out, I close my eyes tightly. Fucking traitorous body.
Running his slick tongue across my neck, he whispers, “I’m not doing this anymore. There’s no stopping or holding me back.”
With the alcohol speeding through my blood stream, my heart rate picks up and my pulse hits NOS. Shit. This is not good. Running his hands down over my breasts and down my stomach, he trails further cupping me in his hand. Biting down on my lower lip, I wrap my hands around his neck as his fingers along my bikini bottom, swiping his long, skilled fingers across my cleft and sliding into me. Everything with Ryder and I, and that includes orgasms is always easy. He steps back, chest heaving, eyes hooded with pleasure and hair now messy. Smirking at me, he raises his fingers up to his mouth, tracing his tongue over every bit of the glistening wetness off his fingers.
“I fucking love the taste of you, I could eat this little pussy all day.” His lips now glowing with my arousal.
By all means, get to it.
Smiling at him, he pushes me back up against the wall, bringing his mouth to mine with the taste of me still on his tongue. Moaning into his mouth, he picks me up and wraps my legs around his waist. I pull on his jeans and he chuckles against my lips. Once I’ve succeeded in getting him loose, he slides my bikini to the side and slips into me in one tight squeeze. My walls tense around his thickness like a vacuum of pleasure, he pushes into me again, a hiss escaping his mouth. Latching my lips onto his, I run my tongue across his bottom lip, sucking it into my mouth. He groans a raw growl, gripping onto my ass so hard it’s bound to leave a bruise. With one hand running up my back, he twists my hair into his fist and yanks my head back, giving him full access to my neck, with his cock not missing a beat. Gliding his lips and tongue all over my neck, he pulls my bikini top down, exposing my breasts, sucking one into his mouth he flicks it roughly with his tongue while gliding his teeth over ever so lightly.
“Ryder, oh my God,” I moan out in a distorted moan.
He slows his pace down, unlatching himself from my breast and trailing little kisses up my neck and over my mouth before sliding his needy tongue back into my mouth. Our kiss turns desperate and all I want to do is feel this feeling forever, I’m addicted to this man. My walls clench with the knowledge that any minute, I could drop my orgasm bomb. Griping around his neck again, with sweat dripping from our bodies, and the sound of our sweat drenched skin slapping together in a hungry, needy sound only adding to the erotic atmosphere, a growl escapes his mouth, vibrating against my neck. It was more than enough to push me over the edge. Moaning out, I bite onto his shoulder while my body pulses out its release, his dick twitching, and unloading himself inside me. We stay in the same position, catching our breaths with his head in the crook of my neck. Peeling himself off me, I slid down the wall, my body sticky. He smirks, pulling me into him and kissing my lips softly.
“That was some reunion,” I laugh, shaking my head.
He pulls on his jeans, taking my hand and kissing it. “It always is when it’s with you.” He pushes the red button and the elevator continues its journey. I wish I could say I was disappointed in myself for caving into his charm, but I’m not. There’s no way I’ll apologize for that. The elevator stills and the doors open out, he takes hold of my hand and I follow him as we make our way to his room.
“Ryder, I’m not staying with you. Nettie is sick or something, I need to check to see if she’s okay,” I say to him, but my legs are still following.
He nods his head. “I know. I just want to feed you. We didn’t eat, and then you can go.”
It’s bad enough that I have a slight insecurity about people I care about dying on me, but he left of his own accord and he could do it again. Sleeping with him was a bad move on my part, and I’m beginning to feel the feeling I never would have thought I would feel when it came to sleeping with Ryder—regret. Sliding the card through his door, he opens it wide. The room is stunning. He has a full panoramic view of the entire city. The kitchen sits in the middle and the living room area is circled around the kitchen. It’s breathtaking.
“Wow,” I whisper out.
He pulls on my hand and I enter the room, closing the door behind me.
“What do you feel like?” he asks, walking to the kitchen.
“Thai?” I answer, following him in.
He laughs, opening the fridge. “Thai it is.”
I pull out one of the leather bar stools and take a seat, putting my hair back into a high ponytail. He calls room service, ordering the Thai food then takes a seat on the stool next to mine.
“What’s wrong?” he asks, eyebrows crossed.
Sha
king my head, I look away from his penetrating stare.
His fingers stop my movement, wrapping around my chin, and turning my head back to face him. “Phoebe, tell me what’s wrong and don’t lie to me.”
Breathing out, I cross my arms across my body protectively. “You left me before, you could do it again. I think we need to slow it down a bit.”
His eyes soften, his thumb running across my bottom lip. “I will never leave you again, Phoebe.” I want to believe him when he says that, but the truth is, I don’t.
Smiling, I shake my head. “It doesn’t matter anyway.”
He pulls my hand making me stand from the stool and leading me to the big square shaped sofa. It’s sitting in front of a wall that has a monster television hanging from it.
“Sit,” he points to the sofa and I sit beside him. Running his hands over his hair, he closes his eyes briefly, making frustration look hot.
“The tabloids are right,” he states, looking out in front of him lost in thought.
“What? That you’re gay?” I tease with a smirk. His eye twitches, his body stilling before bringing his attention back to me. In one swift movement, he pushes his body down on top of mine, caging my head in between his ripped arms, spreading my legs open with his and climbing in between before grinding his hips into me, pushing his thickness onto my clit. Fighting a moan, my eyes close, my teeth snapping down on my bottom lip.
Running his nose down my temple, his breath hits my ear and he mumbles in a soft, low, but slightly pissed off tone, “Does this…” he guides his dick slowly but roughly up and down my slit, the friction setting off desire right in between my legs, “…feel like I’m gay to you?” I gulp down, my face heating with a bright red blush sprawling out across my cheeks.
“Nope. Not at all. Not even slightly,” I say with complete seriousness.
I’m about to rape this man if he doesn’t get off me right now. Smirking, he gets off me, sitting back into the same position he was in before. He leans back onto the sofa and I follow, sweeping my legs underneath me, leaning my head on his arm.
“I’ve never been pictured with a woman because I haven’t had a girlfriend. Not since we became—” He gestures around the room.
“Huge? Famous?” I answer for him.
He gives me a small smile in approval. “Anyway. The girls I see? They’re a little different to the everyday woman.” My eyebrows cross in confusion.
“What does that mean?” I ask, searching his face for a clue.
“It means, what did you think the first time I was at your brother’s bar?”
“Well,” I say as I tighten my hair tie in my hair, “I know you had a threesome with him and Vicky, and I’ve had sex with you…many times. So I’m guessing, you’re a kinky son of a bitch.” His body stills and he looks to me in shock.
“You know about that?” he asks almost horrified. The look is cute on him and I decide I want to see that look more often.
Rolling my eyes, I answer, “Of course, I know. I found out a couple months ago when Kalie blurted it out.”
“Who’s Kalie?”
“She’s Ade’s Old Lady and Vicky’s childhood best friend.”
“So all you girls are like…a pack,” he states with another semi-horrified chuckle.
I nod my head casually. “A pack of wolves. Yes.”
He laughs, shaking his head. “I don’t doubt that. In regards to the ‘threesome’, it was hardly a threesome. More a twosome where we shared her, we both stayed well away from each other, as you would expect.”
Okay, I’m drawing a line, the line has been drawn, and if he doesn’t tread carefully, I’ll slap him.
“That sounds…gross. Can we not go there…ever? Please?” I plead with him.
Nodding his head, he wraps his arm around my shoulders. “It meant nothing, just know that. But that wasn’t the first time something like that has happened. I’ve known Blake for years, since before he opened Sinsation.”
“Do I want to know how you knew each other before then?” I ask with a flat tone. My damn brother and his whorish ways.
His lips curve under his teeth before shaking his head. “Probably not. But I’m going to tell you anyway because I need you to see it from my light.”
Here we go…
“One night, I was in a bar in New Orleans. Becca had just died and I was a bit of a mess. The whole band lost it, and we all sort of went our separate ways for a while there. So I ended up in New Orleans with a shit load of cash, cocaine, and whiskey. I meet a woman who was a lot older than I was, which at the time I was twenty-four. She was hot, smoking hot, all seductive and experienced looking, chasing a good time. I pulled her onto the dancefloor, we snorted some, drank heaps, and she told me about a secret event that happens at another bar. I shrugged and said, “Fuck it.” We arrived at this secret event and she led me up the stairs. I’m pretty sure she knew exactly who I was, but I didn’t care, I was reckless and wanted anything to numb the pain of losing Becca. The event was a swinger’s bar that was undercover. There were around seven couples in this huge neon bar. I was down for it as long as the men stayed away. One of the couples that were there was Blake and Corrin.”
Jesus, why does this not surprise me?
“Anyway, after a whole lot of messing around, the older woman pulled a gun on me and demanded money. I laughed at her in my daze, I didn’t even think too much into it. She didn’t find it funny, demanding again that she wanted me to wire a large sum of cash through to her. I looked around the room and there were few people there were obviously standing with her. I flipped her off and she went to pull the trigger, all I heard was a bang shoot out and I thought I was dead. I couldn’t see anything, that was until I realized it was because my eyes were closed. It was Blake. He shot her dead. The cops came, but Blake told me to leave, saying if anyone found out it was because of me, there would be all sorts of lawsuits and the media would eat me alive. So I left, went back to Hollywood and decided to pull my shit together along with my band. The next time I saw Blake, he told me he was opening Sinsation and I was all over it. I owe him a lot.”
My first thought is, this does not surprise me, Blake is ruthless. If it came down to it, he’d kill anyone he deemed fit to die. He thinks he’s God sometimes. And my other thought is how the hell Blake found time for extracurricular bedroom activities.
“Well…” I say, wrapping my arms around myself. Unlatching my arms, he pulls me into him more.
“Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” I ask, head tilted.
“Wrap your arms around yourself protectively. You don’t need to feel like that around me. I will never hurt you.”
Words are cheap. I have serious issues that need dealing with if I can’t trust what he says, but every time he says something or does something to show me otherwise, I feel that feeling slip and I begin to believe him.
“I’m telling you because I want you to understand why I might fuck this up sometimes,” he says into my hair.
“You can fuck up, Ryder, but don’t ever cut me out without talking to me first.”
He nods his head. “Okay, I promise.”
“I can’t say I’m surprised about Blake, though.” I roll my eyes and he chuckles.
“Yeah, I guess you’d be sort of used to all that.”
Hold up. Say what?
“What do you mean?” I ask, pulling my head away from him.
“I mean, all the ruthlessness of it.”
“Yeah, I am. But I’m not like my brother and his friends, Ryder. I feel loss every time they take someone out and I find out about it. Regardless whether that person was a shitty person, they still had people that loved them. And if not? Then that’s just sad, but it’s still a human life. I don’t think I will ever get used to it. I keep it all locked inside my head and it will never come out. In saying that, though, I have never witnessed it. All my life everything has been sheltered away from me.”
He squeezes me as the doorbell goes of
f. “I love that about you, Phoebe.” He gets up off the sofa and walks to the door. I swallow down the lump I feel forming in my throat from the information he just shared with me. I don’t really give a shit about the woman who threw one up on Ryder, sneaky bitch. It’s just my brother I worry about. He has to sleep at night, and I know he doesn’t care right now, but one day, I know it will catch up with him and the guilt will consume him—all of them. I’ll be there, though, picking up the pieces of them until the day I die.
Ryder walks in with two boxes of Thai food and two beers. I smile a broad smile and he laughs. “You still love Thai that bad, huh?”
I nod my head like a small child. “Always, don’t mess with that.”
He chuckles again, setting the food down on the coffee table. Taking a seat on the floor, he sits next to me, popping open our beers and handing one to me.
“Thanks.” I smile at him.
He opens one of the boxes, handing it to me. I stayed for an hour, talking about the band and the songs they have been working on with Alyx. It turns out Alyx just sings the backup chorus for the two songs they have done with her. Ryder didn’t want any of her shit mixed with theirs, but she sings a couple of her own songs in between time slots during the show too.
Makes sense.
Now I’m tossing and turning in bed. Today’s been a whirlwind of events, and I’m not sure how to swallow them all. I want to give whatever it is that Ryder and I have going on a go. I’d always be wondering what if, if I didn’t. I guess I just need to take control of my feelings and not let them run haywire like I did last time.
Well, that’s easier said than done.
“Phoebe?” Nettie whispers from her bed. I turn my body around to face and she does the same, propping her face onto her hand. It’s dark, but because my eyes have adapted and her bed faces the window, the light from the moon shines in enough for me to see her expressions.
“I know we’ve only known each other for a short time, but you mean a lot to me.”
I smile at her. “The feeling is mutual, Nettie. Are you okay? Has something happened?”