“I do.”
“Are you mad I didn’t tell you?”
“No.” Ethan leaned in and kissed her.
“You must’ve really liked me to pull that rent stunt,” Rose said with a mischievous smile. “How much did you lose?”
“I do a little more than like you. And I didn’t lose anything. I gained you. Rose…” Ethan paused. He almost never used her first name, and it gave Rose goose bumps all over. “I love you.”
Rose’s heart skipped a beat. “I love you, too,” she replied, one hundred percent sure of her feelings.
Tyler was forgotten. The man standing next to her consumed everything in Rose’s world. Ethan, the man Rose loved and who loved her back. He kissed her and Rose sighed, forgetting everything, even her name.
Twenty-four
Rose
“Tyler?” Rose said into her phone. She’d heard nothing from him since the wedding two months back, and now he was calling her out of the blue.
“I-I need to talk to you.” Tyler sounded agitated. “Can you meet me?”
“Right now?”
“Yeah, right now.”
Rose looked at her watch. In forty-five minutes, she had a meeting for a group project that was due in less than a week. “I have a group meeting in forty-five minutes, but we can meet on campus and talk there before I head to the library to meet the others.”
“Rose, to hell with classes and finals and group projects!” There was a hint of desperation in his words. “I need to talk to you, and it’s going to take a lot longer than forty-five minutes.”
“Tyler, did something happen? What is it?”
“Not over the phone. I’ll pick you up at your house in fifteen.”
The line went dead. Tyler had hung up without leaving her room to reply.
Exactly fifteen minutes later, her doorbell rang. Rose picked up her bag and hurried to meet Tyler downstairs at his car.
“Hey,” she greeted him, opening the passenger door and climbing in. “What’s up?”
Tyler turned toward her, and Rose gasped. With his ghastly pale skin, bloodshot eyes, disheveled hair, and dark, five-o’clock shadow, her best friend looked a mess. Thinner than she’d ever seen him, and ten years older.
“Tyler, what’s going on?” Rose asked, alarmed.
“Later.” He put the car into gear and started driving, gripping the wheel so tightly his knuckles turned stark white.
After ten minutes of driving in silence with no radio and no talking, Rose began to feel uneasy. She had no idea where they were going. They might be heading north, but that was the extent of Rose’s sense of orientation.
“Tyler, can you at least give me a hint here?”
He shook his head. “I can’t talk about it in the car… I can’t…”
“Can I at least ask where we’re going?”
“Salem.”
Salem? Was this a witch-hunt? But when they kept going on I-93 North instead of turning onto I-95, Rose realized they were going to Salem, New Hampshire, not Salem, Massachusetts. The “why” remained a mystery. She kept quiet for the rest of the ride until they stopped in the parking lot of what looked like an amusement park.
Why would Tyler want to drive forty-five minutes on a random Saturday to go to an amusement park? And on a day like this? At the end of April, the weather was still chilly and windy, and the park looked like a ghost town. Rose had so many questions she wanted to ask him, but once again, she didn’t. Certain he wouldn’t answer anyway, she decided to wait, even if Tyler looked more wretched with every passing minute.
She followed him to the ticket booth where he bought two daily passes. Tyler took a free map of the park and started walking down a paved path. Rose walked behind him, a million scenarios playing in her head. Was this about them, their friendship? Their love quadrangle? They hadn’t talked properly after the wedding. When they bumped into each other on campus, there were always other people around to provide a buffer. The unspoken arrangement had suited both of them. Somehow, though, Rose knew this mysterious trip was about something else. Tensions lingered between them, but nothing strong enough to turn Tyler into the mess he appeared to be right now.
Rose was so absorbed in her thoughts, she didn’t see Tyler stop, and when he did, she bumped into his back.
“We’re here,” he said.
Rose followed his gaze upwards and saw they’d stopped in front of a Ferris wheel. Her heart jumped in her throat. So it was something bad, really bad. Ferris wheels were their special place. The most important turning points of their life and friendship had been discussed while on a wheel ride. Mostly the one back at home, the Texas Star, but others worked in a pinch, too.
Rose thought back to some of the things they’d said and done inside a Ferris car. They’d promised each other they would be friends forever, piercing their index fingers with a needle and mixing their blood to seal the pact.
When they were twelve, they’d shared their first kiss—just because they’d decided they should practice the technique together before they did it for real with someone else. At least, that had been Rose’s excuse. She’d wanted Tyler to be the first boy she kissed. It had also been on a Ferris wheel that Tyler had told Rose about losing his virginity. Years later, Rose had done the same.
On one dreadful ride, they’d tried their first beer out of a flask Tyler had stolen from his dad and hidden under his football jacket. The beer had been warm and disgusting, and Rose had ended up getting sick, earning them one of the harshest groundings in their teenage history.
They’d opened their Harvard admission letters together in a car much like the ones currently rotating high above her. After high school, they’d gone less often, but Rose had cried over Marcus for the first time while on a ride. They’d kept the tradition of going at least once whenever they were at home in Dallas.
Everything important had been said on a Ferris wheel, and now here they were in front of one. Tyler had something so big to tell her that it called for a wheel ride. What was it?
A cold shiver crawled up Rose’s spine. She was scared.
“I know it’s no Texas Star,” Tyler said with a forced smile, “but it was the best I could find up here.”
There was no line, and as they entered the first available car, an eerie silence lingered between them. As soon as the ride started, Tyler dropped his head into his hands, and Rose realized with horror that he was crying. She’d never seen Tyler cry. Never. Rose wanted to comfort him, but she didn’t understand why he needed comforting. Asking didn’t seem like an option, so she just sat beside him in sympathetic silence.
After the wheel did a full circle, the attendant on the ground moved forward as if to help them dismount, but Rose signaled they were taking another ride. The park was empty. No one was in line, and after their second go-round, the attendant left them alone and kept the ride spinning.
Cold air blew on them, especially when they passed the upper part of the wheel. Still, Rose buttoned her jacket to the neck and waited patiently for Tyler to be ready to talk, ignoring both the wind and the cold.
“My life is over,” Tyler said once they reached the top for the third time. “I feel so sick I want to throw up.”
“You’re ill?” Rose’s voice cracked.
Tyler shook his head.
“Tyler, what is it? Tell me.” Rose felt ready to explode from anxiety.
“She… she’s…” Tyler shook his head again. “She trapped me.”
“Who? Who trapped you? What do you mean?”
“Georgiana.”
Another chill raced down Rose’s spine. “What did she do this time?” There were no more semesters abroad to force on him. “Is it school again?”
“No.” Tyler kept shaking his head in his hands. “I’m done. No way out.”
“Tyler, what did she do?” Rose whispered.
“She lied. S-she tricked me. She did it on purpose. She says she didn’t, but I
know she did.”
“What? What did she do?”
Tyler let out a desperate cry. “She’s pregnant.”
Twenty-five
Rose
After his confession, Tyler cracked and collapsed into Rose’s arms, crying like a baby. Rose hugged him close to her chest, whispering soothing words, all the while boiling inside with rage. Tyler was one hundred percent right. Georgiana had done it on purpose. Probably telling Tyler some lame excuse about the pill not always working or some other false crap. Rose didn’t need to hear the details. When her phone started vibrating in her bag, she shifted in the booth to turn it off without looking at the caller ID.
“Pick up if you need to,” Tyler half-sobbed.
“No. Whatever it is can wait.” Rose let Tyler have a few more minutes. When he seemed a little calmer, she asked, “Have you… mmm… discussed options?”
“There’s nothing to discuss. Georgiana says she wants to keep the baby.”
Well, of course, after all the trouble the bitch went through to engineer the pregnancy in the first place. Rose felt homicidal. “And what do you want?”
“It doesn’t matter what I want, I can’t have it.” Tyler sighed. “Rose, I want my life back. I want you back. But, most of all, I want our friendship back!”
“Tyler, I’m here, and we’re friends. No matter what happens, we’ll always be friends. I’m so sorry Georgiana did this to you, but we’ll get through this pregnancy like everything else. What are you going to do?”
“No clue.” Tyler shook his head. “What can I do?”
“Well, Georgiana didn’t leave you much choice…”
“She didn’t leave me any choice. Even if she was open to discussing options, you know my views on abortion, and she knows them, too.”
“How come?”
“She knows I’m adopted and against abortion, as I wouldn’t be here if my biological mom had one.”
“You told her you’re adopted?” Rose was shocked; Tyler never told anyone.
“Yeah.”
“When?”
“Ages ago. I don’t remember when. The topic just came up somehow…”
“Oh, Tyler, look at me, please.”
“What?”
“You’ll be an amazing father for this baby, no matter what.”
“Rose, please. I’m the most irresponsible person in the world. I can’t take care of myself. How will I care for a helpless child?”
“That’s crap and you know it. Tyler, you’re a good guy, and you’ll be a great dad.”
“Stop saying that word. I want to throw up.”
“And who said morning sickness was just for the girls?” Rose attempted a joke.
Tyler looked grim. “I’m going to be someone’s father.”
“It appears so.”
Tyler and Rose sat in silence for another half-turn of the wheel, both staring at the view, lost in thought. Until Rose finally spoke. “I feel a bit guilty about this whole situation.”
“Guilty, you? Why would you feel guilty?”
“Do you think Georgiana would’ve gone to these extremes if I hadn’t moved in with you? It made her go cuckoo jealous.”
“I don’t care if Georgiana was jealous—she didn’t have the right to do this to me. When she told me…” Tyler growled. “All I can say for myself is that I didn’t strangle her—and not because I didn’t want to.”
“Ethan says she’s obsessed with you—”
“Don’t bring him into this discussion,” Tyler hissed. “I don’t want to remember he even exists right now. And please don’t tell me again I should’ve dumped Georgiana a long time ago. I don’t need an ‘I told you so’ speech. I’m already aware of the mistakes I’ve made. Don’t you think I regret every day not leaving Georgiana right after we… Anyway, I think about it every day. If I had, we’d be together now, and you wouldn’t be dating the devil’s brother, and I wouldn’t be having a baby with the devil!”
“Don’t go there. This is not your fault.”
“But it is, Rose, it’s all my fault. If I hadn’t been so damn scared, right now we’d be happy together. I’ve been an idiot, Rose. I wanted to be with you so bad, but I was scared because I knew with you, it would’ve been the real deal. And so I did what I do best: I ran. I ruined everything. Georgiana got all scheme-y because I left her suspicions room to grow. I shouldn’t have stayed with her, I shouldn’t have gone to France, and I should’ve used a condom even if Georgiana swore she was on the pill. I mean, how many idiots have been in my position before?”
“Listen—I’m not condoning what Georgiana did because it’s so wrong on so many levels. But it shows you how much she cares about you…”
Tyler snorted.
“In her own perverse way, I think Georgiana really loves you. Look at all she’s done to be with you. And it’s not like she’s after money or anything.” In the past, Rose had suspected more than a few of Tyler’s girlfriends of finding his wallet more attractive than the person. Georgiana wasn’t one of them. “The Smithsons are well off, so all Georgiana has to gain from this mess is you, and I’m not saying you should forgive her—”
“Are you sure? Because that sounded a lot as if you were making excuses for her.”
“No, there’s no excuse for her behavior. But I am stating a fact: Georgiana loves you. A lot.”
“Love?” Tyler scoffed bitterly. “You don’t trap the people you love.”
“True. Let’s say her love leans a little toward the selfish side—okay, a lot toward the selfish side—but you can’t deny it’s there. What about you? How do you feel about her?”
“I hate her, Rose. I hate her.” Tyler stared ahead at empty space. “Don’t even make me think about her…”
“Tyler…”
“I don’t like that tone.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“I have a feeling you’re going to ask anyway.”
“How did you feel about Georgiana—I mean, really—before all this happened? Before… me?” Rose gripped the security metal bar. “Were you in love with her? Because if I have to be completely honest with you, she used to scare me more than any of your other girlfriends. And that’s why maybe… er…”
Tyler turned toward her with a confused frown. “What are you saying, Rose?”
“I’m saying that before I messed things up, you seemed really happy with Georgiana. I’m saying that partially—subconsciously—things may have happened between us when they did because I felt threatened by Georgiana. Yeah, I was sad about Marcus, but I was also jealous of you and Georgiana.” Rose released a breath. “Oh, Tyler. I’ve been selfish and stupid and petty. I couldn’t stand her, and I was scared she would take you away from me for good. That’s part of the reason we—I mean… did… you know… when we did.”
“If you felt that way, why did you turn me down when I came home begging to be with you?”
“When you moved to France I had time to clear my head. I know I love you, and I thought I was in love with you for most of my life… but then all that shit happened, and you moved to Paris, and then… I met Ethan, and…”
“Please don’t tell me how much you’re in love with him because I couldn’t stand to hear it right now.”
“That’s not… My point is this: I idealized you for more than a decade, and you probably did the same with me. In my head, I’d always pictured us ending up married after you straightened up a bit and had seen enough women naked to be good for life…”
“Yeah, I had that same idea. But what’s your point?”
“My point is that maybe this fantasy we’ve both been having was just that—a fantasy. What I’m saying is, in all the years I’ve known you, I’ve never seen you as emotionally involved as you were with Georgiana. I mean, before I spoiled everything by jumping into bed with you because I wanted to ruin your relationship. Because if I’m being honest, that’s what I wanted. I couldn’t stand that yo
u hadn’t cheated on her. I couldn’t stand that you were no longer making a go at me, so I had to go ahead and screw your love life.”
Tyler smirked. “Quite literally.”
Rose blushed but smiled. This was the first glimmer that made her recognize the Tyler she loved under the broken man, under all his sadness and worries. If Tyler could make jokes on a day like this, there was still hope.
“To be honest,” Rose continued. “I’ve been the worst friend—person, even. Worse than Julia Roberts in My Best Friend’s Wedding. I am the fungus growing on pond scum.”
“No, you’re just the scum,” Tyler said with the tiniest hint of a smile. “We both are. But Georgiana… she’s the fungus feeding on scum.”
“She’s a bit of a fungus or the mucus of the fungus… But the fact remains that despite everything—despite me, and France—you didn’t break up with her. It has to mean something.”
“I came to that stupid wedding only because I wanted to see you.”
“Okay, but you had a million other opportunities to dump her, and you never did.”
“I’ve already told you, I’m aware of all the mistakes I’ve made. I don’t need you to rub my face in them.”
“What if it wasn’t a mistake? You’ve never been faithful to someone for as long as Georgiana. Before I ruined everything, I mean. Not even with Jessica. So, are you sure you can’t find that love again, that there’s no way you could ever forgive Georgiana and be happy with her? Even if she’s a bit… mmm—”
“Of a conniving bitch?”
“I was going to say pushy. I know you’re mad right now—”
“Mad doesn’t begin to cover it.”
“Okay, but the only choice you can make right now is how to fit into this baby’s life.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning: are you going to be a single dad, or are you and Georgiana going to be a family?”
Twenty-six
Ethan
Ethan had been pacing up and down Rose’s lobby for an hour now, and his patience was running thin. Why wasn’t she picking up the phone? She was with him, wasn’t she? The notion only served to fuel his anger. He had the keys to Rose’s apartment, being the owner, but it didn’t feel right to let himself in when Rose wasn’t there. She hadn’t given him a key, and anyway, waiting inside the apartment would hardly be better. At least down here he’d see Rose the minute she came home.