* * *
As we pulled into Forks, Edward asked, “Do you want to see Charlie today?”
“Well, we’re going to see him on Christmas day and I’m sure he and Sue have a lot of things to do with the wedding just a couple of days away. I think we can pass on that one. Dad’s got a lot on his plate. He is handling my being a vampire really well, considering everything. I just don’t want to stop in and remind him that his daughter is not what she used to be.”
Besides, I’m afraid Renée and Phil might be there, and I’m not ready to face my mom. I’m not sure I’ll be ready on the wedding day, either, but maybe she’ll be so excited over the wedding that she won’t be as observant as usual. I snorted at the thought and Edward glanced at me, one eyebrow raised questioningly. “I was just hoping Mom wouldn’t notice how much I’ve changed and realized that’s a false hope if there ever was one.” I sighed. “I guess the only thing I can really hope for is that she won’t pass out from shock.”
Edward lightly touched my hand on the steering wheel. “Things will work out, Bella. It’ll be fine, I know it.” The words were reassuring, but the strain in his voice made me realize he was worried, too.
Mom can be difficult. I stifled another sigh and smiled at him instead.
When we got home, Jacob had returned. He couldn’t stay away from Nessie too long. He was attached to her in a way I could almost understand. Sometimes I wondered if Edward and I had imprinted. Being physically separated had made us both ill.
Rosalie and Jacob could hardly stand being in the same room with each other, but they tolerated each other’s presence because they both adored Nessie. Edward and I could sense the strain. Edward did more than me because he could hear their thoughts. From his grimace, I wouldn’t be surprised if they were both plotting the other one’s death.
Wanting to lighten the mood, I suggested, “Jacob, would you like to take Nessie out for a walk? I thought we could visit Rainier Field…” I almost shuddered when I said that. Why did I suggest that clearing? I have so many awful memories of that place, but it is a fair distance and will get us far enough out that we can stretch our legs and work out some of the tension.
Edward, Nessie, Jacob and I headed out the door for our home. I needed to dress Nessie for a frigid nighttime outing. While we ran home, Jacob moved into the woods to transform into a wolf.
He was careful to change well away from Nessie. Sam’s unintentional scarring of Emily had been a powerful reminder to all the shape-shifters to be careful where they phased. It wasn’t much harder for Jacob to carry Nessie in his arms, but he preferred his wolf form when we were going on excursions. He seemed to think he could defend her better as a wolf, and I had to agree.
Although the air was frigid, it felt balmy to me. My cold vampire skin didn’t notice the temperature, but I was afraid Nessie might. Blood flowed through her veins. Even though her temperature was like Jacob’s—usually a toasty 108.9, I was afraid she might feel the chill in the air.
I was reminded of a life a long time ago when Jacob had shared a tent with me during a night not unlike this one and then relaxed. As hot as Jacob had been that night—my personal space heater—I knew Nessie wouldn’t even be feeling the night air. Still, I bundled her up in a down coat, sweats and boots.
Nessie climbed onto Jacob’s back. Edward laughingly grabbed my hand and then we all ran like the wind to the clearing. The last time we had been here was the cold January day almost a year ago when we had met the Volturi to convince them that Nessie was not an immortal child but a half immortal one.
I know there will be another meeting. I am sure we will meet them here. Alice will see them coming.
I looked up at the night sky, clear of clouds for once, such a rare occurrence in Forks. I gasped, and Edward turned to me in alarm. “What is it, Bella?”
I stared at the sky in incredulous, stunned silence. I had been a vampire for a little over a year. It occurred to me that I had never really looked at the stars. It was like seeing the sky through a telescope but unfettered by its boundaries.
Everywhere I looked at the sky the stars shone at me with all their wondrous brilliance. I could make out the curve of the Milky Way and saw the colors of the myriad stars. Blue. Red. Yellow. Green. White. Why haven’t I noticed this divine vision?
I’d been too worried about the hunt, distracted by my need for Edward, and worried about Nessie to bother looking at the stars.
There are so many. A numberless concourse of heavenly lights. All clear. All brightly focused. So beautiful. Like music to my eyes.
I felt a dry lump in my throat and knew if I had still been a very human Bella and seen this vision, I would have cried. The beauty of the universe sang in my eyes.
Suddenly, Edward saw, too. We stared in stunned silence, hand in hand.
It’s like a visual symphony. How can the hand of God not be in its creation? Maybe Carlisle had bothered to look when he had tried so many times to kill himself as a new vampire. Maybe the vision of the stars had been what induced him to be so very, very good.
I felt a stirring within me, a change. And the change was good.
Nessie was nodding off on Jacob’s back when we finally headed for home. It was a quiet trip.
When we arrived at our snug cottage, Jacob looked at Edward, a question in his eyes.
Edward answered. “Don’t worry, Jacob. We have everything under control. Go spend some time with Billy and Rachel.”
Jacob ran off, still in his wolf form. I watched him go, a wistful expression on my face.
Edward saw the emotions play across my face. “What are you thinking?”
“I was just wondering how different his life would be if he’d never met me.”
Edward put his arm around my waist and pulled me close. “I don’t think he’s suffering.” He bent down to kiss the top of my head, then he picked up Nessie and we walked into our home.
After I helped Nessie change and put her to bed, I joined Edward. My fingers traced the outlines of his exquisite face, and he grabbed my fingers and kissed them lightly.
I’m glad I have an eternity because loving him never gets old.