****
I watched Lucian attempt to fit in with his own family from my spot way off yonder of the crowd. Farthest table from the pool.
My heart ached for him but every time I tried to be what I knew he needed, those words he'd said to that bitch in the store would stab me and send me running inside myself. Guard. Guard. Guard. The mantra was screaming now after all he'd done. And God. Why?
The answer to that made me sick because deep down, I knew. I'd hurt him beyond repair and he was lashing out subconsciously. Rejected him too many times when he'd handed me his heart so readily and easily and completely. How was I supposed to know he meant it? What moron did that? More specifically, what man? No, more specifically, what man at a competition to be a top Dom did that?
Go all my life with no luck or the worst luck and then you get good luck once and you throw it away. Would it be so bad to just… forgive him? I was pretty sure I could. In fact, I was waiting for a sext. Praying for one. At least during that I could be what he needed and I didn't have to forgive. It was like having my cake and eating it to. I realized what that meant. I wanted to not care that he'd done those things. What did that say about me? About my self-esteem? I couldn't live without him no matter how he treated me?
Jesus, I was headed into bad waters with this. And still I could feel it. The urge to throw all that caution to the wind and pretend he'd never done it, pretend the only thing that was true was what we shared when we made love. It certainly far surpassed the bad. Until I thought about the bad, that is. But I was willing to try to not think about it.
His sisters finally made it there. Finally, normal people. I really liked his older sister, Hanna, with the two kids. And her husband seemed really caring. The younger sister, Jennifer, was a bit overweight and with an older guy who Lucian clearly didn't like. I couldn't blame him. He sort of treated her like a slave. And the way she was so eager to do whatever he said was kind of sad. Mostly because he seemed to not appreciate it. Expected it. I didn't like him because he dipped. Gross.
I checked my phone for the tenth time to see if I'd missed a text. Lucian said maybe that whore-of-Lucifers-nanny was behind our troubles. I better not find out that was true.
Once the party was in full swing, I kept noticing Lucian constantly trying to make his way to me only to get called off by a family member he couldn't ignore. It was agonizing to watch. I'd smile at him whenever he looked my way to reassure him. It didn't make his day but it lessened the tension lines around his sexy mouth. I just wanted to kiss him and we could both forget for thirty minutes.
But that bastard father and brother of his. Wow. What slime. How could they treat their own family like that? If I had a brother or sister, God, I'd cherish them so bad. But then maybe I wouldn't, maybe I'd be anal like they are. And I hated to say it but, as sweet as his mother was, she was just ridiculous. Playing pretend queen to that Hitler when she was really just a slave, a possession. Wanting people to worship him. Fucking insane. And to think that was listed as some acceptable kink? Made my Missouri blood boil.
I realized Lucian had disappeared and I looked all around for him. My phone vibrated and I nearly jumped out of my skin, dropping the damn thing on the ground. I picked it up and hurried to read the text. Confusion hit me. Flirt with Lucian's brother. Don't speak of the assignment until after the domination.
Oh fuck beans, really? As if on cue, here came Jedadiah Jock, swaggering toward me with a drink in his hand. Clearly not his first. He didn't seem to mind hitting on Lucian's true love—dumb bitch—or any other available female. Which…now that I considered it, there was only me.
"Hey baby, why aren't you out there having fun?"
"I'm allergic to it." I looked around for Lucian again and still didn't see him.
He laughed. "To fun?"
"Pretty much." Shit, what was flirting, anyway?
He pulled up a chair and scooted it close to mine, sat so that our knees nearly touched then leaned forward on his forearms. "Maybe you've never had real fun." His alcoholic words nearly burned my eyes.
I resisted the need to wave my hand before me to clear the air, remembering the stupid assignment. "Uh. Maybe not. Right."
He stroked my knee with his finger and I resisted the need to slap it away. "Wanna go for a swim with me?"
"I…don't have a suit."
"My sister has one."
"I don't swim."
"What do you do?"
"Do puzzles. Read obituaries, mostly. Tell people how to live their lives."
"Is that right?" he drawled. "I wouldn't mind telling you how to suck my cock."
I swallowed, lowering my gaze. How long was I supposed to endure this? Was it even flirting? Talking to him wasn't exactly flirting, was it?
"Gather around, it's time to sing happy birthday."
I jumped up at the father's call and finally found Lucian. Talking to the love of his life. The sight punched me in the stomach.
"Looks like your boyfriend is re-bonding with his true love." The sarcastic drawl next to my ear made me nauseous.
"I insist on doing the honors Mildreth," Steve said, "If it's okay with your husband of course?"
"Fine, sing away little birdie." The man insulted everybody.
I hurried over and Jared caught up, linking his arm in mine. "I better escort you, little lady. Wouldn't want you getting hurt along the way."
I found Lucian's glare aimed at me. Finally. My heart raced at the black fury in his face. He leaned in to his whore friend and kissed her on the cheek just as Steve began to sing Happy Birthday.
Jared swung me into his arms and danced me like a puppet as he sang the song too.
I struggled to get out of his hold but he held too tight. God was he going to make me cause a scene? I allowed him to dance me for his mother's sake, no harm in that.
He put his hand on my ass at the last happy birthday and I turned to see Lucian there. "Let her fucking go."
Jared laughed obnoxiously. "Go back to the love of your life, bro, I'm busy."
"Let her go!" Lucian yelled in his face.
Jared shoved me away and Lucian decked him immediately after. His brother staggered then toppled to the ground after tripping over a plant.
"Lucian!" his mother screamed. "You stop that."
"You want some?" Jared wiped at the blood on his lip as he staggered back up. "I been wanting to give it to you, you little pussy."
Lucian stood there, his face a mask of unspeakable contempt and fury.
"Leave my son alone, Lucian," his father boomed.
Lucian looked at him. "Tell your fucking son to not touch her and I will."
His father sneered. "You don't mean to tell me you're going to let a cheap hussy come between family. You never was one to have much respect for family, but you best be behaving regardless at your mother's party."
Chapter Fourteen
I fought to breathe through my rage as I stared at my mother's crimped face.
"Lucian, please," she begged. "Let it go sweetheart. It's not worth it."
Not worth it. I finally realized what that meant. It all hit me rather suddenly. It's not worth it. Interpret: I wasn't worth it. All these years, that's what she was trying to tell me. All her defense wasn't for me, it was for her, for them. Not me. "It's not worth it?" I shook my head, floored at the shocking revelation. "Don't you mean I'm not worth it, mom?"
"Don't you take that tone with my wife!" dad bellowed, stepping forward while Jared staggered nearby, readying an attack.
"She's my mother! And you are a fucking pig to her! And she…" I gasped, staring at her, seeing the ugly truth I never wanted to admit. "She lets you." I shook my head, devastated by it. "All these years… You let him, right? Shhhhh. Don't tell? It'll be okay? You'll see? But it was never fucking okay mom."
"Don't blame others for your sins, boy!" dad yelled. "Guilt eatin' your core? For all the sins you've committed against this family? Your whorings catch up to you? Ever since you were three years
old I saw it. In those rebellious eyes of yours." He pointed at me. "You're no son of mine."
"Daddy, stop," my youngest sister, Jennifer, cried. "He's our brother."
"You stay out of this."
"No! No, I won't stay out of this. You have never given Lucian a chance. All he's ever done is protect me. He was the best big brother I know."
"Protect you?"
"Stop it!" she screamed. "You hurt him enough for that. He was only ten! He was just a kid daddy. He was so so sorry! He paid for his sins! We all did. And we shouldn't have."
"But you didn't pay, did you, dad?" I said. "You just get to ruin everybody, break everybody and go on being king. Look at mom. Don't you see what you've done to her? You don't cherish her. You don't love her, adore her! Look at that punk Jennifer is with. Notice a resemblance dad? He's a fucking prick like you. Bossing her around, treating her like a possession rather than a fucking—treasure!" I yelled. "Because you showed her what kind of man to look for, didn't you dad!"
His face nearly turned purple with rage as he walked toward me. She came out of the corner of my eye, like an angel, stepping between me and him, holding her hand toward him. "Don't you put your hand on him."
He stopped short and sneered at her and I braced to kill him. I'd just go to prison, that was all. Rabid animals could only be put down, not fixed.
"You should move out of my way before you get hurt."
"You're not laying a hand on him!" her voice trembled and broke. "What is wrong with you? How can you not see how good this man is! Do you know what he's done for me?"
"I don't—"
"Listen!" she screamed at him. "You listen to me," she sobbed. "This man is a fucking angel. He rescued me. From my own hell. All of this he is doing today is for me. Because he's selfless. He is beautiful. He is goddamn perfect." She stepped closer to him and I tensed. "And you will not hurt him anymore. Not one of you. Because I am his protector. His rear guard. I am his."
My father's hand shot out and latched to her throat. He lifted her off the ground and everybody screamed.
"I'll crush her throat boy if you lay one finger on me."
Tara held his hands, remaining still in the air.
"Please dad," I said. "Let her go. You want to hurt me? Here I am. Not her."
"You piece of shit, bringing this whore here. I should have shot you on the lawn like I wanted. But you goddamn mother always has to whine for her way, for her little pussy son that ain't even mine, no goddamn way you are."
"You're right. I'm not yours. Just let her go. And we're leaving."
"Damn fucking right you're leaving." He set her down and the second her feet touched, her legs flew up and my dad came forward hard onto the ground.
I jumped back as Tara worked him into one of her famous formidable holds then I turned and nailed my brother when he attempted to go for her.
I looked around and grabbed the heavy glass ashtray off the table to lay my brother out with if he got up again while my father roared in pain.
"You choke women, Mr. Bane? Is that what you do? Is that what you learned in your church? Your military?" she gasped. "Look at you now, tough guy."
"Don't fucking taunt him, Tara."
"I hope you know I'm gonna kill you," he strained before yelling out in agony.
"What you're going to do is apologize to Lucian. My fuck partner, my lover, my protector. And my best friend. Right now."
He howled in agony as she put more pressure on his arm, his cry strangling from her elbow in his throat.
She looked at me. "You want me to break something? Just tell me, I can snap it."
I stared at her feeling like I'd time warped into another strange dimension and she was asking what I wanted on my burger. I felt my head shake.
"You sure?" she cried, not happy. "It'll heal. I think it would be good for him to have a woman break him. Don't you think? It might actually help change him."
"You are one dead—aaaaaaagh" my father yelled, followed by whimpers.
"That did not sound like an apology, sir. Did you not learn how to submit to authority in the service Bane? Didn't you learn that in boot camp?"
"Tara let's leave," I reached toward her. If my father managed to get free, people would die because I couldn't let her get hurt and he would make me kill him.
"Get my goddamn gun Jared."
I turned and found him staggering up. "Stay down," I yelled at him, "or I swear to God I'll put you down."
He sat there unmoving, a look of uncertainty and confusion in his eyes. That was new.
"One more chance Bane. Tell Lucian you're sorry." She ended with a yank and his sorry ripped out with his scream of agony.
"Sorrrrrrry, sorry," he cried.
"For being a bad father," she said.
"For being a bad father," he gasped, his words trembling out.
"For hurting Lucian."
"For hurting Lucian."
"For being an ass."
"For…aaaaaagh for being an ass!"
Tara looked at me and I saw it in her eyes. The loathing of all those years I'd suffered. Like she tasted it and it disgusted her. "This is all for you baby," she said to me. Then she flipped and there was a loud crack followed by agonized howling and cries from all the shocked spectators.
Tara got up and staggered to me, her hair disheveled. "That last one was for me. Bastard bruised my trachea."
I grabbed Tara's hand and hurried to the front of the house, feeling the heat of hell barreling down on us. Steve was right behind us, then ahead, running to open the car like we'd just robbed a bank.
He hopped in and we followed and he tore out of the driveway. We passed several cop cars with blaring lights a half a mile away. Fuck, what did this mean?
"Oh my God, my phone!" Tara cried. "I left it."
I thought about all the texts on there and panicked. "Shit, turn around."
"You both may get arrested for assault."
"I don't care," Tara said, "If they get a hold of that phone, they'll know."
"Let me make a phone call." Steve dialed into the office and told the story then sighed. "We'll get it."
He turned the car back around and an ambulance over took us. Jesus. Now we had to go back in that shit.
When we got there, one of the police approached our car. "Officer, we left the scene because we feared for our lives." He looked in the back at us. "I was hired to chaperone Miss Tara, here, and while here an altercation broke out and put her in danger. She was attacked and she defended herself."
He looked at her and me. "Stay in the car a minute." He walked a few paces and got on his phone, talking with his back to us. He returned. "Step out of the car please. All of you. And put your hands on the front."
We got out and did as he said. "I left my phone, I need it to reach my grandmother, she calls me on that."
He half grinned at her. "You the one that assaulted Mr. Bane, I take it."
"I just fractured his arm a little and that was just to incapacitate him because he threatened to kill me when I let him go. He'd strangled me ten seconds prior."
"I can attest to that. as can all of the spectators sir," Steve said. "I've chaperoned for the president, I have impeccable credent—"
"How about you just be quiet for a minute while we sort this out. I need to know anything, I know who to ask."
"Yes sir, absolutely sir."
A stretcher made its way toward the ambulance parked in the front with my father on it. Pride suddenly welled in me at what she'd done to that fuck. My little sweet princess. I fought down a grin, realizing it wouldn't exactly look innocent.
Another police officer walked over and handed a phone over to Tara who took it and shoved it in her… bra? Okay.
"Okay, you guys can be at ease," the new officer said.
We all turned and faced the two cops. The newest one was huge and seemed to try to hide a humored grin. "There will be no charges pressed. Witnesses say he attacked this young lady and she defended herself." br />
I let out a sigh of relief.
"If we can keep this out of the newspaper, we'll be doing great." He raised his brows and looked down. "You're free to go."
"All of our belongings are still within the residence," Steve said. "Can we have escort to retrieve them? There's another male suspect in there that is a threat."
"My brother," I said.
"Let's go," the first officer said. Steve followed at a curt pace, his Georgian accent singing to the man of his service to the president as a chaperone.
"You okay, little lady?" the tall officer asked.
Tara rubbed her neck. "I'm fine."
He chuckled and shook his head. "We could use female instructors at our station if you're ever interested. Anybody who goes up against Mr. Bane has the kind of balls we're looking for." He grinned. "Rhetorically."
She gave a single ha. "Obviously. And no. I think young Mr. Bane here may require my body guard services yet. But I appreciate the offer."
He laughed and I put my arm around her and kissed her cheek, smiling. "She's not really my body guard. She's actually my best friend."
I kissed Tara on her lips softly and looked up at hearing the soft voice of my mother. Regret hit me at all I'd said. Fuck. "Come with me to say goodbye."
"Keep it light and quick and where I can see you," the officer said.
We went to my mother and two sisters standing near the ambulance in tears. As we approached, Jennifer ran me over with a bear hug. "I'm sorry Looshy," she cried. "I hate when they're mean to you, you know I do."
"Hey, you stood up for me back there. That was so brave, I'm proud of you."
She gasped again. "Thank you. And your girlfriend, oh my God!"
"She's not one to anger."
She released me and hugged Tara next. "You keep Looshy safe for me? You were amazing." She laughed a little.
"Eh, he's a big boy really. He's done the same for me."
"I'm inspired. Truly," my little sister whispered.
"Good," I said. "Make sure you do the same thing for yourself. Don't let a man walk on you like dad does to mom, do you hear me? It's wrong. Don't let him do that to you, Jenny . Promise me." I looked at my mother, who nodded with tears streaming.